“I look forward to your hangover,” Ethan joked winking at her. He knew exactly how well she couldn’t handle shots. “Want me to hold your hair back or get the hair bands ready?”
Amber rolled her eyes, “Bite me.”
“Gladly,” Ethan joked and just grinned at her. He was serious as well.
“You two are gross!” Lucy stepped in, handing them over their glasses, “While you two were doing your cute, platonic love act, I paid. Now drink up because the next round is on you Ethan!” She watched them and readied her glass, making her follow suit and then she counted them in. She then pushed Ethan to the bar, leaving her a few spare minutes to just get to the bottom of Amber’s sudden change. “Right, details, what’s happened?”
Rolling her eyes to stop the tears, Amber hated how easy this got to her. How hard she had allowed herself to fall, “I’ve barely spoken to Connor. I feel like he doesn’t want to talk to me and I just can’t do it. I can’t live feeling like he’s deceiving me because after today I feel it. Ethan got a call from him, but that didn’t matter. I saw him with someone on Skype and my mind is going crazy.”
“Oh, Ambi!” Lucy said and just pulled Amber close to her, enclosing her arms around her. “He’s a silly man.”
“That’s what Ethan said,” Amber pouted and laughed feebly.
“That’s what Ethan said what?” Ethan asked as he came to them with their newest shots.
Lucy looked to Amber and then just smiled, “Men talk, but we’re out to have fun! So down that shot!”
Taking the drink, Amber welcomed it and lavished the burn of alcohol as it fell down her throat, igniting in her chest. Amber soon realised that this; the dancing, the freedom, the letting her hair down, was exactly what she needed. She needed to just chill out and find herself living without Connor moment by moment. Feeling hands on her hips, Amber turned around and found herself in the arms of a complete stranger. Immediately she felt dirty, like she had committed a sin. Pushing away, she looked to Lucy and Ethan and gulped, “I need some air!”
She then took off as fast as she possibly could.
As she stumbled out of the club, needy to make things right with Connor, she lost her footing as one of her heels fell between a crack in the pavement. She knew today was turning into a series of unfortunate events so why not break a leg to go with it? Or better yet, why not break her neck? As she did it again, she felt herself completely lose balance and began to fall as she hit someone on her way down.
“Hey now,” she heard, only able to feel an arm grab her bicep to stop her from falling completely to the ground. Looking up startled, Amber was confused as she found herself met with green eyes.
Feeling the smile begin to pull at the muscles in her cheeks, Amber near enough threw herself at the man before her. That was until he spoke.
“What have I told you about that dress?” he asked her, his tone daring, dangerous, angry.
Chapter Four
Amber stood stunned, a frown across her face. "Uh, what the fuck?" she muttered to herself and looked around in a full circle. "I'm dreaming, I've got to dreaming."
"Baby I'm here." Connor whispered as he pulled her close. He had missed the smell of her; it surrounded him and ignited something that was missing inside of him. Her small arms curved around his back and he let his hands wander over her, down her thick perfect curves and he stroked across her barely covered arse, "This, dress. Amber, I've told you."
She pulled away from him gently and stumbled back. "I- I just needed to go out," She said, pushing her hair away from her face. How could he just appear with no word or warning, literally three hours since she last spoke to him and demanded to know why she was wearing that dress. She frowned at him and took a step forward. He leaned down to her ear, and bit her lobe softly.
"There is one good thing about this dress I suppose." Grabbing her hand he pulled her harshly down the street. Passing drunken students throwing up on the pavement, she felt bile rise to her throat but managed to swallow it back. He grabbed her and pulled her down an abandoned alleyway. Reaching the end, so that they were in complete darkness, he kissed her, allowing his tongue entrance they locked in a passionate embrace.
He lifted her slightly so that she could wrap her legs around his waist, and he skimmed the dress up to her hips with his fingers and pulled at her lace thong. Ripping it in his fingers, she bit hard on his bottom lip and pulled it back slowly and a low growl escaped from her.
"I missed you," he muttered as he licked up her neckline, biting softly on her earlobe then kissing away the pain. Pushing her up against the hard brick wall, he unzipped his fly from his tailored trousers and pushed deeply into her. Dipping his head and flattening his palms against the brick wall, she held up her own weight.
Connor made her cry out in intense pleasure, Amber bit down on his neck, sucking and softly moaning, building the moment between them. He increased his pace, pushing into her, with hard thrusts, hitting her sweet spot every time. The release was definite she could feel it.
His thumb moved towards her and played with the soft nerves, softly stroking and rubbing in circles.
"This, dress, Amber, I've told you what it does to me," he moaned into her ear. "I have to fuck you." His breathing was heavy against her ear and he missed the feel of her on him. He locked his eyes with hers, as sweat began to form on them both. He lifted her again slightly and matched his mouth with hers. Their tongues entwined and became a pace increaser, as he became rough.
She moaned into his mouth each time he pushed inside her, there was always a reason alcohol and sex matched.
"Amber, I'm close," he growled and she cupped his face in her hands.
Locking gazes at him, she agreed, "Me too. I need this."
He nodded in approval and increased his pace once more. He pushed hard and fast and she felt the build up from within her. She could feel her heart rate increase every second, desperate for this release. The fireworks begin to explode in her body, every spark being ignited among her blood.
"Now," he growled against her neck and came hot and heavy inside her. He could feel her insides tighten around him, and her body shuddered in pleasure. He pulled away to look at her, the beauty before him. Their breaths were white fogs in the cold Leeds air, but their bodies remained heated and flush against each other.
The moment she felt him withdraw from her she felt cold and empty – just like how he had left her before. Was this how it was going to be now? The moment he took away his touch was she going to feel this desolate inside? She didn’t want to endure this feeling for the next few months because even she knew the suffering would kill her. She didn’t want to feel this eternally low. That wasn’t her. Amber Watson didn’t wallow like this. She was strong and bubbly, always ready to throw a smile someone’s way. However, Connor enraged her negative emotions, made her body crave him like a drug. He was perfect for her, but yet so bad for health all at once.
Her head fell forward as her heart throbbed for him. He was here, but not for long. She knew that, her mind knew that, her heart knew it too. It just didn’t stop that strong pain from stabbing through her beating heart like a cold, icy dagger.
“Amber,” Connor’s voice was soft, so different from when he was buried deep in her. The power was gone, it was just emotion now. “I’m so sorry. Sorry for earlier, for how I made you feel, for causing you pain.”
“Why are you here?” she asked, her eyes settling upon his gaze. She wanted him here, had yearned for him, but now he was here she could only ready herself for the pain his departure would cause again. “I love that you are. I can’t believe you are here either, but why?”
“Why?” he asked her back, chuckling at how lost she seemed to be. “I’m here because the woman I love is over two hundred miles away and all I’ve done is make you feel like I’m making a new life without you.” Gently he lifted his hand, gliding it along her jaw line so he could caress her check, keeping it cupped in his palm, “I’ve deliberately drowned mysel
f in work so I couldn’t think of you. Earlier, we were sorting a presentation out for Monday morning, but after our chat I couldn’t focus. George understood. He pushed me to come here. It felt like fate that there was a train available.”
“I think I like fate,” Amber whispered at him, a small smile creeping along her lips. “Oh, yeah, I really like fate.” She then reached up to kiss him, “Now can we go back in, I want to dance with you.”
“In this dress, I am not letting you out of my sight,” he told her, acting feral over the matter. “Only for my hands,” he told her, placing his hands on either side of her arse, gripping tightly to make her yelp in excited pleasure. “Then tonight I plan to blow that alcohol out of your system.”
“Is that a challenge?” she asked him, her eyes glistening as she neared his face, wanting a kiss before they went back into the club.
“One that I’ve already accepted,” he told her confidently.
Amber giggled as he took her hand in a tight grip and dragged her towards the main road. As they got to the light at the end of the alley, Connor stopped, a feral growl erupting from him and he pushed Amber against the wall again and began to kiss her vehemently, his tongue pushing for access while his hand groped her. Her arms snaked around his neck, pulling him in tight, keeping the kiss heavy and heated; igniting their bodies as they carried on.
Amber felt the wall behind her, but she never saw Ethan staring on, watching the sight of her in the arms of the man she loved.
Ethan watched as they ate at each other like animals and turned away disgusted that he wished it was him. "I came to find you," he said as he watched the couple come apart at the sound of his voice.
Amber pulled down her dress in nervousness as Ethan turned away. "Connor’s here," she pointed at Connor and he grabbed her hand when she nearly hit him in the face.
"I can see that," Ethan said shrugging his hands into his jeans.
"I came to find you when you disappeared on us at the club. I was worried," he turned to walk back to the club but thought twice and turned back. "I'm going home. Bye, Amber. Connor," he acknowledged and pulled out his phone to dial a cab.
Amber sighed and leant into Connors chest embarrassed at what Ethan just had to witness. She buried her face in his crisp white shirt and breathed in his strong aftershave.
He wrapped his arms around her and let her feel his embrace, let it comfort her. "I'm going home tomorrow," he whispered into her hair and he felt her body become heavier against him.
"Okay." She whispered against him.
"Wanna go home? To our bed?"
"Yes please."
***
The taxi ride home was long and expensive, but having Amber fall asleep in his arms brought him a sense of adoration, especially for her.
"Baby we're here," he whispered as he shook her gently. Stroking her cheek as she awoke, she grumbled and lifted herself from the comfy position she was in.
"That'll be thirty quid mate," muttered a rough voice from the taxi driver. Connor watched as Amber scrambled in her purse for excess change as he handed the driver a £50 note. He handed Connor the £20 change and he touched Amber's arm to alert her.
"Babe you ready?" She looked up at Connor, her eyes swimming with confusion.
"Yo-You paid?" she asked again and shook her head as she placed back all of her loose change in her purse and began to get out of the taxi. "You're just a pain in my arse really aren't ya, Con," she gave him a wicked grin and suddenly missed the feel of his arms steadying her on her shaky legs as she came to stand. Making her way up the path, she fumbled again for her keys to unlock the front door. As she heard Connor approaching behind her, she spun around to face him, frustration ignited upon her features. "Don't you have your key?" she asked Connor and his face drew ashen almost instantly. She watched as he shrugged his hands into his trouser pockets and looked anywhere but at her.
"I must have forgotten to pick them up, babe. You got yours? It's freezing out here!" He ran his hands up and down his arms desperate for warmth.
"Somewhere in here," she muttered and dropped her bag to the floor as if that might help find them. She grabbed the keys, and the rest of her belongings, and unlocked the door quickly desperate to retrieve some warmth from indoors. As soon as they were inside Connor grabbed at her hips and bit and nibbled her earlobe from behind.
"I might take you this way later," he whispered into her ear causing fluid movements in her groin.
She turned to face him, ignoring his come on. Feeling a little more sobered and ready to face him she crossed her arms in front of her. "So er, when you said you're going home tomorrow since when did London become your home?" she watched as he soaked in her words wondering why she has chosen to do this now, when he's made the two hundred and sixty mile journey to be with her.
"Are we doing this now, Amber? Really?" Connor asked, annoyed immediately.
"Yes really, Connor. I'm not sharing you with London. We already decided that," she said turning her back on him.
"It kind of is home right now to me isn't it?" he questioned as he tried to plead his case.
She sighed in exasperation as she tried to figure out what he means. "It's not your home, Connor, though is it? I thought this was your home?"
"It is, it is," he said with a slight smirk.
"Don't pull that face at me, Con. I'm angry at you. I've been here all alone this week. All on my own. I have barely slept because you haven't been next to me. I haven't been out much. Just to go to work, or get milk. In on my own. It's like I'm single."
"Is that what you want?" Connor shot back at her, his eyes darkening with malice.
"Is that what I want?” Amber quizzed back, disbelief filling her voice. “Being single? Of course not, but if it's what you want I suggest you fuck off out of my house right now."
She pulled off her heels and threw them against the old wooden flooring. Running towards the kitchen she opened the bin and the bile had risen to the point of sickness. The heaves racked her body as she threw up into her bin, and Connor came to hold her hair back from her face.
“Get off me,” she smacked him away, feeling the sudden nausea dying out. Giving herself a few moments before she moved, Amber took herself to the sink. Turning the tap on full, she blasted the disgusting taste away with the cold water before wiping the back of her hand across her lips and turning to him. “Don’t you dare think this is what I want!” Her tone was menacing, heightened with anger at his insinuation, “You got the fucking good end of this bargain and I got absolutely nothing but promises.” Her eyes rose, meeting the green orbs that drew her in, brain washed her, made her thoughtless. However, tonight she was going to be strong. “I spent four days in bed after you left because I felt like more of me had gone than anything else. You left, you fucking forget me and I’m supposed to be able to plaster a smile on my face and get on with it.”
“I’m sure Ethan was more than happy to fill my space,” he said the words before he could stop the collateral damage and the look that lanced across her face told him he had done so much wrong. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I’m tired from work all day, travelling, and arguing.” He applied thick emphasis on that word. “I came back to apologise, not get us into deeper shit!”
“I asked you a simple question,” she started to speak, her tone barely there. “I thought I was your home, Connor. You always said that with me you were home, but you’ve made it abundantly clear that it was all a lie.”
“It wasn’t,” he spoke through gritted teeth.
She scoffed and bit her lip as she rolled her eyes, only allowing the tears to go so far as to make her eyes glisten. “You know, once upon a time I would have believed that. Right now, I’m at a crossroads and all I can see is that you already prefer your life away from me, Connor, and let me tell you now, you’re not doing a lot to convince me otherwise.” She then flicked her eyes to his again, her anger beginning to burn, “As for Ethan, he’s the one that pulled my arse out of bed and go
t me back into the land of the living before I made myself a permanent home in the bed we used to share!”
“Are you deliberately trying to make me feel bad? Make me feel awful?” he challenged her, a hand brushing across his brow as if to work out the tension of a headache.
“Is it working?” she bit back.
“Yes,” he told her and took in a calming breath. “What is it you want from me, Amber? I stopped a business meeting to get here and you’re acting like an ungrateful bitch because I had to spend time getting into the throes of work. You told me you understood.”
“I do understand!” she snapped at him again. “What I don’t understand is how I can be the one that puts all of the damn effort in and you can’t even spare me a few minutes when you wake up in the morning, or a spare few minutes before you go to bed! I’d rather have short and snappy calls with you than none at all! Hell, ring me when dinner’s cooking or the TV’s showing adverts. Don’t pick me up and drop me as and when you so please. I am not your fucking toy!”
“You are when you wanna be,” he told her, daring to give her a playful grin, praying it would just snap the bad aura from her around her.
This time Amber rubbed her forehead, “That’s not fair to use against me. There’s a lot more at stake right now, more emotions here and you don’t seem to care one bit about them, or me.” She then took a shuddering breath before continuing, “So if you want to end this and just stick in London with your new home, tell me. Don’t string me along with lie after fucking lie! Don’t tell me you love me, miss me, whatever. Just don’t bother to lie to me anymore!”
“I didn’t lie to you!” he bellowed at her, stalking towards her so fast he watched her flinch, readying for the outcome – whatever that may be.
She backed up until she felt the countertop dig into her back. "What do you want, Connor?" she asked him as his mouth was inches from hers. She was scared, seriously scared at his new controlling, aggressive behaviour towards her.
Your Little Secret Page 4