"You think I deserve this? You think, deep down, in your heart of hearts, that I deserve to lose the only girl I ever loved, because someone has claimed that I fathered their child? You want to let everything go? Really, Amber? You feel that little of us?"
Amber looked back at him, and he stalked slowly towards her. Ethan reached his hand out to grab hers, desperate to feel her milky skin under his fingertips. "Don’t touch me, Ethan. Just don't. I don’t know how to feel, I don’t know how to react. My heart is being squeezed, the air is being sucked out of me. My life is a fucking joke. I finally get some kind of happiness, to only have it snatched away, again by that fucking woman. She's the reason I can’t be with you. You know what she did at University. If it wasn't for her and her vicious mouth we could have been together. But you chose her over me. And you'll do it again, and truthfully? That's what scares me. Not the fact that she's carrying your child, but the fact that I'll lose you either way. Eva will become 'Eva Mitchell’ and I'll just become a memory."
Ethan grabbed Amber's shoulders. "Have you heard yourself? You're not going to lose me, Amber. I've told you this, time and time again. We are forever, Amber, I'm not losing you again, I can't, it'll kill me. I know what you're doing. You're trying to hate me, so this will be easier for you. Well, it's not going to work. Because wherever you go, I'll be with you. Hell, go to fucking Timbuktu I'll follow you. Because you’re my Amber."
Amber felt a tear fall from her eye and wiped it away with the back of her hand. She didn’t want to feel this emotion anymore. She didn't want to feel at all. Ethan cupped her cheeks, and kissed the tears away. "I fucking love you Amber. I always will, I always have. Just please, don't leave me baby. I need you." His blue eyes pierced hers, and she rested her forehead on his. Ethan searched her eyes, for her feelings. He couldn’t lose her.
"I need time," Amber whispered, barely audible. "I need time to adjust, to forgive."
"Can I kiss you?" Ethan asked, his desperation slowly subsiding. The subject change catching by surprised as he had hoped. He could give her space. If it meant there was a possibility of them being together, he would give her anything she wanted.
He watched as she slowly nodded, and he tucked a lock of chocolate brown hair behind her ear. Even her ears were beautiful. Her lips were swollen from her emotion, and Ethan began to kiss her slowly, before his own emotion became apparent. He didn't want to cry in front of Amber, he didn't want to be weak. How could he let this go? Let her go? Her lips were soft, after days of not being close to her, he devoured her mouth, and kissed every inch. Sliding his tongue along her lower lip, she opened for him, and their tongues licked and caressed each other. He missed this connection with her. She was his optimal. She fucking knew this. Now, he has to give her space again and deal with the woman carrying his child. His tears fell and entwined with hers, as the emotion poured from them both. They bled together, the pain hurting them both. Amber pulled away, leaving Ethan breathless and cold without her.
Amber picked up her case, and watched as Lucy nodded at her from behind Ethan, and opened the hotel room door. "I love you," she whispered and Ethan turned his back on her before falling into Lucy's arms.
London was sticky, hot. Amber found her way to another hotel. She had work, she didn't want to leave Ethan here with all of this. But she still needed to be isolated from reality for a while. Calling work, she explained to her boss that she wouldn’t be in the next few days due to grievances, and sorted coming back the following week. She was at an expensive hotel, but with having a job now she managed to get a credit card. She paid for six nights at a posh hotel near Marble Arch, and fell into the mode she knew all too well. She loved him, this was all she knew. Ethan was her beloved, her one. He was the reason she is who she is. Without him, she'd be a mess. A lost cause. Shoving her IPod earphones in her ears, she fell against the white pillows and sobbed. The pain rippled through her body, from top to bottom, causing heaves of emotion to pour out of her. Coldplay sang about tears, and streaming. They sang her life to her, and brought all of this raw, desperate pain out of her. Pulling the headphones out, she cursed herself, "You're not fucking sixteen anymore Amber. Grow the fuck up." Sitting up from the bed, and wiping her tears away, she began to unpack her suitcase. When she had finished, she decided on a bath.
Walking into the bathroom, she set the bath running, and poured a purple liquid under the warm pouring water. She might be alone for the next few days, but this was what she needed. She had no real space to herself after Connor fucked her over, and she fell straight into a relationship with Ethan. The last few months had been paradise. A certainty of happiness and love. They had been, in all honesty, the best of her life. She made sweet long love to the man of her dreams, and found somewhere decent, reliable to work. Yes, she missed Yorkshire, every day. But she would do anything to be with the man she loved.
Now, she had these days to remember, to be sad, happy, and herself, with of course, a painful decision to make.
Looking around at what her world had become, she realised her mother was always going to be right. She would never been anything to anyone. Someone was always going to ruin her perfectly made plans. Amber Watson was always going to end with nothing, regardless of how much she loved and gave to someone.
Sighing heartbrokenly, she took one more look around her hotel room and could only wonder one thing now.
What the hell did she do now?
Acknowledgements
We would like to thank these people below for their input and support with this book. Emma Mack (for editing and supporting) , Allana Walker,Victoria Knappett, Jade Ives, Jade Windley, Keely Snyder, Amy Moore and to Erin Spencer for organising a crazy release blitz and inviting us to Tulsa next year. You rock, lady.
Thank you to the reader for purchasing this book, we really hope you enjoyed it.
About the authors
Bethan Cooper spends her days working 8 hours at a well-known restaurant and yawning - a lot.
But her vulnerability behind the uniform is her writing, having been obsessed with writing short stories and song lyrics from her teens, she has finally put pen to paper and started a novel.
She is married to the love of her life, who she met when she was seventeen.
So writing romance is a must for her, especially lots of kissing and people surrounded by love, as it is after all, the best human emotion.
You can find her here:
Twitter - @AuthorBethC
Facebook - www.facebook.com/BethanCooperAuthor
Goodreads - www.goodreads.com/BethanCooper
***
Kirsty-Anne Still is a twenty-three year old writer from Kent in the south east of England. Having found a love for writing in 2009, Kirsty dreamt of pursuing her writing. She allowed it to consume her life in the form of wild ideas scrawled onto post-it notes, scraps of papers, whichever surface is first available!
She spends her time with family, friends, working and dreaming about her next best novel idea! Always been a soft touch for romance, Kirsty cannot withhold from having a strong romantic touch to her books, regardless of how dangerous the plot can become!
After being just another Fanfiction writer, Kirsty found the self-belief to step out from writing someone else’s characters and writing her own. Even though A Fire That Burns was an adaptation from a Fanfiction she had written years before, The Viper Series was a trilogy that added to a long line of original work that is yet to be finished – blame it on the overactive imagination!
Writing is a lifeline. She now loves creating a world that others can literally fall into and love as much as she does. She loves having the control to make a whole new world. It’s like a dependency, and an addictive one! As much as she complains, Kirsty does love the mini dialogues that go on in her head, the plotlines that attack her when she least expects them to, and the excitement that comes with a brand-spanking-new idea! The ones that jump to life at the most inappropriate times and drive her totally crazy!!
For now, Kirsty splits her life between writing, dreaming, working, and volunteering with children.
To learn more about Kirsty,, find her
Twitter: @KirstyAnneStill
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/authorkirstyannestill
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7059341.Kirsty_Anne_Still
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