by Karis Walsh
“Look, I know the days before the wedding can be an overwhelming time for a bride,” she continued, in what she hoped was a more soothing tone of voice. “Is there someone I can call for you? Your mom, or a bridesmaid?”
“God no,” Brooke said with a burst of laughter. “I’m not having a breakdown, you idiot. I’m trying to seduce you.”
“Really?” Andy asked in disbelief.
Brooke rolled her eyes. “Thank you. I didn’t realize I would be so bad at this.” She squeezed lime into her drink with a vengeance, flinging a piece of pulp across the table into Andy’s eye.
“Ouch!” she said. Brooke glared at her and Andy scowled back. “You were aiming at me.”
Brooke didn’t deny it, and Andy had a feeling the rest of the drink might be coming at her if she wasn’t careful. She raised her hands in surrender. “No big deal. I’m fine.”
Brooke tossed her the condensation-soaked napkin that had been serving as her coaster and stared at the wall behind Andy as she dabbed at her eye.
They sat in silence for several minutes as Andy concentrated on smoothing out the damp napkin, searching for a way to let this apparently distraught woman down gently.
“Look at me?” she finally said, waiting until Brooke dragged her gaze back to meet Andy’s. “I don’t know what’s going on with you tonight. Maybe you have cold feet, or you got in a fight with your fiancé, or he’s getting a hooker for his bachelor party and you want revenge. If you need to talk about it, I’ll listen. If you want to get drunk, I’ll buy. But having sex with a random stranger just because I mentioned I’m a lesbian will not solve your problems.”
“Just because…” Brooke started, then stopped. She moved into the chair next to Andy with a bang. “I did not call you tonight just because you said you were gay. I called because I couldn’t get you out of my mind. Because you’re so damned gorgeous I haven’t stopped thinking about you all week. Because I’ve been fantasizing about those hands of yours touching me…”
Her voice broke with a vulnerability that tore at Andy’s heart, so when Brooke leaned in and kissed her tentatively on the mouth, she only hesitated a heartbeat before she wrapped her fingers in Brooke’s hair and pulled her closer. This is definitely not professional conduct, Andy thought as she finally moved her mouth away from Brooke’s. The best thing to do would be to apologize and get out of there. Instead, Andy found herself trailing kisses along Brooke’s cheek toward her ear. “I’ve had some fantasies myself,” she murmured, her breath whispering against Brooke’s skin, pulling a quiet moan from her throat.
“Your place?” Brooke asked, raising a hand to lightly touch Andy’s lips. Andy simply nodded, then grasped Brooke’s hand and pulled her to her feet.
*
Andy kept her eyes on the BMW in her rearview mirror, thinking that the odds of Brooke coming to her senses and peeling off to head for the safety of home were about fifty-fifty. But when she slipped into a parking place near her Capitol Hill apartment building, the sporty car pulled up beside her.
“Take my spot,” she told Brooke through the car’s open window. She pointed at the tiny lot of reserved parking stalls. “Number three.”
They didn’t touch or talk as Andy let them into the building and led the way to her apartment. Once inside she turned to face Brooke, ready to offer a drink or small talk to make her more comfortable. But before she could speak, Brooke stepped closer and ran her hands through Andy’s hair, pulling her head down for a searing kiss.
Andy backed her up against the door, reaching behind them to lock the dead bolt as she ran her tongue across Brooke’s lower lip, seeking an opening. Brooke obliged, parting her lips and deepening the kiss without loosening her hold on Andy’s head. She broke the contact suddenly, slipping out from under Andy’s arms and backing down the narrow hallway.
“Bedroom?” she asked, pulling her tank top over her head and letting it fall to the floor. Andy followed slowly, mimicking Brooke’s actions and tugging off her T-shirt.
“End of the hall,” she said, not sure if she could catch her breath enough for a complete sentence as she watched Brooke slip out of her bra. She followed suit and unhooked hers as they entered the small room. Brooke kept backing up, her eyes never leaving Andy’s, until her legs bumped against the bed. Andy stopped when she did, still several feet away, and watched with anticipation as Brooke moved her hands down to the button of her jeans, slowly sliding them down her legs. Pink underwear followed. Only then did Andy remove her own pants, wanting to let Brooke take the lead. Even if it killed her, she wanted to be ready to stop if Brooke came to her senses and changed her mind.
Luckily she didn’t, and Andy breathed a sigh of relief as Brooke came into her arms and pressed the full length of her soft body against Andy’s more muscular one. She cried out against Andy’s lips as she moved against her, rubbing breasts against breasts, her curly triangle against Andy’s pubic mound. Andy moved her lips down Brooke’s throat to her breasts, stopping only to impatiently toss the covers aside before lowering her to the bed.
Brooke captured Andy’s mouth again and flipped them over until she was straddling her. She rained kisses on Andy’s neck and mouth as she slid against her. “God, the feel of you…” she groaned as she settled onto her side next to Andy.
Andy lay as still as she could while Brooke watched her own hands roam across Andy’s breasts and stomach. Brooke had a slightly dazed and surprised look on her face, and Andy wondered how much of that was due to being in bed with another woman or simply with someone other than her fiancé. Either way, she ran her hands gently along Brooke’s spine, not wanting to frighten her away with any aggressive movements until she was certain Brooke was comfortable. But even her tentative touches and feather-light kisses were enough to make Andy tremble with desire. She had to fight harder to keep control than she ever had with more experienced lovers. Finally Brooke’s hand reached down to trail lightly through Andy’s slick curls, making her moan and arch toward the brief contact.
“You’re so wet,” Brooke’s breath was ragged and her tone amazed as their eyes met. Andy almost drowned in those eyes, glistening like crystals with the intensity of Brooke’s desire. “I…I want to taste you. Is that all right?”
“Is it all right? Are you fucking kidding me?” Andy rasped out.
Brooke laughed, her nervousness dissolving as she saw Andy’s obvious hunger for her. She watched Andy’s face as she slipped fingers between her legs with more confidence. She dragged her wet fingers up Andy’s torso and swirled them around Andy’s taut nipple before lowering her head to suck and taste her. Andy cried out and arched her back, pushing her breast deeper into Brooke’s mouth. Brooke obliged, sucking harder before she raised her head again.
“Mmm,” she purred. “So sweet.”
Brooke slowly kissed her way down the wet trail on Andy’s stomach, surprised she felt so comfortable taking control. From her first shy kiss in the bar to the short drive as she followed Andy home, Brooke’s uncertainty had gradually vanished and had been replaced with a sense that she had made the right decision and this was the right place for her to be. She paused at Andy’s lower abdomen, drawing her tongue across the strong muscles and making Andy groan and open her legs in invitation. Brooke felt trembling fingers gently rake through her hair, encouraging her to move lower.
“Please, Brooke, please,” Andy begged, gasping as Brooke’s mouth finally found her inner folds. Brooke had expected to feel unsure, to need Andy to explain what to do, but the way Andy’s body responded to her tongue’s gentle exploration gave her an unanticipated sense of connection. She had never realized that a lover’s arousal could so directly lead to her own. Her self-consciousness slowly changed to curiosity, then confidence, then hunger. Her tongue grew more determined, and it only took one firm brush across Andy’s swollen clit to make her come with a sharp cry that gave Brooke all the reassurance she needed.
Brooke laughed with delight and scooted up the bed to rain kisses a
long Andy’s neck and pull her into her arms.
“You liked that, I take it?” Andy asked, pulling Brooke’s mouth to hers.
“That was amazing. I could feel so much energy building up in you, and I had the key to release it.” She flicked her tongue across Andy’s lower lip.
She gasped then as Andy quickly nipped at that tongue and sucked it into her own mouth. “You think that was amazing?” she asked as she flipped Brooke onto her back. “It gets even better,” she growled, pinning Brooke’s wrists above her head as she kissed her way down Brooke’s throat. Brooke kept her hands raised, her fists clenched, even as Andy let go of them in order to use both mouth and fingers to tease her full breasts. Using all of her skill, she sucked and rubbed until Brooke was moaning and writhing with passion underneath her. Andy dropped a hand to Brooke’s thigh and sucked a nipple into her mouth, grazing it with her teeth as she entered Brooke hard with two fingers.
“Oh God!” Brooke yelled in surprise, pushing with her hips onto Andy’s hand and tangling her fingers in Andy’s hair.
That was all the invitation Andy needed. She quickly moved between Brooke’s legs, pumping with her fingers in time to the rhythm of thrusting hips and letting her lips and tongue feast on her sweet wetness.
Brooke seemed ready to climax, but Andy forced herself to slow down, easing the pressure of her fingers so she could enjoy her exploration of Brooke’s slick folds. She held out as long as she could, loving the taste of her and the rapid rise and fall of Brooke’s breathing. Finally a whimpered “Andy, please!” urged her to move to Brooke’s swollen clit, sucking it into her mouth and gently grazing against it with her teeth. Her fingers resumed their determined rhythm and her tongue matched it, flicking rapidly over Brooke’s clit.
Brooke came, quietly gasping, and then sagged back against the bed. Oh no you don’t, Andy thought, sensing that Brooke was holding back, trying to control her body’s responses. She sucked more firmly, shifting the position of her fingers as she continued to fuck Brooke until she came again, crying out with abandon this time, her defenses too weak to deny herself a full release.
Andy quickly moved to her side, pulling the covers with her and drawing them around Brooke’s trembling shoulders. She gently kissed her salty tears.
“I know,” she murmured, holding her close. “It’s not easy to let go like that the first time.”
Brooke sniffed and snuggled deeper into Andy’s arms. Andy stroked her back, loving the feeling of their bodies as they molded together, trying to ignore the diamond that still glinted on Brooke’s finger.
Chapter Five
Andy slid her hand across the cool sheets, sensing even in her half-awake state that Brooke had left her bed. She rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling, afraid to get up and look for a note. Last night had been incredible, and Andy couldn’t remember the last time she had shared such a physical connection with another woman. The give and take, the ability to sense what the other wanted and to adapt to meet her demands, the conflict between her body’s responses to Brooke’s explorations and her desire to turn the tables and get her hands and mouth on Brooke again.
She finally got out of bed and pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a tank top. Brooke had gathered Andy’s clothes off the floor and had stacked them haphazardly on a bedroom chair, but other than that small attempt at housekeeping there were no signs that she had been in the apartment at all last night. Andy walked through her small space twice, searching in vain for some acknowledgment from Brooke. She glanced at the clock and then went to find Brooke’s paperwork to get her phone number. It wasn’t quite eight, but Andy needed to talk to her and find out what was going on. There was no way Brooke could have shared herself with Andy like that and still be planning on marrying someone else. She must be dealing with her family and her fiancé, and although Andy hated to interrupt, she knew Brooke would need her support today.
A cheerful male voice answered the phone on the second ring. He didn’t sound like the distraught fiancé, and Andy held the phone in silence for a moment.
“Hello?” he asked again.
“Is Brooke there?” Andy managed.
“No, she went to brunch with her bridesmaids. Can I help you with something?”
Andy didn’t know how to respond to that. No, I just fucked your fiancée last night and I wanted to call and see how she’s doing. “That’s okay, thanks. I had a question about the music for the service, but I guess it’s no big deal.”
“Is this Andy?” Jake asked. Andy managed a surprised affirmation. “Brooke told me she was meeting with you last night. Did everything go all right?”
“Everything went fine.” All right? Fine? How about, there were fireworks. The earth moved. “I’ll see both of you at the church then.”
“Sounds great. I’m looking forward to meeting you.” Jake hung up, sparing Andy the necessity of lying and saying she was looking forward to any part of the day, especially meeting the man who was marrying Brooke. She spent the next half hour in a scalding hot shower, trying to force some feeling back into her suddenly numbed body.
*
Brooke sat passively in the midst of a bustle of activity as the hairstylist fussed with her blond curls. Jake’s sister Emily twirled around her, making the skirt of her flower girl dress stand straight out. Bridesmaids laughed and talked as they waited their turn for the seamstress to do a last-minute fitting, and Brooke’s mom and the florist debated whether to add an extra flower arrangement at the altar. Brooke glanced at the mass of white satin hanging on the back of the door. Soon she would need to put it on and stand still while the seamstress measured and pinned. One step closer to getting married.
From the outside, Brooke knew she looked like the calmest person in the room, but inside her thoughts were in turmoil. Being with Andy had raised so many questions, instead of simply satisfying a curiosity as she had expected it to. She felt powerless to stop the preparations going on around her, but she had to admit she was the one who had put these events in motion. She had accepted Jake’s proposal, she had planned the details of the wedding. Now it had a momentum of its own, and Brooke couldn’t find a way to stop the wave of activity as it pulled her toward the altar. She wasn’t even sure she wanted to.
Her face hurt from smiling at all the people who congratulated her and said how happy they were to share this most important event of her life. They had no idea how insignificant the wedding seemed compared to the life-changing night she had shared with Andy. She was left alone to dwell on the implications of her body’s responses to another woman’s touch, but the constant barrage of wedding details made it difficult to process her feelings about Andy, about their lovemaking. She had wanted to talk to Andy early in the morning, to wake her up and admit to a rising panic as she contemplated getting married, but she had been too scared. Scared to acknowledge those feelings, scared to discover that maybe their night together hadn’t meant as much to Andy as it had to her.
Brooke checked her watch. Her friend Jan should be arriving soon from Spokane. She was the only person Brooke could confide in right now. Even though her mom didn’t approve of their friendship, Brooke had insisted on inviting Jan to the rehearsal and the dinner following it. It was the only battle Brooke had fought in all of her wedding preparations, acquiescing to her mother in every other instance.
Finally the last flower was pinned into her elaborate hairstyle, and Brooke allowed herself to be cinched into the white gown. She stared blankly at her reflection as the seamstress checked the fit and everyone else made the appropriate compliments due to a bride. All Brooke could see when she looked in the mirror was the cost of the dress. Thousands of dollars for this custom gown, and numerous nonrefundable payments to other vendors would be lost if she called off the wedding now. Plus the embarrassment her family would experience as they tried to explain her change of heart, the wasted time for everyone who had helped her with plans, and—most of all—the pain she would cause Jake if she walked away from him
.
Brooke felt some relief when she turned around so the seamstress could check her train. She knew the real reason she was afraid to cancel the wedding, and she hated facing herself in the mirror because of it. Everyone she loved seemed convinced that marrying Jake was the right choice for her. She had defied her family’s wishes once before, and the results had been disastrous. How could she claim to know the right choice now? How could she put everything that mattered to her at risk because of one fantastic night with Andy? Her parents would recover from the lost expenses and the humiliation, her friends and family would go on with their lives, and Jake would survive without her. The real cost of cancelling the wedding would be faced by Brooke herself. Her way of life, her family, her friends. They all could be lost if Brooke left Jake and came out as a lesbian. She didn’t know Andy, didn’t know how she felt about their night together. She couldn’t expect her to step in as family, to single-handedly replace everyone Brooke loved. If she walked away from the wedding, she might be walking all alone. That was a price she wasn’t willing to pay.
*
Andy walked into the church well before the rehearsal was scheduled to start. She looked for Brooke but the florist told her the bridal party hadn’t arrived yet. Andy kept herself busy arranging the chairs for the quartet and playing some quiet scales on her viola. She hadn’t been able to concentrate during her regular morning practice, and her hands were shaking so badly that even her simple scales were played with vibrato. She alternated between anger at letting herself be used for a fling and frustration because she had glimpsed the possibility of something beautiful and had it snatched away.