Redefining Us: A Reclusive Novel

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Redefining Us: A Reclusive Novel Page 3

by Harloe Rae


  What the heck?

  I whip around in my seat and see the reason for my panic. Xander, in all his hulking glory, is glowering at me from behind my vehicle. He’s looking at me like I’m responsible for some serious crime by just sitting here. I almost wiggle my fingers at him in a patronizing wave.

  Am I supposed to get out? What does he expect me to do? He must have noticed me spinning out. I’m clearly not going anywhere, anytime soon. He can’t possibly expect me to walk home.

  Even though I’m a bit distracted by my mental musing, I can still make out the yell from outside.

  “Get in the house!” Xander growls out, accompanied by another solid pound to my trunk.

  He’s going to let me into his place? I didn’t expect that at all. Maybe this will give us an opportunity to actually talk. Opening my door takes serious effort but I manage when I throw my whole body into the action. Of course this also causes me to tumble out into the snow. Can I get a freaking break?

  I lay there for a moment, basking in my embarrassment, waiting to see if Xander will offer me a hand. I don’t hear any movement so I tip my head back to make sure. Just as I figured. The butthead is still standing in the exact same spot with the scowl still firmly on his lips.

  I make sure to groan extra loud while awkwardly rolling over, followed by ungracefully standing up. I almost want to take a bow because this whole situation is so ridiculous. Once I’m back on my two feet, I make a big production of brushing all the white fluff off my clothes. Still no reaction from the big guy. I’m seriously beginning to wonder if there is something wrong with his brain function.

  “Get in the house. I’ll stay in the shack,” Xander grumbles out and jerks his chin in the direction I’m assuming he plans to go. Considering the condition of his home, I’m beyond concerned at what shape the other building is in for him to refer to it as a shack. We might not be friends anymore but I still care about the man.

  “Can’t we stay in there together?” I question. I’m not ashamed to admit I’m scared to be in his place alone on top of the worry he’s holing up someplace even more rundown. His response is immediate.

  “No.” That’s it. Just no. It would be a waste of breath arguing. I’ve quickly figured that out in the short time we’ve . . . talked, if you could call it that.

  Xander turns and heads toward the forest side of his property. I quickly lose sight of him since the flurries are casting a white hue and wreaking havoc on my vision. Just in case he’s still within hearing range, I decide to give him some gratitude. “Great! Thank you so very much, Xander. You’ve been really helpful!” I scream out into the wind.

  What a jerk.

  I begin the journey back to the porch I stood on not even an hour ago. My previous tracks aren’t covered completely so I’m able to use them to make the trek easier. I bypass the stairs once again then carefully use the railing to kick the snow off my boots. Getting a self-guided tour of Xander’s home should be mighty interesting.

  I just hope he didn’t lock the door.

  * * *

  What the fuck was I thinking offering to let Willow stay in my house? Not only is that a huge invasion of the carefully constructed privacy I have built, but now I’m stuck sleeping out in the shed. At least there is a blanket stashed in here. Not like it would really matter. No way in hell am I going back in my home with Willow violating the space.

  I couldn’t let her sleep out in her car. I might be an asshole but even I have some manners left. That thought reminds me of when Willow fell into the snow. Still a klutz. It took all my control not to laugh at her flailing about. When was the last time I even smiled?

  Willow is making dents to my damaged exterior without even trying. In a twisted way, I feel almost relieved to have her stomping all over my mangled layers. She’s proving to me that I’m not completely dead inside. Even though I would never admit it, I feel a tiny sliver of light mixing in with all the darkness.

  When I first opened the door and saw her standing there, I had this small sense of relief crash into me. It overpowered the anger constantly pulsing through me. I actually had to work hard to keep my expression detached and unfazed. What the fuck is up with that?

  It doesn’t hurt that she’s so damn hot. Willow had always been a pretty girl and had plenty of boys drooling at her feet. I followed her around like a love-struck fool. Her vibrant green gaze could stare so deep I thought she could see all my lewd thoughts. Her pouty lips could get me to do anything she asked. I always imagined running my fingers through her long raven hair. Willow would release a breathy sigh and whisper out my name.

  I’m more than shocked to find my visual stroll-down-adolescent-lane has caused a physical reaction. I’m rock fucking hard. I can’t even remember the last time I was turned on.

  Holy shit.

  Bringing my fantasy into the present, I imagine Willow walking into my house. I can’t help wondering what she’s doing right now. Even all bundled up, I can tell she has a body made for sin. All curves and smooth lines. I bet the first thing she did was slowly unzip her coat to reveal a skin-tight sweater that hugs her body like a second skin. She catches my gaze and untamed lust causes her irises to expand. She looks hungry as she begins to stalk towards me. I would gladly be her next meal.

  I yank my pants down enough to expose my dick and hiss as the cold air stings my sensitive flesh. My fingers barely touch when I wrap my palm around it because I’m that fucking hard. I haven’t jerked off since before the ambush and I know this won’t take long. Especially with seductive visions of Willow filtering through my imagination.

  Her fingers rake through her long hair before sliding down her torso. Willow grabs the bottom edge of her shirt then eases it up so slowly it’s agonizing. Her stomach is toned and flat. Her generous rack pushed up by a lacy fuck-me bra. Her slender neck stretched back as the sweater goes over her head. With each new sliver of exposed skin, my cock grows impossibly stiffer.

  My fist starts a slow glide, with a tight grip, just to get used to the sensation. Prickles creep up my spine as my hand strokes faster and I refocus on my erotic illusion. My balls are already beginning to tighten and Willow is still half dressed.

  I picture Willow unsnapping her bra before slowly sliding the straps down her shoulders. She’s taking slow, measured steps toward me as she sets her tits free with a magnificent bounce. Her nipples are stunned by the frosty air and instantly harden into stiff peaks. I’m so mesmerized by her voluptuous breasts that I don’t notice her beginning to lower her leggings.

  I groan loudly as the pleasure courses through my limbs. The pressure in my fucking dick is close to exploding but I hold back a bit longer. Willow is busy pushing her pants down and enticing me further by giving an extra swing to her hips. The sight of her like this is driving me crazier than I already am.

  The only thing left is that tiny strip of fabric between her legs. Her mouth curves into a coy smile as she hooks her fingers into the sides. Her tongue peeks out and slowly licks along her puffy bottom lip as the panties drop to the floor. Fuck me, she’s stunning. The image my mind is conjuring up of Willow is completely captivating me, seducing me.

  What would happen if she was actually standing in front of me?

  A rumble tears from my mouth as I yank myself even harder, almost to the point of pain. The sexy temptress sashays into the bathroom. She bends slowly, giving me a tantalizing view of her delectable ass, and turns on the shower. The steam billows out around her, which gives the room a heavenly effect. A halo seems to appear on Willow’s head.

  My Angel.

  The tendrils of hate and shame are trying to pull me back from the edge. I don’t deserve to experience an ounce of pleasure after abandoning my brothers. The familiar stab of pain floods my system with an image of them bleeding out. They reach for me with broken limbs and cry out for help. Their searching fingers morph into a lethal noose tightening around my neck, attempting to rob the air from my lungs. I choke as my free hand goes to my thr
oat while my occupied palm continues the punishing strokes. The darkness is thick but my eyes rapidly scan for any sight of light.

  A bright shimmer forms in front of me and I use all my strength to focus on that tiny spot. My fucking mind is playing nasty tricks on me but for once, I regain control and the poison ricochets off me.

  I am once again lost to the images of Willow naked, in the shower, with water streaming down her perfect body. Her skin glows from the sunlight streaming in. I want to reach out and caress every delectable inch. I want to run my tongue along every delicious inch.

  She glances over her shoulder with a shy smile gracing her lips. That look is reserved just for me and that’s what tosses me over into oblivion. My balls tighten as my cock throbs with release. The orgasm feels ripped out of me and is so intense that my back arches at a painful angle. My cum fills my palm and spills over as I continue stroking through the pleasure. It seems endless and I’m suspended in a bewildered state. Eventually my withered body collapses to the floor, totally spent. My hand is still grasping my softening dick as I picture Willow blowing me a kiss.

  For the first time in years, I drift off to sleep with a clear mind as a calming sensation settles over me. I’ll allow the guilt to catch up with me tomorrow.

  * * *

  I’m startled awake by what sounds like a tree collapsing right by my head. I blink my tired eyes several times before taking in my surroundings. It only takes a quick moment for me to recall where I am and that I slept in Xander’s bed. His mattress is huge and smells so delicious, I want to roll around in the sheets in hopes that the scent will cling to me.

  My mischievous thoughts are rudely interrupted by another loud THWACK.

  Seriously, what is that?

  My curiosity gets the best of me once again and instead of spending more time in this pillowy fortress, I roll to the edge and slide my feet to the floor. I stretch my stiff limbs before padding over to the covered window. When I lean over to take a peek through a crack in the boards, I almost fall over at the sight before me.

  Xander is all I can see. It’s like an extreme case of tunnel vision.

  Holy cow!

  He looks so sexy in a plain gray shirt and faded jeans. His dark unruly hair is covered by a black beanie but my attention doesn’t linger there long. My eyes quickly scan back to his torso and the obviously damp fabric clinging to flexing muscles.

  Wow.

  I mean, yeah, wow.

  Xander is freaking ripped.

  My hands press against the rough wood as I very audibly gulp down the saliva that had been prepared to dribble down my chin. This is serious lady porn and I am not ashamed to admit it. An erotic vision filters into my conscious and the fantasy of Xander making me his, in every way possible, takes over.

  First he needs to ditch that freaking shirt.

  If Xander took off that soaking fabric to expose his sculpted abs and bulging biceps, I might spontaneously combust right here. Even without his muscles directly showing, my body flushes with an embarrassing level of arousal. I am extremely turned on by this man.

  As I continue creeping like a stalker, I notice for the first time what Xander is doing. All that noise is from him splitting wood. He is confident and capable with the large axe in his hands. Xander must spend a lot of time cutting up trees and his body is very solid proof of his hard work.

  Xander sets another log up before swinging the axe down in a sharp arc to split it perfectly down the center. The resounding thwack echoes through the trees and I swear it makes the wood beneath my hands vibrate. I watch him repeat this action over and over until I feel embarrassed for leering at him without his knowledge.

  I turn away from the window and glance around the rest of the house. Calling this place a house is actually quite generous. It is definitely more of a cabin and needs serious remodeling. When I came in last night, I couldn’t see much but I could instantly tell the inside matched the crumbling exterior. It looks even more depressing in the light of day.

  The walls are all bare and free of any decorations. There are mismatched pieces of furniture strewn about that look older than my mother. The kitchen is tiny and equipped for only the most basic tasks. The fireplace is a monstrosity and more of an eyesore than anything. I suppose it has the purpose of heating this place up but based off the chill in the air, probably needs to be replaced as well. For now, it couldn’t hurt to add another log to the glowing embers.

  Xander’s bed is the focal point in the entire room and clearly the only thing he took time to pick out. Priorities and all that. I get distracted for a moment imagining his bulky body sprawled out on the unmade sheets. I bet his defined form would look mighty fine lying there. Too bad I’ll never get to witness it. He can’t seem to handle being around me for more than a few minutes without fleeing one way or another.

  The hopelessness crashes down on me and I want to collapse under the overwhelming weight.

  What am I doing here?

  I’ve been trying to resurrect a connection that has been severed for too long. Xander claims he wants to be left alone but I’ve accidently managed to disrupt his solitude. Technically, it isn’t my fault that I’m stuck here but he clearly doesn’t see it that way.

  Now I’m surrounded by his meager belongings after spying on his lumberjack routine. I need to get control over my wacky libido and put thoughts of banging Xander to rest. It’s definitely not going to happen.

  I recall giving myself a very similar speech years ago. The occasion was vastly different but the topic was eerily familiar.

  Wasn’t senior prom meant to be a night to remember? If that was the case, I was being seriously let down.

  First of all, my date was not the guy I wanted to be with. Dave was fine but that was part of the issue. He didn’t give me butterflies or cause me to daydream about our future wedding. Dave was a substitute for the real deal, who happened to be dancing with another girl a few feet away.

  Xander was slowly swaying to the music with Angela snuggled in his arms. Lucky freaking duck. She was clinging to him like a second layer of skin and it drove me bananas. All I could think about was dragging her away by that mop of poorly bleached hair. Gross.

  Obviously, I was crazed with jealousy. Not that Xander would ever know. He wanted to be just friends with me so he could date a bimbo like Angela. I was getting pretty sick of watching their little display of inappropriate affection. Wasn’t there a rule about how much space there should be between dance partners?

  Dave squeezed my palm, which reminded me I’m being extremely rude by completely ignoring him. When I glimpsed up at him, he smiled and I felt even worse. I should try harder with him. He’s a nice, dependable guy. A little boring but that’s all right. Urgh. Even thinking about it made me lose interest.

  Dave moved closer to my side before speaking. “I’m going to grab a soda. Do you want anything?”

  I shook my head and he walked off toward the coolers. My attention refocused on the happy couple still squished together. Thankfully my groan was drowned out by the music. Even though I’m positive he couldn’t have heard me, Xander snapped his head in my direction.

  When he noticed I was alone, he untangled Angela from his body before strolling toward me. A lazy grin lifted one side of his perfect mouth and I got a little light headed from the visual impact.

  As Xander approaches, I got a whiff of his trademark scent and had to clamp my jaw so a moan doesn’t break free. I couldn’t handle this much longer. He wrapped a muscular arm around my shoulder before whispering, “Why are you standing over here alone, Wills?”

  I instinctively melted into him before responding. “Dave is getting something to drink.” I jerked my chin in the direction he went. Xander glanced over his shoulder before invading me with a serious blue-eyed stare.

  Upon hearing my date’s name, I swore Xander’s eyes flashed with something possessive, but that can’t be right. His growly tone increased my suspicions though. “I still can’t believe you’
re here with him. Seriously, Willow? What do you see in him?”

  My defensive hackles rose. “You’re really one to talk, X. Should we talk about your new girlfriend over there? She looks ready to slit my throat based off that death glare she’s sporting.” I chuckled in annoyance as my frustration made my stomach churn. Maybe I should just go home.

  Before I can make a move for the door, Xander yanked me onto the makeshift dance floor. In the next moment, I’m enveloped in his embrace as we start a smooth rhythm. I rested my head on his chest and released a heavy sigh.

  “Angela isn’t my girlfriend.” I could barely hear him, but I made out his grunted words. I angled my face up so I could hear him better. “You could have fooled me.”

  “Don’t be crazy, Wills. You know I wouldn’t date a girl like her.”

  “So you’re just screwing her?” I felt my anger rising again.

  Of course Xander picked up on my mood. “What’s your deal? This is supposed to be a fun night.”

  “I’m crabby and Dave is dull. Being with you is the highlight of my evening.” I realized too late how that last part could be interpreted.

  Xander closed the distance between us so our foreheads touched. Our breath exchanged in the small gap separating our mouths. If I shifted forward a bit, we would be kissing. It seemed like Xander had a similar thought because his ocean irises flashed with awareness. He inched closer and my inaudible gasp escaped. He must have felt my reaction being pressed together so close.

  “I love spending time with you too, Wills.”

  Our almost-kiss fades into the past where it belongs as I flop down into the nearby chair. Reminiscing about Xander being sweet is not helping my case and I need to knock it off. The sooner I can get out of here the better, but there is no way my car is moving without an intervention.

 

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