“I’m sorry, Don,” Dominic mumbles and Pops looks from him to me but before I can apologise Pops starts to speak again.
“Booking and unbooking DJs for our radio shows makes us look like disorganised fools. Engineers walking out on clients in the middle of a studio session to scream at fellow employees makes us look ridiculous and me having to ball you both out makes you both look like twats,” Pops declares whilst walking around the desk to the office door, as he holds the handle he continues. “So, on that note, let’s get back to work and use this afternoon to simmer down, think hard and tomorrow you will come in here, ready to work and prove to everyone why we are considered one of the best in London. Because I won’t have anyone thinking anything else. Are you both listening? Am I being understood?”
He opens the door and indicates we both should use it. I nod at him and walk out silently, trying to make a quick exit. I make a bee-line for the ladies room just a few doors away. Once inside I close the door and lean against it.
Fuck, Pops has never had to open up on me like that before. I feel like shit. I hate to think that I could do anything to disappoint or hurt him and the business. I quickly start to run my wrists under the ice water from the tap in an attempt to cool down. Meeting my reflection in the mirror I see my face is blazing. Is that embarrassment or the effect of Dominic’s words?
He said he wants me! Jesus-titty-christ-on-speed, he does want me!
That is all you have on your mind, Tara Powers? Dominic really has sucked you in, hasn’t he? You’ve just had the bollocking of your life from your boss and you are in here supressing a happy dance because that bone head admitted he wants to rip your knickers off?
And that I drive him crazy!
I argue with myself and press my forehead to the cool glass of the mirror with a sigh. Now you really do have to spend two hours in the same room as him, Tara. Time to suck it up Dis-Diva. I look deep into my own eyes in the mirror and admit to myself that keeping my wits about him is going to be damn near impossible. He just gets too far under my skin, he gets in my head. My best form of defence is to keep my distance physically and try to block him out mentally, as much as is possible anyway.
I remember Lauren and Jay waiting for me in studio one and take a couple of deep and calming breaths to regain some of my equilibrium before I straighten my army style shirt over my stylishly ripped jeans.
Time to get back to work, Tara. You can overthink the shit with you and Dom in your own time.
Late that afternoon I pull up outside the house and take the keys out of the Audi’s ignition. The street is dark and quiet. The silence wraps itself around me and I lay my head against the steering wheel, savouring the peace. My lifestyle forces me to live my life on fast forward. I’m constantly running at 160 beat per minute and I thank my lucky stars that I am still young enough to keep up. I simply cannot imagine living like this when I get to Pops and Val’s age. Days like today leave me bone tired and I find it hard to unwind and slow down my racing thoughts. Not because of the shit with Dominic but because when you have beats pounding in your ears for hours on end and you have to make and collaborate hundreds of different samples and make them all sound as good as I do, it’s no mean feat.
My creative mind loses touch with the conscious world around me and I get into a zone where all thoughts of a rumbling stomach and sore eyes don’t even get registered in my conscious mind, until my body starts to give out on my brain and I’m forced to take a break.
That sounds murderous, but believe me, when you listen back to your work and get the chills all over your body and your hairs stand on end, you know you’re doing an amazing job. That, that is what you pass on to clubbers when you play those tunes at the weekend and the rush they get is returned to you tenfold.
The feeling is addictive in epic proportions, I cannot, and will not, ever, get enough of that adrenaline powered electricity. It’s what I live for and why I work six, sometimes seven, days a week. It’s also why I feel I deserve the admiration from my fan base and why I’m justified in asking for extortionate amounts of money for an hours mix. Because I fucking work hard and I deserve every bit of respect and pay I demand.
After making the most of the few minutes of calm inside the car I go indoors to find Shazza. I’m going to need her to join me at the radio station tomorrow. If I’ve got to go into the lion’s den and spend time after hours in the studio with Dom I’m at least taking reinforcements.
I find Shaz in her bedroom pulling clothes from her wardrobe and tossing them onto her bed. “Having a clear out, Missis?”
Shaz turns and smirks. “Nope. I have a fancy dinner I have to attend tomorrow and I’m desperately trying to find something appropriate to wear.”
“What? No. You can’t go. I need you to endure two hours of Dominic Clayton’s company with me. Don’t leave a sister hanging here, Shaz.”
Shazza looks at me with sympathy and drops the bodycon dress in her hands onto the dressing table. “Aww, babe, I’m so sorry. I really can’t get out of this one. It’s Mum and Dad’s wedding anniversary and they’ve booked a table at a snobby restaurant for the family, I can’t cancel.”
I feel my heart drop a little further into the pit of my stomach. I really am gonna have to go this alone. The exhaustion of the day pulls my mood further into the blue and I give Shazza an understanding look. “No biggie, sweets. I’ll survive one night without my bitch, right?” I try for a smile but my best friend sees straight through it.
“He really is getting to you, isn’t he?”
I shrug and make for the door, needing my bed and some mindless movie. If I’m really lucky my exhausted body will force my brain into a submissive sleep and stop me worrying over tomorrow. I turn on the threshold and Shaz pouts her plump lips at me. “Has it really only been a week since he wrecked my perfect little world?” I ask, feeling as though Dom has had my head in a spin a hell of a lot longer. Shaz doesn’t answer, she just looks at me with eyes full of pity so I head to my bedroom.
I’m slipping into my sleep shorts and an old but super comfy T-shirt when Shaz brings me a plate of hot buttered crumpets and a steaming mug of hot chocolate. My comfort foods. I know my bitch loves me really. I give her a warm smile.
“You’re a star in every sense of the word, Shaz, you know that?”
“Of course I do, but don’t thank me yet, Tara.” Shaz places the tray on my bedside table. “There is an ulterior motive to my actions.” I quirk an eyebrow and climb into bed, Shaz scoots me up and climbs in with me. It would seem she plans on making herself comfortable.
“I know you think you can take on the world, Tara. I take my hat off to you, you really do stop at nothing to get what you want out of life.” She takes my hand and I know I’m in the shit, she wants answers to what exactly is building between me and Dominic. I swallow hard and she presses on. “I’ve never seen you go to pieces around a guy, even in our male dominated industry, you let no man get to you. So what makes Dom-the-dick so special?”
I tip my head back against the headboard and sigh before answering honestly. “I wish I knew, babe. I tried to tell myself it was just his looks and that I would soon get over it. His cock-sure personality really gets on my tits and I could reel a list off of things about him that I dislike. I hate that even my most spiteful words seem to amuse him. I even called him a fucking idiot today but it’s all like water off a ducks back. He is infuriating!” I seethe and Shaz sighs.
“Oh, I hear you, sweetie. Maybe you should take a leaf out of my book and just ignore him, play him at his own game? I think he loves that he gets a reaction from you. It feeds him.”
“I don’t want to play games though, Shaz. You know better than anyone how seriously I take my work. My career is my whole world, I live and breathe music and I work hard. Harder than most. I was getting ahead, enjoying my time at the top, then he crashes into the studio and screws me over.” I grit my teeth but my body can’t even hold a temper for Dom tonight, I’m too tired, and I sin
k further into my pillows.
“Do you think that’s why he gets under your skin so badly? Because he poses a threat? Like, he’s invaded your world and you have no choice but to accept it?” Shaz quizzes me and I mull her question over. Maybe she has a point. I have always been able to choose the people I let into my life and there is a very select few I allow to get close. Is the fact that I can’t force Dominic away the reason I feel so much loathing for him? I mean, yeah, he’s been a pain in the arse to work with thus far but the temper that flares around him seems a little extreme for his actions. Even unjustified maybe. I haven’t cut him any slack whatsoever. But then, he hasn’t made any allowances for me either.
“Maybe you’re onto something.” I admit and Shaz nods, but then seems hesitant to ask her next question, my eyes urge her on. I think this chat is probably helping me address some of the issues I have with Dom and I promised Pops I would work on our working relationship.
“I know there’s a sexual chemistry. It was obvious in both of you from day one. Has he dropped any hints? Things looked a little too close for comfort when I walked in on you Monday morning?” Shaz speaks softly and there, right there, is the reason she toasted me crumpets to soften the blow. I can’t help the twitch at the corner of my mouth when she finally meets my eye. My crazy ass friend, she can party with me like no other, but at times like this, she truly is like the sister I never had.
“Truthfully?” I squeak and I think the blush gives me away before I have even answered. “If it wasn’t for you on Monday, and Pops today, I think he would have kissed me. The sickest part is, I wanted him to, just so I could slap him for it.”
Shaz’s eyes widen but then she seems to lament with me and she pulls me close for a hug. “You really want the bastard, don’t you?”
I lay my head on her shoulder and I swallow a bitter pill. “Like no other bastard I’ve ever met,” I admit and Shaz chuckles making her shoulder vibrate so I lift my head and meet her eye. “I’m in the shit, aren’t I?”
“You are, my sweet little fucked up friend.” Shaz nods with a withering smile. “I’m sorry, Tara.”
“Why are you sorry? You didn’t hire the flaming idiot to work for Xtreem.”
“Because I’ve waited for so long to finally see a guy break down your barriers and get close and now that someone is, I feel guilty for not actually liking the guy,” Shaz giggles and I push her shoulder playfully. “Just think about this before you give in to anything, Tara, we both know he is a male slag. You can do better. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
Very true, Dominic is renowned for the notches on his bedpost and many other unsavoury acts. The chain of thought makes me realise I’ve yet to see him around any women at all since he started at Xtreem. “I appreciate your honesty, babe, but what I really need now is advice. How the hell am I supposed to get through 120 minutes in a studio alone with him without being up on a murder charge?”
Shaz pushes her lips to the side in thought then sighs. “Maybe you should stop fighting your feelings and give the guy a chance? Stop treating him as a threat that you didn’t welcome into your life. Wipe the slate clean and forget his reputation, start again.”
“If only it was that easy. I promised Pops I would try, so I will. I can’t say it’s going to be pleasant though.”
“That’s my bitch. Now eat your supper and sleep. Tomorrow night I want all the juicy deets,” Shaz giggles before hitting play on the first movie she sees on Netflix and turns the light off, making for the door.
“Shaz?” I call and she turns on the threshold with a reassuring smile. “Thanks, babe. I fucking love you.”
“Right back atcha, sugar tits.” She blows me a kiss before dancing off back to her own room and leaving me with some lesbian movie on the TV.
C hapter 5
The chat with Shaz must have helped because I have a pretty restful night and wake up feeling surprisingly calmer about the whole situation. I’m still dreading the radio show tonight but I feel more mentally prepared. A clean slate, right?
The day passes in a blur of hectic sound engineering and mastering Grotzy’s latest track. Pops announces the line up for Xtreem’s birthday bash. It’s a stella line up including Dayton Scott, DJ D, Grotzy, myself and a newcomers room for the second arena full of the best of the up and coming DJs which includes Lauren and Jay of Hot Ice. Lauren made quite an impression when working in the studio with me. I seem to have clicked somewhat with Lauren who seems to marginally outshine Jason in the talent department and massively in enthusiasm. I think I see a little of myself in her. She is ruthlessly determined and doesn’t try to hide the fact she absolutely loves the club scene and hard house in particular. She just has the same love for the music as myself.
When I offer the duo the slot in arena two Lauren is ecstatic. She almost falls over bouncing around the studio reception area!
“I always admired you. I knew I had to work with you, but now I think I love you, Tara! Can I kiss you?” She squeals before throwing herself at me. After catching my balance I laugh and gently hug her back, then I catch Dominic stood in the doorway, watching from a distance. He gives me a genuine, warm smile which I can’t help but return before he goes back to work, seemingly satisfied all the squealing isn’t someone being murdered. Jason on the other hand looks incredibly bored by the whole thing and goes outside to wait in the car.
Shaz takes off early to get ready for Baz collecting her to drive her to her family home. As the hours tick by I get increasingly agitated about the show. Pops must sense this because he calls me through to his office for a coffee and a quick chat before I go on air.
“I know you and Dominic have got off to a rocky start…” Pops starts and I can’t help but interrupting him with a snort.
“That’s like saying Simon Cowells trousers are a little too high. Understatement of the century, Pops.”
Pops chuckles that Dastardly Dog laugh that I love and shakes his head. “Well, regardless of Simon’s tailoring I want to know that when I leave you here tonight I’m not going to return to a crime scene in the morning?”
I sigh and meet Pops’ gaze. He seems genuinely concerned. “I’m sorry, Pops. I mean, what with yesterday, organising the birthday bash and running this place, the last thing you need is drama from the team. I promise to be on my best behaviour.”
“Tara, I know you better than most, probably better than anyone else on the earth, and I know you struggle forming relationships with people. If I genuinely thought Dominic was a bad guy or incapable of running the station I would never have let him in. You trust me and my judgement, right? I’ve never led you astray or offered bad advice have I?”
“Never. I trust you more than I trust myself.”
“So believe me when I say I know Dominic comes with some bad rep, and so do you, but I know you’re both good people and, if given a chance, you could make a damn good team.” Pops offers me a watery smile.
A team? I highly doubt that! “I think the best you can hope for is tolerance, Pops, but I promise to try.”
“That’s all I needed to hear. I know you didn’t wanna go on air tonight but I really do need you to do this live show. I can’t have my cash cow losing air time to a Serious Soundz DJ, specifically Lucy Hart.” he winks and I giggle.
“I see your point. It’s a good job I love you, Pops, because anyone else would get told where to go.”
“I know this, Tara, that’s part of the reason why I love you, too. Now go show Dominic why you are playing tonight’s show and not Lucy. Because you’re better than her.”
I find the door to studio three open and empty. I look around the room, looking over some of the framed pictures on the wall, including a large framed picture with collates all the covers of the tracks that have hit number one in more than one of the EDM charts. I spot my first ever number one cover and the track I recorded plays in my mind.
I move around the room and find a typed up sheet of the playlist of tracks I’m playing tonigh
t that Dominic is going to need to ID all the tunes. I pick it up and find lots of paperwork and notes that Dom has left lying around. I’m absently singing the number one track that’s running through my head whilst having a nosey through his stuff. I don’t realise I’m slowly dancing as I leaf through the notes until I hear someone clear their throat from the door.
I turn with an embarrassed smile to see Dominic leant against the doorframe with an amused grin on his face, his arms crossed over his expansive chest. He looks delicious in a pair of well worn jeans and a black T-shirt.
“I hope you weren’t stood there long?” I ask with colour creeping up my face.
Way to go, Tara. You know why we leave the singing to Shazza? Because you suck at it!
Dom pushes away from the threshold and smirks. “I was there long enough, Tara.” He gives me a teasing wink.
Oh, god, talk about giving him bullets to fire!
“Well, now you know why I don’t claim to be a vocalist. Even Shazza cringes at my shower singing.” I straighten the papers in my hand and hold them out to him. His finger gently grazes mine as he takes them and I quickly pull my hand away at the static charge between our hands. His eyes leap to mine and I know he felt it, too. I turn away and go about turning the equipment on to start my set. Ten minutes and counting until we go live. Dominic clears his throat and turns away, busying himself doing last minute checks to make sure all runs smoothly once we hit the air waves. The silence is far from comfortable and the atmosphere is thick, suffocating, and laden with all that we don’t say to each other.
Disrespectful Diva (DJ Series Book 2) Page 5