by Gray, Sophia
Johnny bristled and I could sense him growing angry. That was bad. Calm, Johnny was a guy you didn’t want to mess with, but angry, he was wild and unpredictable, and made more mistakes than he usually did. I stepped forward. “Look, bitch,” I said. “Just walk away and we won’t stick your ugly little head on a pike.” I tried to keep my voice steady, but knowing that the woman you’re threatening is super-human makes that a difficult thing to do.
She laughed, not taking her eyes off Johnny for a second. “This one has some fire, babe!”
Johnny was about to reply, but then Zoey shot to her feet, pulling out a stake. She lunged at Isadora, who backhanded her without even turning around. Zoey knocked her head on a log and then fell unconscious. I bit down a scream; I couldn’t go to her, not yet. I had to deal with this vampire-whore first. “Johnny,” I said. “Let’s kill her, for your troops, for what she made you do, eh?”
Everything was silent for a few seconds; even the bird’s tweets and the wind’s gusts seemed to pause as Isadora’s smile grew and Johnny started to shake. “Johnny, my dear, what is this boy talking about? Have you been telling fibs again?”
Before I knew what was happening Johnny had dropped his crossbow. He fell to his knees and held his arms up like he was praying. “Oh, my love, why did you leave me?” he said, and it was the voice of a different man, a different Johnny that I had never heard before; usually his voice was raspy and hard, but now it was the whiny voice of a begrudged lover.
“What?” I said.
Isadora laughed again, a high-pitched, aggressive laugh. “Johnny and me used to have fun, didn’t we Johnny?”
He nodded and smiled like an obedient dog.
“But then I got bored of him, didn’t I honey?”
He nodded again.
I turned to Johnny. Despite my best efforts, it was a struggle to keep myself composed and calm. My body had started to involuntarily shake and my mouth had gone dry. “Johnny, what is she talking about?”
He didn’t take his eyes off Isadora for a second. He looked like a man in love, more than in love—he looked like a man who had given his soul to another. “You remember when we met, all those months ago, and I mentioned in passing that I had once had a vampire lover?”
I nodded numbly. I did remember that. It had seemed like a comment of no consequence at the time, just a passing remark that meant nothing.
“Well,” he continued. “This is the lover. There was no Vietnam, just Isadora and me. We’re in love, Ben. Isadora and I are in love, and we’re going to be together.”
My mouth hung open in disbelief. What the hell was he talking about? The man before me wasn’t Johnny; he wasn’t even a man. He was a zombie with no thoughts or feelings beyond those he had about Isadora. A sick thought struck me then.
Was this what I was? Was I a zombie, dumbly following Zoey to a mountain in the middle of nowhere? Did I have my own personality, or was I like Johnny, a lapdog to come when beckoned? It was a frightening thought, and I pushed it away; I wouldn’t pay it any mind. I was what was, and there was no point thinking about it too much.
I pulled the trigger. The crossbow-bolt thrummed through the air. The birds in the trees flew off in a scatter of life as it thumped into my target. Johnny slumped down, staring at Isadora. “No, my love!” he said. “My love!”
I pulled out my knife and walked over to him. The bolt had hit him right where I’d wanted it to: the heart. He was gurgling pitifully. Isadora watched with a smirk on her face as I slit his throat. I kicked him facedown in the dirt, unwilling to look him in the eye.
I reloaded my crossbow as quickly as I could, but even so, Isadora had ample time to kill me. She could’ve jumped across the clearing at any point and stabbed me through the neck, but she didn’t. When I pointed the loaded crossbow at her, her smile grew. “Well done,” she said. “That man was a nuisance, an obedient nuisance, but a nuisance nonetheless.”
I took aim at her heart. It would’ve been so easy; just pull the trigger and she will die, I thought, but then I stopped and looked at her. This was the first time I’d looked at the woman, really looked at her. She was short with brown hair. Her body was full, and the loose-fitting clothes she wore showed parts of it that made my heartbeat flutter. Her smirk, whilst infuriating in a way, also made her look wicked in a different way.
As if reading my thoughts, she strode across the clearing and took the crossbow from my grip. She dropped it on the floor, and I let her. She didn’t kiss me or anything like that, but just took off her clothes. Her body was even better naked than it was clothed, and any doubts I’d had about going through with this disappeared from my mind entirely; I had never been with a woman, so when there was a naked one before me, it was kind of difficult to concentrate on anything else.
I took off my clothes automatically, and then something primal within me awoke and I no longer was myself. I don’t know where this hungry, sexual Ben came from, but Isadora seemed to like it; she smiled and squealed in pleasure as I pushed her onto her back. I slapped her, hard, harder than I’d intended to, and she licked her lips.
I grabbed her breast and dug my nails into it, leaving red marks, and then I started. It was over in less than five minutes. The old Ben would’ve been embarrassed by his first time lasting such a short time, but the new Ben didn’t even care.
Isadora was covered in scratches and bruises, but she didn’t seem to mind. Zoey still lay unconscious just a few yards away from where we’d had sex. Isadora looked up at me, and for the first time she wasn’t smirking, but simply smiling. Her whole face changed; she went from an arrogant killer to a cheerful-looking, beautiful woman. “That was great,” she said.
“Yeah, it was . . .” I said, standing up and walking to my crossbow. I turned my back to her, so that she couldn’t see what I was doing. “It was amazing. You’re so sexy . . .” I loaded the bolt as quietly as I could. “. . . I’d love to do it again.” I turned around and pointed it at her. “But I’m afraid I’m going to have to kill you.” I pulled the trigger.
Her face dropped as the bolt punctured her through the heart. I pulled out my knife and jumped across to her, and stabbed her over and over again to be sure that she was dead. It was strange, but nothing that had happened no longer affected me. Johnny’s lies, killing Johnny, Zoey’s reappearance, sex with Isadora, and now this new killing—I took all of it in coldly, as if checking items off a shopping list. I had become cold and uncaring and capable of doing things I would never have dreamed of only a few months ago, and I had no idea when or how it’d happened.
I searched through my pack. As I did so I caught sight of Zoey. I should’ve been caring for her, making sure that she didn’t have concussion or anything like that, but I didn’t want to. I no longer had the urge to see her again that I had had before. In fact, the idea of seeing her again made me feel a bit sick. What would be the point? We weren’t the same people we once were; that much was clear. What were the chances that we’d get along like we used to? Finally I found the spade and started digging.
It was difficult work, as the ground was hard, but eventually I dug a hole big enough to fit both Isadora and Johnny. I stared down at them as they lay side by side in the grave. I’d thought that vampires might’ve turned to smoke or something once they were dead, but Isadora’s corpse looked like any other corpse: pale and dead-eyed. “Well,” I said as I filled the grave. “We had a good run Johnny, and you really did mean a lot to me. But you fucked up. You let your feelings get in the way, and it cost you your life. I have to thank you, I guess, because you taught me a lesson.” I looked up at Zoey. “I will never let me feelings get in the way.”
After I’d finished the grave I patted down the earth. Grass would grow over it soon, and it would be like neither Johnny nor Isadora had ever existed. I thought that perhaps I would feel guilty, maybe the shock had delayed it and now that they were both buried I’d experience a rush of regret, but I didn’t.
I just felt focused.
I lifted the knife, taking aim at her heart, but then something happened that stopped me. I quickly hid the knife, chucking it into my pile of gear.
She woke up.
#
Ben’s big blue eyes stared down at me. At first my vision was so hazy and my head was pounding so hard that they were the only things I could see, but slowly the world started to appear. Behind him the sky was darkening, coloured orange in the setting sun. A flock of birds flew past, and with my vampire-hearing their squawks were like drum-beats in my head.
The Ben that looked down at me was a different Ben from the one I’d left. His face had matured. Now he had a strong chin and a pointy nose, whereas once he’d looked doughy and childish. His neck muscles were clear, and made him nearly unrecognisable from the skinny little boy he’d once been.
His facial expression, too, was one that I’d never seen before. He’d always looked at me with love bordering on slave-like attentiveness, but now his mouth was set and it was impossible to tell what he was thinking. He seemed to be contemplating something in his mind, but I couldn’t be sure. After a long while he lifted me to my feet. “Z,” he said.
My heart lurched. He’d never called me Z before, and when he did he sounded so similar to Galahad that it was frightening. Suddenly I felt awkward with him, awkward like I had never felt before. I didn’t know what to say, so I just thought of my mission; I still had to kill Isadora, even if my childhood friend had inexplicable turned up. “Where are the other two?”
“Dead,” Ben said, and his voice didn’t sound or angry or regretful; in fact, it sounded dead.
“Oh,” I said. I had to suppress a cry of joy. She was dead! That meant that Galahad and I could get married! Oh, he would be so happy! I wanted to run back and tell him straight away, but I couldn’t; my childhood friend still needed my attention.
“So . . .” I trailed off. What was I meant to say the boy—no, the man—who I had abandoned for a vampire? Did he still love me? Looking at him, it was hard to believe, but then again he’d always loved me. Would that change simply because he had gotten a bit more muscular? I wasn’t sure, and I was surprised to find that I wanted him to still love me. It was childish, I knew, but I couldn’t help it.
“How have you been?” he said, sitting down on a log.
I walked over and sat on one opposite. “Fine, I guess. I’m a vampire now.”
A weird expression came across his face. “I know.”
I didn’t know what else to say. I couldn’t exactly invite him in for a cup of tea, but neither could I just leave him here in the middle of the forest. He’d clearly followed me to the mountain. He’d clearly had something he’d wanted to say to me, so why was she just sitting there silently? “Ben,” I said. “Did you come all this way just to sit there?”
He was silent for a few heartbeats, and then he stood and came over to me. He pulled me to my feet with a strength and conviction that made me forget everything for a few moments. “No,” he said. “I came here for you.” He leaned in and kissed me.
Before I knew what I was doing I was kissing him back. It was a strong kiss, stronger than I ever imagined Ben capable of, and when his hands started to explore my body, I didn’t stop him. Galahad and our marriage disappeared from my mind, and all I could think about was the kiss.
His tongue caressed mine. He wasn’t as skilful as Galahad, and his hands were clumsy, but he was more forceful, and I found that I liked that. He pushed me onto my back almost as if he was attacking me, and I didn’t resist.
He kissed up and down my body as he removed my clothes and then quickly removed his. He was about to begin when his scent drifted up my nose. It was strong, almost suffocating, and set my heart beating wildly. I started to shake and had to bite my lip to stop myself from screaming out, and he smiled; he must’ve thought that I was biting my lip in anticipation.
My mind was becoming cloudy. I felt myself slipping from my own mind and something else struggling to replace me. It clawed at the periphery of my thoughts. Each passing second my heartbeat got louder and my mind hazier, and then I completely disappeared and all I could think about was the smell of his blood and how it would feel as it flowed down my throat.
He parted my legs and was about to lie on top of me, but then I pushed him back. He went flying through the air and landed with a thump and a scream, and I heard myself cackle in pleasure. “Silly boy,” I said, and my voice wasn’t my own. “I don’t want your cock; I want your blood.”
His eyes went wide, but it wasn’t the wide-eyed gaze that he’d had last time I’d tried to feed on him; it was a wide-eyed gaze of focus. He was looking for something. I strode over to him, taking my time. I—the real, trapped me—tried to scream out but the blood-crazed me didn’t care and easily ignored my pleas; she was having too much fun, and was too excited about the meal ahead. “You’re going to taste good, boy.”
“I knew I should’ve killed you before I fucked you,” he said. “You dirty whore. I wish you had never been born.”
Even in my blood-frenzied state that shocked me. I stopped. How had Ben said such a thing? This was Ben, the sweet, harmless boy that had loved and cared for me my entire childhood. Suddenly something came into my mind.
It was the ending of The Knight and the Maiden. I had read it so many times that I knew the quote by heart: And the knight tried to claim the maiden’s heart, but she no longer wanted him. He was angry, nay—furious, with her, and something within him broke. No longer was he the loving man he had once been. He pillaged the land, and raped the women, and stole anything from anyone, and when people called to him, “Sir, you are a knight!”, he said, “Nay, I am a man with no hope, and a man with no hope needn’t be just or righteous; all he needs is to keep moving forward, and if it takes a bit o’ raping or pillaging to keep moving forward, then so be it.”
Was Ben the knight? Had I broken something within him that had deranged him? I tried to claw control back, but the blood-crazed me didn’t even flinch at my efforts. I walked forward towards him, but he moved quicker than I would’ve believed and sprang towards his pile of gear. I jumped after him, but he turned on me with a crossbow. I stopped, growling at him.
The hunger was strong now, and my mouth salivated freely, anticipating the sweet taste of Ben’s blood. He held the crossbow confidently, like a man who knew how to use it. “Walk away,” he said. “Just turn around and walk away.”
“I am going to kill you.”
“I know what’s happening,” he said. “You are under a blood frenzy. Johnny told me about them. I’ll tell you the truth, Zoey; I am going to kill you. I am going to kill every single vampire I see from now on, but this can’t end well for either of us. If you come at me, I’m going to shoot. I rarely miss, so the bolt will kill you, but you’ll get to me before you die and kill me. See, we both lose. Just walk away, and we’ll do this another time. Don’t worry. I’ll follow you. I want to kill that vampire, the one that took you away from me.”
This really shook me. The hunger dulled a little and my head cleared a bit. He wanted to kill me? He wanted to kill Galahad? Who was this monster? He wasn’t the boy who I’d grown up with, the sweet boy who’d loved me. He sounded like a sadistic psychopath. His voice hasn’t changed the whole time he’d been talking; it was as calm and monotone as a man discussing the weather.
He stared at me. Perhaps it was the darkness, or the dull light of the crescent moon, but his blue eyes seemed dimmer and harder than they’d once been. I was shaking, and it wasn’t just with hunger; fear crept up my spine, sending chills all over my body. He would really kill me, I realised. It wa
s more than that. He wanted to kill me.
I hadn’t even been this frightened when I’d followed Isadora. I felt like a naïve little girl, living in a dream world. What had I been thinking, following Isadora like it was a game? She was a killer. Luckily, she had been dealt with for me, but no one was going to save me now except myself.
The hunger dulled even more and the haziness of my mind cleared until I was almost my true self. I found it strange that only a few moments ago I had wanted to make love to this man before me, for that is what he was now—no longer was he my childhood friend; he was a man who was threatening to kill me, and the thought that I had wanted to make love to him made me sick.
The hunger disappeared completely. My mind cleared. I didn’t want this psychopath’s blood.
I bent down and picked up a rock, and launched it with all my force at him. I moved incredibly fast, the fastest I’d ever moved, and he had no time to react. The rock flew through the air and knocked the crossbow out of his hand. He fell to the ground with a wail, and squeezed the trigger of the crossbow as it fell, but the rock had knocked him off balance and the bolt hit the ground.