by Kent, Rina
But here we are and there she is.
Ma belle. My love. My all.
There was a moment in time where I hated myself and took refuge in other people. There was a moment in time where she shunned people and withdrew into herself.
And while sometimes those memories strike again, we don’t run away from them anymore. I take her hand in mine and we talk to Dr Khan, Elsa’s shrink whom she recommended to us.
At first, Teal didn’t really want to talk, but now, she’s even more opened up than me.
We talk about our coping mechanisms. About how she dealt with her trauma and how I dealt with mine.
We don’t judge each other. Fuck anyone who judges how survivors deal with their trauma. Just because some treat it one way doesn’t mean the entire world needs to do the same.
Trauma is a chronic illness that each human being deals with differently. Trauma is a cancer that can eat you from the inside out if you don’t somehow come up with a coping mechanism.
Teal and I might have made mistakes, but that’s how we learnt. That’s how we got to this moment where we become one. Literally and figuratively.
It’s not normal for two young people to get married at the age of twenty, but Teal and I were never the normal type.
We knew that early on and we own up to it. Besides, as she told me, we already know what we want, so what’s the point of delaying it any further?
She has always been mine as much as I’m hers and there’s no force in the world that will change that.
Before Ethan can give her to me, I snatch her close, my impatience getting the better of me. She smiles, her bright dark eyes shining with the motion.
“What do you think?” she whispers.
“I think you’re mine till death, ma belle.”
“And you’re mine, Ronan.”
I kiss her before the wedding even starts. Laughter breaks out in the audience, but I couldn’t give two fucks about them.
All of this is a formality. Teal and I always belonged together.
We just didn’t know it at the time.
Now, we do.
Now, nothing will stop us from owning the world and leaving our gruesome experiences behind.
“I love you, Mrs Astor,” I murmur against her mouth as I pull away.
She smiles in a soft, breathtaking way. “And I love you, Mr Astor.”
10
Cole
Age Twenty-eight
Chaos works in unpredictable patterns.
When I first met it after being kidnapped, I thought something was wrong with me and I needed to hide that something.
Until I walked to that park and saw it again.
Until I witnessed Silver in her truest, rawest form. It was a different type of chaos and I didn’t feel the need to hide.
Not from her.
Never from her.
She’s the one who saw my chaos and took it in both hands as if it was always hers to take.
She’s the one who grabbed me, pushed me onto that bench, and straddled my lap so I wouldn’t leave. Not that I could after that moment.
An invisible thread bound us together and there was no way in fuck anything could break it.
So what if we were siblings at one point? In my mind, she was mine before that even happened.
So what if she was engaged to that fucker Aiden first? It was never real. She and I are. In fact, we always were. It might have started when she cried her glitter tears on me or when she kissed my cheek for the first time or when she saved me all her firsts, just like I saved her mine.
“You didn’t save me all your firsts,” she told me the other day while we were lounging by the pool at her parents’ house.
She was wearing her bikini and I was distracted, thinking of ways to have her remove it, but at the same time, I didn’t want any of the staff to see her naked. I don’t even like them seeing her in her bikini.
I adjusted my shades and tilted my book, Calila e Dimna. It was a special edition paperback she got for me on my birthday after the fucker Ronan burnt my previous one in a fit of jealousy. “Yes, I did.”
“No, you didn’t.” She glared at me, and even though she was wearing huge Chanel shades, I could feel the maliciousness in her blue eyes. “After you kissed me when we were fourteen, you said I wasn’t bad compared to the others.”
I smiled. “You remember that.”
“Of course I do, you wanker. It was my first kiss.”
“It was my first kiss, too.”
“But you said —”
“I only said that because you had your first waltz with Aiden.” My blood still boiled thinking about that. The fucker will pay for it for the rest of his life.
Silver’s lips broke into a smile before she cleared her throat. “You...you’re unbelievable.”
“Is that supposed to be news, Butterfly?”
She removed her shades, revealing those deep blue eyes, then she abandoned her chair and straddled my lap, just like that day at the park. The view from beneath was the same — ethereal and breathtaking.
She slid my aviators away because, as she’s always told me, she likes seeing my eyes — or rather, seeing herself in my eyes.
“So I was your first kiss,” she murmured.
“You were.”
She lifted her chin. “And last.”
“And last.” Then I devoured her until Cynthia joined us and cockblocked me.
She does that occasionally, cockblocks me just to see my reaction, and I do it to her every chance I get whenever she wants alone time with Sebastian.
What? I do hold grudges sometimes.
That’s also why Aiden is my best man today. It’s not because of his skills — which are terrible, by the way — but because I want him to see that Silver is mine. He might have been her fake fiancé at one time, and I can’t erase that; however, I can make him watch me get married to her.
Not that he cares since he has Elsa, but this is a point I need to cement. During those years I thought she was his, I suffered in silence, and I don’t want to ever have those feelings again. The feelings of being pushed into a corner until I couldn’t sleep at night.
My thoughts come to a halt when Silver appears down the aisle, her gloved hand tucked into Sebastian’s arm.
I admire how her wedding dress moulds to her curves as the sand shifts underneath her feet, leaving trails in their wake. My gaze ascends from the bottom to the top until I’m captured by bright eyes. She smiles at me in that shy yet determined way, like she used to do when we were young.
Our wedding is set on a small beach in the same French town where I first kissed her, held her hand, and walked with my palm on her back in front of people.
The first time where we were free, even though we’d suffered the loss of our unborn baby. The first time Silver kissed me without holding back. It was also when we got our tattoos together.
Now, we’re commemorating those moments to memory once again. Only, now, it’s in front of the world. We’ve been public for some time, but the marriage seals the deal once and for all.
It’s been ten years. Ten fucking years since she became mine, and twenty years since I saw her at that park and decided she’d be my chaos.
But that’s the thing about Silver, not only is she my chaos, but she’s also my peace. The home I go back to every day.
We had to keep our relationship a secret for a long time, and while I enjoyed stealing her from the middle of people, tying her up or fucking her in dark corners, I need the world to know the truth I’ve known since I was bloody eight years old.
Silver belongs to me as much as I belong to her.
The fact that I can finally shout it to the world fills me with a strange feeling I’ve never experienced before.
Giddiness? Nervousness?
Or maybe it’s...happiness.
Before Silver, I didn’t know what that word meant. After her, it simply means...my Butterfly. My chaos. My world.
She understands
when I need a challenge and she doesn’t shy away from meeting me head-on. That’s what I love the most about Silver. The fact that she never backs away and never gives up. Actually, she needs the challenge as much as I do, and that’s why she’s the perfect woman for me.
And because she is, I intend to live the rest of our lives proving that fact.
Sebastian kisses his daughter on the cheek before he gives her to me. Her smile is still shy, but those blue eyes? Fuck, how they look at me.
I’m the one who’s obsessed with seeing myself in her eyes, not the other way around. I’m the one who can’t get enough of how they look at me.
“Notice something?” she whispers.
“What?”
“Nothing?” Her lips pull into an adorable pout.
“You should know by now that I notice everything about you.” I motion at her dress’s ribbon with the butterfly brooch on it. “Fucking butterflies.”
“If you call them cockroaches with wings, I’ll kill you.”
I chuckle, tugging her to me because the distance between us is blasphemy. “They’re bright and beautiful and make people happy, just like you, my Butterfly.”
Her cheeks turn a deep shade of red. “Then you’re more important than them, because you make me happy, Cole. You make me so happy.”
“And I will continue to.”
“Are we really getting married?” she whispers. “I still think it’s a dream.”
“Let’s tie the knot here and I’ll show you later whether or not it’s a dream, Mrs Nash.”
Her lips part and the urge to devour her hits me, so I do just that. I tie our own knot before anyone else can do it.
I’m hers.
She’s mine.
III
The Honeymoon
11
Astrid
“I can’t keep up.” I laugh as Levi takes my hand while we run through the rain.
Even though we always do this and I’ve gotten kind of used to standing under the rain when I’m in his company, I really can’t keep up with his long athletic legs.
He’s a football player, after all, and I still have no tolerance for physical activity, no matter how much Levi tries to implement that in me.
He stops, his fingers still intertwined with mine, and faces me, panting.
We’re in Vegas.
No kidding.
When I told Levi the story about how my parents got married here and that I would love to visit it one day, he surprised me with a honeymoon in Vegas.
Sin City has never looked more sinful than when Levi is staring down at me with those deep blue eyes. His wet blond strands fall haphazardly across his forehead, shadowing his angular features and sharp jaw.
We’ve been here for a few days, and each one feels like a piece cut from paradise. I’m still not used to the fact that this man, who’s the embodiment of a strong Viking, caring and protective, is actually my husband.
The dreamy days we’ve spent here, walking around and fucking in every corner, haven’t helped, because since the wedding, I haven’t had a chance to stop and soak in the fact that I belong to him as much as he belongs to me. That I’m now Astrid Elizabeth Clifford King. And my full name, although long as hell, is the best form it could ever be.
I haven’t gotten the chance to watch him fall asleep and count his eyelashes or spy on him so I can sketch him later on.
Every day, he exhausts me to the point that I sleep in his arms like a kitten and only get up so he can whisk me off to a different adventure. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a casino, a restaurant, or the underground clubs where he can have me all for himself in dimly lit corners.
“Come on, Princess.” He grins down at me, cradling my cheeks in his big hands, and tips my face up until my entire surroundings are filled with his presence. “Is that all you got?”
Despite our height difference, I get closer and run my fingers through his hair, submitting the golden strands to order. I’ve always loved the colour of his hair, and it’s not just because he looks like a Viking. It’s the only colour that would suit him. Although the other King men, Jonathan and Aiden, have dark hair, Levi has a light shade, and that alone shows how special he is. He’s cut from an extraordinary cloth to be solely mine.
“I miss you,” I murmur.
Still clutching my cheeks, he taps my nose with his thumb. “I’ve been here the entire time.”
“I miss you, even when you’re close. That’s crazy isn’t it?”
He shakes his head once. “I’m the same. I miss you when I can’t breathe you. When I can’t hear your voice or touch you. I miss you when I think I have to leave you.”
“Levi…”
“So don’t let me miss you. I turn grumpy as fuck when I do, and that’s not good for anyone who’s near me at the time.”
“I won’t if you don’t let me miss you.”
“That’s out of the question. Not even when you’re old and grey and sick of me, Princess.”
I stare at him through my vision that’s blurred by the rain. “I’ll never get sick of my husband.”
His grin widens until a spark lights up the deep blue of his eyes. “I like that.”
“How I won’t get sick of you?”
“That, too, but also the part where you call me your husband, wife.”
“I like it, too.”
He leans over and brushes his nose against mine. “I guess this means I need to consummate our marriage.”
“You already did. Multiple times.”
“Multiple times, huh? Have you been counting, Princess?”
“As if I could ever keep up.” My cheeks heat, recalling all the positions he took me in. “You fucked me everywhere.”
“Not under the rain.”
And with that, he lifts me in his arms. I squeal as he runs with me wrapped all around him.
My fingers grip his shoulders tight as I laugh with utter delight.
Best honeymoon ever.
12
Elsa
When Aiden mentioned that Jonathan owned an island, I thought he was kidding.
Far from it.
I should’ve known that my father-in-law, Jonathan King, is more than capable of owning an island. It shouldn’t even have come as a surprise.
It’s where we opted to spend the honeymoon, and I have no doubt that this is another of Aiden’s methods to have me completely for himself.
Not that I’m complaining.
During the wedding preparations, I barely got a glimpse of him. I was always surrounded by Kim, Teal, Astrid, Knox, and even Silver, who helped me with picking the dress.
The fact that Kim forgave her didn’t leave me any reason to stay mad at Silver. Especially after the drunken talk we had one night about all that happened during Royal Elite’s final years.
Silver only ever had eyes for Cole, and my jealousy of her was uncalled for. Seems like Aiden isn’t the only possessive one with an irrational streak. Besides, I still feel bad for hitting her that time at Aiden’s house when she never attacked me.
After I found out that she suspected she was pregnant at the time, I apologised and she apologised for everything else — especially for turning her back on Kim, despite secretly checking in on her.
Since then, Silver and I have belonged to the same circle of friends. We have Teal and Kim in common, after all.
So because of the lively atmosphere during the wedding preparations, I didn’t really get my fill of Aiden. And the girls spent the night before the ceremony with me so that he couldn’t sneak in and see me before the big day.
Not that it stopped him. He stood under my balcony and sent me a few texts that made me grin like an idiot.
Aiden: Last night apart, sweetheart.
Elsa: We already live together.
Aiden: Doesn’t count. You don’t have my last name.
Elsa: Is that important?
Aiden: Fuck right, it is. You’re officially mine, sweetheart, and you won’t leave my sid
e like you did when we were eight.
Elsa: Aiden...I didn’t remember at the time. Are you going to hold a grudge about that for eternity?
Aiden: I will never hold a grudge against you as long as you’re by my side, sweetheart.
I went to sleep with a smile on my face at his words. In a way, I knew Aiden didn’t like that I forgot about him, and because it still hurts him in some way, I’ll spend the rest of my life purging that pain away.
Just because he’s some sort of a sociopath doesn’t mean he doesn’t get hurt. It only means that he chooses different methods to act upon it.
Currently, we stand at the top of a waterfall, overlooking the most hypnotising turquoise sea I’ve ever seen.
The water cascades down below, meeting the surface with a sploosh.
“Whoa.” I snap pictures from all different angles. “This is mesmerising. Who knew Jonathan has such good taste.”
“He doesn’t.” Strong arms wrap around my waist from behind as Aiden rests his chin at the top of my head. “He won it over poker.”
“Still, he owns it.”
“Which means I own it, too.”
I smile, still snapping pictures. Aiden doesn’t like me expressing awe towards anyone, even if it’s his forty-four-year-old dad. Not that I would ever get close to Jonathan. He’s still terrifying as hell and he very much holds a grudge against my dad — and me, by extension.
Aiden snatches my phone away and throws it on top of the small bag we brought with us for the hike.
“Hey!” I turn around against his chest. “I was using that.”
“Not anymore.” His expression remains the same. “Besides, are you here for the pictures or for me?”
“The pictures.” I hide my mischievous grin. “Definitely the pictures.”
“You’re playing with fire, sweetheart.”
I stare up at his deep grey eyes and his angular features that only keep sharpening over time. The Aiden from Royal Elite School might’ve been handsome, but now, he’s lethal. Knowing that he’ll probably grow up to have the merciless beauty of his father, I can’t help but feel giddy to be with him every step of the way.