“You have something to say, say it,” I stated dryly.
“Kyle and Kennedy are five, add nine months for pregnancy and that’s almost six years.”
I rolled my eyes. Joshua loved beating around the fucking bush. He knew as well as I did the reason I touched alcohol that night six years ago was the same reason I was drinking yet again that night. One woman. Patience.
“It must be bad. You’re drinking a fourteen-thousand dollar brand of bourbon.” He looked toward the twenty-five year old Rip Van Winkle bottle.
“I told my wife I love her,” I confessed.
Josh raised an eyebrow.
“She didn’t say it back.” I sighed, and ran a hand through my hair, feeling foolish. I was never this goddamn insecure.
I stood, peering at Joshua at the same time he let out a low whistle.
He shrugged. “What’d you expect?”
I shook my head and moved to the window. He was right but I wasn’t in the mood to admit it out loud. What had I expected? For her to open her heart to me again after it was crushed the first time? Yes. Selfishly, that’s exactly what I’d expected.
“She’s the puzzle piece I never knew was missing until it arrived,” I stated, staring out of the window, my back to Joshua. “She calms me and makes me feel invincible, all at the same time. Do you have any idea what that’s like?” It was a rhetorical question. I didn’t expect my brother to answer. He surprised me when he returned with…
“Yeah, I might have an idea of what that’s like.”
I turned, gaze narrowed, and stared at him. His brows were knitted, eyes staring at the floor in front of him, a frown marring his features. I’d seen that look in the mirror many a night after Patience and I separated, and in the intervening years. It was the look of a man missing his other half. My heartstrings tugged.
Joshua lifted his head, noticing me staring at him. He schooled his face just before rising from his chair.
“But you have her here, now. You’re married and you two have two beautiful children…don’t fuck it up by rushing her,” he warned, his voice deepening.
I actually felt the left side of my face kick up into a semi-grin. By all accounts, Joshua may appear to be rather lighthearted and easy going, but that’s because most people don’t get to see this side of Joshua. Save for the boardroom, he rarely showed his ruthless side to outsiders. But he is a Townsend through and through. We all have our less-than-innocent streak. Joshua was no different.
“Don’t tell me how to handle my fucking wife,” I growled for good measure. Dark side or not, Joshua could go fuck himself if he thought he could tell me how to handle Patience.
A smirk creased the hard lines of his face. “Just a little friendly advice.” By then he’d moved past the desk, to pat me on the shoulder.
“Fuck off,” I grunted.
Josh chuckled. “I’ll just take this off your hands.”
I peered over my shoulder to see him reaching for the bottle of bourbon. I grunted. He can fucking take it. “Tell the boys down at the club you fight at to enjoy it.”
“You kidding? Those assholes wouldn’t enjoy good bourbon if it bit them in the ass. I’ll keep this for me.”
I lifted my shoulder in a shrug before turning back to the window. I heard my office door open and close as Joshua departed. Sighing, I turned back to my desk to finish up the work I was supposed to be completing. However, my thoughts kept drifting back to my wife. I’d told her repeatedly that I’d loved her. And though her eyes lit up and she bit her bottom lip as she spasmed around my cock, from my words alone, it still clawed at me that she hadn’t said the words back. Deep down I knew why. She was afraid. She had a right to be considering what happened after the first time she’d said those words to me. I told myself I wouldn’t push. I’d give her time. Just not too long. I wanted…no, needed all of her. Body, mind, and soul. I was that selfish.
****
Patience
For the next week I was reduced to wearing scarves or using makeup to cover the marks left by Aaron on my neck. I was amazed at how his passion showed up on my body.
I woke up the following Tuesday morning to an empty bed. That wasn’t unusual, seeing as how Aaron was such an early riser. He and Kyle were usually down in the den working out and then going over Kyle’s readings and studies for the day. Every now and again I would peek in on the two. It warmed me all over to see how gentle and loving Aaron was with Kyle. Our son blossomed under his father’s care. The boy who hated to even say his ABC’s, wouldn’t hesitate to try to read a word out loud or recite new words he’d learned. Unfortunately, Kyle was still more shy around Kennedy and I when it came to reading but he was coming around and so much more quickly than I’d thought was possible.
When I got up to go see if Kennedy was awake and start breakfast, I found Kyle looking forlorn in the hallway.
“Hey, buddy. Where’s Daddy?” I asked, brushing a stray curl out of his face.
Kyle’s little shoulders rose and fell. “I don’t know.”
I gave him an odd look. I guessed Aaron must’ve had to leave early for work that day instead.
“Well, how about you come help Mommy cook breakfast?”
“Okay,” he agreed, but his usual enthusiasm wasn’t there.
On our way down, I tried to explain to Kyle that his father had a big, important job and sometimes that meant he wasn’t going to have as much time to spend with him as he’d like. I think he understood, but the sad look in his hazel eyes told me he still hated it. I bit back my own anger at Aaron. The least he could’ve done was told Kyle he wouldn’t be able to work together that morning.
I fixed a breakfast of pancakes, sausage, and fruit before telling Kyle to go upstairs and wake his sister. A few minutes later the pair were barreling into the kitchen ready to eat. It was the first time in a long time that it was just the three of us for breakfast. Though I’d always loved the days when the three of us would eat breakfast together, without Aaron there, something felt like it was missing.
The children ate and then I sent them upstairs to brush their teeth and get dressed while I took a quick shower and prepared myself for work. We were having preschoolers from Excelor Academy come over for story-time that day. I loved reading to children that young. Though Kyle and Kennedy were still young, it made me yearn for the days when they were babies or toddlers. They were so much more independent now than they had been just a few years prior. It felt like forever ago. I pressed my hand to my belly, remembering Aaron’s words the almost week and a half prior. I wanted more children as well.
I stepped into the doors of the library, shaking my head to ward off those thoughts. I was angry at Aaron for standing Kyle up that morning. I didn’t need to think about bringing any more children into the picture until he understood that he couldn’t drop our children whenever work got busy.
“Morning, Patience.” Moira smiled as I stuffed my shoulder bag behind the front counter.
“Morning. What’re you reading?” I inquired, stepping closer to look down at the book she was thumbing through.
“It’s a book on Mandarin. One of our members ordered it from the main library.”
“That’s interesting.” I continued to look at the integral shapes and symbols that formed words in Mandarin.
“Look, there’s your name,” Moira laughed, pointing to one of the symbols.
My eyebrows dipped as I stared at the symbol. “That’s the Mandarin word for Patience,” I stated disbelievingly.
“It is. Beautiful, isn’t it?”
I swallowed, nodding my head. It was also familiar. I’d seen that symbol everyday since Aaron had been back in my life.
“Look. The Mandarin symbol for patience is made up of two separate symbols, one of which means the blade of a knife, and the other means heart. This symbolizes how difficult it is to practice patience…” Moira read the meaning behind the symbols. “They’ve got that right,” she mumbled. “Patience is hard as hell to practice s
ometimes, especially with some of the patrons that come in here.” She giggled.
I swallowed down the lump in my throat and threw a smirk her way. My mind was far past thinking about any of the library’s patrons. But I pushed away those thoughts. Thankfully, Moira soon closed the book and moved on to discussing our schedule for the day and what needed to get done. I retrieved the cart that held the returns and began organizing them to place back on the shelves. The morning went rather quickly, and ended with the visit from the preschoolers.
That afternoon a group of teens from one of the local public schools piled in after having a half day, many of whom needed to conduct research for a project. I was surprised at this day and age many teens even still used the library for research, but then I was informed that the teachers had required at least two books for this particular project. That reminded me to bring up an idea I’d been thinking of to Moira.
I thought it’d be a good idea for the library to host a tech and research series, open to the public but geared to many of the underserved pre-teens in the city. I told her of a similar series I’d been a part of while living in Oakland, where the tech gap continued to grow between the underserved and the more privileged students. She agreed to look more into it if I presented her with a put-together proposal. I planned on putting one together over the next few evenings.
I left work that day feeling accomplished, and as if I was doing some good for the community. Helping people, especially young children, discover a love of reading was my passion. It weighed on me incredibly heavy when I couldn’t do the same for my own son. But seeing his growth under his father’s tutelage quickly pushed those feelings aside. The reminder of that thought, sparked my anger again at Aaron. I’d sent him numerous texts throughout the day, and called at least twice but to no avail. Usually, he responded within a few minutes of a text. I knew he was okay, lest I would’ve heard from one of his security, or Joshua who worked with him daily. I figured I’d just take it up with him later that evening after the children were asleep.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Patience
“Kyle and Kennedy, you two go wash your hands for dinner,” I stated, standing at the doorway of the children’s playroom. “Hey, you two, you hear me?” I questioned with a little more force in my voice when neither one of them moved from the children’s table that sat in the center of the room.
I walked over to the table, and wasn’t surprised to find Kennedy with her head in a book. She, like myself, could become so completely absorbed in a book that the people around us disappeared.
“Ken,” I brushed a hand over her shoulder, “go wash your hands for dinner,” I said again, pulling the book from her hands.
“Kyle, you–” I stopped when I realized that he was just as intent on what he’d been doing at the table as Kennedy had been. However, instead of reading, he was actually writing. “What are you making?” I questioned, stooping low next to Kyle.
He looked up at me with the biggest smile on his face. “I’m making Daddy a card for his birthday!” His hazel eyes shone bright with excitement, the type that only occurs when you get to be the one to do something special for your real life superhero.
I wrinkled my brows. “Kyle, it’s not…” I trailed off, trying to remember today’s date in my head.
“November thirteenth,” Kyle and I said together.
I squeezed my eyes tightly, slapping my hand against my forehead. “I’m an idiot!” I gritted out.
“Don’t say that, Mommy! It’s not nice.”
I blinked my eyes open to see a frowning Kennedy standing over me.
I grabbed her hand. “I’m sorry, baby. You’re right. I shouldn’t have called myself that. Mommy just made a mistake.”
“I make mistakes during my studies, too, but Daddy says everyone makes mistakes and that as long as I learn from them, it’s okay,” Kyle informed me.
I tweaked his nose. “Your daddy’s a smart man.”
Kyle nodded in agreement. “That’s why I’m making him the bestest birthday card ever! You like it, Mommy?” He held up the colorful card he’d designed by himself. My heart melted at the sight of the first card my son had ever made. He’d hated writing anything that wasn’t completely pictures.
I went to stand, but something made me stop. “Kyle, how did you know November thirteenth was Daddy’s birthday?” I knew Aaron hadn’t told him.
Kyle shrugged with one shoulder. “A lady told me,” he answered, casually.
“What lady? Your teacher?”
He shook his head. “No. She’s invisible. Only I can see her.”
“Ky–”
“Mooommy, I’m hungry!” Kennedy began whining before I could question her brother any further. I stood, still staring at Kyle finishing up his birthday card.
“Okay, sweetie, give me a minute,” I told Kennedy, who was tugging my hand.
I went to my room to grab my cell phone. I needed to leave the house, but also had to find a sitter for the children. Carter and Michelle were at her mother’s for the evening. Aaron’s parents were out of town, as was Joshua. That left me with only one person left to call.
“Hey, Ty.”
“Patience? What’s up?” my youngest brother-in-law asked.
“Listen, I need you to babysit for a few hours.”
“Woohoo!” I heard his clap through the phone. “’Bout time that brother of mine got off his high horse about me watching the kids.”
“Aaron’s not exactly here right now,” I explained, while bringing the children’s plates to the table.
“Where is he?”
“Out.”
“Out?”
“It’s November thirteenth.”
“Shit!” he cursed. “No wonder Father took Mother on that unexpected trip. She always smothers him on his birthday.”
I bit my lower lip. “Can you be here in fifteen minutes?”
“I’ll be there in ten,” he agreed.
I hung up and impatiently waited for Tyler to arrive. Once he did, I grabbed my bag, the card Kyle made, gave the children each a kiss, and was out the door. I started for my Honda CR-V that I’d had shipped from Oakland—the car I rarely got to drive these days—but was stopped.
“I’m sorry, ma’am, I can’t let you do that.”
I turned to see Daniel staring down at me. “Do what?”
“I’m under strict instructions from Mr. Townsend to take you anywhere you want to go.”
I sighed. “Daniel, this is my car. I don’t need you to–”
He shook his head. “I’m sorry. Boss’ orders.”
“Fine,” I conceded, not wanting to waste any more time arguing. I still couldn’t believe I’d spent the entire day angry at Aaron, forgetting that this was the one day of the year he needed the most support. Even though, he might not realize it. He always was isolated on his birthday. Well, he wasn’t about to do that shit anymore. Like it or not, he had a family now. One that wouldn’t let him run away from his past.
****
It took twenty minutes to get from the house to Townsend Industries. I knew this was where he’d be, working himself to the bone to push out any and all memories. I had Daniel drop me off at the front entrance of the building. Unfortunately, it was close to eight o’clock and the front of the building was locked. I opted to walk to the end of the block where I could enter the building from the garage.
As I rounded the building and made my way into the concrete garage, I saw that most of the spaces were empty. Everyone had obviously gone home for the evening, and the few cars that remained belonged to owners of nearby condos. I walked to the far end of the garage where the elevator stood; my heels against the cement were the only sound that could be heard. Suddenly, my hear rate quickened and an ugly, familiar feeling skittered down my spine. I clutched the bag I carried over my shoulder tighter to my side, and looked around. Again, all I saw were a few cars but nothing out of the ordinary. But that nagging feeling of being watched returned. The sa
me eerie sensation I’d had in that bathroom stall in the park a month earlier returned.
I stopped walking, doing a full three-sixty turn to observe my surroundings. “Hello?” I called out.
“Mrs. Townsend?”
“Ahh!” I screamed. Before I could fumble for my keys that held my pepper spray on the chain, I realized who had called my name. “James!” I breathed, holding my hand to my chest, trying to catch my breath.
“I’m sorry, ma’am. Didn’t mean to frighten you. I was doing my rounds,” the security guard explained.
“No, don’t be sorry. I’m here to see my husband.”
James nodded and walked with me to the elevator, punching in the code that took me directly to the floor of Aaron’s office. Once the doors closed, I inhaled deeply, shaking off that creepy feeling, and forced myself to remember I was safe. The day wasn’t about me. I needed to focus on Aaron.
When the elevator doors opened, I stepped out into the empty lobby. The lights were low but I could see light coming from farther down the hall where Aaron’s office was located. I pushed through the glass doors and walked steadily in the direction of the light. His door was partially ajar, and I pushed my way in.
His head turned in my direction and my heart dropped to my knees. His eyes were dark, but not like when we were intimate, or when he was angry. They were darkened by the memories he’d been trying to fight off.
I chose to leave the lights low. His scowl deepened the closer I moved to his desk. I placed my bag next to his desk on the floor and moved files and papers aside. I pushed up on my arms, planting my bottom on his desk, next to him in his office chair. He sat back, staring at me, wordlessly. Leaning forward, I reached out and ran my fingers through his dark, silky hair.
“Poor you,” I cooed, “you’ve been fighting demons all day.”
****
Aaron
My eyes drifted shut and for the first time that day the memories hadn’t come rushing back. All I felt at that instant was my wife’s hand stroking my hair. I had indeed been fighting demons all day. It was what I did on my birthday. I fought them, alone. Pushing through and using work as a distraction.
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