by Owens, C. M.
Chapter Nine
Getting Physical
Ashiara
“I can’t get over how absolutely adorable he is,” Shannon gushes.
“I know. He’s amazing,” I murmur softly while staring down at my three-week-old son.
“I have to take him to Melanie's this weekend. Right now, we’ve got a doctor’s appointment. He’s had a rash I need to get looked at.”
“Any chance the father of the baby is ever going to know he’s the father?” she asks curiously, prying as usual.
“Not likely. Besides, Tag doesn't want a kid or need a kid in his life. He knows it. One day he might thank me for this.”
“Or hate you,” Shannon murmurs under her breath, making me tense all over.
“He already hates me. You should have seen the look in his eyes the night I told him Trip wasn’t his.”
“Trip is an odd name for a little boy.”
The night Tag landed in the fountain flashes through my mind. It was an adorable trip that humanized him.
“I think it’s cute. So, what time is Billy coming to pick you up?”
“Any minute now. What time are you going to be back? I don’t like you being off without your bodyguards.”
“There haven’t been any calls, notes, or flower arrangements for a while. This creep just stops and starts. He’s apparently grown bored with tormenting me now. Have you met Melanie or Wren yet?”
“No. Billy and I are playing this really slow. Right now, it’s nothing serious. I haven’t even mentioned it to my parents - that’s how slow we’re taking it.”
“Well, I for one think you two are perfect for each other.”
Her long, red hair swishes as she drops her head back and smiles in delight.
“We’ll see,” she says.
***
Ashiara
“Well, Ash, I think he’ll be just fine. Just change his diaper brand and see if that helps. I’ll see you next week for the checkup.”
I nod as I walk out to the almost dark streets. The car-seat weighs more than Trip, and I’m struggling to carry it down the street. I don’t know why I didn’t grab the stroller.
I’ve lost too much weight, and I barely have any strength these days.
That’s what happens when your life gets as fucked up as mine has. I'm still head-over-heels for a guy who is the father of my son, but he isn’t ready to be a father or a boyfriend.
Sheesh. Daytime television doesn’t have shit on my drama.
The walk to the car is exhausting and long, but there weren’t any other parking spaces available. I smile in relief when I finally see my car, and I quickly fasten Trip in before walking around to my side of the vehicle.
Just when I’m about to open the door, I feel a sharp, piercing pain in my side, and I look down to see blood dripping.
I never heard the gunshot or the glass shattering. All I can hear now is the sound of Trip crying as I turn to see a short, hooded figure running away - gun in hand.
***
Tag
“The baby is doing great, in case you were wondering,” Bity says as he props up against my desk.
“Why would I be wondering?” I mumble while feigning disinterest.
The truth is, I’ve been scraping together every bit of information I can about Ash and baby Trip. He might not be mine, but I’m seriously considering going to her. The jerk who knocked her up and left her alone needs his ass kicked.
I’m still just as obsessed, and she’s going to need someone to be there for her. She shouldn’t have to raise him on her own the way Melanie had to raise Bity and Wren - and me, for that matter.
“I think Ash is getting too skinny. She hardly eats, and I think it’s because she misses you.”
“Me?” I scoff in disbelief.
I wish that was true, but if she wanted me, she knows she can have me. That’s the only reason I haven’t gone to her. I know she’ll push me away.
I finally fucking fall for someone, and she doesn’t want me. If she cared about me the way I do her, she wouldn’t have ended up in another’s arms the night after she left Wren’s wedding.
“Yeah, you. Tag, you should know something. As much as I used to hate you, I’ve gotten over it. You’re different.”
“As are you,” I murmur, still trying not to let him see the pain I’m suffering through without her.
“Look. The thing is, Trip-”
His phone rings, and he glances down to pull it up curiously.
“Am I running late?” he asks to whoever is on the other line.
He grows deathly silent, no breaths even falling out. I look up to see all the color has been drained from his face, and his jaw has fallen unhinged.
“What?” I prompt as he drops the phone from his hand.
“It’s Ash. That son of a bitch shot her.”
I don’t know what hurts worse - my heart or my hand after my fist breaks through the wall of my office.
“Where is she?”
“Mom’s.”
Melanie's? After being shot? Why the hell isn't she in a hospital?
***
Ashiara
“Shannon, it’s just a graze. He missed all the good stuff and just barely got my side. I bleed easily, so that’s why there’s so much blood at the scene. I swear I’m okay. Stop worrying," I say over the phone.
I'm so exhausted right now. Between the police reports, the quick move to Melanie's, and the hospital visit, this night has sucked ass.
“Stop worrying?” she shrieks in disbelief. “That son of a bitch just tried to kill you. If he wasn’t a sucky shot, you’d be dead!”
I sigh as I step out of the Princess room where Trip’s crib safely tucks him away.
“Look, I’m fine. I’m at Melanie's, and I’m perfectly safe. She has a lot of security on staff because of her own safety reasons. That’s why I came here. I’m going to stay here until they catch him. The cops are taking it a little more seriously now.”
“It’s about damn time. Where’s Melanie?”
“She’s in New York right now. She was in the middle of a big deal when I called her. She doesn’t know I was shot. I just asked her if I could crash here for a while. You haven’t told anyone, have you?”
“Just Billy. Sorry, I sort of freaked out.”
Crap. My head drops back in exasperation.
“It’s fine. Just get some rest. I’ll be okay. I swear, the president secretly lives here because the security is so tight.”
“Good. Stay safe. Love you, girl.”
“Love you.”
As I put the phone away, I hear the sound of voices chattering downstairs. I'm sure it's just the staff, but I go to investigate anyhow.
Eduardo greets me with a smile and hands me a tray of delicious food.
“You need to gain weight, Miss Ashiara.”
I smile lightly, and then I hear a warm, familiar voice.
“Yes she does.”
“Hey, Billy,” I murmur while turning around, but my heart slaps my feet when I see Tag right behind him.
“What… um… hey.”
His face is stoic, giving nothing away as his entourage of black suits come to follow behind him.
“Come on. You’re going to stay at my place. I have just as much security, and I’ve set up a room for Trip,” Tag asserts while sending men up the stairs to my room.
I rush in behind them to grab my baby up with a swift, protective motion. Tag follows as the men start tossing all my stuff into suitcases.
“Tag, I’m not going with you.”
“It wasn’t a request. You’re not staying here. Melanie's house is wonderful, but there are too many gaps here for someone to slip in unnoticed. You’re coming to my place, and that’s final. I’ll carry you kicking and screaming if I have to.”
Shit. Shit. Shit. Think. Think. Think.
“The cops are on their way to talk to me some more. I can’t go.”
His stern, take-no-shit face stays intact
.
“I’ve already called them and told them to meet me at my place. I also told them to be prepared to be thoroughly interrogated before they make it to my door. From now on, you don’t go anywhere without an escort.”
Has he lost his damn mind?
“Tag, you can’t tell me what to do.”
He takes a step dangerously close to me, his eyes determined, his lips tensed.
“Watch me.”
***
Tag
After a long, silent ride, we pull up to my house. Two dark suits walk toward me, and then they motion to the box to tell the man to open the gate.
“You really do have a lot of security,” Ash murmurs from the backseat as she strokes her son’s head.
I just want to hold her and tell her everything is going to be okay. I had to tell her I didn’t think Melanie's house was fortified enough to keep her safe just to bring her home with me.
“You haven’t seen the half of it.”
She forces a smile, and I look away from the rearview mirror as we pull up in front of the house. Seven men rush out to investigate the premises as I open the back door and lift the car-seat.
“I can get him,” she murmurs while strapping the diaper bag on.
“You look like you can barely hold yourself up, let alone a car-seat that weighs at least thirty pounds. Has this creep stressed you out so much that you can't eat? Why didn’t you tell me he was bothering you again? I could have had Gary and Leo come back to your place.”
“He hasn’t bothered me in a while. Today was the first time he’s done anything since before the benefit.”
“Then why have you lost so much damn weight?” I scold.
She looks away, her eyes refusing to meet mine.
“I’ve just been dealing with a lot.”
My eyes soften as I push my hand against the small of her back to lead her inside. I’m sure it’s not easy to be a single mother.
Her mouth falls open as she stares around at the lavish surroundings no other girl has ever seen - well, no other girl I’ve been with, rather. Melanie has seen my place, but she doesn’t count.
“Wow. I see now why you don’t take girls home. They might not want to leave,” she gushes.
That makes me almost smile, but my nerves rattle, too.
“Thanks,” I say with an uneasy tone as I lead her down to the living area.
Even too skinny, she’s still the most captivating girl I’ve ever known.
***
Ashiara
I almost cry when I see the play pin, crib, and various other things set up. Not to mention, he has baby proofed the house. Trip can’t crawl yet, so he went overboard with the baby gates placed in front of the fireplace and guards over the sockets. It’s sweet though.
“You weren’t kidding when you said you were prepared. Hell, your house is better equipped for a child than anything I've ever seen.”
He laughs lightly, and then he shrugs.
“I don’t know how long it’ll take to find this guy, and you’re staying here until we do. So, for now, just get used to calling this home. Don’t feel uncomfortable, please. You can go anywhere you want to in the house, and I’ll give you the security codes.”
Home with Tag.
It sounds so good. It almost feels like we’re the family he doesn’t know we are. I smile as he unfastens Trip and pulls him into his arms. He grins as Trip’s lips bubble, and tears fall free from my eyes upon witnessing the moment I’ve only dreamed about - Tag holding his son.
“He’s cute. He’s a hard sleeper, too,” he says while sitting down with him in his arms.
“You look like you know what you’re doing. I was an awkward mess in the hospital when I had him. Sadly enough, he’s the first baby I’ve ever held.”
Tag smiles, and then he looks up at me.
“I go to the children’s hospital every year at Christmas to pass out gifts to the kids who wouldn’t get anything otherwise. Most of their families are broke from the outrageous prices they have to pay for cancer treatments. In return, I usually get to hold a baby or two.”
More tears water up in my eyes. How can this incredible man say he isn’t father material? He’s more father material than most father’s I’ve met. Do I just tell him? Can I tell him? He could be a good dad.
But would he want to be? I couldn't bear Trip feeling unwanted or unloved.
“Um, can I use your bathroom?” I ask while fighting off the floodgates.
“Don’t ask to use anything, please. I told you - my house is your house. The closest one is in your room - through the double doors over there.”
My room?
Hell. I don’t know why, but I assumed he would only have one room, and I was secretly hoping I’d be sharing a bed with him.
I nod, and then I head through the doors quickly before I fall apart. As it all catches up to me, I slide down the wall and sob silently in the dark.
***
Tag
Staring down at Trip, I think of all the times I’ve almost begged Ash to be with me. Now, I want it even more. I want to raise her son like he’s my own, and I want to love her. I still don’t know if I’m capable, but considering I’ve spent almost a year without fucking anyone but her, I’m pretty sure I’m through with my days of womanizing.
I can’t even think of another woman like that, and that can only mean I’m better than my dad. Maybe I can be that guy she needs after all.
She walks out, and I can tell she’s been crying. I’m sure the day has overwhelmed her. Being shot at has to be pretty fucking terrifying. When I find this bastard, he’ll pray I shoot him. The things I plan to do might send me to prison for a while.
“You hungry?” I ask, and she shakes her head.
I frown as I stare at her body withering away.
"You need to eat," I mutter before glancing toward the kitchen. “Betty,” I call, and the short, black-haired lady bobs in quickly with a ready-to-please smile. “Will you get Ms. Branderwood something to eat, please?”
She nods vehemently, and then she disappears back into the kitchen. I pick up the remote beside me while cradling Trip a little closer to my body, and I turn on all the lights of the house to cast a better glow.
“Better?” I ask as Ash sits down in the chair across from me.
“Yeah.”
“He can sleep in my room, if you want. I’m sure you’re exhausted.”
Her eyes water more, and I want to ask her to sleep in my room, too. I’d love to feel her body wrapped around mine, but it wouldn’t be right to do to her right now. She’s too vulnerable.
“That’s okay. He sleeps pretty good, so he can just stay with me.”
“Can I ask where his father is and why he isn’t here checking on his son after a shot that could have killed either of you?”
She takes a deep breath, as though she’s trying not to fall apart. I shouldn’t be pressing this, but I have to. That asshole should show some fucking concern for his son and the mother of his son.
“He’s… it’s just… well, he isn’t part of Trip’s life. He’s sort of… well, we didn’t both have to change the way we lived for one mistake. I love Trip. To me, he’s not a mistake anymore. Now he’s real. Now he’s the best thing in my life, but his dad, well, his dad isn’t ready to be a dad - his words, not mine.”
“You think he’s ready to be a dad?” I ask curiously.
It almost feels like she cares about this son of a bitch, and it hurts like hell.
“I think he would be an incredible father, but until he’s ready, this is the best thing for Trip and for me.”
Taking a deep breath, I reposition the sleeping child in my arms. His lips bubble again, and I can’t help but smile. I feel so close to this little one, and I’m sure it’s because of what I feel for his mother.
“Do you miss his dad?” I ask, my heart stinging as the suspense fills the room.
Her eyes stare unwavering into mine.
“Very much.
He doesn’t do relationships though, and honestly, I don't think he ever will. Like I said, this is the best thing for both of us.”
Apparently I’m not the only jerk she involved herself with. That day she asked for dinner, I should have said yes. All of this would have gone differently if I had just said yes. Now she’s hung up on someone else.
I’ll just have to remind her what she felt for me.
Chapter Ten
Sexual Tension at Home
Ashiara
Having to watch Tag feeding Trip is making me want to tell him he’s his son more and more. We’ve been here for three weeks, and in that time, Tag has changed diapers, made bottles, got up in the middle of the night to take care of the fussy spells, and rocked him to sleep numerous times.
He deserves to know he’s his dad, and I’m sick of hiding the truth. Whether he knows it or not, he’d be a great father - he already is.
“I have to go to work for a few hours. I have a lot of meetings today. You need anything while I’m out?”
You. Just you. That’s all I can fucking think about.
“No. I’m fine,” I lie while accidentally staring at his crotch area.
He slips Trip into my arms, and I lean back, trying to compose myself.
“You want anything special for dinner tonight?”
You! Just you!
“I’m easy,” I roll out with some innuendo.
He smirks, but he doesn’t push the matter.
“What about supplies? Do you need anything… um… feminine?”
I don’t need anything feminine. I need something masculine - you!
“No,” I laugh. “I’ve got everything I need, and if I didn’t, I’d let a girl take care of that, not you.”
“Why not me?” he asks with a near pout.
“Because you get squeamish just using the word feminine. I wouldn’t dare ask you to pick up something like that,” I say through my chuckles while standing up.
He follows behind me, and I look over my shoulder to see him running a hand through his hair.
“You should be able to ask me for anything. I don’t want you feeling like you can’t”