Gray refused to take the bait. “Not if I have to eat kibble and sleep outside on the ground. I’ve had enough roughing it to last me a lifetime, thank you.”
He plodded past her, noting how refreshed she looked compared to the way he felt. There must be some way to get a little relief. Maybe it would be easier if he carried Lewis on his back. It wouldn’t hurt to ask if that was feasible. “Have you ever considered making a sling for injured dogs so you could lug them like a backpack?”
“No. But that’s a good idea.” Stacy studied man and dog. “We can try draping him over your shoulders, if you like. I can’t see why it wouldn’t be as good as the way you’re carrying him now, as long as you didn’t have to hold on to his sore leg to balance him.”
“And we might make better time that way.”
“Yes.” Her voice was devoid of emotion, reflecting the numbness she was feeling. Helping him reposition the injured dog for ease of transportation, she bit back tears of regret. Above all, Gray must never suspect how much she cared for him, or how desperately she’d miss him when they no longer had reason to see each other.
Sorry for the way she’d had to intimidate the child to make her promise to behave, Stacy salved her conscience by asking, “What do you think about my giving Missy a puppy? Would Candace and Mark permit it?”
“You’d have to ask them.”
“Oh, that should be fun,” Stacy retorted. “Almost as much fun as being thrown out of your father’s house as soon as he didn’t need me anymore.” She immediately realized she was being overly defensive and added, “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Dad didn’t throw you out.”
“Oh, no? He sure didn’t invite me to stay for tea!”
Gray had to admit that was true. Unfortunate, but true. He was so used to the way his family behaved he’d laughed off the incident. Obviously, Stacy hadn’t. “My father’s not the friendliest guy in the world but he’s good to my mother. And he supports several charities very generously.”
“How nice.” What a shame that the Paynes considered their conduct normal, she thought. Why couldn’t they see how much happier they’d be if they expressed a little Christian love and compassion once in a while and stopped being so judgmental toward anyone who was different from them?
That line of reasoning brought Stacy up short. Oh, boy! It took one to know one, didn’t it? Her pace slowed. Her conscience twisted. All the family counselors in the world wouldn’t do a bit of good unless a person sincerely wanted to change for the better. She had Christ in her heart, yet she was still judging people negatively. If she couldn’t be as loving as she should be, with all that divine help, what chance of genuine reform did a family like Gray’s have?
Her heart sank as she accepted the truth and sought a remedy. If she could pray for the Paynes—and really mean it—maybe she could finally relinquish the animosity in her own heart. That change could make all the difference in the world when she approached them about Missy’s puppy. She might not be able to put all of her old resentment aside, but it was worth a try.
She owed it to a lonely little girl to do her best.
James and a team of other able-bodied men met Stacy’s party a quarter mile from the camp border. Lewis didn’t object when Gray handed him off to two of them.
“Whew! I’ve never been so glad to see anybody in my life,” Gray told James. Together, they watched Stacy and Missy go on ahead, flanking the men who now carried Lewis. “That dog weighs a ton.”
James clapped him on the back. “Glad to see you, too, buddy. You had me worried.”
“Yeah. Me, too.” Gray motioned his friend aside and plopped down on a fallen log to rest and catch his breath. Finally, he said, “Missy found us a cave just before the storm hit. She’s quite a kid. I just wish I could be sure she was eventually going to settle down.”
“Which reminds me,” James said. “Your brother called while you were gone.”
Gray stiffened. “You didn’t tell him Missy had taken off again, did you?”
“No. But he did leave you a message.”
The look on James’s face made the hair at the back of Gray’s neck prickle. “I’m not going to like this, am I?”
“I doubt it. Candace is pregnant. Mark said to tell you he’s calling off the adoption.”
“No! He can’t. It’ll destroy Missy.” Not to mention what would happen to his own emotional state, he added silently. “And Stacy will be livid. She’s identified so closely with Missy she’ll be sure to blame my whole family.”
“What can you do about it?”
“I don’t know.” Gray got to his feet and began pacing. “There has to be something. I can’t let her be hurt.”
“Who are we talking about here?” James asked wisely. “Missy or Stacy?”
That question brought Gray up short. He stared at his old friend for long seconds. If he were to be honest about his feelings, he’d have to say he loved them both. Huffing in self-derision, he started to smile wryly. “I think I’m in big trouble, here.
“I’d say so.” James chuckled. “Of course, there is a logical solution. Marriage.”
“Logical? Hah! You don’t know the half of it. Stacy Lucas and I have absolutely nothing in common. It would never work.”
“Who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself?”
“I don’t have to convince anybody. It’s a simple fact. She has her life-style and I have mine. She’s made it perfectly clear that we’re worlds apart.”
“Okay.” James shrugged nonchalantly. “What’s stopping you from spending a little time in her world? I’ve been telling you for years that you should hire some eager college grads and let them take over some of your management accounts so you’d have more free time. Of course, if you’re not really attracted to Stacy it would be foolish to marry her just to get a mother for Missy.”
Gray didn’t know what to say. Stacy was funny and fun, bright and sensitive, and her soul spoke to his like no one else’s ever had. But there was more to it than that. He’d had a lifetime to come to understand what happened when people married for the wrong reasons.
“I have to tell you something,” Gray said soberly. “I don’t know who my real father was. It wasn’t Nathan Payne.” He was amazed to see that James didn’t seem very surprised.
“I suppose that explains why you and Mark have such different coloring and features. And also why Nathan was always so ironhanded with you, while your little brother could get away with anything.”
“How can you be so matter-of-fact about this? You know what news like that makes me.”
“Who your father was, or wasn’t, doesn’t make a bit of difference,” James said. “In case you haven’t noticed, nobody on this earth is perfect. We’ll never be worthy of God’s love, any more than we’re worthy of the love of a good woman like Stacy.”
“She deserves better,” Gray said quietly. “Somebody who knows his true background and can assure her there are no genetic risks or hidden pitfalls.”
“If you’re going to deny yourself a chance at happiness because you honestly believe that’s what’s best for Stacy, then I’m even more positive you’re the right man for her. The question is, what are you going to do about it?”
“I don’t have a clue. I guess the most important thing is to call my attorney and find out how hard it will be for me to adopt Missy.”
“As a single man?” James probed. “Or a married one?”
Gray muttered under his breath. “Single. Unless God convinces me otherwise. Come on. I’ve got my second wind. Let’s get started back.” He noticed that his old friend kept his distance so he said, “I hope that doesn’t upset you.”
“Nope,” James answered with a wry grin. “I just don’t want to be standing too close when the Good Lord decides to reach down and zap some sense into you.”
Stacy was getting into her truck when Gray reached the place where they’d left it the day before. The sight of her tied his gut in a kn
ot of wishful longing. He couldn’t just let her drive away without at least saying goodbye.
Her heart began to race when she saw him wave and jog toward her. Maybe he was finally going to tell her what she wanted to hear; that he loved her and wanted to keep seeing her in spite of their differences. She held her breath. Hoping. Praying. Imagining how wonderful it would be if he took her in his arms and kissed her, again.
A broad grin lit her face as she greeted him. “Hi! I’m glad to see you’ve recovered.” When he didn’t return her smile, it waned. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”
Not in the way you mean, he thought. He looked around. “Where’s Missy?”
“The others took her back to the main camp to get her cleaned up and find her something warm to eat.”
“I’m surprised she went with them, considering how fond she is of you and Lewis.” He glanced into the truck where the dog was resting comfortably. “Is he all right?”
“He will be,” Stacy said. She laid her hand on his arm to offer comfort. “But I’m not so sure about you? Are you okay?”
Gray sighed deeply. There was no easy way to tell her what Mark had decided. And his own thoughts were in such a muddle that even he didn’t understand them, so how could he hope to explain anything to Stacy? Placing his hand over hers, he simply said, “Mark is calling off the adoption.”
She jerked away. “What? He can’t do that!”
“He’s doing it. Candace is expecting a baby. That’s the family they wanted in the first place.”
“Terrific! How nice for them. What’s going to happen to Missy? Or hadn’t they thought about that?”
“I haven’t talked to Mark about it yet,” Gray said. “But Missy will be fine.” He looked deeply into Stacy’s eyes, waiting for her reaction when he said, “I’m going to adopt her myself.”
“You’re what? When did you decide that?”
“A few minutes ago.” Gray raked his fingers through his hair, roughly combing it back. “I also thought—”
Stacy stared up at him. “What? You also thought what?”
“Never mind. It was a stupid idea. It would never work out.” Part of him urged that he go ahead and tell her. Another part kept insisting it wasn’t fair. He wished he was in a boardroom somewhere, making a professional proposal to a room full of hard-nosed executives. That would be much easier than talking one-on-one to Stacy.
“Suppose you let me decide if it was stupid,” she said.
In a business situation he’d have had a prepared list of pros and cons to cite. In this case, he knew he cared too much for everyone involved to be nearly that lucid, so he decided to just plunge in. “Well, James thought maybe, since you and I both love Missy, we could get married and make a regular home for her.” He saw a look of pure astonishment come over Stacy.
“James thought?” She couldn’t keep her soul-deep disappointment from making her sound defensive. “But you think it’s a stupid idea, right?”
“I have my reasons.”
“I’ll bet you do.” Heartbroken, she turned away. Gray reached for her. She evaded his touch. Climbing into her truck she looked back at him only once before driving away.
He was standing there, mutely watching her go.
The break in Lewis’s leg was a simple fracture, easily set with a lightweight cast. Stacy had waited at the vet’s until the dog was ready to travel, then driven the rest of the way home slowly, so forlorn she hadn’t even been tempted to eat the candy bar she’d found in the glove compartment.
When she’d run across the candy again it had reminded her of the last time she’d seen Gray. Of course, everything else did, too. She’d imagined she’d spotted him in her favorite grocery store. And driving down the street in neighboring Batesville. And even in church one Sunday. Each time she’d been wrong, and her usually sunny disposition had suffered terribly.
Onyx and Lewis’s puppies were getting bigger by the day. Three of them were already sold and three more were going to experienced rescue personnel for training soon. That left only one. The one she’d chosen for Missy. It was a golden-colored female with big, beautiful brown eyes and the even temperament of its daddy. It also had an inquisitive nature that had been providing Stacy with hilarious diversion ever since she’d moved the pup into the house to be socialized and housebroken. Now it was time to deliver it. The only problem was, Stacy knew she’d probably have to face Graydon Payne to do it.
She hadn’t been able to reach him at any of the places she’d tried, including both his homes. Finally, she’d had to give up long enough to drive into Little Rock to conduct a scheduled training seminar. Physically, she was there. Emotionally, she continued to agonize over not knowing for sure that Missy had found a real, permanent family.
Stacy’s class was full, as usual. The students had been instructed to leave their dogs at home for the first session so there would be less distraction. She’d brought Lewis to illustrate the preliminaries because he was the most laid-back of her dogs, and because she was afraid he sensed that his working days were nearly over.
“Or maybe he’s just picking up on my dumpy mood,” she grumbled as she sorted through her notes and prepared to take roll. It was bad enough that she missed Gray so much her life had lost all its joy. It was even worse to know she was going to have to deal with him one more time before she was through. Add to that her ongoing concern for Missy’s emotional well-being after Mark sent her away like an unwanted stray, and she had plenty of good reasons for being depressed. How could anybody do that to a child?
Someone laid a folder on Stacy’s desk. Assuming it contained more enrollment forms, she added it to the stack. Suddenly, Lewis perked up, ears forward and alert, and thumped his tail on the floor at her feet.
Following the dog’s line of sight Stacy did a double take. Dear Lord, she was imagining things again. The man standing off to one side at the back of the room looked exactly like Graydon Payne! She blinked to clear her head. The vision remained. This time, he was real!
Holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers he stood there, smiling confidently, as though he didn’t remember a thing about his claim that marrying her was a stupid idea.
Stacy’s first impulse was squeal with delight and run straight into his arms. Then she thought about how he hadn’t even bothered to phone her since that day at the camp and she quickly regained her senses, acknowledging him with no more than a polite nod.
Gray stepped forward and pointed to the folder she’d just received. “Tell me what you thought of that.”
Stacy never took her eyes off him. “What is it?”
“A professional prospectus,” he said. “I wanted you to know exactly what you were getting into before I asked you to marry me. Again. Look at it.”
“Why should I need to?” She was having a terrible time remaining in full control of her wobbly knees and trembling hands, not to mention the flock of butterflies holding an impromptu square dance in her stomach.
He gestured again. “Because it’s all in there. Every drawback and every asset. Read it. Please.”
Stacy shook her head. “No. I do want to know about your work, eventually, but you’re not going to get away with treating me like one of your clients. I want you to talk to me. If you have anything to say, say it.”
He snorted in self-derision. “You mean here? Now?” The firm set to her jaw told him that was exactly what she wanted. “I don’t know. I didn’t do such a good job the first time I tried proposing.”
“True. But since you’ve had practice, you should be a little better at it by now.” She folded her arms across her chest and watched as the teasing tone of her comment brought a mischievous sparkle to his eyes, then added, “Since I love you so much it’s making me crazy, you might start by telling me you’re nuts about me, too.”
There was a faint giggle from the back of the classroom. Closer to the front, somebody coughed, sounding like they were strangling on a repressed snicker. That was all it took to launch the entir
e class into giggles.
Circling the desk, Gray ignored everyone else and gently took Stacy’s hands. “Oh, honey. I’ve been miserable without you. You’re all I think about, all I dream about. But I was afraid that if you knew everything about me, you’d turn me down flat. I finally decided to do what I know best. I worked up a list of the pros and cons so you could make a rational decision.”
Laughing and shaking her head, Stacy looked into his beloved face through a veil of happy tears. “There is nothing rational about my falling in love with you, Mr. Payne. I don’t want to consider all the reasons I shouldn’t marry you. I just want to follow my heart and do it.”
“You do?” Elated, he swept her into his arms, kissed her solidly, and swung her around in a circle, taking care to avoid stepping on Lewis.
So overcome with gratitude to her Heavenly Father she could hardly think straight, Stacy held tight. As soon as Gray put her down she rested her palms on his chest, unmindful of their student audience, and looked into his cherished face. The spiritual rapport she found there blessed her beyond her fondest dreams. Only one important question remained. “What about Missy?”
“She’s fine,” he said, his expression filled with pure wonder. “She’s already staying with me. I hired an older lady to look after her and they’ve become pals, so don’t think I only came here to get her a mother. Okay?”
“It will be my pleasure to be her mother,” Stacy murmured with tears of happiness running down her cheeks. “It ranks right up there with my delight at being your wife.”
Loud applause filled the room. Stacy wrapped her arms around Gray and clung to him. Judy had been right. It was much better to know someone loved you and wanted to spend eternity with you, than it was to be alone. The only complication was that this intimate moment had come now.
Sniffling and grinning, Stacy let go of her future husband and stepped back. “I hate to say this, but I’m afraid I have a class to teach.”
“No problem. I’ll just take a seat right here in front.” He quickly slid into an empty desk in the first row and faced her, smiling. “Go right ahead. Don’t mind me. I’ve always wanted to learn how this is done anyway.”
The Troublesome Angel Page 17