I blurted out the first thing that came into my head.
“Crap on a cracker!”
It was something my grandfather used to love to say when my grandmother was in earshot. He tended to go a little more risqué when she couldn’t hear him.
I grabbed a lid and covered the pan, suffocating the flames.
“What in blazes is going on in here?”
Grandma pushed me out of the way. I hadn’t even heard her come into the kitchen.
“Lucky! You could have burned the house down!”
Huh?
“It wasn’t me!” I argued.
“Well, we’re the only two people here.”
Well, that was true. And she could have burned the house down. I couldn’t watch her every second. Especially not in the middle of the night.
“Come on, Grandma. Let’s just go back to bed. It’s too early to be awake.”
“Someone has to clean this up!” She looked at me pointedly.
“Fine,” I sighed. “I’ll take care of it.”
She yawned and headed for the stairs.
“My goodness, Lucky. Who eats bacon in the middle of the night?”
I clenched my jaw, biting back my words. It wasn’t her fault. I wondered though, how many times had Grandpa woken up to a forgotten frying pan? He had managed to keep it all mostly hidden from me. I knew she was forgetful. But I had no idea I had to worry about being burned alive in my bed.
The pan was a lost cause. I trashed it and headed back to bed. But instead of drifting off to sleep again, I stared at the ceiling, wondering if she was going to wander out of the house or cook another midnight snack while I was asleep.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Catching Up
Ryan appeared in my doorway while I was trying to distract myself with Netflix.
“You look awful!”
“Gee thanks, Ryan,” I sniped at him.
“You need some serious concealer.”
“Shut up,” I mumbled.
“Did you even sleep last night?” he asked.
“As a matter of fact, I didn’t!”
And just like that, the tears were rolling down my face, and I was sobbing so hard I couldn’t catch my breath.
I hated crying.
“Shit!” I swiped at the tears angrily with my sleeve.
“What’s going on?” Ryan asked, sitting down on the bed beside me and putting an arm around me. His voice wasn’t teasing anymore. Somehow that made it worse, and I was suddenly a sobbing mess, crying into his shoulder. “Lucky? What’s wrong?”
“Everything!” I was angry. And sad. And frustrated. I couldn’t talk to my grandfather anymore. I definitely couldn’t talk to my grandma. But Ryan would listen. I knew that.
“Okay.” He reached past me for the tissues and handed me the box.
“Thanks.” I blew my nose. “Sorry for snotting on your shirt,” I said.
“It’s fine. It’s just GAP.”
I laughed at that.
“Lucky, are you okay?”
“No. I miss my grandfather.”
He nodded.
“And…”
I hadn’t said it out loud…. I wasn’t sure I could. I filled my lungs with air and just let it all out.
“I think Grandma’s sick. Like, really sick. I knew she was…forgetful…but it’s bad, Ryan.” Now that the words had started, I couldn’t stop them. “Grandpa always took care of her, and I don’t know how. I can’t watch her every second. She started a fire last night, Ryan. If I hadn’t woken up, what would have happened? We could both be dead.” I took a deep breath. “And she blamed me for it! She cooked bacon in the middle of the night and then completely forgot about it.”
“Jesus. Lucky, you need to tell someone.”
“Who? Who am I supposed to tell, Ryan?”
“I don’t know. A grown-up. Her doctor. Someone who can help. You can’t do this all by yourself.”
“Obviously, I know that!” I saw his face cloud. “Sorry. I’m just overwhelmed.”
“I know. It’s okay. But…have you thought about calling your mother?”
I gawked at him.
“Why the hell would I call her?”
“Don’t get pissed off at me, Lucky. You need help. You can’t take care of your grandma by yourself anymore.”
“I have to! There’s no one else. My mother can’t even take care of herself. She isn’t about to come to the rescue.”
“I just…I don’t get…how did you not notice how bad she was?”
“What? Are you seriously blaming me?”
“Of course not. But…if she’s this bad…did you really not notice?”
“I don’t know. I guess…I didn’t want to notice,” I admitted.
Ryan nodded.
“I get it. I do. But…I think she has dementia, Lucky. She’s not going to get any better.”
Ryan had just put my biggest fear into words. She really wasn’t going to get better. And no matter how badly I wanted things to stay the same, they were changing.
“If I tell someone, they might send her away.” My voice was so low I wasn’t sure he heard it. “You can’t tell anyone, Ryan.”
“Lucky…”
“No! You have to promise. I can take care of her! I’ll talk to her doctor and figure it out. Just…swear you won’t tell.”
“But I really think…”
“Swear, Ryan!”
We stared at each other for a long moment. Then the air whooshed out of him.
“Fine. But you’re going to have to tell someone eventually.”
“I’ll tell someone when I can’t handle things myself.” I nodded. “Promise.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
A Day Off
I’d spent so much time at home lately that Ryan wanted to treat me to coffee and comics. It’s something we used to do once a week, but since Grandpa died, I hadn’t managed to make it to The Comic Cellar even once. Grandma was next door with her friend, Mrs. Turner, so I felt pretty confident leaving for an hour or two. And frankly, I needed the break.
We each had a bag full of comics as we sat in the café and ordered.
“Can I see your Sandman?” Ryan asked, slurping a Frappuccino smothered in whipped cream and cookie crumbs.
“You need to wipe your hands off before you touch Mr. Gaiman’s best work.” I shoved a pile of napkins at him.
We spent the next hour or so reading Spider-Man, Deadpool, and The Dark Knight, and arguing about who would win in a fight: DC vs. Marvel version.
“I feel like Deadpool would fight dirty, so he could kick Aquaman’s ass,” Ryan said.
“Oh my god…is there anyone you think could beat Deadpool?”
“No. Because no one is as awesome as Deadpool.”
“Wonder Woman could beat him,” I sniped.
“And you think Wonder Woman could beat anyone. She couldn’t even beat Aquaman, and he’s lame!”
“She can!” I told him. “If Aquaman gets his powers from the ocean, how is he supposed beat Wonder Woman on land?”
“Well…he takes the power with him…” Ryan was floundering. I loved when he floundered.
“He takes it with him? Like in a bottle?” I teased.
“Oh, shut up.”
Tara, our waitress du jour cleared our cups.
“I’m closing up, guys. Do you want something for the road?”
I literally felt the color drain from my face.
Shit.
I looked at my phone.
Eight o’clock.
We had been gone for six hours.
“I need to go home right now!” I jumped up, stuffing my comics back in the bag, not caring if they got damaged.
“Shit. I’m sorry, Lucky.”
> “It’s my fault. I should have been watching the time. Just…we need to go now!”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
911 Again
“Can’t you drive any faster?” My knee was jittering up and down as I listened to the phone ringing on the other end for the millionth time. “Why isn’t she answering?”
“I’m going as fast as I can, Lucky. I’m sure she’s fine. Maybe she stayed at the neighbor’s for dinner.”
“Why don’t I have their number? I should have asked for it. Why didn’t I ask for it, Ryan?”
“I don’t know. We’ll be there soon.”
He ran a red light, for which I was extremely grateful. I didn’t think I could stand sitting at a red light.
“Drive faster, Ryan,” I begged. He nodded, and I felt the car surge forward. “Thank you.”
Within minutes, we were rounding the corner onto my street.
“What the hell?” Ryan stepped on the gas until we were fairly flying toward my house and the ring of fire trucks and police cars surrounding it. Smoke was curling upward, and I could see the glow of flames though the front window.
“Oh my god. Grandma!” I screamed, jumping out of the car before he had even come to a stop. “Grandma!” I ran for the house, but before I could get there, an arm grabbed me around the waist, lifting me off the ground. “My grandmother’s in there!” I screamed, clawing at his arm. “Let me go!”
“It’s okay, miss. Your grandmother is being checked out by the paramedics. She’s right over there.”
I could barely see through eyes half blind with tears and smoke. I stopped fighting him.
“Where? Where is she?”
“I’ll take you,” he said, loosening his iron grip.
Grandma was perched on the back of an ambulance, wrapped in a gray blanket. She looked unbelievably small.
“Grandma!” I ran to her, throwing my arms around her and hugging her tightly. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” She patted my back awkwardly through her blanket.
“What happened?” I asked, pulling away and pushing her hair out of her eyes.
“How should I know?”
“What…what do you mean?”
“I was reading and someone started a fire. I saw smoke so I went outside and that nice man over there,” she pointed at the firefighter who had stopped me from running inside the house, “brought me over here and gave me a blanket.”
“Your neighbor saw smoke and called 911. I know it looks bad, but the damage is really just in the kitchen,” the firefighter said.
My heart sank. She must have been cooking again. If I hadn’t been late getting back, I could have made her something to eat.
“Your father is going to be very upset, Christina,” my grandmother said. I saw the firefighter exchange a glance with the paramedic.
“I’m Lucky, Grandma,” I told her wearily.
“You are lucky,” the paramedic said. “The fire could have been much bigger.”
“No. My name is Lucky,” I told her.
“Who’s Christina?” the firefighter asked.
I considered lying briefly. But I was just too tired.
“She’s my mother.”
“Does she live with you?” he asked.
“No. It’s just me and my grandmother.”
“And your grandfather? Where is he?”
I glanced at my grandmother.
“He died.”
The paramedic led me away from the ambulance, out of earshot of my grandmother.
“How long has your grandmother been confused?” she asked.
“I don’t know…for a while, I guess.”
“And has she done this before? Left the stove on?”
“Yeah. Once. But I was here so it wasn’t a big deal. She just forgets sometimes. I was late, and she must have gotten hungry….” I trailed off. I was digging a hole that was too big to get out of.
She nodded, not unkindly.
“I think she needs to be assessed, Lucky. I’d like to take her to hospital and have a doctor examine her. Do you have someone you can stay with? Can you call your mother?”
“I haven’t seen my mother in years,” I told her. “Can I come to the hospital with her?”
“No, I’m sorry. You can follow us though. But I think you’d better call your mother. You’ll need an adult to make decisions if she can’t make them for herself.”
“All right. I’ll call her. But don’t expect much.”
I glanced at Ryan, who had come up to stand beside me. He nodded. “I’ll drive you there.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Exam Room Seven
They wouldn’t let me ride with Grandma even though I begged and she threatened them with legal action if they didn’t let me. I don’t know what she had in mind, but it didn’t work. Thank goodness Ryan was there to follow close behind the ambulance.
“What am I supposed to say to my mom?” I asked him. “I don’t even know if I have the right number for her.”
“You can stay at my place. My aunt and uncle won’t mind,” he said.
“Thanks. But I think they want someone who can make medical decisions or whatever. And I’m a minor. My mother is the only…family we have.” I spit the word out. She wasn’t family. She didn’t want anything to do with either of us.
“Do you want me to come in with you?” he asked, pulling up outside the main entrance.
“No. I don’t know how long I’ll be here.”
“Well you can’t stay at your place, so call me when you need me to pick you up.” He leaned over and gave me a hug.
“Okay. Thanks.”
“It’ll be all right, Lucky. They’ll get you and your grandmother the help you both need.”
I nodded, but I had a bad feeling. It felt like there was a rock in my stomach or something. Grandma had gotten worse, and now that she really had set the house on fire, I didn’t know what they’d do with her. Or me.
I waved at Ryan and felt the rush of cool as the sliding doors to the hospital whooshed open. There was a buzz of energy as soon as I walked in, with doctors rushing around and patients shuffling by, supported by nurses. There was a desk in front of me with a harried-looking nurse trying to reason with someone on the phone.
“I can’t give you a diagnosis over the phone, sir. You have to come in. Yes, I know it takes a long time to be seen when you come into the emergency room, but unless it’s an emergency, you can wait to see your own doctor in the morning. I don’t know if it’s an emergency, Sir. You’d need to see a doctor for that. No, I can’t put one on the phone. Yes, I’m sure. Then you’d better go to the emergency room, Sir. Okay. Good-bye.”
She set the phone down and shook her head.
“Excuse me?”
“Yes?”
“An ambulance just brought my grandmother in. Can you help me find her?”
“Name?”
“Daisy Robinson.”
She clicked some keys.
“They just brought her in…. She’s probably not in your system. I think they wanted to check her out…to be sure she’s okay. We had a…bit of a fire.”
“Ah! Yes. I saw her come in. She’s down the hall with the doctor. Go left. Exam room…seven.”
“Okay. Thanks.”
It was easy to find. I could have found it with my eyes closed anyway, when I heard her voice from all the way down the hall.
“I don’t want to answer any more of your questions. I just want to go home!”
I knocked and walked in on a doctor and a nurse trying to block my grandmother from leaving.
“Ma’am, you can’t leave yet. We have to make sure you’re all right first.”
“I’m fine! Lucky, tell them.”
“Grandma, just let them check you out, okay?”
I put an arm around her shoulders and guided her into a chair.
“I want to go home!” she whined.
“We will,” I soothed, pulling the other chair toward her so I could keep a hand on her arm. “Just let them do their jobs, Grandma.”
The doctor nodded at me. She looked like she had been on her feet all day and wanted nothing more than to sit down herself. But she smiled kindly at my grandmother and examined her to make sure she hadn’t breathed in too much smoke or anything. She kept up a steady barrage of questions while her nurse took notes.
“So you forgot that the stove was on, Mrs. Robinson?”
“No. Someone else did,” Grandma said stubbornly.
“But you were home alone, weren’t you?”
“I don’t know. I can’t remember now.”
“Have you ever left the stove on before, Mrs. Robinson?” the doctor asked gently.
“No. Maybe.”
“Do you find that you forget things, Ma’am?”
“I’m old. Of course I forget things!”
“Grandma, they’re just trying to help,” I said, hoping to calm her down.
They asked question after question. Some of them, my grandmother answered, some she shrugged off, and others she got downright belligerent about. I was exhausted.
Finally, they let Grandma lie down for a bit and led me out into the hallway. The doctor smiled at me kindly. Sadly.
“I’m sure you’re aware that your grandmother is suffering from dementia, Lucky.”
I nodded. I didn’t want to hear the words…but I knew.
“When can I take her home?” I asked wearily.
“Has she forgotten things on the stove before? Wandered off? Forgotten your name?”
“Well…yes. But I’ve been taking care of her, and we’re doing okay. Mostly.”
“You can’t take care of her by yourself. Is there someone else who can help?”
“No. It’s just the two of us.”
“She mentioned her daughter. Your mother?” she asked.
“Yes. But we haven’t seen her in years. She’s an addict.”
“Is there anyone else? She’s either going to need significant help at home or she’ll have to go into a care facility.”
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