“You must be Lucky?”
I nodded.
“Well, you’re welcome here, Lucky. My husband is just doing the dishes, and you’ve already met Lucy.”
“Okay. Thanks for having me?” I wasn’t sure what to say, but she smiled and held the door open for me.
“Thanks, Cynthia. I’ll give you a shout tomorrow after Lucky is settled.”
“Thank you, Paula. You’re a life saver!” Paula closed the door with a wave.
“Case workers are so dramatic,” she said, rolling her eyes at me. I smiled back. “Come on. I’ll introduce you to Greg.”
Greg turned out to resemble pretty much what I pictured a lumberjack to look like. He was tall and broad-shouldered with hair that looked like it took a lot of effort to tame. But his smile was warm, and he shook my hand gently.
“It’s nice to meet you, Lucky. We’re glad to have you. Right, Lucy?” He grabbed a handful of bubbles out of the sink and blew them at Lucy. She shrieked and smacked him with her dish towel.
“Come on, Lucky. I’ll show you your room,” Paula said.
“I’ll show her! Please?” Lucy gave Paula her winning smile.
“If it’s okay with Lucky,” Paula told her, smoothing her hair back.
“Can I?” Lucy implored. How could I say no?
“Of course.” I smiled. Which is how I found myself following a bounding pig-tailed kid up the stairs and into a room that looked more or less exactly like the last two. Except this one had twin beds.
“Do we share a room?” I asked her.
“No!” She collapsed onto one of the beds in a fit of giggles. “My room is next door.”
“Cool!” I dropped my bag on the floor and pulled out my photos, setting them carefully on the night table.
“Who are they?” Lucy asked, leaning over to study each of them. She gently touched the one of Grandma, Grandpa, and me.
“My grandparents. And me, obviously.”
“Where are they?”
“My grandfather died and my grandmother…is in a home. She has Alzheimer’s…trouble remembering things.” My eyes prickled. I had never said that out loud.
“I’m sorry,” Lucy said, slipping her hand into mine.
I squeezed it. “Thanks.”
She rolled onto her back and studied me.
“Do you miss them?” she asked.
“Every single day,” I admitted.
She nodded.
“I miss my mom a lot. I lived with her. Before, I mean.”
“Is she…?”
Lucy looked away, her face coloring.
“She’s in jail.”
“Oh.” I had no idea how to respond to that.
“We didn’t have any money so she stole some stuff. She told me it was wrong and to never steal. But we were hungry. She’ll be out soon though. Just in time for her birthday.” She smiled a little.
“That’s good. And I’m really sorry that your mom got…” Caught? I didn’t even know what I was sorry for. “That your mom got sent away.” She nodded.
“Do you want to see my room?” she asked suddenly, jumping up.
“For sure!” I said, happy to change the subject.
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
Good Night
By the time Lucy had shown me my room and then wandered off to hers, I could barely keep my eyes open. It had been a long day. I was exhausted from moving again. I was excited to see Ryan tomorrow. And I wanted nothing more than to climb into bed and put this day behind me. But as I got under the blankets, I knew I had to do one more thing if I had any hope of sleeping tonight.
ME:Hey. It’s Lucky.
…
…
…
I was about to give up and just turn my phone off for the night when I finally got a response.
JAKE:Hey. U ok?
ME:Yeah. How’s Charlie?
JAKE:Fine. Bit of a headache but cracking jokes again. He liked the comics you left him
ME:I wish I could have said good-bye
JAKE:He knows. It’s okay
ME:I’m sorry.
JAKE:I know.
I paused, trying to figure out what to say, then just took a breath and typed.
ME:Maybe I can visit?
I waited, my hands shaking a little.
JAKE:You better!
Smiling, I said good night and tossed my phone onto the night table before turning off the light.
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
Old Friends
I woke up early. Something that rarely happened on a school day. Like most teens, I usually had to drag myself out of bed and force myself to go to school.
But not today.
Today I was going back to my school!
I got dressed quickly, hoping I might get the chance to pick up some of my clothes soon since I was close to home. I was down the stairs before I could really take a good look at my Beatles T-shirt and jeans.
“Good morning,” I sang out, sitting down at the table and picking up a piece of toast.
“Peanut butter?” Lucy asked.
“My name’s Lucky, but I’d love some peanut butter,” I quipped. She laughed.
“Can I get you anything else?” Paula asked.
“No thanks. Cynthia said I could just walk to school?” I asked, standing back up.
“Yes. But I can drive you if you’d like.”
“No. I’m fine. Does Lucy walk too?” I asked. Truthfully, I didn’t want to wait. I was dying to see Ryan and everyone else.
“No. I take her.”
“Okay. Well…have a great day!” I headed for the door before remembering. “Oh! I was hoping to drop by my house…where I lived before…to grab a few things. Is that okay?”
“Just be back for dinner,” Paula said.
“I will. Bye, Lucy.”
She waved, her mouth full of something I couldn’t identify.
I couldn’t stop looking around as I walked to school. Ryan had offered to pick me up, but he had the school paper in the morning and had to be there early, so I declined. I was coming from the opposite direction of my house, but I knew the neighborhood, and after being away I couldn’t stop staring at everything that was familiar.
The walk was over far too soon, and I was climbing the front stairs of my old school before I knew it. Kids I had known most of my life were watching me walk up.
“Hey, Lucky!” one of the drama kids called out. “Are you back?”
“Yes!”
I barely knew her but she ran over and hugged me. I hugged her back. I was finally home!
“Hi, Lucky!” someone else called out. Taylor. I did know her and rushed over to give her a hug.
“Hi!” I was still hugging Taylor when I heard a shout from the parking lot.
“LUCKY!”
I turned and saw Ryan running toward me like a linebacker.
“OhmygodRYAN!” I shrieked and, dropping my bag, ran for him. We collided somewhere in the middle, and he wrapped his arms around me and flung me off my feet. I was literally crying. And I never cried. But suddenly, after all the stuff I had been through, having Ryan right in front of me was just so incredibly overwhelming.
“Are you crying?” he asked, trying to pull away. I clung to him like a spider monkey.
“No!” I insisted, wiping my eyes on his shoulder.
“Oh my god! Lucky Robinson is actually crying!” he crowed. “You never cry.”
“I’m not crying!” I squeezed the breath out of him. “I missed you so much!” I told him.
“I missed you too.” I looked over his shoulder and grinned.
“Hi, Thomas,” I called out.
“Hi, Lucky. Welcome back. Sorry…I didn’t want to intrude.”
“Yo
u’re not.” I finally let go of Ryan to give Thomas a quick hug. “So are you guys…official?”
“You know I don’t subscribe to labels, Lucky.” Ryan grinned.
“Ignore him. The answer is yes,” Thomas said, taking Ryan’s hand and kissing him on the cheek.
“Aww. You’re adorable.”
“Please shut up.” Ryan smiled happily.
“I don’t know if you guys have plans, but I want to drop by my house after school to pick some stuff up for Grandma.”
“Thomas has basketball, but I can take you. Just…please tell me you’re going to pick up some clothes too?”
“Whatever do you mean?” I asked innocently.
“I mean…what look are you going for here?” he asked, gesturing toward my jeans and T-shirt.
“You bought me this shirt.” I laughed.
“Well, I do have impeccable taste,” he admitted.
“Come on. I have to drop by the office so I can get my schedule.”
We walked into the school like I hadn’t left. If I could manage to stay out of trouble, my life would almost be back to normal. I’d be going to my old school with my friends, right near my house. At least until Grandma came home. I vowed right there in the foyer of the school that I would not cause any trouble this time. Or let anyone cause trouble for me.
CHAPTER FIFTY
Grandma’s Stuff
The day flew by. People stopped me in the halls to say hi and welcome me back. Ryan was by my side as much as he possibly could be. And the teachers all seemed pretty happy to have me back. It was a homecoming, and it felt amazing.
Thomas beat me to Ryan’s locker after the last bell, and I hung back and (in a non-creepy way) watched them. I loved seeing my best friend so happy. Thomas said something, making Ryan laugh and lean into him affectionately. He had changed since I had last been here. He was more confident and comfortable being himself. I loved Thomas suddenly for that.
“You two are disgustingly adorable,” I said, walking up and leaning against the lockers beside me.
“I know,” Ryan said happily, giving Thomas a quick kiss before sending him to basketball practice.
“See you tomorrow, Lucky,” Thomas called over his shoulder.
“You bet!” I looked at Ryan, who was staring after his boyfriend. I shoved him. “Snap out of it, Romeo. Are you ready to go?”
“Yeah.” He had the kind of smile on his face that was impossible to wipe off.
“You look happy,” I told him. “It looks good on you.”
“Yeah, he’s pretty great,” he agreed. “How’s your grandma doing?”
“I haven’t seen her for a while. And the last time I did, she wasn’t herself,” I admitted.
“That’s rough.”
“Yeah. I should call her and see what she wants me to bring from the house.”
I whipped out my phone and found her number.
“Hello?” Her voice sounded much stronger than the last time I had spoken to her.
“Hi, Grandma. It’s Lucky.”
“Lucky girl! How are you, sweetheart?” Wow. She sounded like her old self again!
“I’m good, Grandma. I’m back at my old school, and Ryan is going to take me to the house to pick some things up for you. Is there anything you want me to bring you?”
“Oreos?” she asked hopefully.
“I’ll bring you Oreos, Grandma. But what do you want from the house?”
“Oh, dear. Can you bring my cookie jar?”
“For the Oreos?”
“Obviously, dear. And my blue cardigan. And my slippers. And the book I was reading. And maybe some photos?”
“I’ll find all of that.”
“When are you coming?” she asked.
“I’m not sure. Maybe tomorrow?”
“All right, dear. Just call first, okay? I have a poker tournament scheduled.”
“Oh. Okay. Bye, Grandma. Love you. Ryan says hi.”
“Bye, sweetheart. Love you both.”
“She says she loves you too,” I told Ryan.
“Awww. Are you ready now?”
“Yeah, let’s go.”
I couldn’t stop staring out the window on the drive to my house.
“You look like a golden retriever,” Ryan said, laughing.
“I forgot how amazing my neighborhood is,” I told him.
“What do you mean?”
“All the places I’ve stayed are so generic. All the streets are the same. The houses are the same. My room is always the same. But this? Look at all the houses. They’re all different. I miss this,” I sighed.
“You’re so weird.”
“I know. Look—there’s my house! I missed you so much, house!”
I was out the door and dashing up the front steps before Ryan had brought the car to a full stop. I slid my key into the lock and threw the front door open.
“I’m home!” I yelled out to the empty house, the smell of smoke still heavy in the air.
I walked through the living room, running my hands over my grandfather’s chair, picturing him sitting there reading while Grandma puttered around in the kitchen. I looked toward it but decided to avoid going into the room where this whole mess started.
“Lucky?” Ryan called out from the doorway.
“In here.”
“Wow. It’s like you never left,” he said, looking around.
“Except for the smell of smoke,” I reminded him.
We went upstairs and into my grandparents’ bedroom. Even after all this time, I could still smell the intertwined scents of his cologne and her perfume mingling with the smoky air, and I missed them both so terribly much in that moment that I wasn’t sure I could stand it. But with a deep breath, I opened the closet and pulled out Grandma’s cardigan.
“Is her book on the nightstand?” I asked Ryan.
“This one?” he held up a Stephen King novel.
“Yep. She loves Stephen King.” I grinned. “Wow. I really miss being home.”
“I know,” Ryan said, coming around the bed to hug me. “What else do you need?”
“Could you go into the kitchen and get her cookie jar?”
“Sure.”
He left me alone in the room while I found Grandma’s slippers and a few other things. I lingered over the photos she had framed on her dresser. I picked up her wedding photo and a picture of the three of us and added them to the pile, then went back for a picture of me holding up a fish with a toothless grin on my face.
I wandered to my room and stood right in the middle, looking around. It was the polar opposite of every room I had been forced to stay in since Cynthia from Children’s Aid decided to ruin my life. The walls were a soft buttery yellow and covered in photos I had taken and pictures I had drawn. I took a photo of me and Ryan off the wall and then opened my closet. I badly needed some clothes, but given that I didn’t stay in any one house for more than a couple of weeks, my stuff had to fit into one bag. I took out a couple of outfits and folded them as small as I could. I figured I could fit maybe two more outfits and an extra T-shirt. I didn’t know how to condense my life into a backpack.
“Are you ready?” Ryan asked, walking in with the cookie jar. He held it up. “It was kind of dirty, so I washed it.”
“Yeah, thanks.”
“Want me to drop you off at…well, I was going to say home, but…this is home. So…your foster house?”
“Yes, please. Thanks for doing this,” I said.
“You know I’d do anything for you, Lucky,” he said, giving me a one-armed hug.
CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE
Lucy
Ryan came in to introduce himself and say hi to everyone. As usual, he charmed them and accepted their invitation to stay for dinner. Lucy, of course, loved him.
“Ar
e you gay?” she asked.
“Lucy! Why would you ask that?” Paula said.
“Because the wallpaper on his phone is him and another boy.”
“It’s okay,” Ryan assured her. “Yes, I am. That’s my boyfriend.”
“Cool,” Lucy said. “My teacher is gay. He doesn’t have a boyfriend though.”
“How would you know that?” Greg laughed.
“He told us when we talked about different kinds of families. It’s okay to be gay, you know,” she told him, spearing a carrot and nibbling on the end.
“Yes, I know,” Greg told her.
“We don’t judge people,” Lucy announced.
“No, we don’t,” Paula agreed.
“Okay then. What’s your boyfriend’s name, Ryan?”
“Thomas,” he said, grinning.
“I like that name. Do you want to see my room later?”
“Sure.”
She grabbed him as soon as she finished eating and dragged him away.
“I’d be happy to clear the table by myself, guys. Thanks!”
“I’m glad you’re close to your friends again, Lucky,” Paula said.
“Yeah. It’s pretty great. By the way, I have to drop my Grandma’s stuff off tomorrow. Is that okay?”
“As long as you get your homework done.”
“I will.”
The evening flew by. Lucy hung out with Ryan and me until Greg made her come and watch TV with him to give us a break. I hugged Ryan, holding him close, and reminded him I’d see him tomorrow.
I got ready for bed and was crawling under the blankets by about ten o’clock. It was quiet enough that I could hear the soft drone of the television downstairs and a muffled noise from the other side of the wall. I pressed my ear against it and listened. Lucy was crying.
I got up and went to her room and knocked softly on her door.
“Yes?” a muffled voice answered.
“Lucy?” I poked my head in. “Are you okay?”
The streetlight streaming through her window showed the saddest face I had ever seen, and it was streaked with tears. I went and sat down beside her, putting an arm around her shoulders. She wrapped her arms around me tightly, sobbing.
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