And all because of a gum flavor?
“It’s no big deal – just a misunderstanding, Alex,” I reassured. He stopped pacing to look at me.
“You really have no idea what I am asking of you, do you?”
“Of course I do. I’m not that naïve.”
At least I didn’t think I was.
“What do you know about BDSM?”
His question took me by surprise. I raised one eyebrow at him, racking my brain to try and recall any knowledge on the subject.
BDSM was that kinky shit, right? When a guy liked to dress a girl in a costume and give her a spanking? But what does that have to do with chewing gum?
I made a mental note to start reading sleazy romance novels instead of crime and mystery.
“I know enough,” I said, raising my chin with false confidence. I was trying to hide how much of an amateur I really was, all while attempting to wrap my head around the fact that he wanted me to play the starring role some twisted sexual fantasy.
The simple fact was that I knew some stuff, but not a lot. And the more I thought about the subject, the more I realized how limited my knowledge was. Either way, if Alexander thought I was going to parade around looking like the English interpretation of a French housecleaner, he had another thing coming to him.
He eyed me up and down. His gaze was heated with desire, although I saw a flicker of uncertainty in the depths of his eyes as well.
“You think you know what I’m talking about?” he challenged. “We’ll see about that.”
CHAPTER 17
Alexander walked over to the corner of the living room to an elaborate entertainment center. After a moment, music filled my ears. It was a steady drumbeat mixed with guitar strings that were rough around the edges, the beginning notes sounding as if a first year guitar student were playing them. Alexander turned to look at me and his eyes were scorching.
“I don’t expect you to make a decision right now. However, I would like to have tonight with you. I want to give you a taste of my world,” he said, his voice hypnotic as he walked towards me. “Will you let me, Krystina?”
My mouth suddenly went dry.
This is it. This is what I want, right? Then why am I fidgeting?
I stilled my hands immediately before he could see how nervous I really was.
When he reached the table, he claimed a seat across the table from me, rather than sit next to me as he was before. I think he knew that I needed that space between us in order to make a decision. The seconds ticked by as he waited for my answer.
I listened to the music as it evolved; it’s harsh notes transitioning into something darker, the singers voice revealing a slightly raw edge that was potent to my system. If Alexander was trying to persuade me with music, it was working. My pulse beat in a frenzied pace, blood a loud drumming in my ears. The angel began to unroll a white flag of surrender, and the devil had invited a few friends to the Big Top. I was a goner.
“Yes,” I finally answered in a whisper.
“Come here, Krystina,” he said quietly. It was an order, one that I felt compelled obey, regardless of how nervous I was. I stood up and cautiously walked around to his side of the table.
“Sit down,” he said, patting his thighs with his hands.
“What is this song?” I asked, as I hesitantly lowered myself down to his lap.
“Didn’t you listen to the music that I loaded onto your phone?”
“No,” I breathed. Alexander ran his hand up my arm to cup the side of my neck and my heart rate accelerated at his touch. I listened to the music, savoring the feel of his hands as they circled my neck. The song lyrics flowed through me, the words so apropos for my current situation.
“You’re a naughty girl,” he said and tsked at me. “You’ll need to learn how to follow instructions better if you want to be with me.”
“I’ve never been very good at following directions,” I murmured under the heat of his fingertips as they caressed my collarbone and shoulders. I knew I was in over my head. In fact, I was practically drowning. But I couldn’t shake my fierce desire. I wanted to know more about his mysterious world. I was drawn to the unknown. I craved him like he was a drug, as if I were a junkie who needed a fix.
“Such a beautiful mouth,” he said huskily, running the pad of his thumb across my lower lip.
“It’s, um…just a normal mouth,” I could barely speak the words, my breathing coming out in rapid succession, as his thumb continued to trace the outline of my lips. He was making it difficult to concentrate. “I always…thought that…my lips were little too thin.”
“You’re talking too much, Krystina,” he growled suddenly, grabbing my head in between his hands and crushing his mouth to mine.
There was nothing easy about his kiss. His passion was demanding, as he pushed his tongue past my oh-so-willing lips, taking what he needed. Our tongues danced to the titillating music that was playing, consuming me as his hands moved possessively up and down my back.
His grip progressed over my ribs and to my waist, grazing the sides of my breasts on the way down. I felt myself shiver at the contact, my desire building and causing a fervent ache between my legs.
Oh, god…what is happening to me?
I wanted this man like I’ve never wanted anything else in my life.
I couldn’t think, as I felt his hand run down my thigh and then up under my skirt. His breath was hot on my neck, lips nipping their way over the line of my jaw. When I felt the sharp tug of his teeth on my earlobe, I may as well have tuned to putty, malleable and complaisant in his arms.
His hand massaged my thigh, working around past my hips and around to my behind. Cupping me there, he held me firm to him. I couldn’t move in his dominating hold. I could only feel the fire that burned with need in my belly.
His magical lips worked their way back up my neck and he began the ruthless attack on my mouth once again. Without warning, he parted my legs roughly and slipped a finger under my panties. I had a fleeting moment of panic over how quickly the evening had evolved, but it was quickly replaced by desire as his fingers made contact with my most private area.
Oh, yes. Just touch me – please.
Feeling more than willing, I easily pushed away the thought that we were moving to fast and allowed myself to just feel the pleasure of his touch. The throbbing between my spread thighs intensified and I ached to be satisfied.
“So wet,” he murmured, slipping one finger inside of me. I wanted to cry out from sheer ecstasy, but felt embarrassed by how turned on I was and held back.
He pulled his finger back out and ran it up my wet slit, spreading the moisture around. His thumb circled my clit as his finger moved back to push rhythmically in and out of me. Gathering my hair together with his free hand, he forced my head back, allowing his mouth better access to my neck. I moaned in pleasure from grazing of his lips and the torturous in and out motion of his hand.
“You like this,” he said, voice rough, as his hand tugged harder at my hair. Fire coursed through me, the ache turning into something vicious, and I could only moan again in response. “You want to come.”
“Yes, please!” I shamelessly begged. My body tried to writhe under the power of his circling thumb, but he held me still, not allowing me to move.
“I want to show you how you can come for me. Pain and pleasure, Krystina. Are you sure that you want to know?”
My body strained against him. I didn’t care what he did to me, just as long as he continued doing that with his hand.
“Yes, Alex. I want to know,” I breathed. He pulled his hand away, leaving me empty and gasping for more.
“Stand up and bend over the table.”
“Um, e-excuse me?” I stuttered over the question. My brain was in a fog and didn’t think that I had heard him correctly.
“I want you to bend over dining room table,” he repeated.
I slowly stood on shaky legs, my body trembling from the onslaught to my senses. I hesi
tated for a moment, the rational side of me rearing its ugly head.
Why does he want me bent over the table?
Alexander was able to read the uncertainty in my eyes, and he shook his head back and forth in a scolding manner. I suppressed the questions that swirled, and allowed him to turn me so that I was facing the table.
He pressed his hand to the small of my back and nudged me down so that I was bent at the waist, chest on the table. He pulled my arms up so that they were stretched over my head, locking them in a viselike grip with one hand. His body pressed into my back, and I could feel his hardness straining through his jeans. His other hand moved down past my waist to raise my skirt over my hips.
“I’ve wanted to tie up these fidgeting hands from the first minute I saw you.” His voice was hoarse in my ear. “But I don’t feel like wasting time going to get what I need. So for now, just leave them above your head and don’t move. I want you to be still.”
Oh, shit. He wants to physically tie me up!
I felt his weight shift as he moved to stand up behind me. He looped a finger under my panties, and slowly slipped them down my legs. I felt a shiver run down my spine in anticipation, as he worked his way back up my legs, leaving a trail of kisses along the back of my knees and thighs. His hands moved slowly over my behind, molding my cheeks in his palms.
“So beautiful,” he whispered. “Now open your legs for me, Krystina.”
I wavered, feeling exposed and vulnerable in this position. He must have sensed my reluctance, because he coaxed my legs apart and inserted his finger back between the soft folds of my entrance. He began that torturous circular motion all over again, while his other hand continued to caress my backside. The pleasure was unbearable and I moved my hands down to my sides, searching for something to hang onto.
He stopped suddenly, making me cry out in frustration.
“No, damn it – don’t stop,” I pleaded. I hated that I was begging, but I couldn’t help it if I tried. I was too far gone.
“Put your hands back above your head. I told you not to move them.”
I hurriedly put them back, my desire a violent force that I couldn’t control. It felt so good I wanted to scream from the feverish hunger that blazed inside me.
“That’s a good girl,” he murmured, and then with deliberate slowness, he began circling inside of me once again. “Have you ever heard of an erotic spanking?”
If he had asked me that question two days ago, I would have laughed in his face. The term just sounded ridiculous. But today, I could only hum in pleasure at the mere suggestion of it.
I felt a second finger slip inside me, curving and stroking the sensitive tissues. I closed my eyes, enjoying the electrifying sensation of his flexing fingers. In a matter of seconds, I was almost to the breaking point, a roar beginning in my ears.
His fingers pushed deeper inside of me and stilled.
“Oh, no…please –,” I started. But my words were cut off abruptly from the feel of a hard smack that he landed on my ass. I cried out, but not from pain. It was because of the constant stop and go of his merciless hand. He rubbed the cheek that he had slapped and then continued his assault with his fingers once again.
A second slap. The sting was more apparent this time, but his fingers didn’t stop, keeping up their perpetual rhythm.
If this was how he got his kicks, I didn’t care. I could handle it. This was beyond any erotic fantasy I had ever had. I would do anything he asked of me, just so long as he didn’t stop working his finger over my swollen nub.
“Do you want this?” he asked, his voice hoarse and raspy. He sounded as keyed up as I felt. I was surprised to find myself wishing for him to spank me again. It seemed wrong, yet so right at the same time.
“Oh, god yes…”
“Say it, Krystina. Tell me what you want.”
What does he want me to say?
I was terrified of getting it wrong and risk jeopardizing the release that I was so desperately searching for.
“This! I want this!”
“Not good enough.” A third slap. “Tell me what you want. Now. Tell me now!” he demanded.
I just screamed out the first thing that came to mind.
“I want to come!”
“My name, Krystina. Always say my name.”
“Alex! Make me come! Please, Alexander…don’t stop,” I begged, pure animal instinct kicking in to overdrive.
The motion of his fingers intensified, pumping faster inside of me, sweeping in and out and over my clit. A fourth hard smack landed on my behind. Then another, until I eventually lost count.
Stars collided in an explosion that reached an unbelievable height, as I felt myself go over the edge. My body tensed as my insides convulsed around his ruthless fingers. I involuntarily arched my back from the pleasure that rocked me, vibrating through to the very core of my being.
I gasped as Alexander slowly withdrew his fingers from me. He rubbed his hand up and down my back, allowing me a moment to just lay there, face down on the table, savoring in the aftermath of the most intense sexual experience I had ever had.
I knew now, without a shadow of a doubt, that I never had an orgasm with Trevor. And now that I knew what that warm, liquefying sensation was like, there was no going back. I was all Alexander’s to command.
Alexander guided me to a standing position and pulled down the skirt that was still hiked up around my hips. When I turned around to face him, his mouth met mine with the softest of kiss. As sweet as his lips were, I didn’t want gentle. He had shown me the meaning of true passion, hard and fierce, and I wanted more. I needed more. I intensified the kiss, pushing my tongue past his lips, pulling him closer to me. He moaned, giving in to my demand, as his hands framed my face, pressing himself hard against me.
When he pulled his lips away, I felt winded, my desire for him built up to a whole new level. I reached for him, my hands moving over his shoulders and down his chest, as I nipped my teeth along his neck. I tugged at his shirt, pulling it free from the waistband of his pants. I wanted to feel his bare flesh under my hands.
When my fingers made contact with the rock hard muscles of his abdomen, I felt him still under my touch. But I didn’t stop. I continued to work my hands up, over his contoured chest and then back down again to his belt buckle. I would have started to undo his pants, but he stopped me by capturing my hands with his.
“I want you, Krystina. Probably more than you know. God knows that I’ve waited long enough to have you. But not tonight – you need to decide if you really want this first.”
“Oh, trust me. I want this,” I said, reaching for him again.
“No, stop. I’m serious,” he said, pulling out of my reach and tucking his shirt back inside his pants.
“You don’t want to?” I asked, suddenly feeling confused.
“Fuck Krystina, I want you so bad that I ache. I can assure you, it’s not that,” he said, raking a hand through his hair. His face looked pained, tormented. “Being with me is not a decision you should make rashly. Submission is a gift, one that is not easily given. It takes a considerable amount of trust to put your body in the hands of someone else.”
“I wouldn’t be here tonight if I didn’t know what I was doing, Alex,” I said, crossing my arms in frustration.
“The way your body reacted tonight…so responsive. Almost too responsive,” he said pensively. “You need discipline. You’re untrained and I’ll need to teach you a lot. This won’t be easy for you. I’ll demand things from you that you might not be able to give. I won’t coddle you. It won’t be teddy bears and roses with me. If that’s what you’re expecting, you should walk now.”
“You don’t know anything about what I want,” I said stubbornly. “And as for the roses – I learned a long time ago to never expect that. Ever. You don’t have to be concerned about me.”
“Good. For once, we can agree on something,” he said with a small chuckle. “But in all seriousness, take at least twenty-four h
ours to think about this. I need you to make sure that you know exactly what you’re doing.”
“I want to do this, Alex. Taking a day to mull things over isn’t going to change that,” I persisted. Now that I had decided what I wanted, I was digging my heels in.
“Perhaps, but I’d prefer it if you had no regrets. If you decide tomorrow morning that you still want to give this a go, I promise to make it worth the wait,” he said with a devilish grin.
Oh, no. That bad-boy charm isn’t going to make me melt this time buddy.
But as I studied his face, a different reality set in.
He doesn’t want me. I’m being dismissed.
Rejection hit me in the chest like a tidal wave, effectively taking the breath out of me in a solid whoosh.
If he doesn’t want me, then fine. I don’t need him. Hell, I barely just made the decision to have sex again – I’m certainly not going to beg for it. Waiting another two years is no skin off my back.
“You know what? You’re right. I think it’s time for me to leave,” I pronounced suddenly. I marched over to where my shoes lay next to the dining room chair. I sat down and hastily began putting them on. I was so angry over his rejection that my hands shook, causing me to fumble with the buckle fastening.
“Let me help you,” Alexander said, kneeling on the floor in front of me and taking a hold of my foot.
“I don’t need your help,” I spat out. But I sat upright and let him put the shoe on anyway. It was either that, or I would continue to be a fumbling fool with the stupid shoe straps. Within seconds, he had both shoes securely fastened to my feet. His efficiency was infuriating.
“Krystina, look at me,” he said gently, rubbing his hand up and down my calf.
“No,” I hissed. Instead of doing as he asked, I deliberately looked the other way and crossed my arms. I knew that I probably looked like a pouting three year old, but I didn’t care. I’ve dealt with rejection before, but it was never quite like this. I had practically thrown myself at him a few minutes earlier. I didn’t know how I was supposed to react now.
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