I wondered if Alec was up. Just as Finn was leading me back to the house last night, I’d seen a woman approach Alec and lean against him suggestively. She had been eying him all night, and I briefly wondered if he took her up on her offer. I almost wish he did. He seemed lonely and I hoped he found some companionship, if only for one night. She had been attractive enough, if a few years his senior, and her intentions couldn’t have been clearer.
It would be a long while yet until Finn woke up, so I turned my steps toward the hill and the charred remains of the bonfire. I needed to take a walk, and didn’t care to be accosted by any of the men who so ardently complimented me the night before. For once, I was perfectly content to be alone, and strolled through the lush grass, images of last night replaying in my mind.
Chapter 22
Alec saw Valerie come into view as she turned the corner of the house and headed up the hill, walking serenely and smiling to herself. He couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy. Finlay certainly knew how to make her happy. She looked like a woman who had been well loved by her man. She had been so angry with him yesterday, but her fury dissolved as soon as he put his arms around her, drawing her away. Alec had watched Finn slide his hand down her skirt, Valerie’s lips parting in surprise and her eyes closing with pleasure as she leaned against him, surrendering to his touch.
A woman, whose name he could not recall at the moment, approached him, leaning into him and putting her hand on his cock. Ordinarily, he would have politely removed her hand and found a way to extract himself from the situation, but he had been too inflamed to push her away. He grabbed her by the arm and dragged her away from the bonfire into the first private spot he could find, pushing her to the ground and ramming himself inside her like a madman. Luckily, she didn’t seem to mind, and was only too eager to do it again, digging her fingers into his back and urging him to hurt her. He found physical relief, but his mind was in agony. He had adored Violet, but she never drove him to such mindless need. Their lovemaking had been sweet and tender, but he always held back a little afraid of frightening her or causing her pain. Every time he saw Valerie, he wanted to throw her on a bed, toss her legs over his shoulders and pound into her until they both burst into flames, consumed with lust.
“You are losing your mind, man,” he said to himself, turning from the window. “Find yourself a woman and stop panting after your brother’s. She doesn’t want you, fool.”
Chapter 23
“So, are you planning to give me an answer or not?” Finn asked, pulling me onto his lap in the walled garden and nuzzling my neck. “It has been more than a fortnight, and still you have not accepted me. Do you doubt my feelings, or are you holding out for a better offer?”
He seemed a little hurt, and I knew it was time to decide. We were halfway through July, and I couldn’t stall any longer. I had to admit that my bout of jealousy at the ball made me realize that losing Finn would hurt more than I ever thought possible. I hadn’t wanted to admit it to myself, but I was in love with him and I knew that he felt the same. What reason was there to say no? The chances of me going back to my own time became slimmer every day, and the only reservation I had was my inability to conceive in the past, or was it in the future? Finn would want a child, sooner rather than later, and he might resent me terribly if I couldn’t give him one. On the other hand, none of the tests that were so painfully conducted on me showed that there was anything physically wrong with me. Maybe Michael and I just weren’t compatible somehow and this time it would be different. The thought of seeing disappointment and resentment in Finlay’s eyes had kept me from giving him an answer until now, but I couldn’t stall any longer.
“Yes, Finn. I would be honored to be your wife.” His face lit up and he kissed me tenderly, pulling me close. “Let us go tell Alec then. We have to ask for his blessing since he is technically the head of the family.” Finn made a face at Alec being the head of anything, but pulled me to my feet and headed indoors to find his brother.
“Of course, you have my blessing. When is the wedding to be?” He kissed us both, wishing us joy and a long life together. I knew it wasn’t easy for him, but he put on a brave face. “There is no Catholic priest for miles, so you will have to get married in Plymouth. Father Stephen will perform the marriage ceremony, but we will have to find him first. Where is he hiding these days, do you know?”
Finlay shrugged. “Last I heard he was staying with Lady Beatrice in Plymouth, but he moves around frequently trying to avoid capture. I will make inquiries when I am in Plymouth next week. Lady Beatrice is sure to know. The old girl would never stand in the way of a wedding.” Finn seemed so happy that I felt I did the right thing. No couple knew what the future would bring, but happiness was a good place to start. I was happy too, and cautiously optimistic about our life together.
By the end of the day, we’d been congratulated by everyone in the castle, and the news of our engagement was official. Finn was planning to leave for Plymouth by the following day, his visit corresponding with the docking of Lady Violet. He would be gone for about a week, using the time to discover the whereabouts of the priest. If he couldn’t get hold of Father Stephen, we would have to be married at the parish church which the brothers attended routinely as part of their cover. One did not advertise Catholicism, and appearances had to be maintained.
I said goodbye to Finlay the following morning, and watched him gallop through the gates and down the road leaving a cloud of dust in his wake. I wasn’t sure what to do with myself in the meantime, so I went to the kitchen to visit Cook. I was longing for a cup of tea and a chat with another woman. Nell was too young and had been awfully sour lately, and Betty spent every spare moment up in her bedroom, sewing herself a wedding dress. She had confided in me that there was an understanding between her and her young man, and they would be married as soon as Toby had enough money to buy her a proper ring. Betty wasn’t sure if she would go live down on the farm with him, or if he would come to the castle to live with her and go to the farm to do his work every day. Betty intended to continue working for the Whitfields for as long as she could.
I descended down into the kitchen and was warmly welcomed by Mrs. Dobbs. “Sit yerself down, me dear; I will put the kettle on. Are ye feeling peckish?”
“Thank you, Mrs. Dobbs, I’ve eaten already, but I won’t say no to a cup of tea. How have you been?”
“Oh, as well as can be expected, love. Happy for ye and Mr. Finlay. Too bad the wedding will not be ‘ere for all of us to enjoy, but I understand the reasons.” She gave me a conspiratorial wink and went about making the tea. “Before ye know it, Betty will be wed and leave us too. If that girl is anything like her mother, she’ll be with child as soon as Toby unlaces his breeches.”
“Do you have children, Mrs. Dobbs?” I never thought to inquire before, and I suddenly wondered if I should have kept quiet.
“That I do, me dear. We have four daughters, John and I, all married now. Two in Cornwall, and two down Plymouth way. I long to visit ‘em, but we cannot leave the castle unattended, and they are all too busy with their children to spare their old folks a visit. We had a boy too, but he died when he was just a babe. We were lucky to lose only one,” she added with a sigh. “I reckon it will not be long until Mr. Finlay gets ye with child. It will be lovely to have a baby about the place again. There has not been one since Mr. Charles.”
“Mrs. Dobbs, where is Rose? Did she elope against her parents’ wishes?”
Mrs. Dobbs shook her head with disapproval. “She ran away all right, but not with a man. Rose was always a strange girl, talking about the martyrs and saints all the time, the more gruesome the death, the more interested she was. Fascinated with St. Catherine, saying she wanted to be the Bride of Christ just like her, and consecrate her virginity onto the Lord. When Rose turned sixteen, the Master tried to arrange a marriage for her with the son of one of his acquaintances. He was a nice-looking lad with good prospects, but she locked herself in ‘er room,
refusing to eat, swearing she would be defiled by no man. I would take defilement over starvation any day,” said Mrs. Dobbs with a wink, and went on with her story.
“When the Flux had come, Rose was still locked in her room, so she never got ill. She would not help with the nursing, or even say goodbye to ‘er parents as they lay dying. Mr. Charles begged for her, but she would not come to him and comfort him as a sister should. He was just a little boy, scared and lonely and in need of some comfort. By the time Mr. Alec and Mr. Finn came back, she was gone. She left ‘em a letter, saying she was going to a convent in France to serve Our Savior and not to bother trying to contact her. She was taking a vow of silence and renouncing the outside world. They needed her ‘ere and she abandoned them with a small child and eight corpses to bury. No one has heard from her since.”
Mrs. Dobbs spat in disgust, and poured me another cup of tea. Clearly she didn’t think much of saving yourself for the Lord. Truthfully, neither did I. I could understand why the brothers never mentioned Rose. What was there to say? I thanked Mrs. Dobbs for the tea and went back. I’d promised to help Alec to balance his ledger. He was overjoyed to find that I had a head for numbers, since he hated accounting. I was only too happy to help. It gave me something to do and helped the time go by while Finlay was away.
Chapter 24
I woke up the following morning to rain lashing the windows, the room lost in shadow. We had enjoyed a spell of wonderful weather, but today looked like a monsoon was coming, with pouring rain and gusty winds that made the rain look as if it was falling horizontally and sent branches flying past the windows. I snuggled into the coverlet, permitting myself another half an hour in bed. I didn’t finish the ledger yesterday, but there was no rush since Alec was no doubt still asleep. I hadn’t heard him come down.
There was a knock on the door, and Nell edged her way into the room bearing a tray laden with tea and freshly baked scones. “Mrs. Dobbs sent up some tea on account of the weather. Thought ye might like a lie-in.” She set the tray down on the table by the window and took her leave without another word. The girl had been more sour than usual lately, making me wonder if something was wrong. Maybe she felt a little left out since her brother would be marrying Betty in the near future, and things would change at home. I wondered if perhaps she would be a good match for Robbie in due time, but she didn’t seem interested in him any more than he was interested in her. She was still very young and probably going through some growing pains.
Mrs. Dobbs was quite right, I thought, as I poured steaming tea into a fine china cup, adding a splash of fresh cream and reaching for a scone. I would like a lie-in, right after I had my decadent breakfast. I was amazed that I hadn’t gained weight, eating like I did. The tea was surprisingly sweet, but I didn’t mind, as I took a sip and bit into the buttery scone, filled with blueberries freshly picked in the woods by Nell. I finished my breakfast and went back to bed, falling asleep again and waking up only when a branch struck my window making me jump up with fright.
It was almost noon, so I got dressed and went downstairs to find Alec. He was already in his study, staring at the ledger and running his hands through his hair in frustration.
“Oh, good, you are here. Look at this. I just cannot reconcile the figures and it’s driving me mad.”
He did indeed look mad, so I took over the ledger, starting from the beginning. I must have been working for about twenty minutes when I felt a strange pain in my stomach. Too many scones, I chided myself and tried to concentrate on the figures. My head was beginning to hurt, and I had a hard time seeing the figures on the page. I looked up at Alec and saw the alarm on his face.
“Valerie? Are you ill?”
“Just a slight headache, no doubt brought on by your sloppy accounting. I’ll be all right in a moment.” I closed my eyes, and leaned back against the chair rubbing my temples. Another sharp pain tore through my belly, as a wave of nausea overwhelmed me. I had just enough time to turn away from the desk, before throwing up all over the floor. I wrapped my arms around my middle trying to stop the pain ripping through me, and nearly fell out of the chair in the process. Alec was at my side in a moment, lifting me out of the chair and carrying me up to my room, gently depositing me on the bed and calling for Betty through the open door.
“Tell Robbie to go for the doctor right away.”
Betty gave him a doubtful look. “The road will be impassable from this hard rain. It will take hours.”
“Do as I say,” he roared at her, scaring her into action. Betty ran out of the room, presumably to go find Robbie, but I didn’t care. My head was pounding as if someone took a sledgehammer to it and my guts were twisting and churning, making me writhe on the bed in agony. All this was punctuated by vomiting, despite the fact that surely there was nothing left in my stomach. Alec held my head over a basin and wiped my face with a damp towel after every bout, smoothing my hair out of my face. I could hear him praying quietly when he thought I dozed off, asking God to spare me. I was slipping in and out of consciousness, and thought I had seen Nell peeking through the door once or twice, but couldn’t be sure.
It was almost fully dark outside, a single candle burning on the bedside table, casting shadows across Alec’s worried face. Oh, God, I thought, was this the bloody flux that killed the rest of the family? Is that what Alec thought it was? I could feel my stomach roiling, and I needed to use the chamber pot, but didn’t want to do it in front of Alec. I begged him to leave, so he sent in Betty to help me, waiting until he was allowed back in the room. We repeated this procedure half a dozen times, before I thought I would simply die of pain and embarrassment. I was so dizzy that I could barely even sit on the pot, much less get back into bed, and Betty did her best to assist me.
I have no idea what time the doctor finally showed up. The man was dripping wet, casting resentful looks at Alec as he ordered him to leave the room so he could examine me in private. By this time, I was so weak and dehydrated that I didn’t care if he sawed me in half. I just hoped he could do something to help me. He pushed and prodded, making me moan with pain until he finally called Alec back in.
“Is it the flux, Dr. Marsh?” Alec looked grave in the candlelight and I hoped for his sake it wasn’t.
“I do not believe so, Mr. Whitfield. It appears that Mistress Crane has been poisoned. A large dose of arsenic, meant to kill her. She could not have ingested that by mistake. Someone had to have intentionally given it to her. I believe that she has purged most of it by vomiting, but some is still in her system. She should be better by morning. She needs fluids and I will have her bled now, and once again tomorrow before I leave.”
“No,” I moaned. “No bleeding.” The doctor gave me an irritated look and turned back to Alec, ignoring me.
“I do not believe the fetus has been harmed. The heartbeat is strong and it should pull through.”
“The fetus?” Alec asked, bemused.
“Yes. You didn’t know she was with child? About six weeks I would say. I do not think the arsenic had a chance to enter Mistress Crane’s bloodstream, so the baby should be fine. Congratulations, sir.”
“Ah, thank you. It isn’t my child. It’s my brother’s,” he mumbled, trying to absorb the idea that someone tried to kill me.
The doctor took out a metal basin and a fleam out of his leather satchel, tying a tourniquet around my arm. I tried to struggle, but I was too feeble to throw off Alec, who held me down as the doctor punctured the skin and tapped into my vein. Crimson blood flowed into the basin, making me feel sick again, and bringing on a bout of dry heaves. Alec wiped my face, whispering endearments to me to the astonishment of the doctor. He rearranged his face into a bland expression, and continued with the bleeding. I hoped the fleam had at least been cleaned before passing out once again.
Chapter 25
I woke up the following morning to find weak sunshine streaming through my window. The rain had passed, leaving the sky a washed-out shade of blue, dotted with thick clouds
lazily floating by. Alec was sprawled in a chair next to my bed sound asleep, his hair tousled, and his jaw covered by the stubble of a day-old beard. His shirt bore evidence of my struggle with blood, vomit and God knows what else covering the once white fabric. He looked exhausted, with dark circles under his eyes and deep lines around his mouth. I took a mental inventory of my organs, and I thought I could account for most of them. My stomach felt raw and hollow, and even the thought of food brought on a wave of nausea which I managed to fight down, proud of my self-control. My head still ached, but more dully now, and my eyes were sensitive to the light. I put a hand on my heart, counting the beats. My heartbeat was shallow and muffled, but steady.
Suddenly, the memory of last night hit me like a bolt of lightning. Did the doctor say I was pregnant or was it my fevered imagination? He said something about the fetus being strong. I felt a ray of hope, praying I hadn’t dreamed the whole thing. I would ask Alec when he woke. On the other hand, the doctor also said something about someone trying to kill me. Did I dream that too? Who would want to kill me, and why? I closed my eyes and lay back quietly. Surely, I had dreamed the whole thing. There was no baby and no killer, just my hallucinations. I wished Finn would come; but no, he was in Plymouth looking for a priest. I couldn’t remember what that was for. My head felt stuffed with cotton, so I closed my eyes allowing myself to drift off on a cloud of white wool, floating through the sky toward the golden rays of the sun.
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