He sank to earth with a smile on his face, and listened to his heart beat against hers. It was a comforting sensation, a comforting sound.
He felt her breath along his face, felt her chest move slowly up and down beneath his. Belatedly, he realized that she was pinned beneath him.
“I’m crushing you.” But as he began to shift away from her, Savannah’s arms went around him.
“Not yet,” she entreated. “Just a little longer.”
The request undid him. Desire, fresh and reborn, sprang up in the wake of the contentment that had, only a second before, spread over him. How the hell could she manage that—to make him want her all over again so quickly? What was it about her that was so different, so compelling?
He raised himself up on his elbows and looked down into her face. Definitely a face like an angel. As for her body… He felt her move. Felt himself hardening. Felt his mouth curve.
“Don’t ask for much, do you?”
She could feel him wanting her, and knowing that made her soar. A smile beginning from the innermost core worked its way out, pervading her body, her heart. She smiled in invitation.
“I try not to.”
He nipped at her lower lip, catching it between his teeth and suckling it before anointing her chin with his tongue. She moved ever more urgently beneath him. Arousal gripped him more firmly.
Cruz watched in amusement as Savannah’s eyes widened. He laughed softly at the surprise he saw there. He kissed her neck, then whispered against her ear.
“What can I say? You are an inspiration.”
With no thought of looking back, she gave herself up to him.
Savannah stirred. Something warm was draped over her. Cruz? She opened her eyes and saw that it was only a blanket. He wasn’t next to her.
Sadness shot long, tenuous threads through her as she shifted to her other side, ready to get up. Cruz was sitting on her other side, between her and the fireplace. Looking at her.
What was he thinking? She couldn’t read his expression. Was he regretting what had happened? Or was it the baby inside her he regretted? Awake, without the magical mist of lovemaking to mute her thoughts, uneasiness found its home within her again.
Blinking, she tried to focus on something other than the fact that she was completely nude beneath the blanket. And that he was the same, without one. He seemed utterly unselfconscious, despite not having a stitch on.
He was magnificent, she thought.
“What time is it?”
What would it be like, he mused, to be married? To be married to her? He’d seen plenty of marriages, both happy and not, but he’d never cast himself in the role of a husband, a father. It had just never occurred to him to think along those lines.
But now there was a woman—a woman with his child in her belly—and he thought about it. All through the night, as she lay beside him, sleeping, he thought about it.
Would it change him?
Of course, it would change him. It would change everything. But would he mind so much, if it were with her? He honestly didn’t know.
She was looking at him, and he realized that she’d asked a question and was waiting for an answer.
“Late.” And then he shrugged, a bemused smile working its way forward. “Or early, depending on your way of looking at things.” He glanced toward the front window. It was still dark outside. “It stopped raining.”
Feeling awkward, Savannah sat up and gathered the blanket around her. She’d stayed too long. “I should be getting back.”
He caught her wrist, restraining her. Savannah looked at him, puzzled. Afraid to entertain hopes that insisted on springing up.
“You could stay the rest of the night. Ride back with me in the morning.”
She couldn’t tell by his tone if the invitation was sincere, or if he was just extending it because of his damnable sense of duty again. She pushed the envelope a little. “Do you want me to?”
He released her wrist. “It’d be safer.”
Savannah drew herself up on her knees, the blanket tucked around her like a colorful toga. “That’s not what I asked.”
What was it that she wanted from him? He was trying, wasn’t he? He’d offered to marry her, hadn’t he? Why did she insist on prodding him, on probing his mind? “No, but it’s what I answered.”
Savannah sank back on her heels. “Yes, it is.” And she had her answer in that. Dragging her hand through her hair, she sighed and made up her mind. “I’d better go.” Rising, she held the blanket tightly against her as she began to pick up her clothes.
He didn’t want her out there, alone. People got lost riding around in the dark. Angry at her refusal, he snapped at her. “I said I’d take you back in the morning.”
His anger provoked her own. With her clothes hugged close to her, she glared at him. “I’m not a library book you have to return to the shelf. You don’t have to ‘take’ me anywhere.”
Just who the hell did he think he was—her disgruntled, reluctant guardian angel? She didn’t need to be protected, or taken care of. There was only one thing she wanted from him, and he apparently couldn’t give her that.
She tossed her hair over her bare shoulder. “I’m very capable of getting around by myself. I found your place in the dark, didn’t I? I can find my way back just fine, thank you very much.”
Incensed, Cruz rose to his feet, unfazed by his nakedness. He fought the urge to shake some sense into her head.
“Why do you have to be so stubborn?” he shouted at her.
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s the company I keep.”
Suddenly hearing herself, Savannah bit her lip. With effort, she subdued the anger that threatened to overwhelm her. This wasn’t going to get them anywhere, and it wasn’t the kind of ending she wanted to the evening they’d just spent.
“Look, I didn’t come here for this. To yell and be yelled at. I just came to tell you that I wasn’t turning down your proposal because of any absurd notion that I could ‘do better’ than you.” Her heart was in her eyes as she looked at him, admitting more than her words did. “I really couldn’t. No woman could.”
If she felt that way, why wasn’t she accepting his proposal? He didn’t really want to get married, but he had helped to create this child and it deserved a name, a home.
“Then I don’t understand—”
Was he that blind? That insensitive? “I don’t want you to marry me because you have to. These are the nineties. Nobody has to get married anymore.”
“They do if they have a sense of responsibility.”
“I am not a responsibility, Cruz.” I’m a person. “The baby is not a responsibility—”
Sarcasm twisted his mouth. “Several statutes of the law would disagree with you.”
She wasn’t interested in the law, in fine points hammered out by opposing lawyers. She was interested in feelings. She’d felt guilty and worthless, watching her parents go through the confining charade of a loveless marriage for the very reasons he was now attempting to drive home.
Weary, she surrendered a point. “Fine. If it makes you feel any better, you can contribute to the baby’s support.”
“Checks?” he asked sarcastically.
She was tired, and he was haggling. Her temper frayed. “Cash if you wish.” Exasperated, she threw up one hand. The blanket slipped a little and she yanked it back into place. “Ponies, colored beads, rocks, whatever you want, I don’t care.”
“What about seeing the baby?”
That had never been in dispute. “Any time you want. I intend to tell the baby who his or her father is. You won’t be a secret.” She’d never intended to withhold his identity from her child.
She looked around for somewhere to change. There had to be a room beyond this one. Seeing a doorway, she turned toward it.
“Savannah.”
She looked at him over her shoulder. “What?”
“Don’t go yet.”
The request was tendered in a softer ton
e, but she was having trouble getting a grip on her roller-coastering emotions. And looking at him like that was hard on her. Because, angry or not, she wanted him again. Would always want him.
“Why?” she demanded. “Because you want to yell at me some more?”
“No.” He crossed to her and laid a hand on her arm, not to restrain her but to entreat her. “Because I want to make love with you some more.”
“I was just going to get dressed—”
He took her clothes from her, dropping them to the floor. “You can get dressed later. Your clothes aren’t going anywhere.”
And neither was she, she thought. Still, she knew she shouldn’t be giving in this easily “But I—”
Very gently, he took her hands in his. The blanket sank to the floor. “Anyone ever tell you that you talk too much?”
Desire rose, as urgent, as demanding as the first time. Perhaps even more, goaded by the knowledge that forever loomed on the horizon and it was barren because there was no sign of him in it.
“No, you’re the first.”
“Good.” His arms closed around her. “I like being the first.”
Savannah stayed.
Eleven
When Savannah finally returned to the main house, the sun had been up for some time. She wondered if anyone had noticed that she was missing. The house was huge enough for the others to assume that she was somewhere else within the multi-room structure.
Vanessa and Devin being newlyweds, Savannah doubted either would notice she wasn’t there. And as for Claudia and Matthew, they had enough on their minds, with the strain the kidnapping was putting on them, without wondering what had become of the ranch’s new bookkeeper.
Cruz leaned forward on his horse. “You’re blushing,” he whispered.
He found it intriguing that the woman who aroused his passion so fully and fed it so well could turn an endearing shade of pink because she was returning from a night of lovemaking.
“I just don’t want them thinking that I, that we…”
“What does it matter what anyone thinks?” He had always acted according to his own set of rules, not anyone else’s. “You are over twenty-one and your own person,” he reminded her. “If you want to make love from now until Christmas, it’s not anyone’s business but your own.”
“Mine and the doctors who’d be treating me after I collapsed from exhaustion,” Savannah added dryly.
He was right, of course. It was her business. Hers and his. But she wasn’t the type to live in a vacuum, and other people’s opinions did matter. At least, the opinions of people she liked.
Ruben had already been up for hours and was hard at work when he saw his son and Savannah ride in. Pausing, he smiled to himself as he watched them approach.
They looked good together, he thought, she with her hair the color of sun-kissed gold and he with his the color of midnight. Their children would be beautiful when they came.
All that was needed was for his son to open his eyes and see what was in front of him for the taking. Not dreams that might not happen, but reality that could.
Even from where she was, Savannah could see a wide smile lifting Ruben’s features, making him look younger. She could detect a little of Cruz in the older man, or was that the other way around?
Ruben said nothing to them, only nodded. But Savannah had the definite impression that he was pleased to see them together.
It was a far cry from the way her parents would have reacted had they seen her with Cruz. Though there was no outward display of affection from them, she was their daughter, and thus, in their eyes, an extension of them—of the family name. Certain things were not permitted and were severely frowned on. That included fraternizing with the help.
The word fraternizing made her smile briefly.
Because of her parents, she understood Cruz’s feelings about being prejudged and found lacking simply because of an accident of birth. She had known people like that, lived with people like that. People who judged others by family tree, by station, by the size of a bank account or an address, rather than by the only thing that mattered: their true inner worth.
But she was not her parents’ daughter in anything but genetic composition. She had her own rules, her own heart to follow.
Except this time, Savannah thought. She couldn’t go where her heart wanted her to.
Aside from a nod in greeting, Cruz said nothing to his father as he dismounted. He looked at Savannah. “Maybe I’ll see you later.” He stepped back as she dismounted, then took the reins from her hand. “I’ll take care of the horse. You go on.”
She’d already told him that she was late for work, and Cruz didn’t want her getting into trouble on his account. It was his fault they were as late as they were, he thought. And hers for being so damn desirable. She’d spurred him on to a greater level of endurance and performance than he’d ever dreamed of achieving. There was something about the woman that left him forever wanting more.
And that wasn’t good.
Savannah nodded her thanks as she surrendered Pixie Dust’s reins. She made no response to his comment about seeing her later. Though he had been the one to say it, she felt it was probably just a throwaway line. She didn’t want to seem as if she were eager to be with him again.
Right. As if the man couldn’t have guessed from what had happened last night and this morning, Savannah thought sarcastically. An idiot would have been able to figure that out, and Cruz was far from stupid.
If only…
There was and would be no “if only,” and she was just going to have to make her peace with that, Savannah upbraided herself. The fact that she now knew she was in love with him only strengthened her resolve not to marry Cruz and ruin his life.
Though it might never even be mentioned, Cruz would never forgive her for that, and neither would she.
Without a backward glance, she hurried away from him and toward the house.
There was a moving van parked in the driveway. The driver, a short, well-muscled man, was just loading something in through the rear doors as she approached. Devin’s car was parked several feet in front of the van. Behind his car was the one that Vanessa drove.
Realizing just how late she was, Savannah hurried into the house and almost collided with Vanessa.
Vanessa grabbed both Savannah’s hands to steady her. “So there you are, finally,” she declared, breathless from running around. “Out for an early morning ride?”
Savannah started to correct the lie, then decided to leave it alone. There was no point in telling Vanessa that she’d spent the night with Cruz. Vanessa wouldn’t understand how she could do that and still refuse to marry him. It would make no sense to her friend.
Sometimes, Savannah thought, it barely made sense to her.
“It was so pretty this morning, after the storm,” Savannah said evasively, leaving Vanessa to draw her own conclusions.
Seeming preoccupied, Vanessa nodded as her eyes swept over two large boxes that had yet to be loaded into the van. Turning, she smiled warmly at Savannah. “I didn’t want to go without saying goodbye.”
The word had such a final, dismissive sound to it. Savannah had never realized how much she hated it before. “Goodbye?”
“Yes. Well, it’s more like ‘so long,’ but you know what I mean.” She laughed. “You forgot, didn’t you? I can understand. Being with Cruz will do that to anyone.” She shifted the conversation quickly. “Today’s the day Devin and I are finally moving to his place in San Antonio.”
It all came back to her now. She’d completely forgotten about it last night when she’d gone to see Cruz. And after she saw him, everything had slipped her mind.
Savannah felt an overwhelming pang taking hold. Vanessa was leaving. Granted, over the last few weeks she’d made friends with many of the people who were involved in keeping the Double Crown running so efficiently, but it was Vanessa’s presence that she treasured. She was going to sorely miss seeing Vanessa every day.
Just when she was getting used to the way things were, they changed on her.
“You’re right,” Savannah admitted. “I did forget—”
Vanessa took her hands in both of hers. “Oh, don’t look so sad. I’m going to San Antonio, not outer space. I’ll still be coming back to the ranch. We’ll still get together.”
Savannah knew that Vanessa believed what she was saying. But between her new husband and her work as a psychologist, not to mention setting up housekeeping in San Antonio, Vanessa was going to be extremely busy. The pace would leave little time for visiting.
“And you,” Vanessa said pointedly, still holding her hands as if she were waiting to extract a promise from Savannah, “can always come out to our place and see San Antonio.”
Savannah had had more than enough of large cities. Life on the Double Crown suited her far better now. “I’ve seen San Antonio. This is nicer.”
Vanessa slipped an arm around Savannah’s shoulders. “You can’t beat it for peacefulness,” Vanessa agreed. “And almost anywhere you ride, there’s a view that makes you want to cry—”
“What’s this about crying?” Devin asked, coming up behind them. He laid a hand on each woman’s shoulder.
Laughing, Vanessa turned her head to look at him. “Nothing. You wouldn’t understand.” She inclined her head toward Savannah, pretending to share a secret in a stage whisper. “Men never understand about tears.”
“Yes, we do. It’s a woman’s deadliest weapon.” Affection graced Devin’s eyes as he looked at his wife. “She uses it to get her way.”
Vanessa shivered. “That’s politically incorrect, my love.”
“But not without a germ of truth.” Another warm glance passing between them, he kissed the top of Vanessa’s head.
Savannah felt her chest tighten in envy. She was happy for Vanessa, for both of them. But it would have been nice if…
There it was again. If. The word was going to be the death of her.
Devin glanced at his watch. “We’d better get going, Vanessa.”
She nodded, but made no effort to move. “In a minute.” She looked at Devin. “I just want to talk to Savannah before we leave.”
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