by Anne Leigh
And when he finally talked, he’d said, “That right there is one of my biggest fears.” Then he’d proceeded to kiss me in a way that made me breathless, gasping for air.
As my friends talked about what they did during the day, sunbathing, wakeboarding, and hanging out around the water, I got a sense of what true belonging really felt like.
This.
Right now.
Right at this moment.
Is what it felt like to have found your people, your niche in life.
I never had to pretend with them.
Denton, Dyan, Liam, and even Mario who was busy with a girl at the moment – they were my people.
And Webb, the man who held my heart in his hands – he was my person.
I’d lived a life so close to the edge. Not in the adventurous way but rather in a permanent, terminal way.
I’d known, felt what it was like to be surrounded by the loss of hope because none of the treatments were working.
I’d never climbed Mt. Everest and probably never would.
People chased adventures every day to give meaning to their lives.
I know I never have to because in my heart, I know that all the adventures in the world would never amount to this.
The joy coming from friends.
The love pouring out of Webb.
I watched as Webb took a chip from our shared plate and aimed it directly at Liam’s forehead to which Liam retaliated with a bigger chip that hit Webb’s mouth.
We all laughed because they were being so ridiculous.
Ridiculous was good.
It was great.
And my greatest fear?
I’m finding out that it’s not climbing the highest peaks or swimming the deepest trenches.
It’s not the thought of my illness coming back or me getting kidnapped again.
No, there was one thing that was three times worse than what I’d mentioned.
It would be –
Losing my friends.
Losing my family.
Losing Webb.
Losing…everything.
Before Athena entered my life, I was doing fine.
I’d left the SEALs and started exploring feasible options for me to apply my specific skills set in a job that I’d like.
My future looked good and everything was fine.
Now as I laid here in bed with her head on my left shoulder, after spending half of the night making love to her, I no longer felt fine.
I felt...happy.
Satisfied.
Content.
Infused with a type of energy that I’d never experienced before.
I’d never really tried to philosophize love and all that shit. I always thought that if I was in love, I’d know it.
And I had.
Before Athena, I’d loved another woman.
I couldn’t compare the two because it would not be fair to Caterina and back then, I was at a different stage in my life.
Athena’s love didn’t come with conditions.
She just loved me…
I felt it in the way she gave herself to me, as if she surrendered everything without making it feel like a sacrifice.
I saw it in the way she looked at me, especially when she gave me that secret smile where her lips turned slightly up on one side and a grin threatened to burst, it’s as if she can’t take her eyes off of me.
It used to annoy me that Denton was always stuck by her side in the beginning. But now it didn’t bother me because the way Athena looked at Denton was nowhere near in comparison to the way her eyes burned with heat whenever she looked at me.
She stirred in her sleep and tucked her head under my chin, needing more of my warmth so I gently pulled her head closer to me.
I love you, sonnenschein.
Kissing the top of her head, I scented the coconut and mango shampoo that she used. She wasn’t stuck to one brand, she loved to try different types of hair products; hence why my bathroom now looked like a store for fragrance and bath and body products.
I liked seeing her stuff in my place. The colorful hair clips and pins that she used, the weird-looking brushes that she tried, and the many little knick knacks that even I couldn’t tell you what they were for.
I pulled her body tighter, closer to my naked one. She still liked to wear her cotton pajamas to bed and though I’d rather feel her skin instead of fabric, I broke no objections because it was comfortable for her.
I never thought that I’d fall in love with someone like her.
After Caterina’s scorn and Ryder’s death, I’d barricaded my heart from experiencing another heartbreak.
It took me forever to act on my attraction to the woman who was slightly snoring beside me.
She was younger than me.
She was my detail.
She deserved so much more…than me.
But Athena had taught me that age didn’t mean jack when it came to attraction.
And me being her bodyguard didn’t stand a chance when my feelings for her started overfilling the barrel of heartache and sorrow that I’d imprisoned myself in.
Her love for me helped chip away the years of regret that I’d forcibly submerged myself in.
Her love for me had started me on a path of forgiving myself about what had happened to my son, that maybe, just maybe, I did everything that I could and what happened was meant to happen and that no matter how much I blamed myself, there was nothing I could do.
It’s a slow process and I didn’t know how long it would take, and maybe I never would, but I had to believe that I would reach a level of acceptance with Ryder’s fate.
“Webb…” Her lips opened up to whisper my name.
I rubbed a finger on her lower lip and said, “I’m here, babe.”
“Mmmkay.” A satisfied hum escaped her and in a few seconds, her breathing became even again and she would be lost in deep sleep.
I turned my head to check the time on my side table.
1:49 AM
With Athena’s even breaths and warm body by my side, I felt myself being lulled to sleep.
When I was a SEAL, I functioned at a high level with three hours of sleep. I’d gone on missions where sleeping for that amount of time was a luxury. Being in the cold deserts was never conducive to one’s REM, but my body got used to it.
Nowadays, I got away with six hours of sleep. Anything more than that, my body felt sluggish.
My woman, on the other hand, loved to sleep in. She was cranky when she had less than seven.
I settled my head on my pillow, and let my mind relax.
I started thinking about what to make Athena for breakfast. She still had a couple of days off before her college life started again.
Maybe I’ll make her a bauernfruhstuck tomorrow.
Yeah, that was easy enough.
I loved feeding her.
My cock stirred. Yeah, I loved feeding her with that too.
Breakfast, Webb. Breakfast.
I couldn’t wake her up now for a 1AM quickie because she’d just gone to sleep an hour and a half earlier since we spent the whole evening watching Thor, The Huntsman: Winter’s War, and she’d drifted off when The Avengers was playing.
She’d wanted her fix of that blonde guy, Chris Hemsworth. I couldn’t even get jealous of the dude because he was really good-looking and built. And from what Athena said, he was married with a bunch of kids. And it wasn’t as if Athena would ever get a hall pass to sleep with other men. I sure wasn’t handing it out, whether he was a fictional character or not.
I started feeling the tension on my shoulders at the thought of Athena sleeping with other men so I reached for her arms and started caressing her soft skin.
No, babe, you’d never get a Hall Pass from me.
No, I won’t ever want a Hall Pass from you.
And yes, tomorrow, I’m making you a breakfast skillet.
I pressed a soft kiss on her lips and closed my eyes, letting my mind wander to the curve
of Athena’s lips…
The soft gentle sloping of her face.
The bewitching beauty of her hazel eyes.
My pulse started to slow down and I felt the pull of slumber slowly, slowly enticing me.
I whispered, “Goodnight sonnenschein.”
And I let sleep take over me.
“Do you need more sunscreen, babe?” I asked Athena as she stretched on the portable beach lounger beside me.
She lifted her sunglasses from her face and shook her head, “No, I think I’m good for the next five years.”
I gave her ass that was barely-covered in a mint green bikini a slap.
Sassy woman.
“Are you complaining?” I lowered my Oakley’s so she could see my expression.
“No, but I think you’re making the girls,” her head swiveled to the side, “over there uncomfortable…”
I eyed the three women that she was referring to. They were cute and all in their barely-there swimsuits, but they didn’t hold a candle to the alluring woman laid out in front of me.
“Who the fuck cares?” I snickered, I couldn’t help it if my touches have lingered way more than what was allowed in public and if I’d applied sunscreen on all the exposed parts that her one-piece didn’t cover. I didn’t want her getting sunburnt.
Yeah, yeah. Keep telling that to yourself.
She giggled and said, “Webb, if you keep lathering that sunscreen on me like that, I’d have to go back in the car.”
“Like what?”
“Like you want to go exploring inside my swimsuit,” she replied and flexed her head.
“I do babe.” I replied, shrugging my shoulders, “I always do.”
“You just had me. Three times. This morning.”
Her reasoning always amused me. As if I could just contain my attraction to her and keep it off after every time we made love or fucked or had sex.
“So? It doesn’t mean shit babe. I’m hard as a rock right now because you’re close to me and even though this sunscreen is sticky, I’d apply it a hundred times so your delicate skin doesn’t get toasted from the sun.”
A long sigh lifted from her pink lips, “Thank you, handsome. Thanks for protecting my skin and for making me feel beautiful and sexy all the time.”
I lowered my head to her ears and whispered. “You are, babe. You are so fucking sexy that if it wasn’t for my promise that I’d take you to the beach today, I’d gladly take you back to my place and give you a solid fucking so you won’t ever doubt that.”
Her breath hitched and I knew I was turning her on. It didn’t take much with Athena. I could her give a look or say a dirty word and she’d be rearing to go.
“Tonight handsome.” I knew she was conceding because she wanted to be out today and she’d said that she missed the fresh ocean breeze.
I gave her ass a light smack and sat up to adjust myself in my trunks. “Aight, I’ll leave you to your music and I’ll be back in another fifteen to reapply your sunscreen.”
A warm smile spread over her face. “You going for a run?”
“Yeah.” I nodded my head and stood up to warm my legs, feeling the sand on my feet. “Liam’s close by.”
“Isn’t he always?”
“Yup, he is,” I said, shielding my eyes with my sunglasses. For eighty-degree weather, the breeze was cool, but the sun’s rays were already out in full force.
“Mmmhhhmmm…” She hummed before placing the earbuds back in her ears. In two minutes, I knew she’d be falling asleep which was why I had to be vigilant in keeping her skin protected from the harmful UV rays. That, and I just wanted to feel her skin between my hands.
“I’m not taking any chances with your safety, beautiful,” I said, mostly to myself. I looked around and Liam was right there, ten feet away, talking to a woman whose bathing suit was smaller than dental floss. He was chatting with her, but I knew his eyes were on us.
He wasn’t going to take any chances with my girl’s safety either.
Not after everything that had happened to her.
No, there would never be a repeat of that.
As long as I was breathing, Athena was going to be safe.
And it didn’t matter if I was standing on solid ground or not, as long as my lungs were inflating and deflating on their own accord, I would fight to hell and back for her.
Because right here, lounging on the foldable plastic chair, was the woman who breathed life back into me.
And I would do, give, sacrifice-
Every.
Single.
Thing.
That I had.
For her.
“I’ll see you next week, A-bug,” Dad said before saying goodbye. He was speaking at a conference in Atlanta today and as much as I missed him, it was nice to hear the excitement in his voice.
The past months had been hard on all of us.
The threats to my dad and my family came out of the blue and they were something that we weren’t used to.
My dad wasn’t a politician or a lawyer. His profession shouldn’t have exposed him to these dire security threats.
He was a scientist for Christmas’ sake, (and I say Christmas because it’s a time for happiness), and all he wanted to do was to make the world a better place.
Just because he had a mind that almost equaled Einstein shouldn’t have made him vulnerable to the attacks of an international crime lord.
It was all saddening really.
I had to have a bodyguard because the bad guys wanted to use me against my father.
Only the sickest people could do what they did to me and could cause so much pain to my dad.
And only heartless men could endanger the lives of men, women, and children like what happened with Webb.
It pained me to see Webb hurting.
He was getting better at expressing his feelings to me and I was glad for it because I would never gain insight to his insides if he didn’t.
He was happy, I felt it in his touches and the abundance of smiles on his face these days, but he was also missing a part of him…
I doubted if he’d ever gain that piece back in his heart.
The loss of his son was a cross he had to bear and for a man like him, it was going to haunt him for life.
My hope for him was that he found a way to make peace with it so he could move forward with his life and honor his son’s memory by continuing to live.
“You look deep in thought, girlfriend,” Dyan said as she came out of the dressing room.
We were at the Americana on Brand and she went inside the fitting room to try on a couple of dresses when I received the call from my dad.
I smiled, “Yeah, my dad said he’ll be in town next week.”
“That’s cool!” She exclaimed, her green eyes lit up in exhilaration, “Maybe my parents would be in town and we could all have dinner.”
I raised my brows, “Your parents?”
“I want them to see that I’m friends with the daughter of the head of the CDC.” She pursed her lips and tapped on her chest, “I gotta brag about Dr. Bridges, A.”
I laughed, her reasoning boggled my mind.
“My mom thinks I only hang out with hoodlums and scum,” her green eyes rolled and the disgusted expression on her face was too funny. “If she only knew…I handpick my friends and I hang out with the coolest crowd.”
“You’re ridiculous,” I said, standing up from the couch and walking with her to the register.
Her voice lowered, “Is he doing okay?”
She was referring to my dad. My friends and I have become really close after what had happened to me and now, we’d reached that stage where we treat each other like family.
“He’s doing great. I can hear how happy he is to be back in the groove of things. He loves to talk to everyone about science and research.”
“My dad would be in shock if he ever met your Pops,” she said, handing the cashier three of the dresses she’d tried on. They all looked fabulous on
her. “And my mom would straight up have an orgasm if your dad talks about his research.”
“Eeewww.” I scrunched my face. “I don’t want to think of your mom orgasming.”
The cashier in front of us chuckled while asking, “Did anyone help you today?”
Dyan’s head turned and pointed to the tall retail worker who was helping another customer. “Yes, Clara did.”
The cashier nodded and said, “Will these be all for you today?”
Dyan reached for her wallet in her purse, “Girl, if I buy any more – I’ll be broke for the next month. You guys always rob me of my money.”
The cashier with the pink and purple hair laughed, “That’s what we aim for.”
“Well. Mission accomplished,” Dyan answered and thanked the cashier as we walked out of the store.
Dyan was a really cool person. She made everyone feel accepted. It didn’t matter if they were black, yellow, white, or orange; she treated everyone the same and it really made me proud to be her best friend.
“You wanna try out the cupcakes or the macarons?” Her question wasn’t really a question because she already knew my answer.
“Both,” I said, looking for the cupcake stand close to the tracks of the railroad train that ran along the strip mall.
She put her right hand in a fist and bumped mine. “This is why you’re my BFF, A.”
I laughed, “Because I indulge you in your sweet cravings?”
She replied, “Because you always have the right answer to my questions.”
I shook my head and since she was shorter than me, I slowed my strides so we’d be in sync.
She was over-the-top and a dynamite on her own, but there was no one else I’d rather share my college experiences with than her.
I was truly, truly blessed.
“Webb?” I’d woken up to an empty bed. Usually at this time, he’d be sleeping beside me.
Eyeing the clock on the side, I blinked twice to accommodate for the darkness and saw that it was already two in the morning.
It was unfamiliar.
Odd.
This feeling of being without him.
I loved waking up to his warmth and his subdued kisses whenever I was inbetween wakefulness and sleep.