by Anne Leigh
I never gave a fuck about what they said.
Athena made me happy.
She was pleasure, lust, gentleness, need, want, and love all rolled into one.
Being with her had given me a certain type of lightness that only she could bring. It’s as if even if the weight of my burdens are on my shoulders, she shares the load with me.
She loved me the way I was, scarred legs and all.
When I told her about Ryder, she wept for me, with me, and for my son.
I never shared the pain of losing him with anyone. Joseph might have seen it because he was present with the Colombian doctors to announce my son’s death at Colombia National University Hospital.
Ryder would always be an empty space in my soul.
Sharing his memory with Athena just made that space smaller.
Athena might not know it yet, but I’d wait for her.
Days, weeks, years – I’d wait until she was ready for me to commit herself to me for the rest of our lives. Maybe until after she was done with school. Maybe until after she’d had a few years in her chosen career.
There was no coming back from her.
When I took this assignment from Joseph, I never knew that I’d meet the woman who could carve out a place in my heart that’s so big you’d think I didn’t love anyone else.
The ride-or-die shit?
It’s all a fucking myth.
Bonnie and Clyde had nothing on me.
When it came to my woman, I’d give up everything for her.
I checked my watch, in twenty minutes we’d be landing. Tony had sent me the address of the restaurant that the men who took Joseph wanted to meet.
I didn’t feel antsy or nervous.
I wanted this to be over.
I was ready for this.
All my life, I’d been groomed to face moments like this.
And one day, this would be nothing but a blip in my memory bank.
But one thing had to come out right – Joseph needed to be alive after all of this.
“Can I offer you our wine list?” The tall blonde server asked, the name tag on the front of her shirt spelled out Kaye.
“No, thank you,” I said, drinking water from the tall glass she’d placed on the table. “I’d rather wait for them.”
Them was the unknown here.
I didn’t know who I was meeting.
All I knew was that they wanted me, to talk to me about Joseph’s ransom or release – I just didn’t know.
Drug lords and their henchmen were as unpredictable as a mirage in the Saharan desert.
For sure, it wasn’t going to be El Padre. Even the devil wouldn’t try his chances on stepping on American soil these days. It didn’t matter how connected he was, if the government scented him in the U.S. he’d have to say goodbye to his native Colombia forever.
According to local Miami time, whoever I was meeting was late.
I said they because I’d think that after what Abel and the other men suffered under my hands, they wouldn’t send just one person. They’d send a squadron.
I relaxed in my seat and reviewed the menu that Kaye, the server, had presented me with.
I had to check the address Tony gave me twice because I didn’t expect it to be this classic and elegant Japanese hot spot. From what I’d seen of El Padre’s men, they didn’t have the necessary etiquette to function in a place like this.
The place overlooked the Miami River and the minimalist decorations was appealing, even to a steak-and-potatoes guy like me. This was a place that Athena would love to go to.
I’d called her after I’d landed and I detected the fear in her voice that I was hundreds of miles away from her. Alone. And would be negotiating her father’s release. She was trying to be brave and that was the best I could ask for from her. I’d told her that I loved her and when she returned the words back to me, I had no doubts that I was doing the right thing.
I couldn’t inform Leo because it would undermine the integrity of Tony’s intel.
Liam couldn’t come because I needed to be at peace that Athena would be safe when I wasn’t around.
I scanned my surroundings and from where I sat, I viewed diners enjoying their food and engaged in conversations.
I placed my hand on the menu and decided to look it over. The sandwich I’d grabbed from the airport wasn’t enough to fill me up. I might as well check out what Sushi M had to offer while waiting for my dinner partners to show up.
My attention was on the Spicy Tuna and Soy-Roasted Shishito when I heard a voice behind me, “I know you hate sushi. Don’t tell me the years have changed you…”
I was rooted to the spot, my hands unable to lift of their own accord, and my eyes couldn’t leave the red and white menu in front of me.
My brain was trying to connect with my body.
And my heart.
Her English accent was predominant, but I could detect the slightest Spanish inflection when she’d said sushi.
She stepped in front of me and sat down on one of two chairs across me.
My voice finally caught up with my mind, “Caterina.”
“Hello Webb.” A tentative smile showed on her face. “It’s been a long time. The years have been very kind to you. You look bloody great.”
My jaw tightened and I stopped my hands from fisting the menu, “What’s going on, Caterina?”
A peculiar look crossed over her features before she said, “Why don’t we catch up first?”
I felt the anger rising in my chest.
Her hair was darker blonde now. When I met her, it was lighter, free-falling, and she’d had a lot of little hair trinkets to adorn it. Now it looked like she’d coiffed it too tight that not a hair would fall out of place even in the presence of strong winds.
Her face was still the same. High cheekbones, aquiline nose, eyes that were light under these lights, but I knew how they could turn dark with her emotions.
When I met her, she was pretty. She’d grown into her beauty and as I looked at her, I realized that the years have gone by and they’ve molded her into the shrewd, calculating woman who was dissecting my expression for any hints of vulnerability.
“I don’t know what you’re doing here.” I said, my tone struck hard, “If you’re behind all these things happening with Joseph and his family, I swear to God, I’ll make you pay for all of these.”
It was hard to believe that this was the woman I loved before.
I’d held on to the memory of us in Brazil and London, but I should have been wiser to know that the real Caterina was the one who refused to have me see my son, the one who did everything to make sure that I didn’t have a place in his life.
“Ah Webb.” Her voice was amused, her chin lifted and Kaye appeared on her right asking her, “Would you like anything to drink?”
Caterina put a finger on her cheek and replied, “I’d like the Kamikaze Martini.”
Kaye said, “Perfect. How about you sir?”
I replied, “None for me, thank you.”
Caterina shook her head and her loop diamond earrings dangled in synchrony, “Can you also bring us your appetizer sampler?”
Kaye said, “Sounds good,” and left our table.
“Why are you always so serious, Webb?” Caterina asked, her cheeks pink from whatever makeup she was using. Not like the natural blush that Athena always sported.
At this point, I wanted to throttle the woman, but my mother taught me how to be a gentleman so I said in a hiss, “What the fuck is going on, Caterina? Do you have Joseph?”
She eyed me, fixating, “I do.”
“Let him go.” My jaw flexed and I ignored the pain that her presence brought to me, reminding me of my loss, of Ryder. “Unless you want to be charged with kidnapping.”
She pushed her lips together in a thin line and replied, “I will, but I need him to do something for me first.”
This time, there was no hiding the anger I was feeling, it was coming off in waves and if she w
as dust, she’d be thin air right now. “Fuck no. You let him go. I don’t know what your deal is and why he’s being held by you. You’re just like your father.”
I must’ve hit a sensitive nerve because her face became tight. “I am not like my father, Webb.”
“Oh yeah?” I never got the chance to let her know how much I resented her for doing all that she did to me when it came to Ryder. “Then how do you explain all those times you kept my son away from me? How could you tell me you’re pregnant and then you leave me with nothing? How the fuck do you live with yourself everyday knowing that your son, our son, is dead because he was caught in the crosshairs of your father’s drug empire?”
She lowered her eyes and looked away.
All those years that I was stuck in a black hole of my own regrets, I’d always wondered what happened to her. What made her do the things she did. If she loved Ryder, even just a little. Not because he was my son. But because he was hers too.
Kaye came with Caterina’s order and as she placed them on the table, she asked if we needed anything else.
“Thank you, Kaye. We’ll flag you if we need anything,” I said, trying to even out the edge in my voice.
When Kaye left, Caterina took a sip of her drink and this time, her eyes took on a softer hue, “There isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t think of him.”
I kept silent because it was hard for me to believe her.
“I was young. I didn’t know what to do…” Her voice now held a touch of remorse, “I had my life planned out. When I found out I was pregnant, I didn’t want to keep him.”
A spear crossed my heart and it made me want to roar.
“But once I knew he was in there, I knew I had to keep him. You might not believe me, but I loved him too.” Her eyes turned misty, but I couldn’t bring myself to comfort her.
“Why did you keep me away from him?” I asked, knowing that even if I had the answer now it wouldn’t change a thing.
“Because I loved you, Webb,” she answered, her hands playing with the sushi roll she’d placed on her small plate.
“Bullshit,” I said. “Love is not keeping me away from Ryder.”
“I see that now…but back then, I was so wrapped up in my own world that I didn’t know what to do. When I came back home, I’d just learned that my dad was the mastermind of all the drug killings in Colombia. I was so scared for Ryder and for you. I didn’t want you to be involved with me…”
This time I was the one shocked at her admission. “You mean you didn’t know your father was the King of all Drug Lords?”
Her hands tightened on the cloth napkin on the top of the table and her lips thinned, “No. I thought he was a businessman. A legal one. Like imports.”
He was involved in imports alright. Imports of illegal drugs.
She gave a tiny pause and said, “I wasn’t home much. I’d spent most of my life abroad. I was in boarding school from the time I was twelve. I didn’t know about what my dad was into. It wasn’t until I came home that year, when I was pregnant, that I’d learned he was the mastermind of all the evil stuff happening in and out of Bogota. I’d overheard him arguing with Mama and they were so loud so I couldn’t help but hear everything. My mom had accused him of so many things – of creating a human drug cartel, of running an international prostitution ring – I couldn’t remember it all. What I do remember is that it was the first time his hands landed on my mom’s face.”
My anger simmered because I imagined what her life was like – all fairytale and then in an instant, a nightmare.
“I thought if he could hurt my mom…he could hurt me. And Ryder, too.”
I didn’t speak because anger was an emotion I rarely harbored.
And even now, looking at her, having her in front me, I already knew that the years had passed so that I could forgive her.
“I’m sorry about Ryder.” Her eyes filled with tears and she dabbed the sides of her eyes with a tissue that she’d grabbed from her black purse. “I’m so sorry…”
I loved this woman once.
My world turned for her.
I loved our son even more.
My world turned black because of that loss.
But then came a person, a woman who taught me that even in the darkest moments, you can find hope. Something to live for. That the tiniest flicker of it was enough to keep you alive.
“I hope you find your peace with him, Caterina,” I said. “If you need me to say it, I will.”
She nodded her head, “Please.”
“I forgive you.” I wasn’t forgiving her just now. I’d done it before she even asked for it. I closed her place in my life a long time ago. I knew I couldn’t love Athena the way I did if I didn’t.
“Thank you,” she replied, keeping her manicured hands together.
We sat there in silence.
Then when the silence was too much, she said, “I didn’t order Athena’s kidnapping.”
It was too much for me to hope that she wasn’t her father but now I’m glad that I kept it. “Who did?”
“My father.” She replied, checking her phone for a second before lifting her eyes back to mine, “He learned of Dr. Bridges’ research from the grapevine. My uncle must’ve given him the ear about it.”
“Why does he want Dr. Bridges’ research?” It was a question that I never knew was going to be answered.
“Because my mother is very sick, Webb.” Her eyes flashed in pain. “She only has a few months to live. And according to the top researcher in Colombia and London, where my mom has gone for treatments, the only thing that could save her is what Dr. Bridges is working on.”
“How do they know about his research if Joseph kept it a secret all this time?” I queried, there were things that didn’t add up.
She shrugged her shoulders, the green wrap that she wore shifted, “I’m not sure…but someone must’ve known about it and said something and my uncle heard about it.”
“Is Joseph okay?” I had to ask.
“Yes, he’s safe.” She replied, “I’m not going to harm him. My father – he thinks I’m wanting to get involved in the family business after all these years. I’ve stayed away. I’ve gone back to London. Finished school. Toured the world. I can’t do much about him, Webb. He’s got talons everywhere. But I can do something for my mom.”
“I’m not the one to give you guarantees,” I answered, I couldn’t decide for Joseph. If he wanted to help the daughter of the man who hurt his daughter, that was his call.
She took a long look at me. “You used to hate sushi.”
“I did.” I didn’t like eating the slimy, uncooked stuff. It tasted disgusting in my palate.
“Who taught you to like it?” Somehow her question was more significant than the answer.
“A woman I love,” I said, simply and honestly. “For her, I would do anything.”
“Anything?”
“Everything.”
“Will you talk to her for me? Tell her I need her father to save my mother.” Caterina wasn’t demanding now. She was asking, hoping, praying that I would agree.
I hesitated but I had to ask, “He’s safe?”
“I was planning to let him go. My father doesn’t know I’m doing things behind his back. He ordered his men to take Joseph, but I intercepted and changed his orders when I arrived here with my mom a week ago.”
“Your mom’s here?” The news blindsided me. There was no way El Padre would send his wife to the United States if her situation wasn’t this grave.
“She is.” The ache in her voice reminding me that she was also a daughter who loved her mother dearly. And because of that, she’d do anything to save her life.
“Let Joseph go. Erase Athena and Joseph from your father’s hit list. When I mean erase, I mean gone. I don’t want any of the men following Athena to breathe the same air that she does. I don’t want to hear about your father unless he’s in his grave.”
Her eyes searched my face, and for a momen
t, I was reminded of the past, when we were both young and mindless of the worries of the world, where she looked at me with appreciation and caring, and maybe even love. “What makes you think I can do all that?”
“Because whether you like it or not, Caterina, you are your father’s daughter. And you wield more power than you think,” I said, the whole time we were talking I could see the change in her, I knew she was smart, but she was also wise. But she wasn’t evil like her father, she harnessed the light from somewhere within her.
“I’ll do my best.” A mysterious expression lingered on her face and I had no doubts that she would do it.
“Do it and I’ll talk to Athena and Joseph,” I promised, my heart already longing for Athena, wishing that she was close to me, to help me digest the revelations that I’d gone through today.
“You promise?” Caterina’s brows quirked and a smile grew on her face.
“I do,” I said, with enough inflection that it would be the truth.
A long time ago, I made a vow.
A promise that broke the trident I wore for my country.
Now I was making another promise.
I was making it so that the woman I loved and her father would be safe forever.
And wasn’t fate ironic?
Because I was making this promise to the woman who broke my heart in the very first place?
“I’m so stuffed,” I complained, but I had no one else to blame but myself.
“I’m glad to hear that, sweetie.” Her blue eyes were alight with humor. “My son doesn’t like my cooking very much.”
“Come on, Mom.” Webb shook his head and smirked, “She’s lying, babe.”
Babe.
He called me that in front of his mother.
His mother whose table manners could rival Ms. Etiquette and whose gentle demeanor was evident in the way she held my eyes and her son’s.
I elbowed Webb, asking him to tone down the PDA.
He’s been keeping his arms around me everywhere we went today.
I loved the man, but jaysus, I didn’t need his mother thinking that I was a clingy girlfriend. That I needed to be hand held all the time. Or that I needed his arms around me all the time.
Of course I did but again, this is his mom.