by M. C. Vann
As I climbed out of the car, Eason and Alexis came running up to hug me. I missed them dearly since I hadn’t seen them for almost three weeks. I entered the house and was confused to see piles of boxes scattered all around the rooms. Were they redecorating or moving? My footsteps were precisely calculated as I stepped over a few boxes on my way into the kitchen to find Eve cooking by the stove. She turned around and her exhausted eyes lighted up as she lowered the heat.
“What’s with all the boxes?” I asked as a joke.
“You’re finally here,” Eve said with relief. She came over to give me a hug which turned out to be a rather long one.
“Is something the matter?” I asked, feeling the tension in her arms. Once she pulled away, her eyes became glossy and she looked behind me to make sure nobody else stood in the room. I grew uneasy by her behavior. “Eve, you’re freaking me out. What’s wrong? Why are you acting like this?”
“It’s just … You know me, always an emotional wreck,” Eve responded. She half-heartedly chuckled to lighten the mood. My sister dismissed my question as she wiped away at her own eyes before turning around to stir her pot of Alfredo sauce.
There was definitely something wrong. I sensed it. “Eve, you can’t lie to me. Tell me. I’m your little sister. Maybe there’s something I can help with.”
She turned off the stove and suggested we talk about this while we sat down.
“Ally,” Eve started timidly. Her fingers fiddled nervously on the kitchen table. She almost looked ashamed and guilty. “We’re losing the house. Our home is in foreclosure.”
“What?!” It was the only word that I could utter.
“Rick lost his job at work recently. Plus, we have been digging into our savings the last few months to pay our mortgage. But we haven’t paid it for the last two months,” she explained, and I couldn’t believe it. “Please don’t say anything to the kids. I told them we’re just moving to a different place.”
“I promise I won’t say a thing. It’s going to be okay, Eve.” I tried to comfort her, even though I didn’t know how to help her. “How are the kids taking it?”
“They’ve always been so supportive,” Eve spoke proudly of her children.
“When do you have to move out?”
“In three days,” she responded.
“Where are you moving to?”
She laughed with a doubtful grin while shaking her head. “I’m not sure. Probably an apartment that we could afford. Rick said he’s handling it all.”
“I wish I could help,” I told her. And I hated to have suggested the idea since I couldn’t even help myself. But I had to try for my sister. “Maybe Henry and I could—”
“No,” Eve immediately objected.
“You don’t even know what I was going to say.”
“Yes, I do. I know that Henry is very wealthy, but we don’t want to feel burdened any more than we do. Ally, he has helped us enough,” Eve insisted. This was definitely my older sister. Even though she didn’t have much, she did have her pride, something I seemed to be lacking these days.
“I’ll help you move then. You better not move too far,” I gently warned her. I reached over the table to cover my hands over hers. “You’re all I got left. If you go, what would I do?”
“You still have Adam and Lily. And Nancy. And your husband. Speaking of your husband, tell me, how’d your honeymoon go?”
“It was good,” I lied, again.
“Good? That’s it?”
“Yeah, I mean, I don’t know. It was … nice.”
Eve examined me with suspicious eyes, unconvinced by my discreet answers.
“Hey, I dropped off some gifts that Henry and I picked out,” I changed the subject, hoping she would drop it. “I left them in the living room amongst your boxes. It’s not much, but I hope you guys like them.”
“Thank you, we will,” she said. A small smile formed on her face. “You know, I might not be—”
“I know,” I told her with an understanding grin. “Just don’t move too far.”
Eve rose up to finish preparing her dinner. “This year, we have to go down south to spend Christmas with Rick’s family. By the way, where are you and Henry spending Christmas this year?”
“Henry’s actually on a business trip so—”
“Oh, no. Then are you going to spend it with Lily or Adam?”
“They’re both out of town.”
“Then you’re going to spend it alone?” Eve asked sympathetically. “You can come with us if you want.”
“No, that’s okay. I’ll be fine,” I assured her. “It’s just another day.”
“You’ll stay for dinner though, right?”
“Of course!”
After having dinner with Eve’s family, I bid them goodbye, an uneasy one.
The next morning was unusual. It was Christmas, and I had no plans. Almost every year, I’d spend it with Eve’s family or my friends. This year, it was just me and the wine I picked out from Henry’s wine cellar.
He didn’t even bother to call me during the few days we were apart, but I wasn’t even surprised nor bothered. Or at least, I tried not to be. I shouldn’t let myself be rattled about him not contacting me. He was repulsed by me. He deceived me into marrying him and sleeping with him. What did I ever do to him to deserve this treatment, I thought.
As I stepped out of my bedroom, I passed by a door in the hallway that suddenly struck my interest. Since there was no one in the house, it wouldn’t hurt to lurk around. Lurk wasn’t the right word. I meant … this house was technically mine as well.
My hand twisted on the doorknob and to my surprise, it wasn’t locked. Strange. A deafening silence resonated throughout the room as if it hadn’t received a visitor for a very long time. At least that was what I thought from the vibe I perceived. The room inside was kept tidy. The bed was covered with a duvet and a pillowcase, both filled with designs of pink flowers — tulips, actually.
Perhaps … the owner of this room was Henry’s sister. The woman he spoke about with that unfathomable sadness in his voice. The woman who left him, shattering his entire world. The woman he…
All of a sudden, a terrifying thought came to my mind as I recalled my conversation with Nana. His sister, whom Nana named as Pen, was raped and murdered. The pain she felt … Was that the pain he was referring to?
But why would Henry do such a thing?
What if his sister was the woman he was referring to?
—————
When Nana returned from her trip, I wasted no time in asking her the questions that were stirring in my head. She had just taken off her coat when I came down to greet her.
“You’re back, Nana!” I yelled. I threw my arms around her, making sure I didn’t topple us both over her fragile body. I heard her laugh, the sound ripping through the room. It was dead quiet these past few days, being just by myself in this eerie house. I had almost gone insane.
“It’s so good to see you, dear.”
I took her hand and led her to the living room toward one of the couches. “How was your trip, Nana?”
“It was wonderful. I got to see my sister and her children and her grandchildren. They are just the cutest things. I cannot wait till you and Henry start having children of your own. Just imagine how cute they would be, running all over this house.” She smiled with a pure golden-hearted smile.
I nodded with a faltering grin. I knew fully well the image she painted was never going to happen. Before, I used to think that Henry would be a good husband and father. He looked tame and natural with Eason and Alexis. But the Henry these days would never want to have children, I thought.
“How about Henry?”
I snapped back from my thoughts. “Huh?”
“When will he be back?”
“I’m not sure, Nana. Henry didn’t tell me on the phone,” I lied, once again. This was a habit I was excelling at, regrettably. “Any day now he
should be back, I hope.”
A frown appeared on Nana’s face. “He should really make time for you. Leaving his wife all alone on Christmas — I thought I taught him better.”
“It’s okay, Nana. I have you here now and that’s enough for me,” I assured her with a sincere smile. “Nana ... If I asked you something, you’d be honest with me about it, right?”
“What would you like to know, my dear?”
“I was hoping you could tell me more about Henry’s sister.”
Confusion was written all over her face as she surveyed the abnormality in my request.
“What would you like to know?” she asked, a little skeptical.
“You mentioned her name was Pen. Is that short for something? Like Penny? Was she called by another name?”
“Well, I was the only one who called her Pen,” Nana said as she thought back. Her voice felt distant in memory. “She loved to write and draw ever since she was a child. It was actually one of her first words, next to Mama and Dada. She’d always carry a pen with her everywhere she went, along with her journal. But her real name was … Jennifer.”
“Jennifer?” I repeated. That name wasn’t foreign to me. Yes, I knew that name. That was the name of the boat — it must have been named after his sister.
“Yes,” Nana confirmed. “Jennifer Rose Pearce.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Jennifer. That name. It seemed as if I had heard it before a long time ago.
“So, the reason why Henry doesn’t speak of her” — I purposely chose my words carefully — “is it because of how she died, right?”
Nana stared at me blankly before looking away. Her lips pressed together as if to suppress a response. I didn’t want to be nosy, but Nana was my only hope.
“Yes…,” she spoke with a heavy sadness in her voice. “Henry doesn’t mention Pen because her death hurt him so much. It tortured him. I think he has been trying to move on by repressing those memories. And so, talking about her brings them back — the good and the bad. That’s why he doesn’t talk about her with others.”
Unsure of how to respond with comforting words, I placed my hands into her calloused, yet soft hands. She was happy earlier and now I had to destroy the mood with my curiosity. I decided I shouldn’t question her further. It must have been hard for her just as much as it was for Henry.
“Thank you, Nana,” I said with an apologetic smile. She only nodded as a response before patting her hand over mine.
Deep down inside, an eerie feeling resonated within, but I suppressed to acknowledge it. My conscience didn’t want to admit it. Being the coward I was, it would be too much to swallow. Plus, I didn’t even know if what my gut told me … was true. I should investigate more about the situation before coming to a conclusion, regardless of what I’d find out.
There was nothing I could do until Henry’s return. Waiting for him felt excruciating and inevitable like a bomb just waiting to detonate.
—————
Since the day Nana revealed the name to me, I could barely sleep a wink. I tried not to dwell much on the subject and convinced myself that it couldn’t be true. But the more I thought about it, I knew the answer drifted in front of me. All I had to do was face it.
My sister and her family had moved out of Chicago to Georgia where Rick’s parents lived. Rick made the decision. They packed all of their things and left just like that. They didn’t even need my help to move. Georgia was far, but the move was a good thing. Eve and Rick needed all the help they could get. While both of them looked for new jobs, Rick’s parents could spend some quality time with their grandchildren. Alexis and Eason rarely saw their grandparents.
Besides my sister moving away, I hadn’t received a single call from any of the jobs I applied for. Though I wasn’t surprised, there was nothing I could do with my qualifications. It was hopeless. I was hopeless.
And without a job, it became more evident to me that I’d never be able to pay back the money to Henry. I was never going to be able to leave this place and gain my freedom back. I wanted to leave him, right?
But amidst all of the horrible events, at least some good news surfaced.
I received a call from Chris a couple days after Christmas. The number looked unfamiliar and I hesitated before picking it up. I disliked answering unknown numbers, uncertain of who was waiting on the other end. But it was a good thing I picked up the call because I wouldn’t have known about the news my brother had to share.
Chris told me about his parole hearing which was scheduled in two weeks and he wanted me to be present for support. No doubt, I said yes. I knew I shouldn’t let myself get overexcited because the outcome could go either way. But Chris had always been good. He had always been a good person and he deserved this.
I was going to ask him the question that had been lingering in my mind for the past few days, but the line went dead before I could mention it. His phone time ran out.
During my time with Nana in the house, she and I became closer. She was like a warm light, radiating in this lonely and cold house.
But for such a small woman, I wondered how she could handle all the house chores.
I questioned her why they didn’t have any maids and she told me she forbade Henry to hire any help. Even though Henry wasn’t her grandson by blood, she still loved Henry very much, enough to care for him while she still had the strength. This lady was truly amazing. I didn’t see how Henry could ever deserve a kind-hearted woman like Nana.
She soon transformed into a grandmother-like figure to me. Her sense of humor was strangely dry. She was patient, kind, and compassionate. She insisted on doing everything herself when I attempted to help her clean. But my stubbornness won over hers. I lived here too and I needed to make it worth it.
The more Nana opened up to me, the more I felt guilty. I was betraying her trust and love and she didn’t deserve that. I didn’t deserve any of her kindness and hospitality because, in the end, I might have to hurt her and myself in the process.
—————
New Year’s Eve arrived. Henry hadn’t returned home, nor did he call or send a message. From what I knew, he may have prolonged this business trip. But it probably worked out for the best. I didn’t want to see him and maybe he didn’t want to see me either.
As I headed downstairs to make breakfast, I noticed the door to Henry’s work room was slightly cracked open. Nana must have left the door open when she was cleaning this morning and forgot to lock it. I remembered it being Henry’s private room because he quickly pointed it out to me my first time here.
I was curious. What was in there? It wouldn’t hurt to have a quick look around, I thought. I looked left and right to make sure the coast was clear before closing the door and locking it behind me. I flipped on the office lights and slowly walked around the room. There was a flat screen TV adjacent to his big wooden desk and countless of untouched books in the glass cases by the wall.
It was strange. There were no pictures of his family or anybody in here.
I padded behind his desk which only had a Mac computer at the center and two red lamps at the corners. Just then my eyes stopped at the drawers. I knew this was wrong, snooping around through another person’s things. But he was my husband. It wouldn’t be wrong for me, his wife, to go through his things.
I gradually opened the drawers one by one, inquisitive of what Henry had in there. I was disappointed to find that most of them were mainly empty. There was a variety of writing utensils but no pens, a few calculators, and folders in them — nothing else.
As I reached for the last bottom drawer, I heard keys dangling from the other side of the door. In a heartbeat, I quickly hid under the desk and held my breath as I froze in place.
“Thank you for your help. If there’s anything else I can do for you, please let me know,” his voice sounded as he entered the room.
Shit! He would come back at a time like this.
&nbs
p; “Of course, definitely. Alright, I’ll keep in touch. Bye.”
As he hung up the call, I heard footsteps coming toward me, but then they suddenly stopped. I covered my mouth and closed my eyes, trying to remain as quiet as I could possibly be. What if he caught me in here? What would he do to me?
To my relief, his footsteps grew fainter as he retreated back to the door. Once I heard the sound of the door open and close, I heaved out a breath. I waited for a few seconds before leaving in case he was still out there. As quickly and quietly as I could, I rose from under the desk and tiptoed my way to the door. I surveyed the hallway left and right for him before I carefully closed the door.
“What were you doing in my room?” Henry asked ruthlessly, his eyes narrowing. As I jumped around, he stood right in front of me. A complacent look already engraved on his face as he caught me.
“I—”
“Do you think there’s any good reason to justify you sneaking around in someone else’s room?”
“No. I … I was just—”
“Looking for something?” Henry spoke, grabbing hold of both my arms and pulling me against him.
“No! Nothing, I wasn’t looking for anything,” I quickly responded as my hands pushed at his chest. “I just wanted to look around. That’s all.”
“Ally, did you know you’re a terrible liar,” Henry replied with that devious smirk. He reached around to turn the doorknob and pushed me back into his work room, locking the door behind him. “You said you wanted to make a look around. Here’s your chance then.”
I backed away as he advanced my way, cornering me onto the side of the wooden desk. He leaned into me as his hands gripped onto the edge of the desk, trapping me.
“What were you doing in my room?” Henry demanded again. His face was right in front of mine. “Don’t make me ask you again.”
“Like I said, I just wanted to see your room,” I responded. “Is it wrong for a wife to go into her husband’s office?”
“No.” His answer surprised me. He leaned in closer and I fell back slightly, using my hand to steady my faltering balance. His eyes narrowed. “But it is suspicious when a debtor goes into a creditor’s office, don’t you agree?”