“I’d like to think so. Are you?”
I lifted a shoulder. “I think I am, but if you ask me to sit in a room full of snakes or spiders, I’ll tell you every which way you can fuck off. There’s a difference between fear and stupidity.”
He laughed. “If you fear it, you can overcome it.”
I tilted my head toward him in assent. “Of course I could. But it’s a question of whether I want to. If it’s a situation where I have a choice and overcoming that particular fear will do nothing for me in the future, I don’t personally feel there’s a point to putting effort toward it.”
He looked at me and I could see the wheels turning in his head. Finally he said, “Sometimes you don’t have a choice.”
Ah, and there was the crux of the issue. Sometimes you really didn’t have a choice, and what would happen in those situations? You’d either learn to deal with it and adapt, or you’d stay stuck making no progress. “It’s true. Shitty things happen. Things we fear more than anything else. When one of those things does happen, you learn quickly that you can’t control everything—which is an extremely difficult realization if you’re a control freak like me,” and, I imagined, Cade. “But when it happens, you really only have two choices. You have to decide whether to stay put, or move forward. You can’t go back.”
“Exactly,” he said. “Which is why fear is idiotic. You can overcome anything, even things you didn’t think you could live through. And you keep overcoming them until you don’t keep living. That’s the way it is.”
It was a heavy conversation for only a cup of coffee, and I had to refrain from wanting to analyze him even more than I already was. I took a sip of my skinny latte and Cade mirrored the action before putting the cup down and shifting to rest his elbows on the table, leaning in closer to me. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Yeah.”
“What’s your favorite color?”
My brow furrowed in surprise. That’s not the question I’d been expecting, especially after our previous topic of conversation. “My favorite color?”
Cade nodded.
“Blue.”
“What shade? Cornflower blue? Sky blue? Royal blue? Cobalt?”
“Sapphire blue.”
He pressed his lips together and looked up in a thoughtful way. “Slightly easier to get than the sky I suppose, probably less expensive too.”
I frowned. “I hope you didn’t ask me that question to get me a gift.”
The corners of his lips slid up.
I shook my head. “Presents and things don’t matter to me.”
“What does?
“Experiences. Things are just things. You can’t take them with you, but memories make a difference. Memories are a lifeline.”
He looked at me with renewed interest—like I was answering in ways he would have answered himself. “Good to know.”
I played with the coffee sleeve on my cup. “Can I ask you a question now?”
“Of course.”
“What was your initial blindfolding plan on our first date?”
He gave a slow, irritating, and positively seductive smile. “You’ll find out…eventually. Like maybe on date number thirty.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Well played, Counselor.”
He pulled out his phone, flipping to the calendar screen. “Get your phone. We need to plan our next date.”
“We’ve already had one real date, and now two coffee house dates.”
He shook his head, pushing his lips out. “Coffee dates don’t count.”
My mouth fell open in protest. “You said they counted earlier! We’re getting to know each other. They absolutely count.”
“Changed my mind. They don’t.”
“The only way they don’t count is if neither one of us speak.”
“I’m spending more time with you, B. Soon. Deal with it.”
I hated leaving things unsaid and undone. Cade was now one of those things. Even if I hadn’t been interested in him, I would have gone out with him again just to find out about that blindfold.
Tips and Tits: The Word from Mistress A
The ‘V’ word, and We’re Not Talking Virgins
Ah, Valentine’s Day. Some people love it, some people hate it. A person’s preference usually depends on their relationship status at the time. I fall into the love category. Any day that celebrates romance and sex is a good day in my book. It’s an excuse to get dressed up, put on some sexy new lingerie, and explore your wild side. I’m a proponent of that exploration happening daily, but some people need a special excuse. If you’re one of them, this is it. Valentine’s Day is also one of the few days of the year that you can almost always guarantee nookie. So, what should you do to spice things up and make it even better? First, I’ll refer you back to my previous post on sex toys. Go to the store, find some new things you want to play with, and debut them on Valentine’s Day. Maybe even give them to your partner as a gift. Or even better, go to the store together and pick something out— which I’ve already mentioned, is excellent foreplay. If there’s something you’ve always wanted to try, whether it’s a new position, role play, or even BDSM, now is the day to do it. I realize V-day is primarily a couples’ holiday, but I don’t want to leave the single people—like myself—out! Don’t let the holiday depress you. Get out and do something. Have a girls’ night, go to a party, or even better, go to a sexy party. They have them all over the country; look in your local paper, or visit your local sex toy store and there’s a good chance they’ll have a list of naughty get-togethers happening in your area. I know that’s where I’ll be this Valentine’s Day. Maybe I’ll run into you there.
I had two problems: One named Cade, and one named Master Z. I couldn’t stop thinking about Cade, or his promise that we’d be going out again, and soon. The fact he was withholding sex made him all the more appealing, and infuriating, to me. It made me want him more, which is a classic response. People always want what they can’t have. Not for the first time, I silently wondered if Cade had taken some psych classes during undergrad. Sex wasn’t the only thing about him that intrigued me though. I’d spent enough time with him now that I was getting to know him better. I liked the person he was, and wanted to know more about how he became that way. Like everyone, he had a past, and I got the feeling his might be more complicated than most. Every person is a combination of their life experiences. We all have reasons for doing what we do. I wanted to find out more about his history, and what made him tick.
As for Master Z, that situation was getting hotter on a daily basis. He was messaging me at least once a day now, and I was messaging him back. What had started as hatred for the guy who stole my idea had turned into a flirtation that was rapidly progressing to what seemed like an affair of sorts. A part of me felt guilty for it…like I was cheating on Cade. I wasn’t. We’d established we weren’t exclusive, but we kept going on dates and hanging out. It felt wrong to want to screw them both. It shouldn’t, but it did.
“Hellooooo…earth to Brynn,” Syd said, her voice pulling me out of my contemplation.
I shook it off, directing my attention toward her.
“Butter,” she said slowly, her tone questioning my ability to comprehend words. “I need the butter.”
I nodded, walking over to the fridge and grabbing a stick for her to make the frosting with. We were at CARE making Valentine’s Day sugar cookies complete with heart and lip shapes. The cookies were cooling and the kids had gone to play until they were cold enough to decorate.
Syd microwaved the butter for a few seconds to soften it, then started mixing in the confectioner’s sugar, vanilla, salt, and milk. I loved her frosting, and cookies. Valentine’s Day was one of the only times I allowed myself to cheat and eat sugar, and it was all because of her sugar cookies. She glanced up at me while she added a little more milk, then turned the mixer back on. “What’s going on with you? You’ve been acting preoccupied all day.”
Because I was preoccupied. With Maste
r Z. With Cade. With School. With blog stuff. Coming up with compelling content repeatedly was difficult. Marketing was such a big part of my job. I had to maintain and increase my audience in order to keep my advertisers. I needed to hire someone to help me with that. The business side was a full-time job by itself. Add that to writing content, and my school work, and I felt like I had three full-time jobs. I was doing well and making money now, but if I didn’t keep interested eyes on my work and constantly grow my audience, I wouldn’t stay that way. I had goals. I wanted to finish school, pay off my student loans, help my parents, and donate money to charities. It was a lot of pressure, and a lot of stress.
“Just a lot on my mind,” I answered.
Syd watched me for a moment before separating the frosting into different bowls and putting drops of food coloring in each one. She did one red, one pink, one green, and left another bowl plain white. “Anything I can help with?”
I shook my head. I wished she could, but it was all stuff I needed to do on my own or hire someone to do for me. “Nah, it’s just work stuff and school. The combination of it all is stressful. I’ll figure it out.”
Her brows came together in concern. There was nothing more frustrating than wanting to help someone and not knowing how. I understood that. But some things couldn’t be helped. Sometimes you just needed someone there watching out for you, and knowing they had your back and supported you, even if they couldn’t do anything to make it better. “Knowing you’re there is help enough. I appreciate that more than I can say, Syd.”
Syd put a knife in each bowl and motioned toward it. “Help me stir?”
“Sure.” I picked up the green and started mixing. It was a light green that had been requested by the boys who didn’t want only “girl” colors on their cookies.
“What are you and Jax doing for Valentine’s Day?”
She stirred the red, her hand whipping around the bowl like she was a professional mixer. “I’m not sure. Jax planned it and is being super secretive, but I’m excited.”
I smiled at that, happy she was so happy. This was her first Valentine’s Day in a committed relationship. “I hope you’ve been shopping.”
She gave me a wicked smile. “I took Mistress A’s advice.”
I arched a brow. “You did?”
She nodded. “It should be an eventful night.”
I gave her a sidelong glance. “You need to wear the lipstick.”
She shook her head adamantly. “I told you, I can’t pull it off.”
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous. You can, and there’s no better day for a sparkly bright red lipstick than Valentine’s Day.”
She finished stirring the last of the frosting colors. “Maybe you’re right.”
I looked at her, shocked. I’d been trying to get her to try it for years with no luck. “Seriously?”
“Yeah,” she said with a smile. “I’m feeling feisty.”
I laughed. “I like feisty Syd.”
“What about you?” she asked, trying not to show her level of inquisitiveness. “What are your plans? Something with Cade?”
Valentine’s Day was the biggest relationship-related holiday of the year, and not a day to be gallivanting about on non-relationshipy dates. Being together on a day full of hearts, chocolates, and roses practically screamed, “Look at my loving and committed partnership!” I wanted nothing to do with that nonsense.
“I’m going to the Sin and Sass party,” I said. Sin and Sass was held at a downtown club every year, and sponsored by my favorite adult toy store. There would be dancing, drinking, costume parties, and scantily clad men. I’d gone for the last couple of years and had enjoyed myself every time. I expected this year to be the same.
Syd wrinkled her nose.
“What’s that face for?” I asked.
She gave a disappointed shrug. “That party is just an excuse to go out in public in your underwear,” Syd said. “Just like Halloween.”
I gave her a wicked look. “Who needs an excuse?”
She wiped her hands on a towel and met my eyes. “I was hoping you’d have a date with Cade.”
I looked at her like she’d lost her damn mind. “A date? On Valentine’s Day? Are you nuts? That’s next-level relationship shit. We are so not there.”
“But you could be.”
I shook my head vehemently. “Nope. I’m not a relationship girl, Syd. You know that.”
“But you’re dating, Cade.”
“Only because I want to have sex with him.”
“If you were together, you could have sex all the time.”
Point to Syd for that bit of logic. “I haven’t had sex with him yet. Maybe I won’t want to have sex with him more than once. Maybe he sucks at it.”
She snorted a laugh. “I’m fairly certain that’s not the case.”
I gave her a look. “How do you know?”
She shook her head. “He got, and has held, your interest, B. That’s not an easy feat. And he already told you he’s not average.”
I tilted my head to the side in concession. Another point to Syd. But still not a valid reason to change my plans. “I’m not in a relationship, and I go to the Sin and Sass Party every year. It’s the perfect Valentine’s Day activity for me.”
Syd sighed and went to the doorway to call to the kids in the playroom. They all came running, taking spots around the table and island. Each of them picked out their cookies, and the frosting and decorations were shared between them. I watched as sprinkles were dropped everywhere and everything from the counter, to chairs and hardwood floor, was covered in sugar. I quickly decided I was glad this wasn’t my own house because that spread of sugar and frosting would never come completely clean.
I was helping Maci place one of her big heart sprinkles when I heard a male voice drift in from the living room. I thought it was probably Charlie, or maybe even Jax. He came over a lot. I was wrong on both counts. I lifted my head as Cade walked into the room.
His eyes met mine and my breath caught in my throat. I could look at him all day long.
The kids glanced up intermittently, staring with curiosity at the new person who’d walked into their space. “This is Cade,” Syd said, introducing him. “He’s a friend of mine and Brynn’s.”
Maci started to giggle uncontrollably. I looked at her wondering what was up. “Friend,” she said, giggling some more.
“You mean boyfriend,” Todd said in a singsong voice.
Cade started to laugh.
I looked at Maci and Todd, trying to figure out what they were talking about, and where they’d gotten that idea. “No,” I clarified, “Cade is just my friend.”
“That you want to see naked!” Maci squeaked, her high-pitched little laugh sounding like a pixie.
My mouth fell open. I don’t embarrass often, but one thing guaranteed to make me blush is a four-year-old talking about naked men. What the… I thought back to the previous conversation Syd and I had had about Cade after we made peanut butter cookies last month. How had the kids even heard that discussion? Let alone remembered it? They must have been listening from the other room and Syd and I hadn’t been paying attention. Good grief. What other incriminating things had they heard?
“And Brynn doesn’t wear pants at home!” Maci offered.
There you have it.
“Maci!” I said, my cheeks heating even more. “That was a secret!” That she wasn’t even supposed to know, or hear! Holy warrior princesses, if she was offering this information freely now, what in the world had she told her parents? I was going to get fired from volunteering.
“She also likes your butt,” Todd chimed in, pointing at Cade.
Good hell. Kids remember everything. And repeat it! I’d never wanted to muzzle a person before, but I was seriously considering it at the moment. How did parents have any secrets? I thought about it for a second…they didn’t. The things kids at CARE had revealed to me about their parents would humiliate even the most stoic person. I’d
just kept the information to myself, and hadn’t even considered all the little ears that were as sharp as a bat’s and hanging around listening for information from me to later impart. I’d be more careful in the future.
“I like her butt too,” Cade said, trying to help me save face.
The kids all stared at Cade for a few seconds, and then broke into another round of giggles. Then they went back to decorating their cookies, and Todd declared he was frosting his lips like a submarine because a submarine would taste better than lips.
Cade caught my eye and shook his head in clear disagreement with Todd about the lip comment. I was already blushing so Cade’s comment couldn’t have made it worse, even though the heat that was flowing over my face made it seem like it had.
The kids were focused on decorating again, and seemed to have forgotten about Cade’s butt and nakedness—at least for the time being.
I got up from the table and went to stand by Syd and Cade for a little more privacy. Though I was now fully aware that the bat ears were in effect and I was on high alert. “I didn’t expect to see you,” I said to Cade.
“I told him to come get some cookies,” Syd said.
I turned to her, my eyes narrowed. She’d done that on purpose, determined to get Cade and I to spend as much time together as possible. “She does make the best sugar cookies,” I said.
“It’s the secret ingredient in the frosting,” Syd offered.
Chasing Brynn (A Tempting Novel Book 2) Page 14