by Sandi Lynn
“I’m so sorry. I just don’t get life sometimes. One minute you meet the person you were meant to spend the rest of your life with and the next they’re ripped from you like it’s nothing.”
“I know. It’s incredibly sad.”
We both sat there for a few moments in silence until there was a knock on the window and Paisley hid her face.
“Great. Just great.”
The girl who knocked on the window walked inside and over to our table.
“Hey, Paisley. What’s going on?” She smiled.
Paisley looked up at her and the guy she was with. “Piper. What are you doing here?”
This girl named Piper looked at me and held out her hand. “Hi, I’m Piper, Paisley’s sister, and this is my fiancé, Liam.”
“Ah, it’s very nice to meet you. I’m Ben.”
Piper looked at Paisley and then back at me. “Ben, as in support group Ben?”
“Yeah. That Ben.” I chuckled.
Paisley
I was mortified that my sister saw me. Why? Because now she’d go and spread the gossip to the rest of the family and they’d ask a million questions and make a big deal out of it.
“I thought you weren’t going back to that support group?” Piper asked.
“I changed my mind,” I said as I gave her a fake smile.
“Oh.”
“Why don’t you sit down and join us?” Ben asked.
“No. They can’t. I’m sure they just popped in to grab a coffee to go because you have wedding things to do. Right?” I spoke as I shot her a look.
“You’re right as always, little sister. As much as we’d love to, Ben, we have to get going. It was nice to meet you. Paisley, I will be calling you.”
“I’m sure you will.” I smiled.
They left Starbucks and I looked at Ben.
“You seemed really upset when you saw your sister.”
“I can guarantee that she is standing outside doing a three-way call with Keaton and Charlotte and that us having coffee has just turned into a huge deal.”
“Ah. I totally understand that. My family is the same way.”
“My family can’t keep secrets. No matter how much they promise not to tell, they always do.”
“I heard you mention a wedding. They’re getting married?” he asked.
“Yeah. They just got engaged.”
“So did my brother, Finn.”
“I have one better. Charlotte announced that she’s pregnant the same day as Piper announced her engagement.”
“Ouch. Double whammy isn’t good. How do you feel about that? Wait…don’t answer. I bet you’re happy for them on the surface, but deep down, you’re distraught and hurting because it’s hard to sit back and watch other people be happy when you’re miserable because your happiness was snatched away from you.”
Wow. The tears filled my eyes as I sat there and listened to his truth. I had to look away and out the window before I made a fool of myself.
“It’s okay, Paisley,” he said as he reached across the table and placed his hand on my arm. I feel the same way, and nobody would or could ever understand unless they experienced what we did.”
His touch. The feel of his hand on my skin. It felt good to feel a man’s touch again and it scared me. I didn’t pull my arm away because he meant well, and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. It was a gesture. A simple way of saying that everything was okay.
“You’re right,” were the words I could muster up.
Suddenly, my phone beeped with a text message from Keaton.
“Whatcha doing tonight, sis?”
Then one from Charlotte came through.
“Hey, just checking in to see if you’re doing okay. What are you up to?”
And one last message from my mother.
“Hi honey. Wanted to see how your week went. What are you up to right now?”
I shook my head and rolled my eyes. “See, I told you,” I said as I held up my phone and showed him the text messages.
“You weren’t kidding.” He chuckled.
“Oh no. I don’t kid around when it comes to my family.” I laughed.
“Do you mind?” he asked as he took my phone from my hand. “I’m going to put my phone number into your contacts in case you ever want to talk about anything.”
I smiled at him as he handed me back my phone. When I took it from his hand, our fingers brushed lightly, and a wave of hysteria swept over my body.
“What else do you do besides being a fireman and running every day?” I asked.
“I build furniture.”
“Real furniture?” I asked.
“Yes. Real furniture.” He chuckled.
“That’s great. You have to be really talented and have a lot of patience to do something like that.”
“It keeps me busy.”
I looked at the clock on my phone. It was eleven o’clock. “Wow. I can’t believe it’s eleven already,” I said.
“Is it really? I guess time flies when you’re having fun.” He smiled.
We both got up from our seats and walked down the street back to our cars. As I unlocked my car door, Ben opened it for me.
“Thank you.” I grinned.
“You’re welcome. Thanks for having coffee with me tonight.”
“You’re welcome. It was nice.”
“It was. Be careful driving home and I’ll see you around sometime.”
“You too. Thanks again, Ben.”
“Bye, Paisley.”
I got into my car and he shut the door. As I pulled away, I looked in the rear-view mirror and he gave a small wave. I smiled all the way home.
Chapter 14
Paisley
After putting out my cigarette, I went back into the house and pet Romeo as he finished off his breakfast. I didn’t sleep at all last night because my mind was racing with the conversations Ben and I had. He seemed to be a really nice guy, not to mention he was hot. I felt guilty for having these thoughts about him in my head. I poured another cup of coffee and sat down at my desk. I pulled out the pale pink stationery and pen and began to write my weekly letter.
My dearest husband,
Crazy week, yet again. Kenny said the paper might be getting sued because of a question I answered, which apparently led to the couple breaking up. They have no ground to stand on, so I’m not worried. You’re never going to believe this, but Piper is getting married and Charlotte’s having a baby. I’m finally going to be an aunt. I’m happy and sad at the same time. You know I’m happy for my sisters but sad because you’re not here to celebrate the news with. Other than that, nothing else is really going on. I miss you so much that it hurts every single day. I’m trying. I swear I am, but I just don’t know how to move on. I think it’s because I don’t want to move on. You were my life and we had so many plans and I just can’t forget that. Until next week.
Love forever,
Paisley
A tear fell from my eye as I folded the paper and put it in the envelope. I slipped it into the drawer and opened my laptop to start work. First question, and surprise, it was from a guy. I didn’t get too many guys asking questions.
Dear Paisley,
I really like this girl, but she has a boyfriend. She and I work together, and she told me the other day that she would like to go out on a date with me. When I asked her about her boyfriend, she said that they spend more time breaking up then staying together. I would love to go out with her but I’m nervous because I don’t want to get hurt. I don’t really know what she wants from me and I don’t know if it’s such a good idea to ask her out, since she has a boyfriend. Please help.
Sincerely,
Feeling Conflicted.
Dear Feeling Conflicted,
I understand where you’re coming from and it was wrong of her to tell you what she did. You need to have a talk with her and tell her that as much as you would like to take her out, she does indeed have a boyfriend and it’s not a good idea. You also need to
take a closer look at this girl. If she has a boyfriend already and wants to go out with you, what does that say about her character? If she and her boyfriend were broken up, that’s different. But I wouldn’t suggest it as long as they’re still together.
As I was about to answer another question, a text message from Keaton came through.
“Open your door. I brought us breakfast.”
I rolled my eyes and sighed because I knew damn well why he was standing at my door at eight o’clock in the morning.
“Really, Keaton? I know why you’re here.”
“You know nothing.” He smiled as he walked by and straight to the table. “I want to have breakfast with my sister. Is that too much to ask?”
I followed behind and took out two plates from the cupboard. “You never answered my text last night,” he said as he opened the brown bag and took out two white Styrofoam containers.
“I was busy.”
“I heard. I brought you a mushroom, onion, and cheese omelet with whole wheat toast.”
“Thanks.”
“So spill. Tell me how coffee went,” he said as he sat down.
“It was nice. We had a very nice talk.”
“Nice?” he asked as he looked at me and took a bite of toast. “How old are you? Fifty? Who says, ‘It was nice’ besides Mom?”
“Fine. It was great. It was great to finally talk to someone who I could relate to and who could relate to me. Someone who understood why I don’t like to go out and do things like I once used to. Someone who doesn’t look at me with pity because they know what it’s like to be looked at that way. Someone who tells me that it’s okay to feel the way I do.”
“I get it,” he said as he ate his eggs. “But I never look at you with pity. You know that.”
“He put his number in my phone.” I smiled as I bit down on my bottom lip.
“Are you going to call him?”
“No.”
“You’re weird. Why not?”
“I don’t know.”
He put down his fork and grabbed another piece of toast. “He gave you his number because he wants you to call him. I’m a guy. I know these things. If you don’t call him, then he’ll feel rejected and not worthy of you. Is that what you want?”
“Shut up.” I laughed as I threw a piece of toast at him.
He gave me a smirk and we finished eating our breakfast. Just as Keaton was leaving, he picked up Romeo and gave him a kiss.
“Oh, by the way, I’m bringing someone to family dinner tomorrow.”
“Who? Elena?”
“Nah. We’re still on a break. Her name is Brielle and she’s smoking hot.”
“That’s real nice, Keaton.” I scowled.
“Okay, she’s more than that, but I can’t tell you because I’m not sure yet. She’s just great.”
His enthusiasm for this girl was nothing new to me. He got this way over all the new girls he’d met over the years. But for some reason, I thought Elena was different for him.
“Great. I can’t wait to meet her,” I said as I walked him to the door.
“I sense some sarcasm in that tone of yours. See you tomorrow, Paisley.” He waved.
I gave him a small smile and shut the door. Romeo strutted up and rubbed his body against me. He looked up at me with those big blue eyes and meowed. I bent down and picked up him, holding him close to me while I stared out the window and thought about Ben.
Ben
As I opened my eyes, the first thought that came to my mind was Paisley. The coffee we shared last night was great and the conversation even better. She was a beautiful and sweet woman who was still hurting from the death of her husband like I was with Amy. At least I could share my thoughts and pain with someone who understood. She certainly didn’t deserve this deal in life and neither did I. I climbed out of bed, put on my running clothes, and headed down toward the pier for my run. As I was jogging and listening to my iPod, I looked over to find David jogging next to me. I put my iPod on mute and took the earphones from my ears.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey, Ben. I saw you a few feet back. I didn’t want to interrupt you. You looked like you were in deep thought. I figured that you’d eventually notice me.”
“Do you always run here?” I asked.
“No. I was getting bored with my usual route, so I decided to try the pier. I used to jog here years ago. I’m up and out every morning before work. You don’t mind the company, do you?”
“No. Not at all.”
“Did you check out that meeting again after you left the bar?” David asked.
“I was going to but, remember that girl, Paisley, I told you about?”
“Yeah.”
“She was sitting in her car, not too sure if she wanted to go in or not, so instead we went and had coffee for three hours and talked.”
David turned his head and looked at me with a smile on his face. “Seriously? How did it go?”
“It went great, man. She’s an amazing girl.”
“I’m getting the feeling that you might like her.”
“She’s beautiful, smart, and really nice. We have a lot in common and we can relate to each other because of our circumstances. She gets me.”
“That’s great.” David smiled as he patted me on the back. “Are you going to see her again?”
“I gave her my number in case she ever wants to or needs to talk. So we’ll see if she calls.”
“You didn’t take her number?”
“Nah., I didn’t want to push things or make her uncomfortable.”
“Probably a good idea. I’m sure she’ll give you a call.”
We ran a total of five miles together and then I headed home. It was strange to me the way I told David things. Maybe it was because sometimes it’s more comfortable talking to someone you barely know than telling your family and friends that you’re close to.
As I was in the garage, sanding down one of the dining chairs, Brady pulled up.
“Hey, bro.” I smiled.
“Looking good, Ben,” he said as he ran his hand across the table I’d built.
“Thanks. What brings you by?”
“I had to get out of the house,” he said as he lit up a cigarette. “Linda and I had an argument about her spending habits again.”
I looked up at him and grinned. “You always have that argument.”
“I know. If she had a full-time job, maybe I wouldn’t care so much. But according to her, it’s not worth it with my work hours and trying to have to find daycare for Kara and she barely makes anything working part-time.”
“That is true. Our hours and shifts are changing all the time.”
I continued sanding while he vented about his wife. What he didn’t realize was that he was lucky she was around to even argue with.
“You know, Brady, never take Linda for granted. Look at me and what happened. Life’s too short to be arguing about things. A lot of couples don’t realize that until it’s too late and they’re no longer there to argue with.”
“Dude, you’re a downer.”
I glanced up at him with a smirk. “I’m right and you know it.”
He sighed as he put out his cigarette. “Linda invited you over for dinner tomorrow night around six o’clock. She’s making your favorite: roast and garlic mashed potatoes.”
“Tell Linda I’ll be there.” I smiled.
He patted my shoulder, smiled, and went home. I finished one chair and, before I stained it, I wanted to build the last one. It took me the entire day plus into the evening to get it built. I was just getting ready to jump into the shower to clean myself up when a text message came through from a number I didn’t recognize.
“Hi, Ben, it’s Paisley Logan. Maybe this is strange to ask, but would you like to go surfing with me tomorrow morning?”
I smiled as I replied back, “Hi, Paisley. I would love to, but only if you promise to teach me.”
“I’d be happy to teach you. I have an extra board I�
��ll bring. We have to meet a little later because I don’t want to run into my brother, Keaton. So, why don’t we meet on the beach by the walkway at nine o’clock?”
“Nine o’clock is perfect. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Have a good evening, Ben.”
“You too, Paisley.”
I immediately stored her number in my phone. I couldn’t believe that she actually texted me because I didn’t ever expect her to. I was happy the rest of the night and I couldn’t wait to see her in the morning.
Chapter 15
Paisley
As I sat on my couch, snuggled up with a blanket and Romeo curled up against me, I couldn’t believe I’d actually asked Ben to go surfing. Maybe breakfast, lunch, or dinner would have been more appropriate. Shit. Who does that? Who asks someone they barely know to go surfing? I sighed, since I wasn’t going to give it another thought. What was done was done and I was teaching Ben Preston how to surf tomorrow morning. As I reached over and opened my laptop, Romeo became irritated that I disturbed his slumber and jumped down. Bringing the laptop onto my lap, I opened up another Dear Paisley question.
Dear Paisley,
I recently met this guy who I’ll call Tom. We met at a club and exchanged phone numbers before the night was over. We danced, talked, and kissed, but that’s as far as things went. A couple days later, he called me and asked me to go on a business trip with him as his weekend girlfriend. I asked him what he meant by “weekend” girlfriend and he said that I would be required to act the part and have sex with him while on the trip and he’d pay for everything and buy me anything I wanted. No one has ever done that before and I’m thinking about going with him. I do like him and we had fun at the club. Did I mention he’s married? I don’t know what to do. Please help.
Girl in Lust
Dear Girl in Lust,
First of all, the key word here is “married.” He’s married, so that means hands off. Just the fact that he is married and wants to take you as his weekend girlfriend to have sex screams total douchebag. Think about his wife and how you’d feel if your husband did that to you. It sounds like he does this kind of thing regularly and he’s only in it for the thrill. You’ll ultimately get hurt in the end, so I would advise you not to speak to him again. He’s flawed as a man and I know you have more respect for yourself than he’s giving you credit for.