Chapter Eighteen
Melody didn’t go back to the dunking booth after Seth left. Instead she went home—knowing Norma Sue had taken over meant the booth was in good hands. Better hands than her own.
She drove back to the stagecoach house, but she didn’t go in. She walked to the back of the house and took the weathered stone stairs that had been laid so long ago down to the river. Walking to the edge of the water, she sank to the ground and prayed. Her thoughts were rushing through her mind with the speed of the water coursing past her, the feelings in her heart just as tumultuous. She’d been running—resorting to unplugging her phone…she was ashamed of herself. Had she resorted to being a coward? Was this what she’d become?
Seth had pointed out the obvious. She knew in her heart he was right. She’d felt guilty that she’d been praying for her brother for years, but that her prayers were empty because she didn’t believe God was going to answer them.
As a Christian, she was supposed to live by faith. Over and over through the Bible God repeated this truth. Christians had to live by faith.
Truth was truth. Seth’s words came back clearly. Truth was, God had given her the command to trust Him in blind faith…
“Melody.”
She turned to find Lacy standing midway down the steps. Her approach had been drowned out by the river noise. “Hey, what are you doing here?”
Lacy jogged down the last few steps and sank onto the rock beside her. “I was coming out of Sam’s and heard the exchange between you and Seth. I started to mind my own business but God just kept thumping me on the head that I should come and see if there is anything I can do for you. I’m a pretty good listener, you know.”
Melody’s emotions swelled. She needed someone to talk to so badly. Lacy was so strong in her faith even when it had been tested. “I have a brother.” Melody heard the words and felt relief in admitting them. Lacy placed a hand on her arm and squeezed gently.
“Tell me about him.”
And she did. Melody told her everything. Everything she’d told Seth and everything she’d been feeling over the last few days. “I’m to the point that I feel so weak but angry at the same time. I’m twisted up inside most of the time. I’ve prayed and prayed for answers and for God to give me the strength to do what I need to do, but so far I still have nothing. What’s worse now on top of everything is that I have these mixed-up feelings for Seth.”
Lacy had listened so attentively and now she took a deep breath. “To think you’ve carried this all on your shoulders for so long. I could say, shame on you, because we’re your family now and I wish you’d have let us all help—but I won’t.” She smiled kindly. “This was the path you had to take to get you to the point of truth. We each have to travel that path our own way, in our own time. As far as I know, there isn’t any rushing that.”
Melody let her words sink in. “Maybe you’re right.”
Lacy smiled. “Maybe. Listen, I don’t have the answer here but I know God does. I know, though, that loving your brother, knowing he’s ruining his life and not being able to help him has to be devastating for you. In your place, I don’t know if I would have the strength to let him go, either…even if it was in his best interest. But I can tell you this…God loves you, Melody. He hasn’t forgotten you. He hasn’t forsaken you and I think, listening to you talk, that that is what you think. Life happens. No matter how much we love someone, we can’t make them make the choices we want them to make. We can only make the choices that are right for us. Romans 14:12 is one of the Bible verses that gives me comfort when things seem out of my control. It says, ‘So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.’ Short and direct, just the way I like things.”
“But that can be interpreted that I shouldn’t give up on helping Ty because if I do I’m accountable for it. And also at the same time it means Ty is accountable for his actions. I’m still running in circles with it.” Melody took a deep breath and studied the water.
“Melody, dig deep and know that God has provided you with your answer. I know that He has. He has the answer. You’ll know in your heart what is right for you. All this turmoil you’re feeling is simply you fighting the truth as it pertains to you.”
Melody looked away. What was the right choice for her? Not for Ty? And not for Seth?
“Have I helped you at all?” Lacy asked.
Melody leaned forward and hugged her. “More than I can express. I might not have my answers yet, but I feel better. I’ve felt like Seth is judging me about my life so far. He sees it in black and white, and there is no sympathy on his part for Ty. Talking to you I haven’t felt that judgment.”
“Good.” Lacy hugged her tightly. “I guess I’ll head on back to the festival. Being the girl heading up the committee, if there’s a problem, things could get crazy if I’m not there.”
This was so true. Lacy was indispensable in keeping things running smoothly. “Thanks for coming. I really needed someone to talk to.”
Lacy stood up. “Any time. And this will work out. I have faith that God does have a plan. Call me if you need me again.”
She turned to head up the steps then stopped. “You know, this is just a thought, but you said you were basically exhausted and feeling weak. Maybe that’s where you need to be in order to see God’s plan clearly. And maybe, just a thought, maybe someone to see things in black and white is the answer you need.”
Seth couldn’t let it go. All afternoon after having left Melody standing in the middle of the street at the festival, he’d worked like a dog clearing fence line, trying to work off his frustrations. He’d been hard on her. Yeah, truth was truth and he believed she needed someone pointing out to her the truth about her brother. But he’d been really angry when he’d spoken to her and that was wrong.
He hadn’t walked in her shoes. He didn’t know the heartache she was feeling, and so he shouldn’t judge her. And that was what he’d done. He hadn’t meant to but that didn’t say it wasn’t so. Period.
If he was man enough to dish it out, he was man enough to take it. When he finally worked through to this truth, the sun had disappeared and dusk was settling in. Soon they’d be shooting off fireworks at the festival. And in a perfect world he’d be sitting on his tailgate with Melody watching the display and then he’d kiss her and all would be well.
But this wasn’t a perfect world. And he owed Melody an apology.
Thirty minutes later, after he’d cleaned up, he drove to Melody’s. He told himself that no matter what was said he wasn’t going to judge and he wasn’t going to get angry. He was here to apologize and that was what he would do.
She opened the door before he’d made it up the steps. The warm light from inside the cabin bathed her in golden light and he had a deep yearning. How would it feel to have her welcome him home each night? He’d only spent three weeks in Melody’s company and yet he knew she was the one for him.
Not that she’d ever feel that way about him.
He swept his hat off and worried it between his hands, working his fingers along the rim as he looked at her. “I’ve come to apologize,” he said. “I was out of line today. Every day. Your brother is your business, and I had no right to impose myself into the situation.”
“You want to come in?”
Her soft invitation was unexpected. “No. I just came to say that.”
She nodded then surprised him by coming out onto the porch. She crossed her arms, walking barefoot to the edge of the porch. The porch light wasn’t on, but the light from the windows stretched in oblong shapes across a portion of the porch and into the yard. She stayed out of the light.
“I’ve been reading my Bible all afternoon,” she said, glancing at him before studying the night again. “Lacy came by and I talked to her. She saw us fighting and was worried. I told her about Ty.”
“She’s a good one to talk to.”
She nodded, her arms tightening. “Do you know that I’ve had my phone off the hook since the other night?”
&n
bsp; That startled him. “Why?”
She swung toward him. “Instead of facing Ty, I blocked him out. I didn’t send him the money, and I didn’t tell him I hadn’t.” She gave a harsh laugh. “I’m a regular ostrich. All these years I’ve been allowing myself to be a victim—I guess that’s the right word. I don’t know at this point, but I do know that I’ve been angry and put blame all over the place. But the reality is that I took the easy road. Supporting Ty’s habit all these years was easier than watching him suffer.”
She was in pain and it broke his heart. “Melody, you were doing the best that you could. I should never have been so hard on you.”
“No. Actually, you were right. We all have to answer to God in the end, and no one can do it for us. I have to let Ty go. He was taught right from wrong and he’s chosen over and over again this lifestyle…and why not? What’s it costing him? Nothing. It’s costing me. It cost my parents. But it’s costing him nothing. Anyway, thank you for opening my eyes. I think you were actually an answer to my prayers—you were speaking hard truths that I needed verbalized.”
What did he say to that? He wanted to be so much more to her than that, but the look in her eyes told him he didn’t have a chance. The saying “Don’t shoot the messenger” probably wasn’t going to help him here.
She started to go in and stopped. “I’m going home tomorrow.”
“Home?”
“Yes. I’m going back to Katy to see Ty.”
“What? But you just said?” What was he doing? Sticking his big mouth once more where it didn’t belong.
“I’m going to tell him in person that I’m not giving him any more money or support. What I need to say to him can’t be said over the phone.”
“Let me come with you.”
“This is something I have to do on my own.”
“This is a bad idea.”
“Why is that? Because it’s not your idea?”
Seth’s temper flared, and he had to check it. “He’s your brother, but I don’t know him. I don’t trust him, and my gut tells me this is no good. If the guy is on drugs and you make him mad, you don’t know how he’s going to react. If he’s been fooling with meth and coke and who knows what else, like I suspect, his brain isn’t firing on all cylinders.”
“I have to do this on my own. I have to be strong—isn’t that what you’ve been telling me? I’m trusting God on this and I’m going. Alone.”
Seth stepped toward her. Every fiber of his being told him this wasn’t a good idea. “Listen to me, Melody,” the words came out gruff, as gravelly as all of the emotions grounding around inside of him. He took a chance and lifted his hands to cup her face. “You are important to me. I love you. I know we’ve only known each other for a short period of time but truth is truth. And that is mine.” Her eyes widened, and she let out a small gasp. His heart was hammering, and he wanted to kiss her so bad he could hardly stand it. But now wasn’t the time. There might never be a time. “I can’t let you do this. Not on your own.”
She pulled out of his arms. “You don’t get a choice in this. Good night, Seth,” she said then slipped inside and closed the door.
Chapter Nineteen
As soon as Seth’s taillights disappeared, Melody packed a suitcase and headed out of town. She wasn’t taking the chance that he was going to be waiting on her porch bright and early the next morning. Call her foolish or whatever but she had to do this alone. She’d run from it long enough. And then, afterward, she could work through her feelings about Seth.
He’d said he loved her.
It was too unbelievable to believe.
And she was too mixed up emotionally to evaluate her emotions. Right now, she had so much of her past that she had to face. As she drove through the night, her thoughts circled backward to all the years she’d watched Ty work her parents. Looking back, she recognized his behaviors as the same. And yet she’d let him do the same with her.
She drove two hours to College Station before getting a room. She wasn’t sure if she could sleep, but she knew she needed to try. After saying a prayer that Ty would be open to hearing what she had to say and that he would be ready to enter rehab, she sank into bed and fell asleep almost instantly. It had been an emotionally exhausting few days.
She was up by seven and dressed and in her car by eight. She pulled up in front of Ty’s apartment in Katy a little after ten. It was sad. Her parents had left their home to Ty. They’d wanted to give him a place to live so that they wouldn’t have to worry about him being homeless, but they’d borrowed so much money to send him to treatment that when they died the house had been taken to pay the debt. And now, it had come to this. Sitting in her car she felt calm. He had taken so much from them, and if they were still alive she knew he would still be taking. Yes, it could be said that it was the drugs but Melody knew that her brother had once clearly known what he was doing and he’d chosen to forsake everything dear for his own selfish purpose.
Why had it taken her so long to come to terms and to peace with what she had to do? She’d asked herself the question over and over again on the long drive. And Lacy’s answer seemed the right one…she’d come to the reality of it when she was ready to accept it. And Seth had been the key to help her.
Again she didn’t dwell on thoughts of Seth. This was about her and Ty. For the first time in years, she felt at peace. She hadn’t made these choices for Ty. He had. And despite the fact his abuse had turned into addiction and some might argue that he couldn’t make a responsible choice now that he was ruled by the drugs. Melody knew he knew the system better than anyone, knew how to ask for help and the steps involved in getting admitted into a program. He’d worked the system and everyone who’d ever loved him. He might not be ready to get off the merry-go-round but she was.
Her stomach hurt as she walked up the steps. Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door. Her heart was pounding when he finally tugged it open. She almost gasped when she saw him. Hollow-eyed, drawn and dirty. Behind him the apartment didn’t look any better.
“So you finally showed up,” he sneered. “You bring my money? They’re throwing me out tomorrow.”
Anger and pity flooded her instantly. They were so intermixed that she almost broke down. She swallowed hard. The prodigal son in the Bible had to learn a lesson on his own.
“I came to tell you in person that I love you, Ty. And because I love you I’m not paying your way anymore.”
His eyes narrowed and his fist clenched. “You got all the money after Mom and Dad’s wreck. You owe me.”
“There wasn’t any money. They’d mortgaged the house twice to pay for your rehabs and your addictions. And you didn’t care.” Her temper soared but she pulled back and held out a piece of paper. “Here are the numbers of several free drug programs. I’ve given them to you before on the phone, but I wanted to make sure you had them. This is the last time. You have to keep up with everything in your life now. I won’t be taking calls from you anymore unless that call comes from inside a rehabilitation facility. If you’ll agree, then I’ll take you to one right now.”
“Cut the drama. I’m not goin’ to no rehab. They treat me like a dog, and they don’t work anyway. You know it.”
“They don’t work because you won’t let them. You have to want this and you know it. I can’t do it for you.”
“This is all Mom and Dad’s fault—”
“This is your fault. All Mom and Dad ever did was love you. And you threw it all away.”
He stepped toward her, his eyes wild, and Melody stepped back from the door realizing that maybe Seth had been right. Maybe she shouldn’t have come here alone.
“Take this,” she said, holding the list out and praying that she hadn’t messed up. He snatched it and threw it on the ground.
“I’d rather be on the street than back in one of those places. And it’ll be all your fault,” he said.
“No, Ty. It won’t be. All you have to do is ask for help and want it. The rehab will help
you through the physical process and if you ask Him, God will be there beside you to give you strength.” A calm came over Melody in that moment as if God had placed His hand on her shoulder reassuring her that she could let him go. She blinked back tears of sorrow for Ty, and in that moment she truly gave him to the Lord and put her hope in Him.
Her knees were weak as she turned and walked away.
“Odee,” Ty called but she didn’t look back. “C’mon, Odee, stop messing around and give me the check.”
She got in her car, took a deep breath and then she drove away. His future was up to him now.
She had her own future to think about.
Seth was sitting on Melody’s porch when she drove up at seven. Holding his temper in tight rein he pushed out of his chair. He was in his truck by the time she got out of her car.
He’d told himself this was her choice to go to her brother’s alone. It was her business. He didn’t have any business being mad, but it was like talking into the wind.
She looked tired and, despite his anger, he wanted to hold her so bad he almost broke. But she didn’t want it. She’d told him as much by shutting him out.
“Seth,” she said, coming up to his window.
He turned the ignition key. “You made it home.”
“Yes. Have you been here long?”
He dipped his chin. “Long enough.” How about twelve hours?
She looked at the ground. “I know you’re mad at me and with good reason. I shouldn’t have gone alone. You were right.”
His heart jerked against his ribs like a bull against a gate. “You’re all right, though? He didn’t hurt you?”
She shook her head. “But I realized how easily he could have. If he’d have been really messed up, it could have gotten ugly. I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you.”
He held his tongue and stared straight ahead. He’d prayed fierce prayers that God would protect her. “I’m glad you’re okay.” He pulled the shifter into Drive but didn’t let off the brake.
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