I appreciated that more than I could tell him. “I like a lot of things that we’ve done.”
“I have too. Do you like when I go down on you?”
That one was easy. He was good with his mouth. “Yes.”
“Do you like going down on me?”
He didn’t push me down or rush me in any way. I liked going down on him, but only because I trusted him not to hurt me while I was there. “Yes.”
“What about when I put my hand around your cock?”
It was so strange to be talking about sex like this. He’d always just assumed before, and everyone else had either paid me to do what they wanted or it didn’t matter one way or the other. “I like that. And I like touching yours too.”
“Are you open to trying things that have nothing to do with me being in you?”
I wasn’t sure what he was asking about, but I nodded. I kept reminding myself that I could say no and Resan would stop if I did. That little voice helped me trust him even when I didn’t know what he was asking me for.
“Are you interested in something tonight?”
“Yes.” I didn’t know what he wanted, but I did want something. I didn’t need to come, but I had to feel close to him again. After talking I needed that from him. He quietly stripped out of his shirt and pants, and I did the same. I started to get up, but he shook his head.
“I want you on your back for this. I won’t hold you down, and I won’t be inside of you, but I do want you under me. Is that something you can do?”
I stared up at him. Being under someone wasn’t something I was good at. We hadn’t been like that before either, because he knew it was hard for me to be trapped like that. “If I need you to stop…?”
“Then you tell me no.”
I wanted to believe him. I had to if I was going to trust him. “What if you’re close?”
He leaned down and gave me a gentle kiss. “If you say no, then everything stops. It doesn’t matter how close I am. If you’re not okay with something, then I don’t want to be doing it. I’m not here to hurt you.”
I believed him, and that was something that was so hard for me to do. I nodded, and he moved closer to me. He knelt between my legs, and I opened my thighs for him when he got closer. I can say no, I reminded myself. I could make this stop.
Resan kissed me as he brought our bodies together, rubbing against me. I liked kissing him. I liked the closeness of it and the warmth of his mouth. I liked that he never took too much or crushed our mouths together. It was always just enough.
He put his hand between us and gripped our shafts together. This was not something I was used to. I didn’t know what to do or where to put myself so I simply closed my eyes and didn’t resist the pleasure as I panted against his lips with each passing second. He thrust against me as if he were inside of me, but I had none of the anxiety or discomfort that came with having sex with him like that. I rested my ankles over the backs of his knees. I laid my hands over his shoulders. I focused on the pleasure he was sending through me with each quick thrust of his cock against mine.
Seconds later I whimpered as I came. He groaned into the pillow beside my head.
“Talk to me,” he panted.
I had no idea what he would expect me to say right then. I was still trying to figure out exactly what that was that he had done. It was a sexual act, and it had felt like sex, but it wasn’t sex in any definition that I’d ever been shown.
“Did you like that?”
At least that was a question I could answer honestly and completely. “Yes. I did.” Whatever that had been, I had enjoyed it. “Did you? It wasn’t too little for you?”
He chuckled as he shook his head. He rolled off of me. “No. It wasn’t. I was with you and I got to come. That’s what I need from sex. Being inside of you isn’t a requirement for my pleasure.”
“Thank you.” Sex was a complicated mess for me, but at least Resan was trying to make it simpler. “And it isn’t that I hate having you inside of me. I never hated it with you. It’s just not….” I tried to figure out how to explain this. “I feel broken there. It feels good at times, sometimes I can even get hard, but it’s not something I actually enjoy the whole way through. Even when I’m riding you, it doesn’t feel like something I’m doing. It’s still feels like something that’s being done to me, and I don’t like that.”
“I can understand why you’d feel that way, given your past. It’s not a problem for me. As long as you’re honest with me and I get to be close to you, that’s what matters to me.”
I was grateful for that. “There are people here who might be interested in doing that with you too, if you needed.”
His expression changed, then hardened. “I know we talked about this a little bit before, but I’m finding that my ideas of relationships have changed in the months that we’ve spent together. I am no longer interested in something more open, and I don’t want to be with more than one person either. If you’re interested in me at all, even if you need to take things slowly, I’d like to be with you.”
“Really? Even with how messed up everything about me is?”
He gave me a gentle kiss. “Yes.”
“Okay….” I breathed out and smiled up at him. I’d never had a relationship before, I didn’t even really know what one would mean, but I was willing to give him my best.
MORE FROM CAITLIN RICCI
A Planet Called Wish: Book One
The Intergalactic Star Pilot Academy has accepted Thierry Leroux into the elite class of sky year 2231. But the academy comes with a hefty price tag, and there’s no way he, a poor Sythe orphan, has the credits the academy requires. Thierry’s brother, Corbin, a high-class companion, suggests Thierry sell his virginity for the cost of tuition. It seems like a ridiculous idea, but it may be Thierry’s only shot, so Thierry asks Corbin to arrange a meeting on the pleasure planet of Wish.
On Wish, Thierry meets Corbin’s boss, Monroe, and they agree to auction off Thierry’s virginity. Thierry is grateful to the masked buyer he knows only as “Dragonfly,” and Dragonfly is gentle, making Thierry’s first time a good memory. When Dragonfly requests to see him again, and pay for the pleasure, Thierry returns to Wish. But in this game, falling in love is dangerous for the heart, and Thierry might not like the man behind the mask.
A Planet Called Wish: Book Two
For two decades Corbin Leroux has worked on the planet Wish as a high-priced companion. He loves his life where physical pleasure is encouraged and has no intention of quitting it. Corbin sees his clients almost as part of his family. Not even when bounty hunter Emmanuel Leoniste comes to kill him will Corbin roll over and give up his lifestyle.
Despite being a hired killer, Emmanuel lives by a strict moral code. Killing whores is acceptable, and easy. Or it was until he met up with Corbin. Worn down by the pesky Corbin’s resolve, Emmanuel accepts Corbin’s bribe and calls off the hit. But the truce might not last. Emmanuel’s mounting desire for Corbin causes problems. He refuses to allow anyone close enough to become intimate with him, especially someone like Corbin. Yet with each smile and soft kiss, Emmanuel’s emotional shield is dismantled piece by piece.
When his best friend, Lee, offered him his sub as part of a bet, Colton Prier never expected more than a clean condo from the boy. But Tate Nicholson is well-trained, eager , and he likes rope play as much as Colton enjoys tying him up. It should have ended after one night, but they begin meeting in secret, and Colton can’t stop thinking about Tate. It’s a betrayal of his friendship with Lee to fall in love with Tate, but Colton can’t help wanting the sub for himself.
He’s not alone in his feelings, either. Tate thought he was happy with Lee. Not completely fulfilled, but happy enough. But as he spends more time with Colton, he realizes Lee isn’t capable of giving him what he wants anyway. Lee demands his full submission, but Tate doesn’t want to be a lifestyle sub. Colton expects his obedience at times but gives him his freedom more often than not, which is more in line w
ith what Tate wants.
When Tate really needs his Dom and Lee isn’t around to help him, he reaches the tipping point and needs to choose who he wants to give his submission to, and to accept the consequences of his choice when he does.
Dare: Book One
For successful businessman Bran Wilson, selling the large Montana dairy farm that has been in his family for generations is an easy decision. He hates the farm, the land, even the cows, and wants nothing to do with any of it. But there’s a glitch in his plan: a stubborn cowboy from New Zealand who is as sexy as he is aggravating.
Kaden Barker loves the Wilson farm, and respected Bran’s grandfather up until the day he died. With his two best friends, he’s taken over working the farm and caring for the cows, and he’d happily spend the rest of his days doing it.
When Bran charges into his life, telling him he’s selling the farm and there’s nothing Kaden, or his friends, can do about it, the animosity between them is instant. But so is the attraction, and only one extreme can win out.
Dare: Book Two
Christophori Romanoff is an expert at being the perfect son for his homophobic father. But maintaining the facade comes with a heavy price, and when he swears off anonymous sex and getting drunk every night, he needs his friends more than ever. Only he’s convinced they’re busy with their own lives and better off without his interference. On the surface Chris is fine, but underneath the expensive suit and the law degree he got only to please his father, he’s breaking apart from the pressure, and he falls back on his oldest—and most dangerous—coping mechanism.
Samuel Mealamu hoped to hear from Chris soon after their last good-bye in Montana, but as the months go by without a word, he realizes what they started was one-sided. Still, he worries about the destructive path Chris was on and hopes the silence means he’s doing better. But nearly a year later, Chris finally calls, and it’s obvious he’s in trouble. Samuel thinks he’s seen Chris at his worst, but this new, far more broken man might be too much for even Samuel to help.
CAITLIN RICCI was fortunate growing up to be surrounded by family and teachers who encouraged her love of reading. She has always been a voracious reader and that love of the written word easily morphed into a passion for writing. If she isn’t writing, she can usually be found studying as she works toward her counseling degree. She comes from a military family, and the men and women of the armed forces are close to her heart. She also enjoys gardening, hiking, and horseback riding in the Colorado Rockies she calls home with her wonderful fiancé and their two dogs. Her belief that there is no one true path to happily ever after runs deeply through all of her stories.
Website: www.CaitlinRicci.com
BY CAITLIN RICCI
Blood Slave
Country Strong
Cuddling (Dreamspinner Anthology)
For the Asking
His Lion Tamer
Marked by Grief
Reckless
With Cari Z: Worth the Wait
A FOREVER HOME
Rescuing Jack
Of Monsters and Men
A PLANET CALLED WISH
To the Highest Bidder
Fantasy for a Gentleman
Falling Into the Black
THORNWOOD
One More Time
About Last Night
With Kara Nash
DARE
Dare to Risk
Dare to Hope
Published by Harmony Ink Press
Crush
First Time for Everything (Harmony Ink Anthology)
ROBBIE & SAM
Weathering the Storm
Head Above Water
Battle Born
Published by DREAMSPINNER PRESS
www.dreamspinnerpress.com
Published by
DREAMSPINNER PRESS
5032 Capital Circle SW, Suite 2, PMB# 279, Tallahassee, FL 32305-7886 USA
www.dreamspinnerpress.com
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of author imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Falling Into the Black
© 2017 Caitlin Ricci.
Cover Art
© 2017 Brooke Albrecht.
http://brookealbrechtstudio.com
Cover content is for illustrative purposes only and any person depicted on the cover is a model.
All rights reserved. This book is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution via any means is illegal and a violation of international copyright law, subject to criminal prosecution and upon conviction, fines, and/or imprisonment. Any eBook format cannot be legally loaned or given to others. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the Publisher, except where permitted by law. To request permission and all other inquiries, contact Dreamspinner Press, 5032 Capital Circle SW, Suite 2, PMB# 279, Tallahassee, FL 32305-7886, USA, or www.dreamspinnerpress.com.
Digital ISBN: 978-1-63533-489-0
Published March 2017
v. 1.0
Printed in the United States of America
Falling Into the Black Page 15