by Vines, Jolie
Her shoulder sagged. “Then no deal. Right. Um, the second thing is to extend an invitation. Callum, Da’s oldest brother and the chief of our clan, is hosting a meal at Castle McRae tomorrow. Ye and Isla are included in the invitation. It’s last-minute, so ye might have plans…”
“No plans. We can be there.”
Cait linked her gaze to mine once more, and neither of us moved or spoke. Cruel tension ached where I held myself firm.
“Good,” she finally said. “It’s at five-thirty because of the bairns. Callum and Mathilda’s daughter, Skye, is visiting with her family. She has two children not far off Isla’s age, so there will be someone for her to play with.”
Another pause. Another long stare.
“Caitriona,” I asked, using her longer form name without conscious thought.
“Yes?”
“I’m sorry about your deal.”
“So am I.” She pressed up on her toes, kissed my cheek, and left.
17
Lochinvar
A morning on, and I was made of regret. Not that I’d change my mind about Cait’s offer, but I’d woken in the night so aware of the woman beyond the cottage walls, I nearly lost my mind.
“Ready?” Isla pogoed on the spot, her hiking shoes dropping wee clumps of mud on the stone step.
“Ready, Captain,” I confirmed. “Lead the way.”
Isla stepped out into the winter sunshine and promptly knocked on our neighbour’s door.
Cait answered, a smile at the ready for my daughter. For me, I got a sly look and a faint blush as welcome.
“We’re going for a walk,” I explained. “You’re coming with us.”
Cait blinked. “That’s very kind of ye, but—”
“Ye hate hiking. We know. So we’re going to make ye love it.”
I wanted Cait as a friend, and her guidance on a subject I couldn’t bring myself to consider, so we had to start over.
Her wry expression told me everything I wanted to know.
Bossy, she implied with a raised eyebrow.
Undeniably, I replied via a chin lift.
“Please?” Isla begged. “Please, please, please.”
Cait’s bemused expression shifted to acceptance. “Well, okay. But don’t let me choose the direction or we’ll be horribly lost.”
She ducked back inside and reappeared in sturdy boots and a warm jacket. For once, the weather was in our favour and, though the air was chilly, the sun blazed.
With Isla leading the way, we set out from the cottages.
The splendour of the Highlands had never appeared as pretty as today. Soon, we crested the hill our cottages perched on and descended the other side, a glistening loch in the distance.
Cait kept pace with me, unspeaking though eyeing me when she thought I wasn’t looking.
“Are ye from the north?” she asked eventually. “I’m guessing from your accent that’s so.”
“Aye. When I was born, my parents lived in Aberdeen, then Ma took Blair and me back to her hometown of Torridon, north of here.”
“Your father didn’t go?”
I rubbed over my beard. “He was a violent drunk. We basically fled. He didnae follow, or not that Ma ever told me. Both of them died before I was twenty.”
Cait didn’t reply, and I glanced over to find her wide-eyed.
“God, that’s awful.”
I raised a shoulder. “Ma did what she had to do in taking us away.”
Cait shivered. “Ye get your protective instincts from her then.”
I’d stopped to offer her a hand over loose rock but stared.
“The mountain rescue? Plus you’re obviously military.”
She placed her hand in mine, and awareness zinged over me, spreading from where our skin touched.
“Am I now?”
“Oh, come on. Sure, you’re a private man, but some things can’t be hidden.”
We continued walking, and I had to force myself to let go of her fingers. The swell of enjoyment that built in me, though, I didn’t shy from.
“What military man signs am I giving off?” I raised an eyebrow.
Ah fuck, I was flirting.
“You’re highly organised, punctual, made of energy, and when you say you’ll do something, it’s done. I have relatives who were the army or RAF, so I know the type. Oh, and your sister is in service. Not exactly a stretch to get there.”
“Fine. Ye got me. I was RAF.”
Cait beamed. “That was my guess. What kind of job did ye do?”
“The last military search and rescue operation. Mostly now it’s provided by civilian contractors, like the one I run for Gordain.”
“It makes sense for ye to be here then.”
“What do ye do for a living?” I changed the subject, earning a chuckle from Cait.
“I work an incredibly boring job at the university in Inverness, designing courses for students.”
“Ye dinna enjoy it?”
“Nope. I don’t hate it either.”
“Why do ye do it?”
“The steady income, I get to work from my cottage, and it doesn’t take up too many brain cells. I need those for other things.”
I chewed on this for a minute. A desk job was a mystery to me. I couldn’t imagine being still for that long.
Cait picked up on my hesitation. “What? Ye don’t approve?”
“Life is too short not to do what ye love.”
She stared at me then we both burst out in laughter. Doing what she loved could’ve been part of her sex deal, considering how much she liked the act. The tension in me ramped up, and I breathed in through my nose, far too enamoured with the pretty woman at my side.
“Truth is, I’ve never wanted anything more than to be a mother. Scarlet has this amazing career as a businesswoman, and plenty of my aunts and cousins run their own companies. I always wanted to be closer to home. To raise bairns. That probably sounds unambitious to ye.”
I rubbed my chest against a lingering ache. “There’s nothing easy about being the centre of a family. It’s a noble calling.”
“Ye think?”
We shared another look, and Cait graced me with her beautiful smile.
Isla buzzed back over. “What are you two laughing about?”
In a sweet move, Cait captured Isla’s hand, and they strolled along, swinging their arms.
“Your da was teasing me because I’m already lost and we’re not even half an hour from home.”
Isla cackled. “I’ve only lived here for a few months and I can find my way easily. You’re a grown up.”
“Isla,” I warned for her cheek.
My daughter and Cait exchanged a glance, amusement on both their faces as they conspired.
My heart skipped a wee beat. It was too nice, and too easy. Cait’s company had turned the hike into far greater fun than usual. Isla and I were too used to each other. She needed someone to complain about me to. Or laugh at me with.
A short while on, Isla darted ahead, leaving us alone.
“I wanted to ask a favour,” I said.
Really, I wanted to kiss her, but that wasn’t an option.
“No deal,” Cait deadpanned.
I heaved a regretful sigh. “It’s about your family dinner at the castle. I know half the names, but the relationships aren’t all clear.”
“Do ye want me to run through everyone?”
“Please.”
“There are a lot of us McRaes. Let me see.” She held up a hand. “My da is one of four brothers. The eldest is Callum. He’s married to Mathilda, and they own Castle McRae. Callum’s head of the clan, too. They have three children, Lennox, who’s married to Isobel. He runs the snowboarding centre, she operates a classic car garage. They have a baby, Archie, who is just the cutest. Then Skye lives with Artair on a remote island in the Inner Hebrides, that Artair owns, by the way. They have a son, Mathe, and a daughter, Adaira. Lennox and Skye’s youngest sibling is Blayne. He’s married to Brodie and Casey, and they’re expectin
g a bairn in a couple of weeks.”
She tilted her head to make sure I was keeping up.
“Go on,” I prompted, updating my mental map.
“Next brother is Gordain. He’s married to Ella, and their daughter is Viola. Vi got hitched to Leo last summer, and they, too, have a bairn on the way. Aunt Ella’s brother, James, is married to Mathilda’s best friend, Beth. Isobel is their daughter. They also have Sebastian, who’s married to Rose and has baby Persephone.”
“I dinna think I’ve met them yet.”
“Aside from Isobel, the Fitzroys all live in England in this enormous mansion. Now, back to the Scots. Da has a twin brother, William. Both men are on your crew.”
“Aye, I know many of these names, but this is really helping.”
“Good. William is known as Wasp. He’s married to Taylor.”
“Cameron’s parents.”
“Exactly. Last but not least, Da married Scarlet, and they have me, then my younger twin brothers Max and Maddock. Maddock’s at uni, and Max works in Isobel’s garage.” She dusted off her hands.
“Ye have so many relatives.”
“I do. We make up our town, pretty much. I can’t really compare it to growing up elsewhere, as I was only ever here, but I know I had a charmed childhood.”
I stared at Isla, not for the first time wishing I could give her something similar. Brothers and sisters. Cousins to play with. Big family meals to attend.
“I’ve noticed friction between your brothers,” I probed.
“They’ve always fought. Both are competitive little arseholes.” She grinned. “Neither will tell us what the latest problem is about. It’s like they have their own twin-world and are content fighting over it. We only intervene if there’s blood drawn.”
“Blayne’s relationship is a strange one,” I moved on.
“It is, but it works for them.”
“I’ve never even managed a two-person relationship. Three is incomprehensible.”
Cait went silent. Her forehead creased in a frown.
“Apart from your wife?”
There was no good answer to that. I shut my mouth and kept on walking.
In the distance, a chopping sound rent the sky, then moments later, a helicopter swung into view. I tracked it, identifying the Eurocopter as one from Gordain’s hangar.
“Do ye fly?” Cait twisted to watch it pass.
Relief flickered, and I was glad to focus on something else. “Naw. Winch man.”
“You’d hang out of one of those? Jeez.”
Isla raced off to investigate something to our left, and I stopped, Cait doing the same.
“It isnae that bad. It’s easier than flying, that’s for certain. The only time I worried, we were hovering over a fishing boat in a storm. The coastguard was busy, it being a hell of a night, so the RAF was called in.”
“Tell me about it.”
Cait’s attention fully on me was like a beam of sunlight. Her gaze holding mine, her focus set—I wanted to keep it. The whole morning of conversation felt like we were deepening our understanding of each other. I’d intended not to let anyone close, yet I talked to Cait with ease.
The sense of safety in another soul knowing my life was addictive.
“The boat had capsized a few miles off the coast, the crew clinging to the hull. I went out and collected them one by one. The howling tempest battered us the whole time, and I could hardly see for half of it, rain pelting down, sea spray flying up in a wall of water.”
She shivered. “I bet ye didn’t even hesitate.”
“Never have. Ye cannae think like that when lives are at risk.”
Cait’s gaze flitted from my eyes to my lips. “Ye know, Lochinvar. We’re very lucky to have ye here.”
The chemistry between us swelled all the more.
Ah fuck. I wanted her so badly it hurt. An acute and physical ache deep inside.
“Lochie,” I corrected.
Before, I’d told her my nickname but hadn’t given her permission to use it. Something had shifted now, and I needed her to use that name.
“Like I said, Caitriona,” she replied softly.
“Da!” Isla’s shout broke the moment.
We hurried across the slope, and I took Cait’s arm so she didn’t fall.
Isla stared down the glen, hopping from one foot to the other. “There are two people over there. One just fell down a slope. They haven’t got up, and the other person is calling them, and their dog’s going bananas. Look, can you see them?”
I followed her gaze. Sure enough, a woman hovered at the top of the slope, her dog dancing around her. Below, another person lay crumpled on a rock-strewn slope.
The second figure raised their head, red on their face and on the rocks.
Adrenaline flooded my system, and I took two steps, then spun around to Cait and Isla. “They need help. I have my radio so will call it in if I need a spare pair of hands. Cait, can ye take Isla home?”
Isla snorted. “Do ye mean can I take Cait home, Da?”
Cait’s warm gaze touched on me. “We’ve gone in a straight line in broad daylight. Even I can find my way back. Go do your thing. We’ll bake something for when ye get back.”
With a wrench, I tore myself away and left to help the injured party. If I hadn’t, I probably would’ve done something stupid like begged Cait to offer her deal again.
I could hide my feelings and not burden her with what she didn’t want. I’d enough self-control not to show anything on the outside. God knows I’d had practice at managing my emotions.
Aye, I could take the hit and survive it.
I let the energy of my task in hand take me over, pushing thoughts of Cait’s deal out of my head. And what I’d do if she asked again.
18
Caitriona
I paced my living room, my day’s work mostly already done though it wasn’t yet lunchtime. Yesterday, after Lochie had been called to action, Isla and I had returned to bake brownies. Her da showed up two hours later, a happy outcome to his mission with the injured man taken to hospital by his girlfriend.
The little family stayed for tea and cake.
Aside from me dropping and cracking my favourite mixing bowl when Lochie had stood too close to me, it had been so lovely.
God, I wished he hadn’t friendzoned me.
My phone dinged, and I leapt to grab it. Earlier, I’d sent Viola and Casey a group message with a specific request. My message was top of the screen.
Cait: Give me your top three sex positions. Stat.
Viola: Stat? Like you’re about to have sex? Put your phone down, woman.
Cait: No, no. I mean for future reference.
Casey: Ooh, I like this game. Um, let me see. We’re talking one-on-one, so in no particular order: the guy standing up with me in his arms, legs around his waist; me flat on my back, not allowed to use my hands (try it and you’ll see); sixty-nine until one of us can’t stand it and takes full control.
Viola: Upright, on my knees, Leo behind me.
Casey: That is super hot. Making notes.
Viola: Mine’s hot? You wrote an essay.
Casey: It’s one of my favourite subjects. I have a lot of opinions.
I sighed, overwhelm creeping in. There was so much I didn’t know. Where the heck did I start? I might not have a sex partner in mind, but knowing this felt important.
Cait: I offered Lochinvar a sex deal. He turned me down. I still want to have a few ideas, though. In case I ever find another man to try them out on.
Viola: Lochinvar turned you down? Is he mad?
Cait: I think I scared him off. I didn’t get the chance to explain I’m not asking for anything more. He said we’d just be friends, I think to put me in my place.
Viola: Talk to him again. You obviously like each other, and you’re compatible.
Cait: Do you know what’s scarier? If he actually says yes.
Viola: If he does, then tell him that this is difficult for you and I be
t he will have ways to make it easier. He’s probably thought about it a lot.
Casey: Agreed. You’re focused on the mechanics, but what you’re exploring is attraction. It’s intangible and should be fun. Think of Lochinvar as a friend, like he wants, and not an object.
A door slammed, and I peered out of my window. Lochie strode from his car toward his cottage, a heavy-looking bag in his hand. His gaze locked on to me behind the glass. A smart salute came my way.
Heat washed through me.
Then Lochie carried on into his home.
Fuck! Why couldn’t this be easy?
With a groan, I withered to sit on the couch. Should I offer again? He’d been willing before I’d said anything about my stupid deal.
If I’d somehow come across wrong, I should correct that. Then he’d have the full picture. And might change his mind.
Reassured, though still trembling at what I was about to do, I stood.
A rap sounded at the entrance to my home, and I hopped, my heart pounding.
I stashed my phone, brushed down my dress, then opened the door.
On the other side, the huge mountain rescue leader waited.
His expression jumped between determination and plain, unconcealed need.
“Caitriona,” he said.
“Lochie.”
I ushered him forward and shut us in, my fingers trembling.
He held up the bag. “I brought ye something.”
Taking it with care, I peered inside. It was a mixing bowl. A pretty one, with white interior and blue flowers on the outside.
Lochie didn’t budge, his muscles rigid. “Ye broke yours yesterday. I thought it would be missed so I drove out and bought a replacement.”
What an utterly friend-like thing to do.
“Thank you, that’s really kind.” Wilting all the more, I stepped into the kitchen and placed the bowl on the counter before I dropped this one, too.
Then I rotated slowly, eyeing my neighbour as he advanced, hands in his pockets.
“You’re kind to my daughter. And to me.”
I couldn’t summon a reply, so caught as I was in the intensity of his stare.
“I made a mistake.” His voice turned to gravel.
“What was that?”
“Saying no to your offer. I havenae been able to think of anything else since.”