by Violet Duke
With a sighing headshake, Addison went into a back office and came out with what looked like the love child of a rolling office chair and parts of a coffee kiosk cart. “I know you’re ‘fine’ but it’ll make me feel less guilty as your boss if you try to do some of the prep work on this new work station Tim built with some old kitchen islands he found at the salvage building materials store. He souped it up so you can roll around the kitchen, and even, oh I don’t know, carry pots of spaghetti sauce so they don’t erupt all over you…” She showed Francine all the various cutting boards that rotated up from beside the arm rests and swiveled down to a flat surface sort of like those old school airplane trays that came out of the arm rest. “What do you think? It'd really help my peace of mind, strictly from a liability standpoint.”
Francine hobbled to the chair, and fell into the seat with a relieved, albeit silent, groan. “Well, I don’t want you worrying about worker’s insurance stuff so I guess I’ll give it a try.”
“Thank you, Franny. I appreciate it.”
Throughout the brief exchange, Caine couldn’t take his eyes of Addison.
“Still all goodness and light,” he muttered to himself. Of course she was. Which is why her staff clearly adored her, and vice versa.
Seeing her soft, happy smile as she peered out the window at all the families communing in the courtyard after Hank and Francine left, Caine had to forcibly root his feet to the ground to keep from going over there and dragging her into his arms.
She was closer than they’d been in seven years, and still not nearly close enough.
As if hearing his thoughts, she spun around.
And positively glowed. “Caine.”
God, this woman. The way she said his name hadn’t changed at all.
She’d always been able to make him feel ten-feet tall every time he saw her eyes dance and lips curve up into a happy grin by the time she got to the end of his name.
“You’ve built something else here, Addison. Never seen anything like it.”
Her face transformed into a radiant smile that nearly put the Arizona rising sun to shame.
Instantly, he lost track of what they’d been talking about.
“Thanks. I’m really proud of everything we’ve built here.”
Right. Okay. The housing complex was the topic of the moment. Not her ability to render him stupid with a smile.
“Like I mentioned earlier, this is a transitional housing facility where we take in between fifty to seventy families, depending on size, for three to nine months at a time as they get back on their feet. We did a soft launch two months ago with some families we’d been working with through the project development phase. And as of this past week, we’re now at full capacity.”
He followed her gaze as it landed on the big group photo under the CORE: Cohabitate-Rehabitate sign on the wall next to her. In the photo was a large cafeteria filled to capacity with families eating and talking…and a teary-eyed Addison watching on from the side door.
“At first, my investors weren’t keen on the dining hall idea,” she admitted with a quiet smile. “They didn’t understand the point of having a supplementary meal plan and a kitchen in every unit. I explained to them how invaluable it was to have Joe’s Diner take care of some of the kids’ meals, and how equally important it was for us to cook and eat together as a family. So far, the combination has been going great. The residents eat most of their meals in the cafeteria when they first move in, and then each month, they’re responsible for more of their own meals until they transition out fully.” Her shoulders rose and fell proudly. “And from what I’ve heard, every single family has broken bread with another family at least once, most now fairly regularly.”
“I get it now—the name you chose.” He watched her light up over that. “You’re building a true communal community here, not just a housing complex.”
“That’s the foundation we built everything on. Whether it’s cooking, or pitching in with landscaping or babysitting, to more teaching and mentoring roles with any of the residents wanting to learn a new craft or trade, everyone plays a part to help their neighbors, and work together.” Her tone firmed with conviction. “We’re strict. No drinking or drugs. Everyone does their part on site. No one pan handles. Pets are welcome only if they are well cared for and up to date with all their shots and vet checks—luckily, we have a local vet who helps with that. Everyone is responsible for upkeep in their areas. Kids all go to school. Able adults go to work. If you’re not willing to be a part of the community, you won’t pass go. And if there are ever any issues of violence—zero tolerance—one strike and my armed security guards escort you out.”
Caine whistled low under his breath.
Sweet lord, the woman had always been fierce. But now, she was a hurricane-like force to be reckoned with.
Running his eyes over her head-to-toe then, he observed aloud, “I can see now why you added a whole six inches to your height on your driver’s license.” In full business-badass and lioness-protecting-the-pride mode, she stood head and shoulders over mere mortal women.
Taking his observation as a literal one, she pointed down at her boots and shrugged. “The four-inch heels completes the new look. I just fudged the perfectly acceptable two extra inches that lots of folks do to get myself in the six-foot range, which, as you know, puts me in a totally different bracket as far as DMV searches go.” Tugging on her drastically different jet-black hair with its streaks of silver and neon blue tips, she added, “Had it on good authority that it’s better to embrace a bold new identity folks won’t question and live out loud in plain sight rather than try to shrink away in the shadows and hide. So I tried a bad-girl persona on for size to see if I could pull it off. Took a few adjustments, but eventually, I landed on this blend of tatted-up leather-loving biker babe who doesn’t take crap from anyone, and dressed-for-the-club-24-7 lace-loving rocker chick, with a little bit of a woman-of-mystery vibe thrown in there for fun.”
That description was right on the money. And despite her looking so different from the Addison he remembered, he had to smile at the new look she’d chosen to put together. It was the perfect, unapproachably sexy disguise…that still couldn’t hide her inherent sweetness.
“So basically you’ve been hiding in plain sight.” Smart.
“Yep. And as a bonus, I’ve found that no one asks the woman with spiky dominatrix stilettos and brass-knuckle jewelry many probing questions about where she grew up, or whether a kid Kylie’s age could really be her daughter, or why she’s running a transitional housing complex for homeless families.”
She frowned then. “I actually still have no idea how you knew who I was—”
“Of course I knew.” He gazed at her still-familiar features, carefully hidden though they were under all that dark eye make-up and wine-colored gloss that was making her lips damn distracting. “You’ve changed, but not in ways that make you unrecognizable to me.”
“Good,” she said softly. “Because being unrecognizable to you was never the goal. I only changed to stay off the radar of sick, psycho stalkers. Old and new.”
Knowing she’d felt the need to change at all for that reason was a punch to the gut.
“Is he…” she began. “Is David still on the loose?”
Correction. That question was the mother of all gut punches. His eyes narrowed. “How can you even ask me that? Of course he’s still out there. I’ve been hunting him this entire time. I would’ve come to find you and the kids if I’d caught him. You know that.”
She nodded. Slowly.
He didn’t like the shadow of doubt in her eyes. Not one friggin’ bit. “Did you think I forgot about you? Or gave up? Because I never did, not once, Addison.”
“I-I…wasn’t sure. I would’ve understood completely if you had. Seven years is a long time. No one would expect you not to move on after—”
“I didn’t,” he broke in before she filled her head with those kind of thoughts. Which begged the que
stions that burned his throat to vocalize. “Did you forget? Or give up?”
Shit. That wasn’t fair of him to ask. She was right; seven years was a long time. “Never mind. You obviously don’t need to answer that.”
“I didn’t,” she replied softly. “Forget. Or give up.”
The muscles in his jaw unlocked, and he finally took in some much-needed oxygen.
…Only to feel the air halt in his lungs when she added, “But, I have recently started to try and think of you as a part of a past I can’t go back to.”
If not for the pain he could practically see hemorrhaging out of her as she said it, her words would’ve slayed him. “Why the change?” He had to know.
She took in her own deep breath. Then another. Until finally: “I can’t begin to imagine what it’s been like for you all this time, Caine. All I know is what it’s been like for me.” Fresh anguish filled her gaze. “The past seven years have been…slowly breaking my heart. In ways I didn’t even realize because the ache in my chest had become my new normal. The wondering, the waiting never stopped.”
Her voice now barely above a whisper, she painted him a heartbreaking picture he couldn’t unsee. “Every time the phone rang, or a knock came at the door, I’d find myself holding my breath and hoping, wishing, praying that it’d be you. And when it wasn’t, I’d feel my heart split at the seams just a little bit more, find myself needing to hold onto you in my dreams just a little bit tighter so I didn’t break completely. Only…every night, the dream would turn into the same nightmares I haven’t been able to escape since I first saw how crazy David really is.” A tortured black cloud shadowed over her then, making her look every bit as haunted as she sounded. “Soon, it became a vicious cycle—me wanting to sleep so I could have you near, but knowing that it’d end with me screaming myself awake and running to the kids’ room to make sure they were safe.”
Every quiet confession stabbed him deeper than the last. The very idea that she’d gone through that type of hurt and torment every day since she’d left robbed him of the ability to reply. To rage against the bastard who’d put them in this neverending hell.
When a tear slipped down her cheek, the rage took a backseat. Never should this woman be crying over him. “You should’ve stopped waiting, baby. Sooner than just ‘recently.’ If I’d known you were going through that, I would’ve...”
Chased her to the ends of the earth to put a stop to it himself.
But first, he’d have screwed police protocol and taken the sniper shot he’d had of David several years ago when he’d had the chance. With the Spencer Securities custom rifle his brother Gabe and sister Lia had used their unique expertise to build for him, he damn sure wouldn’t have missed. He would’ve—
“You would’ve what?” she asked quietly, stopping him from thinking the unthinkable.
Bringing himself back to the woman he loved so much it hurt, he answered truthfully, “I would’ve found a way to contact you…and told you to do exactly what you decided to do finally.”
Put us in the past.
Thankfully, she didn’t ask him to say the silent statement aloud.
“It was a good decision, Addison.”
She lifted a shoulder as if unconvinced. “Jury’s still out. Probably because even though I’d ‘decided’ this all when the CORE housing project officially chose this site here in Phoenix last year, I couldn’t bring myself to following through until much, much later.” Heartbroken eyes met his. “I’d spent so long waiting for you, I didn’t know how to stop. Didn’t really want to give it all up.” A small, sad smile touched her lips. “So, I started slow. Toughened up by giving myself manageable goals—like not pausing to conjure your image before answering the phone whenever it rang.”
Jesus. He felt like beating the shit out of himself for being party to her having to ‘toughen up’ like that, to her having to scab over the cuts in her heart their messed-up situation had caused.
“It took a while,” she admitted. “But I got to a point where I wasn’t wondering about you and waiting for you every single day anymore.”
Her eyes widened in surprise when she looked down and found his hand gripping hers. But she didn’t let go.
“Surprisingly, I missed it a little bit. That daily fantasy I’d have imagining how you’d show up at my door—what you’d say, what you’d do.” Her lips quirked up into a crooked little smile. “Figures you’d manage to catch me off guard. In all the thousands of scenarios I’d played in my head like a movie scene, not once did I picture you outside my car door. After pulling me over, no less.”
He knew it was coming, could feel her slipping away.
Damn the universe for yanking her away from him just when he finally got her back.
“Caine, this limbo we’re in is never going to end. As long as David’s still out there, you’re always going to be looking for him, and I’m always going to be waiting for you. That’s not healthy for either of us.”
It killed him to say it, but he did anyway. “You’re right.”
Though he could see she’d been visibly preparing herself for him to agree, she still flinched.
He searched deep for the strength. Surprised the hell out of himself when he found it. “You’re right, we need a clean break. You deserve the chance to be happy, to make a life for yourself here, a future without one eye on a tragic past. You shouldn’t have to wait or wonder over any man, sweetheart.”
Rubbing his thumb over her racing pulse point at her wrist, he added so she wouldn’t have any doubt, “I know I can’t take away those years you spent wondering, but I can swear to you, honey, that I thought about you every single day, too. If David hadn’t somehow managed to evade us every time we got close enough to apprehend him, I promise I would’ve found you.”
Her lids slid closed for a moment as her hand squeezed his.
When they opened again, she had that same indomitable strength he’d always been so amazed by. “So where do we go from here?” she asked, finally. “Is this one of those ‘we’ll still stay friends’ situations?”
He had an utterly volatile, visceral reaction to the notion of relegating their relationship to friends and nothing more.
While his brain—and heart—struggled to agree to her suggestion, he noticed a small crinkle at the corner of her eyes as her gaze dropped down to his uniform.
He stepped back a bit and peered down at himself. “Is my fly down? Or did I spill mustard on me during lunch?”
“No. You look great, like always.” Her smile made another shy appearance. “Just…in my mind, I’d figured you’d be a detective or something by now. Maybe even police chief. But seeing you in uniform again, honestly, I can’t imagine you doing anything else.”
“I like being a beat cop,” he said simply.
“I remember. You were really good at it, too. Bet you still are.”
The frank approval in her expression meant a lot. Over the years, a lot of the buddies he’d gone to the police academy with had become detectives, constantly encouraging him to transition as well. But for Caine, being a cop had always been about more than just catching criminals; it was about protecting communities, right out there on the frontline.
He saw her eyes move from his uniform to his beard then. And just like earlier on the side of the road, her gaze warmed with something a touch more than mere curiosity.
Dragging his hand over his scruffy jawline, he tried to remember the last time he’d remembered to shave. He couldn’t.
What he was able to remember, however, was how his five o’clock shadow used to pink the petal soft skin by her collarbone, more than anywhere else on her body.
The reminder had a very predictable, and soon to be very obvious effect on him.
Something in his expression must have given him away.
Abruptly, her eyes dilated and her breathing picked up speed. He found himself wondering if he put his lips to her neck right now, right over her tattoo, if he’d feel her heartrate pounding a
way like his was.
She retreated a step, and then—in the spirit of this ‘friendship’ he still hadn’t agreed to officially—asked politely, “Want some coffee while you wait for Kylie? I can brew some up pretty quick.”
Lordy, the word ‘coffee’ was triggering memories of her special brew that were downright dirty in his current mindset. Not cool getting this turned on by her offering you coffee, dude. At this rate, you’re going to look like you’re packing a second night stick.
“That’s okay,” he eventually replied. “Water’s fine.”
She blinked in disbelief. “Are you sure? I still remember how to make it the way you used to like.”
Seriously, was she trying to kill him?
Before he could politely decline again—maybe—a loud, low voice called out from just outside the office, “Hi, honey. I’m home.”
And just like that every male atom in his body stormed his senses, as if some primal, possessive alert had just been triggered.
He was man enough to admit that when it came to Addison, he had more caveman tendencies than was probably kosher in modern society. And close to zero control over it.
“Alec?” Addison called back. “Why are you and Kylie home so late?”
Not. Helping.
Hearing her reference another man in any sentence with the word ‘home’ made him just a little more unhinged.
She moved toward the door, but Caine didn’t, couldn’t let her past him.
Then when a man built like a damn NFL lineman came up to the doorway, he couldn’t help the growl that erupted. “Who the hell is Alec?”
Yep. Zero control.
Chapter Five
Addison knew she shouldn’t be ready to turn boneless over his alpha tone. And yet here she was, in nearly a puddle of swoon while his gaze held her prisoner the entire time.
Somehow though, she managed to keep her female dignity in tact by not rushing to answer the rumbling demand.
Not an easy feat seeing as how her emotions had been rocketing around her insides since he’d pulled her over earlier today. The last few hours, she’d been a nervous, discombobulated wreck waiting for him to arrive on site.