by Oliver, Lucy
“Daniel!” His mother ran down and threw her arms around him. “What a wonderful surprise! Where’s Imogen? I thought you were going abroad for Christmas.”
“I’ll explain later, things have changed a bit. Where’s Dad?”
“Said he was going for a pint at the sailing club, but I suspect he’s gone to buy my Christmas present. I’ll make a bed up; go into the lounge, your sister’s in there.”
Daniel eased his rucksack off his shoulders, flexed his back, then opened the sitting room door. Sitting cross-legged on the rug beside a tree glowing with tiny white lights his sister, Ali, looked like the excited little girl he remembered, waiting for Santa at Christmas, until she sat up straighter and he saw the huge swelling under her knitted dress. Her grey eyes were lively, reminding him he should smile more. Compared to her cheerful face, his expression in the mirror above the fireplace looked grim.
“Daniel, I thought I heard your voice!” she said and began to heave herself up.
“Hi, Ali.” He kissed her cheek. “Don’t stand up, mum would never forgive me if your waters broke all over the carpet.”
She laughed, sitting back down. “I’m surprised you know about things like that, obsessive sportsman that you are.”
“Even sailors watch TV. How are you feeling?”
“All right, just want it over with now. I’m afraid the baby’s going to decide to come when Steve’s in the middle of the Atlantic.”
“I thought he was coming off the fishing boats?” Daniel sank onto the sofa.
Ali shrugged. “There’s no work, and with me going on maternity leave, we can’t take the risk of him being unemployed. I hate it when he’s out with the fleet, one of the trawlers lost a man last week.”
“Steve’s an experienced and careful fisherman.”
“Yes, but you know what the ocean can be like.” With her mouth set, she didn’t resemble a gleeful child anymore, but looked like his mother did when the boats were late back into harbour.
“It’s not too bad out there today,” he said, standing up to draw the curtains so she couldn’t see the trees bent double.
“Where’s Imogen?”
“With her family, we’ve called off the wedding.”
“What?”
“It’s cancelled, we’ve split up.”
“Oh.” She stared at him, wide eyed. “I’m sorry, you must be so upset. Was it her or you?”
“Technically her, but she was right. It was a relief when she admitted it wasn’t working, I knew too, but didn’t want to upset her.”
“You couldn’t have married her then, it would have ended up even worse in the long run.”
“I know, I just couldn’t face the guilt of cancelling the wedding, it was a mistake to ask her in the first place, I mistook fondness for love.”
“I think you just wanted to get married to prove to yourself you’d moved on. I was never sure about Imogen; nice girl, but there was no connection between you.”
Daniel turned to look at her. For years it had been him advising Ali, but his sister was grown up now, a wife and soon to be a mother. He stretched and held his hands, the fingers still numb, toward the gas fire.
“I rushed into it, certainly. Anyway … ” He yawned. “How is everyone here?”
“Fine, busy with the Winter Gala, I’ve baked some cakes for it.”
“I remember a Summer Gala.”
“It’s similar, just colder, we need funds to replace the lifeboat, it’s getting old and worn now. Carly’s organising it.”
His head flicked back. “She didn’t used to be into fundraising.”
“She does a lot of things like that now, I think it’s to keep busy. The gift shop in the harbour belongs to her too, it sells some great stuff.”
“I can’t imagine her as a shop keeper.”
Ali’s eyes narrowed. “Her training bursary was cancelled when she had to drop out of the sailing team. She left school with no qualifications so there wasn’t much else she could do except set up her own business. We raised some money for her after the accident, which she used to pay for stock and rent; since then, she’s done really well.”
“Do you see much of her now?”
“No, I drop into the shop sometimes. We’re friendly, but it’s not like it used to be. It’s a shame; I miss her, but it got too awkward.”
Swallowing the hard lump in his throat, he closed his eyes. “I hadn’t thought about money, about how she was supporting herself.”
“Well, she hasn’t got any family has she? Except for her waste-of-space brother, although he’s improved recently, her mother scarpered shortly after the accident, didn’t want the hassle of looking after her.”
“Her mother was never interested, Carly used to look after Liam.” He lay back on the sofa, staring at the ceiling.
“I’m sorry.” Ali rose and sat beside him. “I shouldn’t have talked about it, it sounds like you’ve had a hard time lately. Mum said you hadn’t qualified for the Nationals this year because your boat developed a fault during the time trials.”
“She’s being kind, it wasn’t the boat, it was me.”
“No one wins everything, you’ve got two gold medals, that’s enough.”
“Not if it’s your career it isn’t, medals don’t make much money unless you sell them.”
“You can’t sell them! You put so much work into winning them. You probably just need a break, you’ve been working too hard.”
Daniel looked at her, it wasn’t fair to burden her with his problems, she had enough worries of her own at the moment. Besides, it was impossible to explain that he’d lost all interest in racing and his medals lay at home stuffed into a drawer. Sighing, he closed his eyes, soon he’d be joining Carly in finding alternative employment; he already had one written warning from his coach about his lack of effort.
“What’s the matter Daniel?” Ali said. “You look so depressed.”
He glanced down at her bump. “I’m fine, tired, it’s been a long season. Now, what names are you thinking about for that little one?”
As she talked, he stared up at the Christmas tree lights, remembering the anger in Carly’s eyes when he spoke to her. It seemed two years hadn’t been long enough for her to forgive him, after all.
• • •
Carly tapped a pen on the table, wishing she’d borrowed a loud hailer from the lifeboat station. Did all committee meetings end up in arguments? They’d agreed months ago to hold a Winter Gala, why was it all such a problem now? The noise from the sailing club bar didn’t help, it was nice of them to offer her the free use of the function room for fundraising meetings, but she might have to start looking for somewhere else.
A loud crash echoed through the door, followed by cheering — the second tray of glasses smashed tonight, she suspected. Sighing, she checked her watch, it had been a long day in the shop with people buying last-minute Christmas gifts. Would she get any presents this year? It would be depressing not to have a single thing to open, too much like her childhood.
Perhaps she should try again to meet someone, but since Daniel, there’d been no one she wanted. And what about him? Back for Christmas, but without his fiancée by the look of it. Were they having a last celebration with their own families before they set up home together? She shook her head slightly, it wasn’t an image she wanted to picture. Rapping her knuckles hard on the table, she cleared her throat.
“Are we all sorted then?” she said.
“There’s too much to arrange, we haven’t enough time,” Jessie said, holding her hands palm upwards.
“We hold a Summer Gala every year, it’s not that difficult to change the ice-cream kiosks into hot chestnut sellers and lemonade stalls to hot chocolate. And there isn’t much left to organise, the sailing boats have all got sponsorship f
rom local businesses, the correct authorities have been informed, we’ve got a website set up and posters printed. It’s too late to back out now, we’d be laughed at.”
“People are going to laugh anyway,” Duncan said. “We’ll be lucky to cover our costs.”
Carly tightened her jaw. “I’ve worked out the money, we’ll make a profit. And it’s not a few boats whizzing around the harbour, it’s an organised sailing race with some big name participants.”
“Is Daniel Edwards taking part? He’s a local lad?” Jessie said.
“Not to my knowledge,” Carly said.
“Why? Wasn’t he asked?” Duncan said, smiling.
Without the grin, she would have assumed it an innocent question, but he knew. Of course he knew, they all did.
“Well,” she said, banging her papers down on the table. “Why doesn’t someone ask him?”
“He’s back,” Jessie said. “I’ve seen him.”
“Then it’ll be easy for you to find him. Now what else do we have to discuss?”
“Do we have to include the local schools? It’s getting difficult to organise,” Ian said. “The teachers are all busy with Christmas plays.”
“We don’t have to if they’re not interested. We’ve got the junior sailing team race and a Santa’s Grotto, that should be enough for the little ones. If the schools don’t want to join in, then we’ll leave it.”
It would have been nice to include the children more, but Ian had done his best. It was just certain members, two in particular, who liked to make her life difficult. Jessie had never forgiven her for being voted in as Chairperson and Duncan, well, she didn’t know what his problem was, but he’d been against her from the start.
“We could still do the annual school trip to the lifeboat station in spring,” Ian said. “Get the kids involved then.”
She nodded. “We should, it’s important the next generation understand how vital the lifeboat station is here.”
“Is it that vital?” Duncan said. “Padstow isn’t far away. I still think we could summon a fast lifeboat from there, rather than buying and maintaining a craft ourselves. Haven Bay isn’t that big.”
Carly inhaled sharply. How many times had they been through this?
“No,” she said. “Our town is famous for its water sports and attracts thousands of visitors in the summer. If we want holidaymakers to come, we have to make it safe for them and there’s also the fishing trawlers that go out every week to consider. Mick’s had to bring a fair few of their men back in the lifeboat. Go and talk to the other families who have people out on the boats, Duncan, see if they want a lifeboat station here. It’s easy for you to say it’s excessive, when you haven’t got anyone at risk.”
She snapped her file shut. “And I’m not discussing it any further, it’s been made clear by the police and the coast guard that we must have a lifeboat on standby here. We’ve got dangerous currents and the day-trippers don’t appreciate the danger, no matter how many signs we put up. The question isn’t whether we have a lifeboat station, it’s how we’re going to pay for it. Anyone who disagrees has no place on this committee.”
Mutterings rose from around the table, but she stared at them, unrepentant. Why volunteer for a fundraising committee, then disagree with what they were raising money for? She hadn’t gone into this lightly, she knew from personal experience how dangerous those cliffs were. Duncan seemed to believe a drowning person would flounder around on the surface for twenty minutes, leaving ample time to summon a boat or helicopter. But he’d never felt the powerful fingers of the icy winter current swirling around his body, dragging him down.
With a fixed smile, she held up her minutes. “We need a volunteer to help with the children’s sailing race, shouldn’t be too strenuous. You’ll just need to watch from a dinghy to make sure they go around the markers properly.”
Everyone stared back in silence and she sighed. Now they were sulking because she got frustrated. Number one rule of running a committee, never, ever, lose your temper.
“Why don’t you do it yourself?” Duncan said.
“Me?” she frowned.
“Yes, you.” He looked around the group for support and her mouth dropped as a few heads nodded.
Swallowing she took a deep breath. “It involves standing in a dinghy, which you are well aware I can’t do.”
“But you could sit down. We’ll put some cushions on the seats to make it comfy for you.”
She wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of explaining why she couldn’t supervise the race, but her cheeks burned. A couple of people at the table, shuffled their feet and stared at their hands. They’d all seen her on sunny days watching the boats in the harbour, arms wrapped around herself.
Looking at Duncan, she opened her mouth to give a sharp retort, then a man stepped from the doorway leading to the bar and cleared his throat.
“I can cover the children’s race,” Daniel said.
Carly stared at him and the group seated at the table shoved their chairs back, open mouthed.
“That would be great,” Jessie squeaked.
Carly slapped her papers on the table. “Are you planning on still being here in three weeks?”
“I wouldn’t have offered otherwise,” he said.
She glared at the rest of the committee. “Does anyone object? No? That’s settled then, I’ll send you the details later, Daniel.” She swallowed. “Thank you.”
“Why don’t we have a drink in the bar while you fill me in?” he said.
“No, I don’t think so, I have to get home.”
How dare he embarrass her in front of everyone? Hadn’t she already made her feelings clear? Grabbing her papers, she stuffed them into her rucksack, fingers fumbling as he continued to watch her.
“Right, see you next week,” Ian said, standing up. “Come on everyone, let’s have a drink before we head home, it’s chilly out.”
Watching them leave, Carly snapped her bag shut and slung it over her shoulder. Since meeting Daniel again, she reacted to the slightest provocation. Was it frustration over seeing him so fit, strong and successful?
“You didn’t have to volunteer,” she said, looking at him.
“I want to help.”
“Until you vanish off again to your glamorous life?”
“You know sailing, Carly, it’s not that glamorous, getting up at five for training, rope burns, soaking wet.”
“I wouldn’t know about that, would I? Not anymore.”
“So it’s not the fundraising that’s really concerning you? I had a feeling it wasn’t.”
“What else do you expect? How would you feel in my position? I don’t want you here, reminding me of what I lost, just leave me alone and go back to your fiancée.”
“I’m allowed to come and see my family, you don’t own this town. You hate me still, I get it. I’m sorry for what happened, terribly sorry, but there’s nothing I can do to change it.” He stepped in front of her, forcing her to look at him. “I want to help raise the funds for a new lifeboat because without the last one you’d be dead and I couldn’t have coped with losing you, you were the centre of my world. So if I offer to help with the gala, don’t attack me for it, just accept it for what it is: me trying to make some small amends for what happened.”
Breathing deep, she closed her eyes. Was it better that he raised the topic? She didn’t know, but his skin looked pale and his eyes were flecked with red. He wasn’t the carefree Daniel she remembered.
“Thanks for your help,” she repeated. “I do appreciate it and so will the lifeboat station.” She was tempted to ask where his fiancée was, but it would make her sound desperate.
“I didn’t expect you to be doing things like this,” he said. “You never used to be interested in charity stuff.”
“I was a professional sportswoman then. I’ve got more spare time now and it gives me something to work toward.”
“Perhaps it’s not so unusual then, you always did like a challenge.”
“Is there any reason for your visit, or are we just going to reminisce over old times?”
He drew his head back. “Is this how it’s always going to be between us?”
“I expect so, I can’t imagine us being friends again.”
“It does look that way, which is a shame, because you were my best friend for years.”
“That was before you destroyed my life.”
He winced and she closed her eyes; that had been a cruel thing to say. But he brought out the worst in her, the angry, frustrated side she spent so long trying to control.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
“It’s true though, isn’t it? We both know that.”
His eyes were dark grey, narrowed, and his jaw set. Once, they’d been best friends, lovers; she didn’t want to hurt him, she just wanted him out of her life, he was disturbing her in a way she didn’t like.
“Daniel … ” she said, then the door opened again and her friend Linda stepped in. Glancing at them both, her mouth fell open and she moved back.
“Sorry, I’ll wait in the bar,” she said.
“Meeting up for a drink?” he said, looking at Carly.
“Yes, we are.” She gazed at him, without flinching and he stalked out the room, slamming the door behind him.
Linda jerked as it crashed, then came around to the head of the table.
“Was that Daniel?” she said. “I didn’t know he was back. He looks good, doesn’t he? Mind you, he always did.” Her smile faltered. “That was the wrong thing to say, sorry. It threw me, seeing him here. It’s been years.”
“Two,” Carly said. Daniel hadn’t looked good to her, he looked exhausted and stressed, but she knew him better then Linda. “Hopefully he’ll return home soon.”