by Oliver, Lucy
“Be careful,” Linda said. “He has the means to hurt you terribly, it’s taken you a long time to get to this point, where I see you laughing and smiling. Don’t let him take it away from you again. If you can work it out, then great. You’re perfect together, but what will you do if it doesn’t?”
“That’s why I’m not getting involved with him.”
“And last night?”
“He walked me home.”
“It’s common knowledge he stayed the night with you. I had to share a taxi home with Ali. He left her at the sailing club, nine months pregnant.”
“Oh no.” She clapped a hand to her mouth. “I’d better apologise to her. Is she all right?”
“It’s her brother who needs to apologise; don’t worry, she’s fine, looked quite amused actually, but it’s out of character for Daniel. Either he’s changed completely in the time he’s been away, or got so caught up in thinking about you, he forgot her.”
Carly slammed the till shut and took her keys from the shelf.
“I’ve got to run now, thanks for looking after the place. When your mum drops Jack off, he can have couple of the chocolate mice from the window display, I promised them to him.”
“You’ll be lucky if that’s all he goes home with.” Linda smiled. “Have a good day, and I hope you get it sorted out with Daniel. You were good together.”
“Thanks.” Carly pulled her coat on, grabbed her cane and went out the door.
A truck waited opposite, attached to a large trailer holding a boat, covered by a blue tarpaulin. Resting on her stick, she stepped cautiously over the icy road; Daniel would have to drive carefully. The driver’s door opened and he climbed out. Without looking at her, he went around to the passenger door and held it open, a waft of hot air from inside the car warming her chilled cheeks. The radio played softly, put on to cover any awkward silences, she suspected, and a silver flask stood in the passenger foot well.
“You assumed I would come?” she said, putting her cane in and frowning at the height of the seat. This was going to be tricky.
“Let me lift you,” Daniel said. He put his hands around her waist, unnecessarily, she thought, and assisted her into the car. Slamming the door behind her, he went around the bonnet, snowflakes drifting onto his shirt. Climbing into the driving seat, he started the engine and put it in gear with a hard yank. Carly sat still, staring out the windscreen at the early morning sunrise, glowing yellow over the choppy harbour waters. Her stomach rumbled and she flushed; nervous at being alone with him, she hadn’t eaten breakfast that morning. What did he have to say to her? Tired, she leant back against the seat and sighed.
“Boring you with my constant conversation?” he said.
She jumped, glancing at him. The corners of his mouth had turned up in a slight smile and she relaxed. They would talk later, he looked as much in the mood for another confrontation as she was.
“I’ve brought croissants, warm from the bakery, they’re in the bag behind your seat,” he said.
Twisting around, she took two out, holding one toward him. Signalling, he drew the car to a halt on the side of the road and took the pastry, his fingers brushing hers, sending a rush of heat through her body as she remembered the previous night. He shifted on his seat and she wondered if he too was thinking about it.
The pastry was buttery and flaky on her lips, crumbs dropping onto her jeans, and brushing them off, she raised her head to see him watching her. Wrenching his gaze away, he ate his own croissant, staring through the front window; he was still angry about yesterday. What else did he expect, though? That they would sleep together once and all their problems would melt away? It didn’t work like that.
Wiping his fingers, Daniel switched the engine back on and released the handbrake. Carly turned away from his set profile, staring out the window at the snowy fields, gleaming crisp and white beneath a bright blue sky. It seemed such a shame that they couldn’t talk the way they used to, but stared instead directly ahead, as if they feared catching either other’s eye. It was tempting to raise the topic of the night they shared again, just to get a reaction out of him, but she’d wounded him enough already and his pride didn’t really need another rejection. She swallowed a hard lump in her throat; she wouldn’t cry in front of him. Glancing back, the dinghy bounced behind them, mast lowered and sticking out from the blue cover.
“Did you tell Shane about the damage?” she said.
He glanced at her sharply, then in the rear view mirror. “Yes, I have to drop it in at the builders first, then go on to meet him. He’s waiting for us in the Padstow sailing club.”
“Was he all right about it?”
“Hard to tell over the swearing.” He smiled. “He’s not best pleased with me.”
“What will happen?”
“Without the gold medals, I’d have been thrown out the team, but I think the sponsors will forgive me.” He changed gear and looked at her. “Do I sound arrogant?”
“Just truthful, results are everything. You’re only out if you can’t perform, I know that.”
“Who told you?” He stared straight ahead.
“Shane, to give him his due. He came to my bedsit, the one the council gave me, and explained that they would have to cancel my bursary and training, I think he cried more than I did. I knew it was going to happen, but that didn’t take away the sting, to go from rising star to unwanted burden.” She dropped her head, remembering the humiliation.
“Do you mind seeing him now?”
She hesitated. “I might wait in the car. I have seen him since though, he sent me the college brochure and said if I didn’t choose a course, he’d enroll me on knitting for beginners.”
Daniel laughed. “Sounds like him.”
“He was right, I felt so much better when I had something to do.”
He nodded, flicking the indicator to turn into the boat builder’s workshop. “Stay in the warm, I’ll unhook the trailer and leave it in the main shed.”
He slammed the car door behind him and she turned to watch him out the back window as, wearing only a thin shirt, he spoke to two men, before leaning over the back of the car. The vehicle shuddered as they removed the trailer and she watched him walking alongside it, one hand on the gunwale, as the two builders wheeled it away.
“Aren’t you cold?” she said, when he climbed back in.
“You’ve gone soft.” He smiled, starting the car, then glanced at her quickly, his eyes filled with meaning. “I like you that way though.”
“Is that a roundabout way of saying my bottom’s bigger?”
“Seemed pretty good to me.”
She smiled. It was relief to acknowledge the previous night without an argument. He drove into the sailing club car park and backed into a parking space.
“Sure you don’t want to come in?” he said.
“I’m not going to defend you, you’re on your own, Daniel Edwards.”
“All right, keep the heater on and help yourself to coffee.” He jumped out and she watched him stride to the converted pub that housed the sailing club. In summer, ivy grew over the thick grey walls, but in December just a few strands, blackened by frost, waved over the arched doorway. A smell of hot pies and chips flooded out the door and yellow lights shone from the windows. If Shane hadn’t been there she’d have gone in, but she knew what he would ask her, and it wasn’t something she was ready for yet.
CHAPTER SIX
Pushing open the door, Daniel headed for the small bar area. Hopefully it would be deserted so early in the day. There was a limit to the number of spectators he wanted; Shane could be very cutting. Thankfully, Carly had elected to stay in the car, although in their years of training together, she had seen him in trouble so many times that she wouldn’t pay much attention.
“Daniel,” a voice said.
He looked around. Shane sat on a red shiny chair by the gas fire, paper chains swinging above him in the heat and tea mugs piled on the table in front of him. Daniel cursed, his coach looked settled in for the morning and he wasn’t in the mood for a long lecture on his irresponsible behaviour.
“I’ve left the dinghy at our boat builders,” he said.
“You’re damn lucky to be alive,” Shane said. “Have you gone mad? Sailing in that storm?”
Daniel shrugged wearily, past caring. He just wanted to be back in Haven Bay with Carly; the cost of his success had been too high.
“What is going on, lad?” Shane said. “Winning gold is supposed to be the height of your career, not the end of it.”
“I’m all right.”
“No, you’re not. Now sit down.”
Daniel lowered himself into a chair as the bartender brought over a mug of hot tea, which he gulped, wincing as it burnt his throat.
“I don’t enjoy racing anymore,” he said. “I hate being followed by photographers and I’ve lost all desire to compete. Once you’ve won the Olympics, what do you do next? If that doesn’t make you happy, then what will?”
“Asking the wrong woman to marry you probably won’t help.”
“So it’s common knowledge now? Has the breakup between me and Imogen reached the papers?”
“Not yet. I suggest a small press release at Christmas, she’s a very public figure and you need to protect her. I know it didn’t work out between you, but she’s a nice girl who didn’t deserve what you did to her.”
“What did I do?”
“You asked her to marry you, knowing you were in love with someone else.”
Daniel caught his breath. Had it been that obvious?
“Who else would that be?” he said.
“Never think I’m a fool, Daniel. Even after you got engaged, you still jumped if someone said Carly’s name. I knew it would never work out with Imogen; you were a glamorous couple, but there were no true feelings there.” Shane stared at him, lips tight. “You changed the day you lost Carly, became harder, colder. There were issues the two of you needed to deal with, but she was furious and you blamed yourself. There was no meeting in the middle and you’re both so stubborn that neither of you were prepared to back down.”
“She made her feelings clear.”
“No, she didn’t. I saw her during her time in hospital, she was devastated, not far off suicidal. Sailing was her life, the Olympics her dream, and you expected her to step back and watch you win from the sidelines, when she ought to have been out there too. You could never have done that, so why did you think she could?”
Daniel swallowed another mouthful of tea. “Maybe I didn’t handle it very well.”
“No, you didn’t, mostly because you felt guilty and partly because you believed your career was more important.”
“What?” He slammed the mug down.
“You did, Daniel.” Shane’s voice was level. “She was better then you, but when it all went horribly wrong, you thought she’d settle down, marry you and have children. Because she’s a girl, who couldn’t possibly have the same drive and ambition that you have, it’d be understandable for you to be angry if you lost your professional career, but not her.”
“I don’t have to listen to this crap.”
“I think you do, actually, if you’re going to have any chance of getting her back. You keep saying that she broke it off with you, which she did, but you didn’t put up much of a fight. There was no reason for you to leave Haven Bay, other than the fact you couldn’t bear to see how broken she was.”
“I know it’s my fault, I’ve always known that.”
“But there’s a difference between accepting it and facing up to it, you took the blame, you never shied from that and I admire you for it, but you didn’t try to mend your mistake. She was left to do that alone.”
Daniel gripped his mug, knuckles showing white. It wasn’t nice hearing what his coach had to say, but to his shame, he suspected that some of it could be true, in which case it was no surprise that Carly reacted as she did. Turning his head, he stared at the snow gathering on the outside windowsill; it would be getting cold in the car.
“I have to go, she’s waiting for me. Let me know what you decide to do about the team.” He stood up.
“You’re off the team.”
“What?” he said, his mouth dropping open. “Off?”
“Yes, you’re not in a good place at the moment and it’s affecting your ability. The same rules apply to everyone; just because you won gold doesn’t mean you can flunk the Nationals.”
“You can’t do this to me, Shane, what else will I do?”
“Sort your life out, like Carly has.”
“So that’s what this is about?”
“No, it’s purely on your lack of ability at the moment. I’m afraid you’re distracted and too sure of yourself.” Shane put his cup down and rose from his chair. “After the accident I tried to persuade Carly to join the Paralympics, but she’s now terrified of water. If you get her sailing again, I’ll reconsider your situation.”
“This is blackmail. I’m not forcing her to do something that scares her to get back on the team.”
“Until she gets back into a boat, she’s never going to recover, and until she does, you won’t. You belong together, but there’s too much anger and resentment on both sides, I don’t expect her to join the Paralympics, but I’ve seen her sitting by the harbour watching the boats, a tissue scrunched in her hand. She misses it terribly, but is too scared to get back into a dinghy. You didn’t help her before, so help her now. Get Carly sailing again.”
Taking a coat from the back of his chair, Shane strode out, leaving Daniel in the empty bar. Closing his eyes, he clenched his fists tight; never had he expected to be off the team. And how would he explain to Carly that in order to help him, she needed to get back into a boat?
• • •
Carly could tell something had happened the moment Daniel strode out of the sailing club, face pale and set. He hadn’t been thrown out, had he? Surely not. Taking the boat didn’t warrant that level of punishment. Wrenching open the door, he climbed into the car and started the engine without looking at her.
“Are you all right?” she said.
“Fine.” He shot out of the parking space and toward the exit.
“Watch your driving, I don’t need any more injuries.”
Instantly, he slowed, turning right onto the coastal road and looking at the clock. “I thought we’d stop for lunch, have a chat,” he said.
She nodded, frowning as she looked at the tight grip of his hands on the steering wheel. Hopefully he wasn’t out, that would be terrible. It had been hard enough for her to sort out a different life and she wasn’t famous like Daniel. He left school with a few more qualifications than she had, but not enough for a new career, and the newspapers would love photos of him serving in shops or ice-cream kiosks.
Daniel parked the car outside a pub and came around to open her door, but instead of lifting her out, he reached for her hands and held them tight.
“I’m sorry, Carly, for what happened and for letting you down. I shouldn’t have joined the team at Portsmouth, I ought to have stayed with you.”
“You would have, if I hadn’t been so horrible.”
“You had reason to be like that. I would have been worse. Rather than march off in fury, I should have tried to understand.”
“What did Shane say?”
Sliding his arms down, he gripped her waist and helped her out the seat, holding her against him then sliding his hand around the back of her head and leaning down, he kissed her hard. Stunned, her arms went around his neck, mouth pressed to his, losing herself in his embrace.
A car horn hooted, reminding her o
f where they were, and she pulled back.
“What happened with Shane to trigger that?” she said.
He looked at her trembling hands, then the snow drifting around them and reaching into the car, he grabbed her stick.
“We’ll talk inside,” he said. “You’re frozen.”
Taking her arm, he helped her across to the black timbered building, staring straight ahead so she could see only his grim profile. What had happened today?
Holding open the door, he led her into the bar, then through a passage to a lounge with tables, menus, and a fire of glowing logs. Carly perched on the edge of a plush velvet sofa, jumping when he threw himself down beside her, reaching out to twist her bright red hair in his fingertips.
“I’m off the team,” he said.
“What? Why? Because of the boat?”
“No, that was just an excuse. I’ve not been performing at my best recently. Not since the Olympics.”
“Well, it must have taken a lot out of you.” She gazed at him, brow creased, trying to work out what he was telling her. It went deeper than being thrown out the squad.
“I wasn’t exhausted, I’d lost the drive, the desire to win. It just didn’t matter.”
She nodded, understanding perfectly that winning at this level was more than pure physical strength. “Was it because Imogen left you?” she said.
“No, it was never about her. I won the golds for you, because it had been our dream, but when I stood on the podium I realised you weren’t there, that you never would be. There was no point any longer in fooling myself that you might turn up to one of the races to see me. If you didn’t come for the Olympics, you would never come at all.”
“I didn’t think about it, we’d split up. I watched it on the TV.”
“It was a foolish thought, as was getting engaged, a waste of both mine and Imogen’s time.”
She sighed, staring at the table in front of her, at the menu of meals she had no appetite for. “Would you like me to come to the next race?” she offered.
His lip curled up. “There isn’t going to be one at the moment, and I wouldn’t ask you to do that.” He cleared his throat. “Shane wants me to get you sailing again.”