“Thank you. So do you.” The girl wore a fancy blue dress that brought out that same color in her eyes.
“Daddy says you’re going to become my mommy today.”
Caroline laughed. “He’s right. I am. I can’t wait.”
Maggie grinned in relief. “Me neither. I’ve prayed and prayed and prayed. I might have doubted a little bit, but deep down I knew God would give me what I asked for.”
Oh, for faith such as that. Caroline wished she had that same measure of trust that this would all work out for her. Before she could find a response, Ida finished introducing herself and Edmund to Lawrence, then gave Caroline a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. “You are beautiful, my dear. I just brought Maggie by because she insisted she’d die if she didn’t see you.”
“I’m glad you did.” Caroline turned her smile to Edmund as he gave her a quick hug. David hadn’t wanted to pick between his brothers, so he hadn’t chosen a best man. Instead he’d asked them both to serve as groomsmen. “Hello, Edmund. How’s David doing? Is he nervous?”
“He seems pretty calm to me.”
“That’s good.” Wasn’t it? Probably. Still, part of her had hoped he was suffering as much as she was. After all, getting married only four days after the engagement had been his idea, not hers.
Maggie tapped Caroline’s leg to get her attention. “Uncle Edmund is going to carry me down the aisle so that I can throw the flowers.”
“What a smart idea.”
“Maggie, Edmund, you’d better take your places. Caroline and Lawrence, someone will knock on the door from the inside to let you know when to enter.” Ida gestured to two other children who’d appeared seemingly out of nowhere at the bottom of the stairs. One boy and a girl slightly older than him smiled shyly at her. Ida introduced them as Gil and Jo Satler. They were the orphans whom David hoped to help with the creation of the children’s home. “They generously offered to hold the doors open during the ceremony. Now, I’d better take my seat. They’ll be starting as soon as I do.”
Finding herself alone with her father and the Satler siblings, Caroline chose to engage the children in conversation. Gil seemed the only one willing to talk. However, she hardly knew what she was saying. All she could focus on was the church door. Finally, the knock came. The Satlers opened the doors. Caroline stepped inside the church on her father’s arm. The guests all oohed and aahed at the sight of her. She did her best to smile at them through the veil.
Emma and Annie waited at the front in mismatched dresses with bouquets of flowers that had sprung up after the rain had cleared out. On the other side of Pastor Brandon, Edmund and Josiah stood beside the man waiting for her at the altar. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of her groom. He was devastatingly handsome in his formal suit.
And he was all hers. Only hers. A smile blossomed on her lips, and she couldn’t have stopped it if she’d tried. Their eyes locked. The intensity of his gaze spoke of so many things. Promise, certainty, joy and love. Love. Oh, why hadn’t he said the word?
He would be required to before the ceremony was over. Of course, he didn’t have to mean it or necessarily feel it. People got married every day for many reasons—not all of them were love. But why else would David marry her?
Maggie poked her head into the aisle. Caroline couldn’t look away from the pure rapture on her soon-to-be daughter’s face. What had Maggie said earlier? Daddy says you’re going to become my mommy today. But that was a plain fact. It didn’t mean that was why David wanted to marry her. It didn’t mean he had ulterior motives.
Her father removed her veil and kissed her cheek before placing her left hand in David’s. His hands were warm. His hold secure. She lifted her gaze to meet his and found herself drowning in his eyes. Oh, what did it matter if he said the words or if he meant them?
She loved him. She wanted him. Nothing else was important. Still, that niggling sensation in her gut told her that wasn’t true. She tried to ignore it, but a new refrain marched through her mind. Something isn’t right. Something isn’t right. Over and over. It drowned out the preacher’s words, yet it seemed to amplify everything else. The pounding of her own heart. The sound of Lula May’s fan stirring on the second row. A whisper from someone near the middle of the church. The soft clunk of the door opening and closing to admit a latecomer.
David squeezed her hand. She met his gaze again, unsure when hers had drifted away. She forced herself to focus on what Pastor Brandon was saying. Something about the sanctity of marriage. Then it was time for the vows. “David McKay—”
A little gasp sounded from the back of the church.
Pastor Brandon continued as though he hadn’t heard it. Caroline might have as well, if her eyes weren’t already focused on the lone woman standing at the back of the church. A shaft of sunlight illuminated the woman’s shifting expression. Confusion. Hurt. Disappointment.
Their eyes met. The woman’s widened with something akin to panic. Dread filled Caroline’s empty stomach. Something isn’t right.
* * *
Caroline was nervous. It was impossible not to notice that. She shook like a leaf. He wished she’d look at him. Instead, other than that first transcendent smile she’d bestowed on him, she’d focused on anything and everything but him and their marriage vows. This was not a good start. With everyone watching, there wasn’t much he could do about it.
He’d tried squeezing her hand. That had only helped for a moment. David glanced at Brandon. The preacher was watching Caroline, too, and looking slightly worried, though his voice remained as confident as ever. “David McKay, do you take this woman to—”
“Who are you?” Caroline demanded.
She was peering through narrowed eyes at the back of the church. A woman stood there. While everyone else twisted around to see whom Caroline was addressing, David looked back at Caroline. Her mouth was drawn into a line. Her body was as tense as a too-tight guitar string. He didn’t know whether to be exasperated, confused or concerned. What did it matter who the stranger was? They were in the middle of their wedding ceremony. He was about to speak his vows.
Before he could say any or all of that, the woman in question spoke. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
Lawrence stood. “Answer the question.”
David barely stopped himself from rolling his eyes. He understood why the Murrays would be jumpy after what had happened with Nico. But he wasn’t like Nico. He certainly didn’t have a wife just waiting to...
Oh.
Oh, no.
David turned to survey the woman. How had Elizabeth Dumont described herself? Auburn hair. Brown eyes. This woman had both. Still, it couldn’t be. He’d sent her a telegram breaking off their engagement. Yet it was her. She said as much with her next breath.
He closed his eyes as Caroline asked a question that might as well have been his death knell. “How do you know David?”
“I’m engaged to him.”
Chapter Eighteen
Gasps rent the silence that followed his former fiancée’s statement. Elizabeth’s panicked eyes widened even more. “Or I was. I mean, obviously there has been some kind of mistake.”
Caroline wrenched her hand from the grip he hadn’t realized he’d tightened. “Yes, there has.”
“Caroline, I can explain.” He reached for her again, trying to sound calm despite the panic racing through him.
“Don’t.” She flinched away from his touch, which stung more than any slap could. Without another word, she lifted her skirt in her good arm and rushed out the side door.
David stood in stunned silence. He was the only quiet one in the church. The loudest was Caroline’s father. Matthew held Lawrence back as the man threatened to tear David limb from limb. Maggie’s voice pierced through the fog. “Pa!”
He snapped to attention. “Wh
at?”
Her hands jerked outward until they landed palms up in a silent question. “Go get her!”
“Right.” He turned on his heel and ran out the side door. Caroline was nowhere to be seen, so he headed for the front of the church. Again, nothing.
Then he saw Jamie Coleman standing near the street holding what looked to be a box of supplies for the reception that might not happen if David didn’t find Caroline. Jamie caught sight of David and the befuddled look on his face cleared. “She borrowed Annie’s mare and headed east. Take my stallion.”
“Thank you!” David hopped into the saddle and set off after Caroline. He spotted her as soon as he left the town behind. She glanced back at him. He called out, “Caroline, wait!”
She urged the mare faster.
With a groan, he gave chase. The stallion’s hooves pounded on the packed dirt at a steady gallop. Knowing she wouldn’t hear him or heed him, he murmured half in warning, half in prayer, “Slow down. Slow down. You have a broken arm. Please, slow down.”
A disconcerting feeling of déjà vu clouded his mind as they flew down the road. He’d done this before. He’d chased after a woman he loved on horseback. The last time he’d arrived too late to stop her, too late to save her or even hold her in his arms as she’d breathed her last. Since then, he’d done everything he could to protect himself from once again experiencing the heartbreak that Laura’s unfaithfulness had inflicted up to that final moment.
Nothing had worked. He was still chasing after heartbreak. Only this time it was of his own causing. He was the one who’d inflicted the pain because he’d been too afraid and too prideful to tell the truth. No. It went deeper than that. He’d needed to feel in control. He’d assumed his judgment was best and had acted according.
Obviously, it wasn’t best. It was flawed. It needed guidance. And so he prayed. He prayed for forgiveness. He prayed for guidance. He prayed that God would give him another chance with Caroline or make it clear that he needed to let her go. By that time the stallion had caught up with her. David reached for the mare’s reins, but Caroline veered away to avoid his grasp. David followed her and spoke calmingly, “Whoa. Whoa. Slow down.”
She urged her horse faster. “Go away!”
“No.” He stuck with her. This time when he reached for the reins, he managed to catch them. He forced her horse to slow to a walk. “I don’t care how angry you are at me. I’m not going to let you break your neck by galloping on an unfamiliar horse while you’re nursing a broken arm.”
“Let go of my reins.” Her chin jerked upward. “I’m perfectly capable of riding one-handed.”
“That doesn’t mean you should.”
She refused to look at him. “Go back to your fiancée. I have nothing to say to you.”
“Maybe right now you don’t, but even if you hightail it back to Austin on the first train that comes through, you’re going to want answers from me eventually.” He watched her jaw clench. “You might as well hear them now.”
She stole a quick glance at him. He saw a hint of curiosity in her eyes, so when she tried to jerk the reins from his grasp, he tested her by letting them go. She turned her horse as though intending to head back to town. He followed, realizing only too late it was a mere feign. The mare surged back in its original direction, but the stallion was faster. He cut her off. “It might not be as bad as you think.”
She gave a laugh of disbelief that had an odd little hitch to it.
Their horses danced in and out of the shafts of sunlight as they circled each other like two fighters waiting to see who would try to land the first blow. The woods became little more than a blur of rich greens. She ducked her head, but it was too late.
He’d seen the truth. She wasn’t just angry. She was devastated. He’d done that to her. “Caroline, I’m so sorry that I hurt you.”
Her lashes fluttered as she tried to blink away her tears, but they were still there when she looked up at him. Despair stared back at him. And, surprisingly enough, a tortured sort of longing. He reined in his horse immediately. He took the chance of dismounting, then strode toward her with all the confidence he could muster to lift her down from the saddle. She stared at him through guarded eyes while her free arm cradled the broken one. He took her hand and laid it over his heart. “It’s still yours, Caroline.”
Her fingers curled into a fist. Fire sparked in her eyes before she closed them. “I don’t want it.”
“I don’t believe you.”
She stepped closer, her eyes narrowing. “You are awfully confident for a man with two fiancées. No. Make that one.”
He held on to her arm when she would have pulled away. “She isn’t my fiancée. Not anymore.”
“But she was. Until just how recently?”
“Elizabeth Dumont is a mail-order bride.”
Surprise filled her eyes. “Mail-order what? Why?”
“I contacted her out of desperation before you agreed to be the triplets’ nanny.” He relaxed his hold on her arm slightly. “Hiring you allowed me to consider less drastic measures than marriage. The children’s home, finding the triplets a permanent family to stay with—all of that eventually fell through. Meanwhile, Maggie had fallen in love with you. She desperately wanted a mother.”
Her brow furrowed at that, but he rushed on. “It seemed selfish of me not to provide one for her, especially after the night of the fire.”
She bit her lip and glanced away, but he could see that she was listening, considering, weighing his words for truth.
“When you told me there was no hope for us, I was devastated. I didn’t want to put myself in a position like that again.”
“But Maggie still needed a mother.”
He nodded. “That’s all Elizabeth was intended to be. We’d talked on having a marriage in name only. Nothing more. It seemed like the perfect solution at the time. I sent Elizabeth a telegram asking her to come. I rescinded that invitation the day you agreed to marry me. I don’t know why she’s here.”
She pulled in a trembling breath. “Why am I only hearing about this now?”
“I didn’t tell you because...” He searched his brain, then released her completely. “I’m sorry. I can’t think of a good enough reason. I should have told you from the first. I was afraid. I didn’t want to lose you. I didn’t want to think I was like your former fiancé—for all the good that did. I ended up looking just like him, and I’m losing you anyway.”
Caroline eyed him warily. “You could be making this entire explanation up.”
“Have you ever known me to be a liar?”
“No, but I wouldn’t if you were good at it.”
“I have proof. Elizabeth and I each wrote one letter to each other. You’re welcome to read them. They prove everything I’m saying, including the fact that there was no deeper attachment between the two of us.”
“And your attachment to me?” Her voice rang with a challenge. “Is it any deeper?”
He frowned. “You know it is.”
“Why did you ask me to marry you?” Another challenge.
“Why did I...?” He rubbed the nape of his neck. “Because I didn’t want you to leave.”
Her voice was harder, more demanding. “Why?”
“Because I love you.” Once those words were out, it was impossible to stop the deluge that followed. “I can’t imagine going through the rest of my life without you. I barely made it through yesterday without wanting to tear my hair out.”
She smiled. It was a hesitant one, but a smile nonetheless. It spurred him on. “You’ve driven me crazy from the start. Didn’t you know that?”
She shook her head.
“From the first moment we met, I haven’t been able to get you out of my head. Every thought is full of you. I tried to stay away, but I couldn’t. I tried to give you
up, but I can’t. You’re everything to me. I only wish that I’d met you sooner. That I could know you more deeply. That you—”
“David, why didn’t you tell me?” Joy and wariness battled for dominance in her voice.
“I didn’t want to give my heart away until I knew for sure that you would stay. That you were mine.” He shrugged. “I was also being an idiot.”
She laughed just a little at that, which made him grin. “Caroline, the truth is you already had my heart. I’ve known it ever since you called me a horrible father.”
She groaned. “That can’t be the moment you fell in love with me.”
“I think it might be. And you? When did you fall in love with me?”
She replied hesitantly, but at least she didn’t deny loving him. “The first time we sang together, though I refused to accept it at the time.”
“Music.”
“Passion,” she mused softly, then bit her lip as though she’d spoken out of turn.
“I still want to marry you. I understand why you might not want that anymore. I understand if you’d rather not trust me again. I messed up. I’m sorry for that. I was making decisions out of fear when I should have allowed myself to be guided by love.” He took her hand in his again. “I promise that from here on out I’ll always be truthful with you. I promise I’ll stop holding back, but I’d like to do more than that. I’d like to prove it.”
He took a deep breath, then said exactly what he felt God was leading him to say. “I’m going back to the church. I’ll wait there until you make your decision one way or the other.”
Conviction told him he’d done the right thing and a peace followed that confirmed it. Whether or not that meant Caroline would show up at the church ready to marry him again wasn’t clear. However, he’d be ready if it did. Either way, he was determined to trust God with the future. Of course, that didn’t mean he wouldn’t give the Lord as much time as He needed to work on Caroline’s heart. Or that he wouldn’t be praying all the way to town.
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