by Jillian Hart
All right, that was enough. Jonah looked amused, but Debra decided to rescue him anyway. “Mia, I’m sure Jonah doesn’t want to be under fire. It’s Sunday. We’re supposed to be taking it easy, according to the Bible. It’s a day of rest, right?”
“So close, but so far away,” Mia sighed with a hint of drama, as if her burden were truly great. “I finally get you to mention the Bible, but you just don’t get it, Mom. I try and I try.”
“You ham.” Debra wrapped her arm around her daughter and drew her close into a hug. She gave her a kiss on the forehead. She dearly loved her little girl. “I miss you when you’re away at school.”
“Does this mean I don’t have to go back?”
“You know the answer to that.” She held onto her girl for a few moments longer. “Why don’t you give the question-and-answer session a rest? On the news shows they at least take a commercial break. Don’t you think Jonah deserves the same?”
“Ah, but, Mom, I’ve got so many question I can’t hold them all in.”
Debra had to admit she had a lot of questions, too. She spied Sandra coming with their loaded plates. Ah, a negotiating point. “If Jonah doesn’t mind, why don’t you say the blessing?”
“Okay, but I’ve still got questions.”
To his credit, Jonah looked not only amused, but caring. “Don’t worry about it, little lady.” He tugged at his tie to loosen it a notch. “If we’re all going to be friends, we might as well really get to know each other.”
“Exactly!” Mia clasped her hands together. “I especially want you and my mom to be friends. She’s such a hopeless case.”
Debra couldn’t help laughing, lighthearted, as Sandra set the delicious-looking meal in front of her.
The snowfall had begun to taper off while they were enjoying brunch. So by the time they walked out the door Jonah held open for them and onto the sidewalk, it was like being greeted by a picture from a child’s Christmas storybook.
Beauty was everywhere. Light, spun-sugar flakes sifted lazily from a white-gray sky. The fresh sheet of snow seemed to ice over the world’s imperfections, turning telephone wires and bare tree branches and even the soiled dredges of snow at the sides of the street a perfect wonderful white.
“You sighed,” Jonah pointed out as he joined her on the sidewalk.
“Did I?” Debra felt as if she hardly knew herself any longer. This trip was changing her. Discovering the truth was changing her. “This is a lovely town. It must be sweet to live here. No hustle and bustle, no horrible commuter traffic. There’s something in the air. Everything holds such promise.”
“It is a great place to live, but then again, I’m biased.” Jonah stuffed his hands in his coat pockets. “Chestnut Grove has its troubles like anyplace. Some crime. Desperate people. People who make bad choices. We’re lucky we have much smaller problems as a community, over all, than other cities.”
“I suppose I’m just being nostalgic for some kind of ideal life that no one has.” Debra didn’t know how to describe the tangle of want and longing in her heart. “I guess sometimes I wish I’d followed a different path. I see Mia—”
Where had Mia gone? Debra paused to check over her shoulder, but she shouldn’t have been surprised to see her little girl with her face tilted up to the heavens, letting the snow land on her face.
Debra cleared her throat. “Mia’s starting to wear me down. I used to be a lot like her at that age. Lately I’ve been wondering where that Debra went.”
“I can see her.”
His words cut deep, jarring her all the way to the bottom of her soul. It took all her effort to keep walking casually. This didn’t feel casual. That tiny light of affection for him within her brightened a notch, so sweet and adoring she knew it had to show.
Thank the heavens for the snow that was a veil between them. Maybe he wouldn’t notice.
Jonah held out his hand, palm up. “Your keys?”
Without thinking, she handed them over. Snowflakes tinkled and tapped as Jonah crunched to her SUV, unlocked the door with the remote, started the engine and checked under the driver’s seat. He pulled out the long ice scraper. He flashed her a grin. “I knew it would be there. You’re an organized woman.”
She shouldn’t be surprised that he was clearing her windows and scraping at the sheen of ice that had melted onto the glass. “Your limp is worse when the weather is colder and damper.”
He kept his back turned, reaching to clean off the middle of the windshield. “I don’t let it bother me. I got lucky, considering.”
Voices broke in, cutting off her next question. A family tumbled out of the diner’s door, their conversations light and happy. Debra bit her bottom lip, holding back the question, but the words bubbled inside her. He’d been a marine. She’d been wondering if he’d been injured on active duty. Now she knew, without words, that he had.
She’d read enough and watched news enough to understand what that meant. He’d been hurt over there, and, in reconsideration of his comment, she understood that he meant others hadn’t been so lucky. He’d seen others die.
Poor Jonah. All her own worries faded, except for one—her all-out concern for this good man.
Jonah didn’t look up as he swept the dregs of snow and ice from the windshield. “You two lovely ladies go on, get in where it’s warm.”
“It doesn’t feel right to leave you out here in the cold.”
“I don’t mind.” The flecks in his eyes warmed like liquid gold and he stopped what he was doing to hold the door open for her.
Debra felt cozy from his thoughtfulness, then the diner’s front door smacked open, startling her. For a moment, she almost forget they weren’t alone. There was that Matthews fellow again. He didn’t look too happy as he checked the screen on his cell phone and dialed furiously. What troubled Debra more was that her daughter was noticing the enraged looking man. His obscene curse echoed in the parking lot.
Shocked by the celebrity’s behavior, Debra held out her hand to Mia’s shoulder. “Hurry up. In the car, kid.”
“What’s wrong with him, Mom?”
“I don’t know, but there’s no excuse for that.” Debra steered her daughter to the safety of the SUV, keeping an eye on Douglas Matthews.
He appeared very agitated and his perfectly polished appearance had started to frazzle. His dark hair was mussed and his face twisted in anger as he snapped off his phone and stared at it. She got Mia’s door closed just in time. Another curse echoed across the parking lot.
Jonah had straightened. “Matthews. This is a family establishment.”
The man answered with an even worse curse, yanked open the door to his luxury vehicle and threw the phone in a temper into the passenger compartment. Debra saw the fury on Jonah’s face—he was being protective of her and Mia. But Douglas dove into his car in a hurry, shut the door and started the engine with a loud roar before Jonah could do anything.
“I’m sorry you had to hear that.” A muscle tensed in his jaw. Next to a man like Douglas Matthews, Jonah Fraser looked like a dream. He opened her door for her. “Thanks for letting me tag along. I had a good time.”
“I did, too. We enjoyed your company. We should do it again. Ah, you should come tomorrow night. To dinner at Ben’s. I’m cooking for everyone.” The impulsive words tumbled out before she could stop them. Impulse was not usually her style. When Jonah grinned, she knew she’d done the right thing.
He shook the wetness off the scraper and deposited it neatly on the back floor mat. “I’ll think about it.”
Mia twisted against her seat belt to chime in, “Dinner’s at seven. I’m going to help with the cooking, so you gotta come. Promise?”
“I can’t say no to you, Miss Mia.”
“Yeah, I know. Why do you think I asked?”
“I’ll bring a pie.” He shut the back door with a click. “Do you two have any suggestions? Chocolate? Banana?”
“My mom’s favorite is lemon meringue.”
Wha
t were the chances? His, too. “Lemon it is. I’ll see you tomorrow for dinner.”
“Awesome.” Mia made a punch in the air and dropped back into her seat.
Debra’s window whizzed down, revealing her flushed face, sparkling eyes and dazzling smile. “Now the pressure’s on. I’ll try not to burn anything.”
“If you do, I won’t notice. Deal?”
“Deal.” She put the SUV in gear. “Thanks, Jonah. I’m looking forward to it.”
He waited while the SUV eased out of its spot, remembering what Mia had said earlier. You helped my mom. She was so much happier when she came to pick me up. Maybe you could talk to her some more. Debra did look better, lighter somehow, as if she’d laid some of the pain of the past to rest.
I wish I could, Jonah thought longingly as he spotted Mia waving at him enthusiastically through the window. Mia was special. Too bad he liked her mother so much. Debra was…perfect. Exactly the kind of woman he’d always used to pray he would find.
But that was before Iraq. Reality hit him low and hard like a snowplow. Jonah hung his head, overwhelmed by shame. Like the frigid winter wind, guilt froze him to the marrow.
When he looked up, the taillights of Debra’s SUV were small points of red on Main Street and then gone. He stared into the pure falling snow and felt ashamed. There were things he’d done, things he was responsible for, that he could never forget or make up for.
He wished he could. He wished forgiveness were possible. Thinking of those he’d failed, he didn’t know how God could ever forgive him. One thing was sure, he could not forgive himself. He didn’t deserve to love a wonderful woman like Debra or to be responsible for anyone again.
Weighed down by a ton of regret, Jonah dug his keys from his pocket and unlocked his truck. Sunday may be a day of rest, but he couldn’t stand all this thinking and feeling. He had the foot and sideboards of Mia’s bed to finish. Yes, that’s what he’d do. He’d work the afternoon and evening through to keep his hands and mind busy. Work always helped to keep the memories at bay.
Douglas Matthews drove through the expensive development at the edge of town, his heartbeat racing and his anger rising. He couldn’t reach her. Again. Lynda better have a good excuse for not answering the phone. She was supposed to spend her time seeing to his needs and keeping things running smoothly so he could put every ounce of his energy and talent into furthering his career. Why couldn’t she see that? Because of her, he’d been too upset for his meeting. She was the reason his agent hadn’t shown.
He’d had to sit in that tacky diner alone. At least he had the chance to see Ross Van Zandt in action. Acting like the good Christian family man, when the truth was he’d made a threat he couldn’t keep.
That shabby P.I. couldn’t find his way out of a cardboard box and he certainly wasn’t good enough to outsmart Douglas Matthews. Ross Van Zandt had no evidence—and never would. Douglas would make certain of that. He’d sent one message—and it seemed to have worked. Ross had made threats—but it was hot air. Douglas had no problem sending another message, if that became necessary.
Smugly satisfied, he slowed down to take the turn into his driveway, bringing his property into sight. A fresh layer of snow glazed the lawns and along the impressive roofline of his house, so it was hard to tell at first what was missing.
The minivan.
A terrible foreboding turned cold in his gut. What was going on? Douglas stopped the car and launched out of the seat. It was no illusion. He stared in disbelief at the empty space where Lynda’s minivan was supposed to be. Where had she gone? She was supposed to be home putting herself together. She had a lot to make up for lately. She was always setting off his temper.
Now this. What was he going to have to do to make her understand?
His cell phone went off. He slammed the garage door and dug the phone out of his pocket. It had to be Lynda. Horrible fury momentarily blinded him as he hit the answer button. Whatever she was out doing, he was going to make sure she learned her lesson. She just didn’t learn. “Lynda?”
“No, Doug.” It was Rob, his agent. “I’m returning all five of your voice messages.”
Rob sounded a little too superior. Douglas gnashed his teeth but got his temper under control. There was a lot at stake. “You stood me up at the diner. I was…concerned.”
Furious. Insulted. Ready to go shopping for a better agent. A top agent. One who had enough guts to close the network deal.
Rob cleared his throat. “The weather held me up, but after your last few messages, I’m concerned about you. You need to behave more professionally, Douglas. This is the reason we’re having trouble taking you national.”
That was rich. Red flashed before his eyes. “The reason I’m not hosting my own national show right now is because you’re not aggressive enough.”
“I’m not the one who was caught womanizing—”
“I told you that was nothing!”
“The threats you’ve made to my secretary.”
“She wouldn’t put my calls through!”
“The messages you’ve left today could be taken as threatening. If I didn’t know you better, Douglas, I would have to advise you to find other representation.”
The red staining his vision turned crimson. Rage vibrated through him like a taut bow. “It’s not my fault. I’m under a lot of stress. If you could get this deal closed, I would be better.”
“Let’s take it a day at a time. I’ll call you in a few days. And, Douglas, maybe you ought to talk to someone. Like your pastor.”
Before Douglas could set him straight, the connection went dead. Who did this joker think he was dealing with? He was Douglas Matthews. And where was Lynda? This was her fault. She had best get back soon, or—
He’d yanked open the front door and his hard, uneven breathing echoed in the silent house. His footsteps echoed long and deep, bouncing off the cathedral ceilings and imported marble. He noted the housework hadn’t been done. The kitchen dishes were still in the sink.
Then he spotted the jewelry on the counter—her everyday jewelry. The diamond studded watch he insisted she wear was tossed on the counter next to her wedding ring.
Her wedding ring.
He didn’t need to tear through the house to figure out she’d left him. She’d probably packed a few things—things he’d bought her and the boy—and left him. She’d taken their son.
What was this going to do to his image? A curse tore from his throat. Blind with rage, he grabbed the first thing he came to—the stool at the breakfast bar—and threw it as hard as he could. It crashed through the window with a satisfying smash.
In the cozy warmth of their adjoining rooms, Mia knelt beside her bed, her hands clasped as she said her bedtime prayers while Debra waited in the doorway, leaning against it, struck by how thankful she was for her daughter. They’d been apart since September because of school, except for a few weekends and holidays at home, and that time was lost. Debra suddenly felt it sorely. Mia was changing, growing up a little more day by day, and so fast.
As she knelt, fervently praying, she looked a little taller, her face a little leaner and more mature. Mia whispered, “Amen,” and hopped into bed.
Holding back her feelings, Debra stepped into the room. “You were praying pretty earnestly.”
“That’s how you’re supposed to pray, Mom.”
“I know.” Knowing where this was about to lead, Debra slid onto the edge of the mattress and tucked the covers beneath Mia’s chin. She might not feel as cynical about faith right now, but that didn’t mean she felt ready to discuss it. “You want to do some more of our Christmas shopping tomorrow?”
“We’d better. Can we park downtown and wander through all the shops? I’ve been dying to do that.” Mia propped herself up on one elbow to plump her pillow right before collapsing back onto it. Dark circles had worked their way beneath her eyes and her lids were drooping, but she was still buzzing with excitement from the evening. “Didn’t we have the best d
ay?”
“The best. Because I got to spend it with you.” Debra brushed the hair out of Mia’s face. “You were right. It’s good thing that we came here to get to know our new family.”
“What? I can’t believe you said that.”
“I’m cautious when it comes to making changes—”
“I’ll saaaay.” Mia stifled a yawn. “So, does that mean we can stay for Christmas?”
“Your grandfather is expecting us for Christmas dinner.”
“Yeah, but that’s at dinnertime on Christmas Day. We could have Christmas morning here and then drive back home and still be there in time. Please?”
“We’ll see about staying until Christmas Eve, at least.” Debra loved seeing her child so happy.
“Good, because there’s so much I have to do. I want to see the Christmas Eve services at the church. Jonah’s father is the minister, you know, so we can go with Jonah, too.”
“You’re just full of plans, aren’t you, sweetheart?”
“Yep. I’m praying hard so they’ll come true. I just want a real family, Mom.”
“I know you do.” How could she fault her daughter for that? It was like a blessing to have this gift of Ben and his family to add to the Watson clan. She could no longer argue that truth.
Mia struggled against an even bigger yawn. “Olivia’s lucky. It would be great to have a dad and a little brother. No, I’d want a sister. A little sister who’s just like me.”
“Which would make her perfect.” Debra didn’t know what else to say. That’s all she had wanted, too, but it had never happened for her—love, marriage, the whole family thing. This wasn’t the way she’d imagined her life to be long ago.
She wished she could see such a happy and lovely future as easily as Mia could. There was so much she wanted for her daughter. So much her own heart ached for. Sweet love for her daughter left her weak, as always, but strengthened her, too.
Debra smoothed away the wrinkles that had settled into Mia’s forehead. “Sleep well, sweet pea. You have another big day tomorrow.”