by Layne, Lyssa
“Are you kidding me? I just paid for a hundred drinks. We are getting married! No take backs, no bailing.” I reached up to grasp her hand and unfold her arms in the process. “I knew what I was doing when I volunteered to marry you. I’m not changing my mind, so don’t you. You need this, Joss. Let me do it for you.”
She sucked in a deep breath of air, trying to ward off her emotions. It was pointless. “Everything is such a mess. Honestly, I don’t even know if this will make a difference.”
Automatically, I brought her to me and held her tight while she continued to cry.
“Well, we won’t know unless we try, right?”
“I guess.” She sniffed against my shoulder. “Thank you…just, thank you.” Her head turned up at me. Her big green eyes were flooded to the point of overflowing. Between the tears and the sheer depth of what lie beneath them, I knew in an instant I would fucking drown there if I ever let myself fall in.
CHAPTER SIX
Since there was a three day waiting period between getting the marriage license and being able to get married, we couldn’t follow through with Derek’s initial proposal to have a wedding the next day. We did however meet on the front steps of the court house to acquire our license first thing in the morning.
Given the high crazy factor in our endeavor, I opted not to give Aunt Deb any details and simply allowed her to remain innocent and ignorant, believing Derek and I were getting together for a simple breakfast which she repeatedly told me could turn into dinner, wink wink. Oh, there would be dinner alright.
By some miracle, Bobby never did show up at the bar during my little engagement fiasco the previous night, and pending any furious phone calls from him, my ‘fake marriage-real wedding’ plans were moving along without a hitch.
“You’re not nervous, are you?” Derek nudged me in the side with his elbow as we walked up the massive steps toward the building.
“About marrying a guy I barely know in hopes that I won’t lose custody of my son? Psh, not at all.” There was a delay between the words coming out of my mouth and my brain really registering what they were. When it hit me, I froze up mid-step. “Holy shit. What am I thinking? If anyone finds out this marriage is a sham I’ll be even more fucked than I am without a husband.”
“No one is going to find out.” He was leaning in close to me. So close in fact, for a moment I thought our foreheads might touch.
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because,” he pulled back as he reached down to take my hand, “we’re not going to let them.”
I don’t know why, maybe because I had no other choice, but I believed him.
Still holding my hand, Derek led the way into the building. Less than an hour later we were walking out again, marriage license in our possession. The whole experience had made me feel like puking, a sensation I was getting uncomfortably used to. Although I probably wasn’t the only one having that reaction to filling out forms in preparation for a lifetime of legal bondage.
“Well, that was different.” I glanced down at the papers in my hand.
“Oh, you’ve never done this before?”
My head shot up to meet his eyes. “You have?”
He grinned. “No.”
I shook my head and slugged him in the arm. “Asshole.”
He lifted his hand and gently touched the corner of my mouth with the tip of his thumb. “Made you smile though.”
“How can you be so calm about all of this? You’re about to marry this crazy chick you barely know…with a kid! I mean, have you thought about this? Really thought about what it’s going to take for this to be convincing? There will be home visits. Social workers. Court hearings. You’ll have to be present. You’ll have to MOVE IN!” Why was I the only one freaking out about this?
“I know, Joss. I know all of that. It’s fine. It’s not like any of it is really going to affect my life all that much. All I do is eat, sleep and work. Maybe have a beer at Bobby’s place a couple nights a week. I’m telling you, I’ve got no life. And if making a few simple changes like sleeping at your place instead of mine can protect you and Wyatt, why not?” Derek nodded toward his truck. “I’m parked over that way.” I could see Hattie sitting in the back, her nose to the wind, enjoying whatever random scents were traveling by. “Where’s your Bronco?”
For a moment I couldn’t even remember. “Parking garage. So, Hattie’s cool just chillin’ in the back of your pick-up? Don’t you worry she might jump out or get taken?”
“Nah, she’s fine. She’d live back there if I let her. Listen, we have three days to decide if we want to go through with this. There’s a coffee shop right off of Main Street. Why don’t you hop in and we cruise over there and have a cup…or two. You can ask me anything you want and I promise I’ll answer…but you have to do the same. It will be our own little version of speed dating.”
And I was the one people called wacko-doodle. Then I heard myself say ‘Okay’ and I knew I’d rightfully earned the name. Of course, he’d never notice because he was clearly just as nuts as I was.
The second I settled into the passenger seat I automatically reached for the glove compartment. I was stupidly relieved to see that the box of Mike and Ikes was still there. I was excited even, to discover that a bag of Skittles had been added to his sugar collection.
“You don’t mind, do you?” I asked, both my cheeks filled with all the colors of the rainbow.
He smirked. “Who do you think I got them for?”
“You’re telling me you stashed candy in your truck anticipating my being a passenger?” I asked dryly, pouring a nice mix of candy into the palm of my hand and preparing to chuck it all into my mouth.
“Actually, yeah.” He was being serious.
“Why?”
He shrugged. “Just seemed like a really simple way to help you relax. Little sugar seems to go a long way in getting you to let your guard down.”
“I’m not gonna lie. You freak me out a little, Derek Tice.”
He laughed. “Really? I kinda think that’s a lie. I get the feeling I freak you out a lot.”
He was right, but I wasn’t about to admit it to him. So, I did what any completely irrational woman in my situation would do and shoved more candy into my mouth.
We arrived at the coffee shop without any further incident, embarrassing or otherwise, and I approached the door fully prepared to open it, when Derek’s tan and toned arm reached out from behind me and beat me to it. Damn. If that motherfucker was going to be a gentleman even when it came to the small stuff, I didn’t stand a chance.
The more I thought about it, the more it dawned on me I hadn’t ever opened the door to his truck either. Somehow I always just managed to climb in unobstructed. Although he’d been smooth about that shit, because I couldn’t actually recall watching him get the door for me either.
Once inside, I felt the palm of his hand on my lower back as he gently moved me through the anxious morning crowd, to the back where there were a few empty tables.
“What are you having?” he asked as I took my seat on one side of the small booth.
“What do they have here?”
“You telling me you don’t have a standard coffee you get everywhere you go?” he tilted his head probingly.
I sighed, defeated. “White chocolate mocha, please.” Derek was frighteningly perceptive and I couldn’t help but wonder if he was like that with everyone or if I had spiked on his radar somehow, drawing more attention than usual. I wasn’t entirely sure which I was hoping for.
Derek Tice was probably the most attractive man I’d ever laid eyes on. And, to make matters more complicated, I’d noticed a few times now that standing in too close of a proximity to him affected my breathing and made my mouth go dry while my legs got all tingly along with other parts of my body I’d forgotten I had. It had been a long time, but I was pretty sure what I was experiencing was something along the lines of being turned on. I mean, I was fairly sure, since those moments made me
want to jump out of my own skin and straight into his. Then I’d hear myself think something like, I’d be wearing a Derek suit, which somehow made my mind travel to scenes from Silence of the Lambs and then being turned on would go right to being grossed out. Then that’d be the end of it until the next time he stood so fucking close.
For some sick reason, this line of thinking inevitably always made me want to put lotion on my hands. So, I was just rubbing in the shea butter cream when I saw Derek coming back to the table, two tall paper cups in hand.
“You like that stuff?” he nodded at the bottle of lotion still sitting on the table.
“It works. My hands get pretty dried out from work. Especially when I’m doing mosaic projects and dealing with grout. It’s like I can feel it sucking the moisture right out of my skin.”
He chuckled and took a sip of his coffee. “Yeah, I know what you mean. I have the same problem. Only it somehow seems less acceptable for a guy to whip out his lotion anytime his skin isn’t soft and smooth, plus they all seem to come with some sort of a girly scent.”
I popped the lid off the bottle and tipped it, preparing to give him a good squirt. “Come on, I’ll share.” When he hesitated I added, “I swear it doesn’t smell like a chick. Just like something you would want to eat.” Like I needed any more excuses to want to put my mouth on the man.
“Hey, this is nice,” he admitted two seconds later while enjoying the benefits of having shea butter soak into his skin.
“I know. So is this by the way, thanks.” I let my coffee do a little celebratory dance in midair before guiding it back to my lips. After several long sips, I set the cup back down. “So, you said I could ask you questions.”
Derek nodded. “Ask away.”
“Alright. For starters, where did you come from? I mean, I’ve lived out here my entire life. Bobby and I went to school with all the same kids, half of our friends from Elementary now work for him at the Monk. I mean, it’s a small fucking community. How come we never crossed paths with you before now?”
The words flew out of my mouth like more of an accusation than a question. Derek was choking on his coffee by the time I was done.
“Well, probably because I haven’t lived out here my entire life. Grew up out in Nevada, actually. Then, joined the Navy the moment I graduated and haven’t stayed put since. When I got out last year, the last thing I wanted to do was go live in another motherfucking desert, so going home was not an option. Did some training out in Key West once and liked it, so Florida it was.”
Navy. My stepdad was an Army man through and through. He’d always made it sound like the Navy guys were pussies who’d never seen combat outside of Pearl Harbor. I wasn’t about to bring that up though. Not to mention, I was pretty sure it wasn’t an entirely accurate assessment considering all the shit talking the various military branches seemed to do about one another. All in good fun, I’m sure. Sort of the way you picked on a younger sibling, but would kick a stranger’s ass for doing the exact same thing.
Derek didn’t strike me as soft or weak in any way. The exact opposite, although even with all his take charge and keep calm energy, I wouldn’t have taken him for a military man.
“You were in the Navy?” It sounded doubtful. Because I was.
“Mm-hm. SEAL. Over ten years.” Well, that made more sense. The SEALs weren’t pussies. They were badasses. Hm. Although, that didn’t really fit Derek either.
“Why’d you leave?” Chances were good I was delving into some really personal stuff here I had no business asking, but considering the circumstances and the fact that I’d had to give up all rights to any kind of privacy the day Cara up and got herself killed on me, I was no longer in the habit of holding back.
“Because the list of pros and cons was getting too close to being even.”
I nodded. I didn’t need details. I’d heard enough at home to know what he meant. War did that to people. Blurred the lines. Made them do wrong things for the right reasons. It wasn’t hard to guess why that sort of a life would wear on a man like Derek.
“How come you’re not married?” Fuck it, I was on a roll anyway.
“How come you’re not?” Touché.
“You were there, you saw what happened. Nobody wants to marry me.” I sipped my coffee and hoped that was the end of it. I was willing to call a truce on this one if he was.
“I wanted to marry you.”
“That’s only because you don’t know me very well.”
He didn’t say anything. Then, “Funny, that’s what everyone was telling me last night after you left as well.”
“I was joking. I’m total marriage material. Those assholes don’t know what they’re talking about.” I went to put my cup down and almost missed the table. “Seriously, I’m going to be the best damn fake wife you’ve ever seen.”
“Oh, I believe it.” But he was smirking like maybe he didn’t.
“Anyway, I was supposed to be asking you questions, not the other way around.” I crossed my arms like a pouting child and instantly pictured Wyatt. It was his favorite pose these days…and I probably didn’t look nearly as adorable doing it as he did.
Meanwhile, Derek was leaning back into his seat like he couldn’t possibly be any more relaxed. “My apologies. Please, continue.”
I went to open my mouth before I realized, I didn’t really have any other questions prepared. “So…um…since you’re not married. Do you have any other family? Kids? Parents? Siblings? Crazy Aunts?”
Derek’s arms reached up and he stretched them back, resting his head in the palms of his hands.
“Yeah, I’ve got family. I didn’t just show up out of thin air, you know. I’ve got parents. Ken and Mary Tice. Both lovely people. Mom’s a retired teacher. Taught middle school English up until last year. Now she’s giving writing a try. About halfway through her first romance novel last time I talked to her.” He smiled that mama’s boy smile and it was the cutest fucking thing ever. Naturally, I looked away as fast as I could. I was busy staring at some woman struggling to get her wallet back into her purse one handed while holding her coffee with the other when he continued.
“Dad owns a construction company. Gave me my first job when I was fifteen. Those skills have come in pretty handy over the years. Mom’s wanting him to slow down now, and I think he’s getting close to retiring as well.”
I ventured a furtive glance back in his direction to see if it was safe. It was. “So, shouldn’t you be prepping to take over the family business or something?”
He shook his head. “Nah. My dad and I may do the same thing, but we do it very differently. Besides, my brother-in-law’s out there. They’ve been working together now for almost ten years. I’m sure he’s more than capable of taking over.”
“So you have a sister?”
“Yep. Allison. Two years older. And a brother, Cameron. He was a surprise. To all of us. He’s five years behind me.”
I waited a moment. “Crazy aunts? Kids?”
Derek’s eyes were locked on mine and he chuckled softly. “Joss, I wouldn’t be here about to play house with you if I had a kid out there somewhere.”
Oh crap. This man was going to be a problem and I could already tell playing pretend was going to feel way too good for me to keep track of what was real and what wasn’t.
“I was just checking,” I mumbled as I went for more coffee. My cup had been empty since two fake sips ago, but it was giving me something to do with my hands and they needed it.
“Was there anything else you wanted to know? Credit score? Results from my last physical? If I have a record?”
I smirked. “You’re ex-military? SEAL? Yeah, I’m not so worried about any of those. If you pass their physicals and security check, you pass mine.”
His eyes narrowed briefly. “Military brat?”
“Yeah. My stepdad. He was supposed to be retired three years ago, but the Army roped him back in for one more round. Not that it was hard. It’s been his whole life. His
dad was in as well. I don’t think he’d know what to do with himself if he got out. Probably drive us all crazy.” I shrugged and took another habitual sip. “Well, my mom anyway. They’re out in Arizona, so Bobby and I don’t exactly have to worry about dealing with him should he come into some unexpected free time.”
I placed the empty cup back on the table and Derek reached for it almost instantly. Instinctively, I grabbed my cup to keep it from him.
“What are you doing?”
“Getting you a refill.”
I still refused to loosen my grip. “What makes you think I need one?”
He grinned. “Because you haven’t swallowed the last five times you put that cup to your lips. Now let go so I can get you another one. Or else I’ll just have them use a new cup. And I know how much you like to recycle.”
Reluctantly, I released my coffee cup. Not because I was against a refill. It just felt like I was surrendering so much more than a paper cup by doing so…
***
Joss was nervous. Not that I could blame her. I just wished I knew if it was me or the prospect of what we were about to do that was causing her to unravel with such anxiety. Wasn’t like I’d had a ton of time to spend with her before, but when I had been around her she’d always been so chill and matter-of-fact about things, like nothing could shake her. She was steady. Confident.
Today she was a ball of nerves, and not just because she kept drinking from an empty cup. She’d barely made eye contact with me since we got there. Plus, I’d noticed her knee shaking under the table. None of it bothered me, I just wished I knew how to help her feel more at ease. With everything she was already dealing with because of this Travis guy, the last thing I wanted was to add to her stress in any way. I mean, clearly, I was attempting to do the exact opposite. It was fucking annoying to feel like I was failing at it already.
I was walking back to the table with a fresh coffee in hand when I realized filling her up with sugar and caffeine probably wasn’t going to lower her blood pressure any. At the same time, it was suddenly crystal clear what would.