Annie saw that half of the large room was set up as a study, with an ornate desk, computer, bookshelves, and file cabinets. The far side of the room seemed more like a den or family room, with a huge flat screen television and a couple of comfortable looking overstuffed chairs and a small couch. There was a single straight-backed chair in the center of the room, and Jack led her straight to that. He sat in the chair and stood her directly in front of him.
Annie was trembling so hard that she was afraid her knees would give out and she would collapse. Her chest heaved as she tried to catch her breath. She wasn't ready for this! She remembered how much it had hurt last week, and she just couldn't go through with that again. She wanted to turn and flee back down the stairs, back out the door, and into the night.
Jack gently pulled Annie so she was standing between his knees and held both of her hands in his. He could feel the waves of terror radiating out from her.
"It's going to be all right, I promise you. Let's just get this over with, okay, Annie?" Jack said softly. "Do you remember what you're getting spanked for tonight?" He gave her hands a gentle squeeze.
Annie tried to suck in enough air so that she could speak. "Yes," she choked. "So I won't have to go to jail."
"Annie, I told you that you would not have gone to jail for this offense." Jack started to explain to Annie once again the legal penalty for breaking the law regarding animal safety, but it was beyond Annie to discuss the penal code at this point. She simply nodded her head.
"Annie, you're being punished because you broke the federal laws designed to protect vulnerable lab animals," Jack resumed in a very formal tone. "You let someone into the lab who brought in food and drink, as well as illegal substances. You violated both safety and hygiene codes and risked endangering the health of the animals. You broke multiple laws.
"However," Jack continued. "You did not bring any people or substances into direct contact with the animals, so this mitigates the damage that was done. You'll still be punished, but since you did not bring anything or anyone into the rat room itself, your spanking won't be as hard as the one you received last week to keep your job."
Annie wasn't sure that she was hearing things correctly. She had thought that breaking federal laws was the worst of her offenses and so her punishment would be at least as bad, if not worse than what she had received last week. She was relieved beyond measure to think that her punishment would not be as severe as her last spanking and finally seemed to be able to catch her breath.
"I can get through this. It's not going to be as bad as before," Annie repeated silently to herself like a mantra. She tried to tune out everything else and just repeat those phrases to herself.
* * *
To Jack's surprise, Annie slipped her hands out of his, undid the snap and zipper on her jeans and lowered them to her ankles. She stepped out of her jeans then pulled down her panties and stepped out of those, too. She left her clothes in a heap at her feet and stood between Jack's knees, looking down. Her lips moved slightly as she repeated her reassurances to herself.
Jack tried to hide his astonishment at her compliance. It wasn't that he thought she would object to getting spanked, of course. After all, she came to his house of her own volition, expecting him to spank her. Her willing acquiescence and docile submission took his breath away. Suddenly, his desire for Annie nearly overwhelmed him.
Jack cupped Annie's face gently in his hands. "Annie, maybe we should…"
"Let's just get this over with, please," Annie interrupted.
"But Annie, we don't have to…."
"Please, Jack," Annie repeated. She desperately wanted the spanking over. The fearful anticipation had drained her of any resistance, and now that she knew that it wouldn't be as bad as last time, she just wanted it to be done. She also wanted to see if what Jack had said was true, and she would not have to agonize over her mistake for the rest of her life. Would a spanking really get rid of the guilt that overwhelmed her daily? With trembling hands, she reached up and removed Jack's hands from her face then bent herself over his left knee.
Jack took a deep breath to steady himself. He suddenly understood the expression 'falling head over heels in love.' He felt positively dizzy with emotion and closed his eyes to try to muster all of his self-control. When he opened his eyes again, he took another deep breath and addressed the girl who trusted him with her complete vulnerability.
"All right, Annie. We'll get this spanking over with. As I said, it won't be nearly as bad as last week. I am going to give you a 'warm-up' spanking with my hand first, then I will give you twenty smacks with this wooden ruler." Jack picked up a thick, old fashioned, eighteen-inch wooden ruler and smacked it against his hand. "We'll have a short break in between the two parts of the spanking, but you don't have to stand in the corner during the break, like last time." Jack thought it would be easier on her to save the corner time until after the spanking was over rather than make her stand in the corner, anticipating the ruler. He felt she'd had more than enough anticipation of the spanking, all week.
* * *
Annie closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she felt Jack set the ruler on the floor and lift his hand to begin the first portion of her punishment. "I can get through this. It's not going to be as bad as before," she repeated silently to herself. Although the first swat stung like crazy and caused her to flinch, the subsequent ones seemed much more bearable.
It was only after the swats had been raining down on her bottom for a full minute that she realized Jack was gradually building the intensity of the smacks. By the end of the second minute, her bottom was blazing, but she seemed well able to bear the harder smacks. It hurt quite a bit, and she wriggled and yelped, especially when he smacked her tender sit spots and her thighs, but she wasn't nearly as frightened as she was last time. She trusted him now and accepted the pain, hoping fervently it would cleanse her of the crushing guilt she felt.
By the end of the third minute, just when she felt she had reached her limit and wouldn't be able to stand it anymore, Jack starting slowing and lessening the smacks. After another thirty seconds or so, the smacks tapered off completely.
Annie took a deep breath and opened her eyes. She couldn't believe she had gotten through the first part of her spanking already. She hadn't even cried. She turned her head to look back at Jack. Did he want her to stay in position? She felt his hand gently rub her back, and she relaxed over his knee as he started to talk to her in a stern voice.
"Annie, I want you to think about what you did to earn this spanking and what you should do to prevent this from happening again. You knew what the laws were, but you blatantly disregarded them and gave into pressure to do what you knew was wrong."
As Annie heard these words, all the shame and guilt she felt about her behavior came rushing back to her. How could she have done such a thing? The consequences could have been terrible! Why hadn't she just said no? Although she hadn't cried during her spanking, she felt her eyes burn with unshed tears now. Jack continued to scold her until the guilt and shame she felt were almost unbearable. Just when she thought she couldn't stand it anymore, she saw Jack's hand reach down and pick up the thick wooden ruler that lay on the floor next to her head.
"Now, Annie, you are going to be punished for breaking those laws," Jack continued sternly. "But once the punishment is over, then the entire incident is over and done with. Do you understand me? When the spanking is finished, you are not allowed to feel guilty about this anymore."
With that, Jack smacked her bottom sharply with the ruler as he called out, "One."
Annie was shocked at how much the ruler hurt. It was so much more painful than Jack's hand. She couldn't help kicking her feet slightly as the second swat followed the first. By the fifth swat, she was kicking so wildly that Jack had to use his right leg to hold her legs in place.
Jack continued to rain hard swats down on her rapidly reddening bottom. By the twelfth swat, she couldn't help it. Her right hand shot back to
try to protect her vulnerable bottom, but Jack caught it deftly in his left hand and pinned it to her side. By the fifteenth swat, Annie's yelps had escalated to shrieks, but she still wasn't crying yet. On the eighteenth swat, Annie shoved her left fist into her mouth and bit down on it, hard, for the nineteenth swat.
The twentieth swat was the hardest of all. When it was all over and Jack set the ruler back on the floor, there was a moment of complete silence.
Then the dam broke.
Annie started sobbing in great, shuddering squalls. She cried so hard that Jack had to grab hold of her again to keep her from falling off his lap. He turned her over and tried to pick her up, but the crying was so intense, she was limp from it. Her body shuddered and heaved from the sobs. Although the weeping wasn't loud, the intensity of it scared Jack.
* * *
Jack tried to stand up with Annie in his arms, but her limpness and sobbing made it difficult to hold her. He headed for the couch on the other side of the study, thinking it would be easier to hold her there, because the arms of the couch were padded and would help support her. But as he lifted her, one of her great shuddering sobs knocked the straight-back chair he had been sitting on over and blocked his path.
Jack felt a moment of panic. Although she wasn't heavy, he was afraid he was going to drop her because she was so difficult to hold in this floppy, heaving state. He turned and strode quickly through the door, back into the hall, and then into his bedroom, where he laid her gently on his bed. He reached down and pulled the extra quilt that lay over the foot of the bed up around her and gently cradled her head and shoulders.
Annie opened her eyes as she felt Jack carry her and set her down, and when she realized where she was, she wanted to object. She couldn't be in his bed! However, she couldn't suppress the spasmodic sobs enough to get any coherent words out. All that happened was that her blubbering became more strident.
Jack recognized a change in her cries and hastened to reassure her. "It's okay, baby. Everything's okay; you're safe. I promise you. Hush, baby." The intensity of Annie's response still frightened him, and he felt desperate to console her. What had he done to her?
Annie was crying too hard to understand Jack's words, but his reassuring tone soothed her and she fell back against the pillow. She closed her eyes and gave herself over to the huge, convulsive sobs that overwhelmed her.
Jack gently hugged Annie closer to him and tried to comfort her as best he could. He continued to whisper soothingly into her ear and to stroke her hair gently with his free hand. He was shocked and scared by the ferocity of Annie's sobbing. She had cried when he had spanked her last week, but it was nothing compared to the uncontrolled convulsions of her current outburst. The sobs being ripped from her seemed almost powerful enough to tear her apart. Jack felt frantic to comfort her and relieve the pain that caused her to weep so inconsolably.
After what seemed to be a very long time, but was actually only a matter of minutes, Annie's convulsive sobs began to slow and lessen. Jack continued to whisper softly in her ear and to stroke her hair while her breathing slowly calmed. When it had been several minutes since her sobs had abated and she still hadn't opened her eyes, Jack became concerned.
"Annie?" he whispered softly. When she didn't respond, he tried again, just a bit louder. "Annie? Are you okay?"
She was asleep! Sleeping! Jack couldn't believe it. Only moments ago, she had been in acute distress, and now she was sleeping?
Jack tried to hold perfectly still so he didn't wake her, but his thoughts were roiling. Why had she gone to sleep? Had he traumatized her so thoroughly that she had to sleep to escape? How could he have done that to her?
He had tried so hard to do it right this time. He had worried that he had spanked her too hard last week, so he had done as much research as he could, to make sure he didn't make that mistake again. He had made sure not to spank her nearly as long or as hard as the first time. He had read both sides of the debate about whether it was better to give a 'warm up' before a spanking and had concluded that it was best to do so to reduce the chance of bruising. He had researched all the implements and decided on the ruler because people who had been spanked reported that it stung but it was not as painful as a wooden paddle. He had ordered a leather paddle over the internet, but it hadn't arrived in time. He had even tried the ruler out on himself, smacking his own thigh with it, trying to make sure he didn't apply it with too much force.
But despite his extensive perusal of the topic, he had still ended up causing Annie so much distress that she escaped into unconsciousness. Jack felt like a monster. How could he have done that to her? As soon as she woke up, he was going to apologize to her. He didn't know if she would ever forgive him, but he would promise her that he would not spank her again. What could he have been thinking, telling her she needed four more spankings? Was he out of his mind? Would she even talk to him ever again?
Just then, Annie stretched. She arched her back and stretched her whole body like a cat. A small smile played at the corners of her lips, and she slowly opened her eyes. She slowly blinked once, twice, a third time, and then her eyes opened wide.
"Oh!" she cried, looking around worriedly. "What… Where… What happened?"
"Annie, are you okay?" Jack helped her to sit up, being careful to keep her lower body covered with the quilt. "You fell asleep…"
"What, umm, what happened?" Annie asked again.
"Well, you cried really hard, then, you fell asleep. Oh, Annie, I…"
"Sorry about that," Annie interrupted, her face reddening. "I'm really sorry!"
Her apologies flustered him. "Sweetheart, you don't have to apologize! I'm the one – I never meant to spank you so hard that you…"
"I wasn't crying because of the spanking." Annie felt a bit discombobulated after her short nap and bewildered about how they had gotten onto this topic. Could she still be dreaming? She never, ever napped, and waking up after sleeping for twenty minutes made her feel more than a little dazed. "Well, in a way, I guess it was because of the spanking, but not because you spanked me too hard. I was just so relieved…"
"You were relieved because the spanking was over?"
"Well, yes, but…" Annie turned her face up to Jack, and to his surprise, she was beaming. "You were right. The guilt is gone. I don't have to feel bad anymore. That's why I was crying like that. I was so relieved. As soon as the spanking was over, I could feel it, Jack. It was like a huge a weight lifted, and I could breathe again. Oh, Jack!"
* * *
Annie closed her eyes and snuggled back down against his chest. She felt so relaxed; she was certain this must be a dream. She never felt this relaxed when she was awake, never! What did you call it, when you are dreaming and, at the same time, you know you're dreaming? She had read about it in her psychology class. Lucid dreaming, that's what it's called. She must be having a 'lucid dream.' Well, she might as well enjoy it, she thought, as she rested her head on Jack's shoulder.
"You have no idea what it's like," she murmured. "Having to feel so guilty all the time, having the weight of all the things you've ever done wrong pile up on you like that. I wake up every morning, terrified I'm going to do something else wrong, something else that I'll have to regret, every day for the rest of my life. It makes me so anxious all the time! I know it's crazy, but I can't help it. I just can't stop feeling bad about the mistakes I made and worrying and agonizing over the ones I might make. But you've changed everything, Jack. I still can't believe it, but it worked. As soon as you stopped spanking me, I could feel the difference. It was such a gigantic feeling of relief. I'm sorry I cried like that. I just couldn't help it."
"So you're okay?" Jack was still worried about how distressed she'd been. "Because we don't have to finish the rest of the spankings, I don't want to make you feel…"
"No, Jack, don't you see? The spanking did it, at first I didn't think it would work, maybe because you weren't spanking me very hard. But at the end, it really hurt, and then it was ov
er." Annie sat up again as she tried to explain it to him. "I don't want you to spank me, and I don't like it, at least…well, anyway, not really." Even in her dream, there were certain things that Annie didn't want to admit out loud. "But it gives me a way, kind of a mechanism, I guess you might say, to get rid of the guilt from doing something wrong. I wish I'd discovered this years ago," she said drowsily, as she leaned back against him again. "Just think of all the sleepless nights this would have saved me."
* * *
Jack still felt a little dubious about whether they should continue the spankings, but he was thrilled that she seemed to be feeling better. He pulled her closer to him in a gentle hug.
When Jack released Annie from the hug and his arm relaxed around her, his hand gently grazed the bare skin of her hip. He felt Annie stiffen immediately as she grabbed at the quilt that covered her.
This must be one of those dreams where you find yourself suddenly in public, without any pants on, thought Annie with horror! "Uhh, Jack…" Annie began in a tremulous voice.
Jack was sensitive to Annie's distress and immediately hopped out of bed. "Tell you what," he said quickly. "I shopped for all the ingredients for hot chocolate; how about if I go make you some now?"
"That sounds great!" Despite her profound embarrassment, Jack's thoughtfulness touched her. Had he really shopped for hot chocolate just for her? Was she dreaming or awake? It was so hard to tell. She felt so drowsy – and so very thirsty!
"Umm, Jack? I'd love some hot chocolate, but could I have a glass of water first? I'm just parched."
"Sure." Jack felt pleased to have something he could do for her. "Just get dressed and come on down; one cold water and one hot chocolate coming right up!"
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