by Calinda B
“As are we,” Caitlin said. She smiled warmly, welcoming Beck.
Zed gave her a grateful smile.
“Beck,” Jace said. “Good to see you.”
“She’s beautiful,” Caitlin mouthed behind Beck.
Zed winked at her.
“Ready to go, champ?” Jace said. “We’ll start with a ten-minute warm-up on the bike at level four. Smooth and easy. Then twenty minutes at level eight, followed by a ten-minute cool down at level four.”
“Got it coach,” Zed said with a smirk. “He already printed out the training regime and made me memorize it. He thinks I can’t read,” he said to Beck. “Either that or feels a need to show who’s the boss.”
“Making sure we’re on the same page,” Jace said with a smile.
“But first I have a race to perform with someone in particular.”
“Me!” shouted Rickie. He gripped the handlebars of his shiny red Diamondback Junior Viper bike, matching helmet in place.
Cerise and Marni toddled to the bike, reaching for the frame.
“Me!” shouted Cerise.
“Me!” added Marni.
“No, no,” Rickie said. “This activity is for the older kids.”
“Damn. Your kids are all so sweet. You’re giving me ideas.” Beck smiled at Caitlin and Zoé.
“You’re with a great guy to have an idea with,” Caitlin said.
“They can be a handful at times,” Zoé said, grinning at Zed’s reddening face. “But worth it if you’re with the right guy to raise them with.”
Zed wondered if his face would burst into flames.
“And just a warning—if you hurt him, you’ll have me to answer to.” She flipped her head, causing her zebra colored hair to swish and sway.
Zed cringed, wanting Beck to feel warm and welcome, not threatened by his bossy sister. “Caitlin,” he said in warning.
Beck smiled. “Oh, I figured as much. Zed’s told me you’re a warrior princess. You’ve got my word I’ll take good care of him and his heart.” She flashed her warm smile at Zed.
This is too good to be true, Zed thought. I must be in the same warp zone Beck mentioned when she ran into Tyler. Alternate realities. He threw his arm around this amazing woman and pulled her close.
“You’re not getting any training done hanging in the mushy zone,” Jace grumbled. “Let’s go.”
“Roger, boss. I’m on it.”
“Ready with the GoPro,” Jeff declared. He held the camera aloft, poised at the end of a long mount. “I’ll position myself along the straightaway to catch you while you’re gaining speed.”
“And we’ll all cheer,” Beck said.
After all the family hoorah—him racing Rickie, and “tying” with the kid, much to Rickie’s delight, he got down to business. After the warm-up, Zed kicked into “the zone” with the twenty-minute push, a one-pointed focus on breath and body movement. He loved the zone. Feet on the pedals. Legs pumping. Heart rate accelerating. Each time he passed by his fan club, they all cheered and shouted, waving their arms, clapping. It felt great.
The best part, though? Beck. He’d hear her shout things like, “Go, baby, go!” and “Looking good, champ,” and his heart would soar toward the heavens while a grin formed on his face. Thoughts of Lawson seemed distant, remote, like some sort of nightmare, which had no basis in reality. Still, while he’d learned to not get attached to girls, thanks to Lawson and even Jace, now he was attached, big time.
It was like Mitch said—here he sat, aching for the girl in front of him, and King Kong stood between them, making a deep connection impossible. Improbable? Unlikely? Small obstacle?
He left those thoughts behind as he made the turn. When he passed by Jace and fans, Jace pushed his palm up and down, as if patting the space in front of him, indicating time for the cool down. Zed began to dial back the intensity of his ride.
He’d made one more turn of the track, passed by the crowd, when another bicycle pulled up next to him.
“Hey, good looking,” Beck said, grinning at him.
“Hey, gorgeous.”
“I figured I’d keep you company for the cool down. I should be able to keep up.”
“Let me know if I need to slow it down,” Zed said. He felt like the luckiest man alive.
“Puh-lease,” Beck said. “The only thing you’ll have to turn down is your ego. I do know how to ride.”
He laughed, and they continued their ride in silence. They passed by the fans again, made the turn, and headed for the straightaway. Zed experienced an easy, comfortable comradery, doing something he was beginning to love, with someone he was beginning to…he quickly cut that thought off. Don’t say it. Too soon.
His eyes caught movement in the distant parking lot and he looked up. He blinked. Is that a green Jeep? He blinked again, certain a tall, chiseled blond stood poised behind the Jeep, with a…is that a rifle? Is he going to shoot me? Is he going to shoot Beck? That’s the last thing he remembered before darkness overtook him.
Chapter 19
Someone shook his shoulder like they wanted to dislocate it.
“Baby, come back. Zed. Sweetheart. Baby, please. Wake up.”
He’d heard those words before in the not too distant past. Zed’s consciousness slowly seeped into his muzzy-headed brain. He opened his eyes to see an entire pity party surrounding him, peering down at him with worried faces. He blinked to clear his gaze, sat up, saw his bike laying near him, Beck’s nearby. He swung his gaze toward the parking lot. No Jeep.
“Here, drink this.” Jace thrust a water bottle in his direction.
He took it and gratefully tipped his head back to hydrate. Feeling a mixture of shame and confusion at finding himself sprawled on the dirt track in front of people he cared about, he asked, “What happened? Did I run into you? Are you okay, honey?”
“I’m fine. You must’ve hit some gravel or something. One minute we were riding along, the next minute you’re flying over your handlebars.”
The concern in Beck’s eyes alarmed him. “Yeah, that must be it. I kind of recall a rough patch on the track.” Inwardly, he groaned at his fabricated tale.
Beck nodded, looking like she didn’t really believe him.
Great. Now she’ll think I’m a liar.
Rickie said excitedly, “You looked like a superhero, Uncle Zed. You even stretched out your arms like Superman.”
Everyone laughed, even Zed, easing the tension. He got to his feet, brushed off his red-dust covered pants, saying, “Let’s finish up the cool down, for consistency’s sake.”
“I don’t know, baby, you took quite a tumble,” Beck said.
“Don’t push yourself,” Jace said. “We can resume with running tomorrow. You got in a good workout. Good time on level eight.”
“No, no, I insist.” He needed time to distance himself from the jarring event and sort things in his head. Zed reached down to grab his handlebars, inspecting his scratched up bike. At least the frame hadn’t taken a hit. Is the front wheel slightly bent? “Bike’s in worse shape than me. I might have to get a new one. Or at the very least, new wheels. Shit.” He adjusted his helmet, turned to Beck and said, “You joining me?”
A small frown crossed her face. “Sure. Someone has to watch out for you,” she muttered, before gamely plastering on a smile. “Let’s do this. Afterwards, I need to race a certain pint-sized racer.” She turned her attention on Rickie.
“I’m going to win!” he said. “I almost beat my uncle and you’re a girl.”
“Rickie!” Caitlin snapped. “A girl isn’t an inferior species.”
“I know, but she might not have the muscles I do.”
“Good Lord, Jeff, what have you been telling him?”
“Don’t look at me,” Jeff said.
Zed swung his leg over the frame. “Ready?” he said to Beck.
“Ready.” She clicked together her helmet strap under her chin and swung her shapely leg over the bike. “After you,” she said.
&nb
sp; Zed took off at a leisurely pace. He looked over at Beck. She appeared grim. “What’s the matter?”
“Nothing,” she said, eyes focused ahead.
“Looks like something.”
“Zed, I’m worried about you.”
“And I told you not to worry. I must have hit a pothole or something. It happens.”
She pressed her lips together and pedaled.
After they’d done a few rounds of the track in silence, Zed slowed to a stop at the gathering of onlookers.
“Good job, buddy,” Jace said, pounding him on the back.
“Thanks.” He kept his attention on Beck. She did not look happy.
“Is there a bathroom around here?” she said. “Porta potty?” Her eyes held an intense expression like she looked through a rifle scope.
Unease rolled through Zed’s gut.
“It’s way over there,” Caitlin said. “I have to go, too. Jeff, can you watch the babies?”
“Sure thing,” Jeff said.
Jace turned to Zoé, who held a sleeping Marni. “Hey, babe. I’m going to walk Beck’s bike back to the truck with Zed. Chat about the training. I’ll be back in one quick sec.”
Zoé eyed her husband with a knowing look, shifting the child her in her arms. “Jeff and I can keep each other company until you return.”
“Hey!” protested Rickie. “She’s going to race me.”
“Okay, but one quick race and then we need to go. We’re all hungry,” his mom said.
“We’ll take your bike back to the truck, Zed,” Jace said easily. “Leave Beck’s. Chat a bit. This kind of thing can happen in the triathlon and you’ll need to be prepared to get back on the horse, so to speak, and race. Like you did just now. I should have thought of that.”
Shit, Zed thought. Just what I need. A lecture.
“Let’s go, champ,” Jace said.
When they got out of earshot, Jace asked, “What really happened? You were out cold.”
“Fuck me,” Zed said. “That’s the third time it’s happened in as many days.”
“Seriously?” Jace’s face creased into a deep frown. “When and where?”
“The first time when I was with Mitch. That prick tried some tough love maneuver on me calling me my brother’s bitch. I told him he didn’t get to treat me like that and I tried to leave. The bastard pinned me to the door of his kitchen, same as Lawson did in San Diego, to ‘see what I’d do,’” Zed said, making air quotes. “I woke up on the floor, furious.” Zed glanced over his shoulder at Beck and his sister in the distance, having what looked like a heated discussion. Fuck.
“Yeah, he can get a little carried away. But he’s got a good heart.”
“Maybe. I finally agreed to keep going with him.”
Jace nodded. “The next time it happened?”
“With Beck. We were talking about my brother and I lost it. Again woke up on the ground.” Zed ground his teeth together. “The rat bastard called me today. When I was headed over here with Beck and Rickie.”
“What did he want?”
“He wants more blood money to pay off his blackmailer. Oh, and he’s retiring early. Going to be in the race.”
“Shit,” said Jace. “Not good.”
“Not good at all. I pulled the truck off the road because Beck and Rickie were in the truck with me. Got out and called him back because he hung up on me when he found out I had the phone on speaker. He threatened me again. I told him to fuck off. But we all know he’s fully capable of killing me. Mitch said when you’ve crossed the line once, you can do it again. I’m so fucking freaked I don’t know what to do. Who’s going to believe me if I snitch on him? It’s only hearsay.”
“Fuck if I know,” Jace said. “So what happened today?”
“I thought I saw his Jeep in the parking lot. I swore he had a rifle aimed at Beck. At Beck! It’s one thing to worry about my own life but if anything happens to her…” His face twisted into anguish. “I can’t tell her. And she keeps telling me there’s a wall between us. No shit, there’s a wall.” Zed’s free hand clenched into a fist. His other squeezed the handlebars. “More like a fortress.”
“You do see the pattern, right?” Jace said.
“Yeah. My fucking brother.”
“You, uh, might want to get your head checked out.”
“Hell, no!” Zed raged. “There’s nothing wrong with my head. The only thing that’s wrong with me is I feel so fucking helpless. I think Mitch was right—I am my brother’s bitch. Goddamn fucking hell.” He pitched his bike on the grass, threw his hands in the air and stormed in circles around Jace. “Do you have any idea how this makes me feel? I want to kill somebody. I want to kill my fucking brother. I’m no better than him. He’s taken away so much of my life. And now, at the onset of what could be a great relationship, he’s still destroying any chance I have of making it with Beck. Fuck!”
Jace calmly strode to Zed’s bike and picked it up from the grass. “I hear you, man. Believe me, I know what you’re going through. My sister’s actions messed me up a time or two.”
“I know.” Zed let out a deep sigh, raking his hand through his hair. “My frustration level’s going through the roof. To top it off, I’m holding back from having sex with Beck and it’s driving me crazy. All we do is make out like a couple of chaste teenagers from the fifties.”
Jace looked puzzled. “Why? Why would you do that?”
“Because.” The word blew from his mouth like a bomb. “Because it seems deeply intimate to have sex with her. You know, to enter her. And she might…I might fall in love. It would be the first time for me, ever. With all this shit with my brother it seems so goddamned risky to let that happen.” His eyes lifted to see Beck walking back across the field with Caitlin, her eyes trained on him.
“Zed,” Jace said. “I’m with you on the fear of falling in love. With Zoé, I didn’t feel worthy. Remember how I kept acting like a jackass?”
“Yeah,” Zed said. “Boy, do I.” He smirked.
“I started to love her and man, oh, man, was I scared. I was so afraid of fucking it up, I kept fucking it up. I hate to tell you this buddy, but I think you’re already falling. And I think she is, too. Even Zoé said something about it.”
“What did she say?” Zed asked, arms crossed over his chest.
“She asked if I noticed the way Beck looked at you. I said I didn’t and she made me look up from the stopwatch and observe. The girl’s into you, big time.”
Zed’s mouth worked right and left. Some of the steam began to leave his engine. “Well, that could change in a snap if she finds out what kind of brother I have.”
“I’m sure Mitch told you what it was like to confess to his girlfriend he’s a felon with a pretty badass record behind him.”
“Yeah. He did.”
“So…”
“So, you might consider telling her. Either she’ll stick around or she won’t, but I suspect she’s made of sterner stuff.”
“Maybe. The time has to be right, though.”
“Understood.”
“Uncle Zed,” Rickie yelled from across the field.
Zed turned around. “What?” he yelled back.
“Come watch me and Beck race!”
“I’ll be right there,” he said. His eyes met Beck’s in the distance and he gazed at her good and hard, trying to convey his renewed commitment to working things through. “Let’s get the bike back to the truck and go watch the big event,” he said to Jace.
“Right behind you.”
The two men strode toward the black truck. Zed hefted his bicycle into the bed, fingering the frame. “Got a few scratches to buff out.”
“Scratches are easy to repair. They’re nothing. They’re like making it through an argument. Take a risk, Zed. Trust me. If I hadn't learned to let my woman in, and placed my confidence in her to keep counsel with me, none of this would be possible.” He waved his hand toward her and Marni. “I told you, I’m a happy man for the first time in my
life. You might want to take a chance on love. What’s the alternative? You don’t want to end up an unhappy bastard like your brother, do you?”
Chapter 20
Wondering if training for a triathlon would help him run from his past, or away from love, Zed and Beck drove toward a café near his mom’s house to meet up with everyone for lunch. Afterward, Caitlin and family were to head over to his mother’s—something Zed had zero interest in doing—and Jace and his family had other commitments back in Port Townsend.
Beck had iced him out of any conversation or eye contact while preparing to leave. She’d been warm with everyone else, but not with him.
As they headed up the sparsely populated, rural road, the atmosphere veering toward sub-zero, Zed said, “I know I deserve your silence but it’s killing me, Beck. I’m only trying to protect you.”
“That’s not what people do who are trying to build a relationship.”
She still wouldn’t look at him, making him feel like trash. “Honey, please. This is all new to me—this building a relationship stuff. I told you I never formed attachments before. I’m already attached to you, big time.”
This earned a slight smile. If he took his eyes off the road for a sec and squinted he could almost make it out.
“Then, pony up with intel, cowboy.”
Zed braked for a stop sign. “Can it wait until I’m ready?” he asked the side of her head.
“How long do I have to wait?”
Zed drummed the steering wheel with his fingers. “I don’t know. Let’s get through lunch. After that, everyone’s going their separate ways. It will give me time to sort things out. Deal?”
She turned to him at last and said, “Okay. Deal.”
Zed breathed out a sigh of relief.
Lunch turned out to be a lively affair consisting of tired, hungry kids, vying for attention, earning reprimands from their parents. Caitlin and Zoé each marched outside with their respective kids at various points during lunch, to calm them. Each strode back in with contrite children, ready to behave. No one got much conversation in since the focus was kept on the kids and their needs.