But he hasn’t written or sent any kind of message. Surely if he was still alive he’d let you know. Peter couldn’t bring himself to say the words she didn’t want to hear. If he was alive but hadn’t written, he could be wounded so badly he would never recover, or maybe he was rotting away in prison. “Then I can only pray very, very hard that I’ll get a letter telling me Jake came home,” he told her, squeezing her hand reassuringly. “I have always wanted to hate the man but never could. I wouldn’t have minded landing a fist into him a time or two, but God knows what I’d get in return would have put me in the hospital.”
Randy smiled and shook her head. “No. He’d probably just get up and say he deserved it. Jake is very fond of you. He respects you, and he appreciates the things you’ve done for him and this family.”
Peter studied her lovingly. “No man could have fallen into better luck, considering his condition when he met you, than Jake Harkner did. You’re a fine woman, Randy Harkner. Be proud of what you did for that man, and for the kind of mother and grandmother you are. If I had ever enjoyed the privilege of loving you as a wife, I would have considered it a great honor. But I know that even if Jake is no longer alive, it wouldn’t matter. You will remain married to a memory and unable to love any other man that way. But I feel damn lucky to have been able to remain your friend. You remember that I’m here for you. Don’t ever, ever hesitate to ask me for anything you need, understand?”
A tear slipped down Randy’s cheek. “I do. And if things had worked out differently, I would have considered it an honor to be your wife. But that never once entered my mind, Peter. I couldn’t let it. Since I was twenty years old, only one man has consumed my heart and soul, and if he never comes back, that won’t change. Thank you for being so good to me…to all of us. You and my son-in-law Brian are two of the finest, most patient, most genteel men I have ever known. You’re both honorable and truly good men.” She let go of his hand. “You’d better go now. Come to supper tonight, will you? You and Jeff both.”
“We will. And I think it’s best we leave plenty early tomorrow.”
Randy wiped at tears with a shaking hand. “Yes. Take some of my homemade biscuits with you. And do give Treena my love.”
Peter struggled against his urge to cry. God, how he loved her! Yet there was nothing he wanted more now than to learn Jake Harkner was still alive…that he’d come home. As much as he loved this woman he could never have, he loved the thought of her true happiness even more, and there was only one thing that would give her that. He sighed deeply and turned, squeezing her hand once more before letting go. He walked to the door and hesitated. “This isn’t goodbye, Randy. I hate goodbyes. I want to always stay in touch and maybe bring Treena out here again. She loved that last visit. Would that be all right?”
“Of course it would.”
“I mean…even if Jake doesn’t make it back?”
Randy wiped at more tears. “Yes. Even if he doesn’t make it back. He would want that. He’s never quite gotten over Treena calling him magnificent. We joke about it… I mean, we used to joke about it often. The men ribbed him something awful about that.”
Peter grinned and nodded, then turned away again. “God bless you, Randy Harkner.”
“And God bless you, Peter Brown.”
He walked out. He could hear her crying, but he didn’t dare go back inside. Damned if he didn’t feel someone watching…someone big and tall and strong and intimidating and possessive. No one would ever touch Jake Harkner’s woman. He owned her, even in death.
Fifty-four
September soon became October, and the aspen in the surrounding foothills turned a bright gold, creating glorious color against the dark pine trees. An empty feeling prevailed over the ranch as November moved in. Even the aspen seemed to reflect the mood, becoming empty and bare as heavy snows blanketed the magnificent peaks in the higher mountains.
Ranch hands took on the chores of storing feed, and Lloyd was compelled to travel to Boulder to use some of the Pinkerton reward money to buy that extra feed. It was a long trip there and back, and heavy snow slowed them down, but he made it back to the ranch. Sometimes it felt as though something were eating up his insides. His soul felt as desolate as the winter winds and the lifeless terrain.
His third child with Katie was born late December, a son they named Jeffrey Peter, after the two men who’d become such an important part of the family’s life. Family was his only reason for hanging on, and it was the same for Evie, whose husband remained her rock, along with her faith. By the time Jeffrey Peter was born, Evie was pregnant again. New babies helped them to understand that life goes on. Jake Harkner lived on, his blood running in the veins of the grandchildren.
But Randy was not quite the same and probably never would be. The hardest part of all was not even having a body to bury. She never slept upstairs again, and the line shack she and Jake had loved to visit sat unused. The woman seemed a mere shell of herself. She seldom smiled, pressing on only for the sake of the grandchildren.
Christmas passed with only light gift-giving, and then only homemade dolls and clothing for the little girls. The older boys weren’t in the mood for giving or getting gifts. They only brought in a small tree and didn’t decorate it as heavily as normal. The family struggled to make it a merry Christmas for the smallest children, but none of the adults nor the older boys felt the normal Christmas joy.
January came and went. February brought spring snows that would melt with the sun and then return. Horse Creek began to swell from snowmelt higher in the Rockies, and it came time for searching the sprawling J&L rangeland for cattle that managed to survive the winter. Soon they would have a full roundup and start sorting and branding the calves.
Randy kept herself busy baking extra bread for the men to take with them as they scattered throughout the rangeland and camped for days at a time. Several loaves sat on the table the morning it happened. It was one of those Sundays when the whole family sat around the big kitchen table for breakfast. Randy was still in her stocking feet when she heard it.
The whistle.
She’d been ready to set a plate on the table.
She dropped it.
The plate crashed to the floor.
“Mother?” Evie rose. “What’s wrong?”
“Jake! Did you hear it? That whistle?”
“Mom, the men are coming in and out all the time. Sometimes they shout and whistle.”
There it was again! This time, Evie gasped. She remembered that whistle…the morning her father had come to rescue her at Dune Hollow. It was the same whistle he used to give when he came into Guthrie with outlaws in tow, signaling Randy he was back home. She knew instantly she was safe. Jake had come.
Randy charged out the front door.
“Mom, you don’t even have any shoes on!” Lloyd yelled, running after her.
“And no coat!” Evie hollered.
Too late. Randy was off and running in stockinged feet through snow a good eighteen inches deep.
Four of the men came charging down the hill toward the houses, all of them whistling and whooping and shouting and yipping until the sound filled the sky.
“Jake’s back!”
“Mother!” Evie started after Randy.
Lloyd grabbed her arm. “Leave her be, sis.”
By then the whole family was out on the veranda, even the littlest ones, no coats or boots and not feeling a thing. Sadie Mae jumped up and down. “Grampa! Grampa!”
There came more whistles and shouts when men came tearing out of the bunkhouse, some of them standing there in only their long johns.
Little Jake—whom everyone now called “just Jake”—moved beside his father and started crying. Brian put an arm around him. Evie looked up at Lloyd, and Lloyd pulled her into his arms.
“My God, he’s alive,” he wept into his sister’s hair.
; And Randy kept running. She fell twice. She didn’t feel the cold snow at all. She just ran. Jake kicked his horse into a faster run and climbed off it before it even came to a halt.
“Evie, he’s limping,” Lloyd said.
Evie let go of him and watched. “But he’s alive! Dear God in heaven, he’s alive!”
Randy left all of them behind. She reached Jake, and there was nothing to say. He grabbed her up and turned with her, keeping her feet off the ground until he stepped wrong and they both fell into the snow.
“I have a bum leg, Randy,” he told her.
“Jake, just hold me! Hold me! Hold me! Nothing else matters! I knew you were alive! I knew it!”
They rolled over and over in the snow, until they were covered in white.
Jake buried his face in her hair, breathing deeply of its rose scent, then buried his face against her neck. “My God, I can’t believe you’re in my arms. For a long time I was sure I’d never hold you again.”
“Don’t let go, Jake!”
“I sure as hell won’t!” He breathed deeply of her familiar scent. “By God, you’ve been baking that bread, haven’t you? The best goddamn bread in the whole country. I can smell it on you.”
Randy couldn’t talk for her tears. Jake found her lips, and her mouth had never tasted so sweet.
For Randy, his kiss had never been so precious. For several minutes, they just lay in the snow, holding, touching, kissing, unable to speak until Randy finally found her voice again.
“Jake, how? When?”
“It’s a long story, mi querida esposa. An old Mexican man found me and took me to a cave where he lived. He was some kind of hermit, gave me food and water, a place to rest. But what really saved me was thinking about you…and my family…and little Sadie Mae and the chickens.”
More kisses. More tears.
“Chickens? Jake, what on earth—”
“I don’t want to talk about it now. I just want to look at you.” His eyes were wet with tears as he kissed her hair, her eyes, her lips, her throat. “I was so scared you’d give up if you thought I was dead. My God, you look so good, baby.” He wiped at tears, then used his thumbs to wipe away Randy’s tears. “It’s that promise I made that kept me going through the worst pain and blackness of my life. That promise that I’d come back.” He looked down at her, just then coming to his senses and realizing she wore no coat. “Randy, you’ll freeze to death!”
“I don’t feel it. I saw you coming, and I just started running. Oh, Jake, we searched for you. The Mexican authorities kept telling us you were dead, but I wouldn’t believe it. I wouldn’t believe it!”
“Terrel rode in with me. He told me Cole made it back, and Annie is all right.”
“Yes. Oh, Jake, Cole was so heartbroken. There is just so much to talk about. Little Jake won’t let us call him that anymore. It’s just Jake. And Katie had a baby—another boy. And Evie is pregnant again. And Cole has been visiting Gretta a lot. She closed her place and runs a rooming house now and—”
He cut her off with another kiss, a deep, long, warm kiss of a man hungry for much more. “We have so much catching up to do, so much to say. I found her, Randy. I found my mother’s grave and—”
“Cole told us, Jake. I’m so, so sorry you went through that alone.” They continued kissing over and over. Randy put her hands to his face. “Let me look at you.”
Jake smiled as she ran her hands over his face and into his hair. “Jake, you look the same, but you’re so much thinner.”
“That bread and your homemade pies will fatten me up soon enough.” He pushed some of the hair off her face. “Tell me you didn’t starve yourself like last winter. You look thin, baby, but not as bad as then.”
“I’ve been eating as best I can. The children made me eat.”
Jake sobered. “They whipped me, Randy, as bad as a man can be whipped. My back is worse than before. Scar tissue doesn’t heal easily. It took weeks for the skin to close up. And the pain… I forced myself to think about you. I saw your face. I heard your voice. I saw you walking to greet me, like you used to do back in Guthrie.”
“Oh, Jake, I heard your voice. And I felt you with me. I felt it when you were in pain. I can’t imagine how awful it must have been for you.”
“And I broke my leg. Outlaw fell on it. They refused to set the bone. The old Mexican man wanted to cut it off, but I wouldn’t let him. I have a limp, Randy—”
“Jake, it’s all right. You’re alive, and you’re back home on the J&L. Brian can help you.” She grasped his face in her hands again and lay still to look at him. “And you still have that smile that melts my heart.” She shivered with new tears. “And just look at you! You’re still my handsome Jake. I’ll feed you and nurse you and you’ll heal even more, Jake. We’ll get you completely well and—”
“Do you even know how beautiful you are?” he interrupted her. “In all our years together, you’ve never looked more beautiful.” He ran his hands over her body, as though to prove to himself she was really in his arms. Again he showered her with kisses. “There were moments when I feared I’d never get to touch you again, hear your voice, hold you in my arms.”
“It was the same for me, Jake.” She hugged him around the neck again.
Jake kissed her neck again, her lips. “Let’s get you out of this snow.” He sat up and removed his wool jacket and put it around her. Yes, he was thinner, but still solid and strong…the same broad shoulders and the same solid arms, the same dark eyes and that smile…that smile…
“I want to spend about a month with you up at the line shack,” he told her. “Just you and me and the wolves and the bears and the wind and—” His voice broke.
“My darling, Jake, I want the same. But first you need to rest…truly rest…for as long as it takes to get all your strength back. I’ll fatten you up again on that bread. And right now there is a big, beautiful family waiting for you down at the house. I want to hog you all to myself, but they’ve all been so devastated. You need to go down there and let them see it’s really you and that their father and grandfather is alive.”
He pressed her close. “Tell me that peppermint stick is still on the nightstand.”
“It is. I never moved it.”
“You have no idea how badly I want to sleep in our own bed tonight. It will be like heaven.”
“And it will be heaven for me just having you there beside me.”
“Baby, I can’t stand on my leg for too long at a time yet.”
“It’s okay, Jake.”
“I don’t want to let go of you.”
“I don’t want to let go either, but we have to get you someplace warm, and Lloyd and Evie and all the grandkids are waiting to see you, Jake.”
Another long, delicious kiss. Jake managed to get to his feet. He helped Randy onto his horse, then grimaced as he mounted up behind her to ride down the hill to the homestead. Ben and the four bigger of his seven grandchildren literally tackled Jake when he dismounted, screaming and laughing but also crying. Jake fell back into the snow, and Brian and Randy helped pull them off.
“Hold up there! We don’t know if your grandpa is still hurting,” Brian warned them.
“I’m all right, Brian.”
Brian could see the man most certainly was not all right. Without even examining him or asking what had happened, he could tell Jake was in pain. God only knew what had happened to him, but he most certainly needed to get inside and get some rest. He couldn’t even get to his feet on his own. Brian reached out for him, and Jake grimaced a little as he got to his feet.
In the next second, Lloyd grabbed his father close. Father and son held each other for several long seconds. “Damn it, Pa, I should have been with you.”
“It’s okay, Lloyd. I’m damn glad you weren’t. You would have insisted on staying to help me, and you might have been killed
. I’m damn lucky to be alive.”
“We heard you, Pa,” Lloyd told him, his voice wavering as he continued to embrace Jake. “Me and Evie and Mom—we all heard you talk to us. We never fully believed you were dead.”
“God, I missed you, son. I missed all of you. I thought about giving up, but I couldn’t stand the thought of never seeing any of you again, or never holding your mother in my arms again.”
Jake finally let go of Lloyd. Both men had tears on their cheeks. Jake turned to Evie, crushing her close as she wept. “You did this, Evie. I knew you’d be praying for this worthless old man.”
“Oh, Daddy, God knows what a good man you are. That’s why He brought you back to us. You’re so loved, Daddy.”
Jake made the rounds, hugging every grandchild again, wiping at more tears, hugging Katie and the new baby. “By God, Katie, I think you get more beautiful with each new baby you have. At this rate, you’ll have fifteen more, because you just keep getting prettier.”
Katie blushed as Jake was herded into the house and peppered with questions while every family member cried and laughed and cried and laughed. Jake kept telling them it had been a long, tiring trip home, and he’d tell them everything after a good night’s sleep.
Cole rode in before Jake could make his way upstairs. He dismounted and charged into the house and up to Jake, embracing him.
“Jake, you tough sonofabitch,” he joked through tears. “Randy insisted you weren’t dead, but after what I saw them bastards do to you…” He pulled away for a moment, grasping Jake’s shoulders. “Don’t you ever, ever ask me to go with you for somethin’ like that again! Your son beat the hell out of me when I got home for showin’ up without you. I was wishin’ he’d just shoot me and get it over with.”
“My God, Cole, you did what you had to do. I never would have forgiven you if they’d got their hands on that girl. You did right, Cole.”
“Gretta and Annie are goin’ to be so happy to find out you made it home. They were devastated over this. Poor little Annie couldn’t get over what you did for her.”
The Last Outlaw Page 38