“Pfft, with whom? I’ve never dated seriously since we were allowed to date. It’s not like my knight in shining armor is someone I know.”
“But he is,” she says.
“Who are you talking about?”
“Ben, of course.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me, P. He’s not even speaking to me right now, and I can guarantee you, we’re not even close to being on the same page as you and Noah.”
“Why do you think that?”
I sigh and down my flute of champagne. “I think I slept with him and I don’t remember, and if I did, I might have been a total bitch to him the next morning.”
“Oh, Elle.” Peyton leaves her side of the plane and comes over to me, pulling me into her arms. I need this. I need to feel loved and worthy of someone else’s affection, whether it’s my sister or not. “We’ll fix this,” she whispers into my shoulder. I want to believe her, I do, but I fear Ben is too far gone, and I don’t really blame him.
14
Ben
“As I said in the ad and as you can see, the apartment is fully furnished.” The woman who answered my sublet ad continues to look around. In her response, she stated she was looking for a short-term rental until her boyfriend returned from his deployment. What I’m offering is exactly what she needs.
“Are your neighbors quiet?” June asks. She reminds me a bit of Elle except with blonde hair. Although I have a feeling, everyone is going to remind me of Elle if I look hard enough.
“They are. I have no complaints.” There’s an older couple on one side, and Elle and Quinn on the other. If Quinn is serious about curbing Elle’s partying, everything should be nice and quiet in this part of the complex. “There are a few college kids living here, but for the most part, they’re very respectable. My friend sometimes has her friends over to use the pool, but no one around here really parties.”
“Okay, that’s good. I start my job on Monday as a nurse, so I’ll have odd hours.”
“You remember that I’ll be back in ten weeks, right?”
“Yes,” she says. “Randy, my boyfriend, will be back in about eight. I think I’ll stay here and transition slowly into moving in with him.”
“Perfect.” There’s an awkward silence that falls over us. June moves from room to room looking over everything she can, including the size of my closet. Thankfully, I cleaned before she came over. Otherwise she might find something unmentionable on the floor. I show her where to find sheets and towels, as well as how to use the washing machine even though it’s probably pretty standard. “So, what do you think?” June is really my only hope. I didn’t get as many inquiries as I thought I would, mostly because I didn’t post the ad on campus. I didn’t want Elle to see the ad and ask me what I’m doing. As it is, I’ve had a hard time ignoring her, but it’s all for the best. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.
“I’ll take it.”
“Oh thank God,” I say, exhaling loudly. “Sorry, I was just worried—”
“No, no, I get it. Believe me, you’re helping me out too, so I think this will work perfectly. I have my stuff in the car, should I go get it?”
“Yeah, definitely. I’m just going to grab my things, and then the place is all yours.” I hand her my spare set of keys and watch her walk out of my… well, now her, place. Once the door shuts, I relax a bit. The only thing left on my to-do list is to get on the plane and actually go to New York. Most of my belongings have been packed for a few days, so now it’s a matter of actually leaving.
Pulling out my phone, I send a quick text to my brother, letting him know I’m ready to leave. Brad said he’d hang out in the area and wait for me to call. It was his idea for him to take me to the airport. I think he volunteered because he’s afraid I won’t get on the plane. He’s right because right now I’m second-guessing my decision. I know it’s the right one to make, but making it is a whole other step.
June returns with an armful of her belongings. I realize I should be helping and immediately go to her and offer my assistance. “Here, let me help.”
“I got this load.”
“Is there more in your car?” Of course, there is, Ben! What a stupid question.
“Yes, it’s the blue Beemer. Here are my keys.” June slightly turns to the side. Her keys are dangling from her backside. I grab them quickly and rush out the door and down the stairs. Every few seconds, I look over my shoulder for Elle or Quinn, hoping I don’t run into either of them. I’ve thought about telling Quinn, but I know he’ll tell Elle and right now I can’t deal with her reaction. It’s best I leave and do my thing, consequences be damned.
Although, there shouldn’t be any consequences. Elle should be happy for me. A true friend would encourage and congratulate someone in my position, and the fact that I think otherwise of Elle, proves we need a break from each other.
June’s car is easy to find. I pile as much as I can into my arms and head back upstairs. Inside, she has the curtains open, music playing and she’s already making herself feel at home.
“Thank you, Ben. I promise to take care of your place while you’re gone.” June relieves my arms of her belongings, tossing them onto the couch.
“You’re welcome. You have my number in case anything goes wrong, but it shouldn’t. The management company has your information so there shouldn’t be any problems there either.”
“Perfect. Enjoy your trip.”
I feel like I’ve just been kicked out of my apartment. I suppose in a sense I have. I nod, gather my stuff and walk out the door. I glance quickly at Elle’s door, wondering if she’s even home. As tempting as it is to knock, I don’t.
My brother’s waiting in the parking lot when I finally make it down the stairs and out of the complex. For whatever reason, it took me longer than normal. Maybe it’s because I’m still hesitant about my decision or maybe it’s because deep down, I want to say goodbye to Elle, to share my news, and know she’s happy for me.
“Get in the car.” Brad leans over the passenger seat and yells through the window. I do as he says, and no sooner do I shut the door, he’s peeling out of the parking lot like he’s being chased.
“Slow down.”
“Buckle up.”
Again, he’s my big brother, and I do what he says, but he’s laughing, and for the life of me I can’t figure out why. “What’s so funny?”
“You,” he says.
“Do you want to explain yourself?”
Brad shakes his head. “The look on your face when you saw my car, I thought for sure you were going to run back upstairs and profess your love for Elle.”
Sighing, I look out the window at the passing buildings and cars. “I thought about it, but no.”
“You need this, Ben. You’re better than the rest of us. You’re going to make all of us proud.”
“Thanks. Oh, by the way, I haven’t told Mom yet. I thought I’d call her from the top of the Empire State Building or something like that. Do you think she’ll want to come visit?” Once I left Beaumont and Brad followed, our mother sort of became a drifter. Not in the sense that she’s not taking care of herself, but more so that if a job transfer was up for grabs, she’d sign up, and would take whatever. After awhile, you start to lose track of where your mother’s living because she moves so much.
“Where is she these days?”
I shrug. “Delaware, maybe? Like I said, I’ll call her when I get to New York.” I would love to have the relationship Quinn, Elle, and Peyton have with their parents. I think Brad would too, but our mother has never been the type to stay in one spot. She gets bored and moves on. My father, while he made sure I had a college fund, has also been absent from my life. For the first few years he was around, but our relationship quickly became weekends, phone calls, and cards. When I entered high school, it was just cards. I suppose I could have a lot of resentment toward my parents, but I don’t. They just weren’t meant to be parents.
“Maybe I’ll come out and see you.” I look at Brad, wh
o has his eyes trained on the highway.
“You should. I’d like it if you did.”
Brad scoffs. “You say this now, but you’re going to get there and forget all about Los Angeles. Some socialite is going to set her eyes on you, and you’ll never come back here.”
“I highly doubt it.” Personally, I’ve had enough of the socialites.
“Maybe the girl next to you on the plane is a hottie, and you join the Mile High club.”
I laugh. “The last time I was on a plane and had to use the bathroom, I hit my head on the ceiling because we hit some turbulence. I plan to stay firmly in my seat.”
“A co-worker then. You’ll meet someone, and you’ll call me at the ass crack of dawn because you will have forgotten about the time difference, professing your love for whoever this woman is.”
“And you’ll mumble something I’ll never be able to decipher.”
“And the next thing I know, a wedding invite will be in the mail.”
“Brad, you’re sounding like a girlfriend I’m leaving behind.”
He laughs and signals to get off the highway. Anxiety starts to build as the looming airport grows closer.
“Which airline?”
“United,” I tell him quietly.
“You’re doing the right thing, Ben. This will be good for you.”
I hope. What if I get there and hate it? It’s not like I can leave and return to class. This quarter depends on this internship. If I screw up, graduation is in jeopardy. Brad finds a spot along the curb and pulls over. He hands me a white envelope.
“It’s not much, but maybe it’ll help. I did some research for you. There’s a corner store two blocks from your apartment, and the laundry mat is across from the store. The subway is three blocks in the opposite direction. Don’t splurge on anything unnecessary like Starbucks. Use the dollar menu whenever you can and eat ramen.”
I clench the envelope tightly in my hand. “Thank you. You didn’t have to.” He really didn’t, but I can’t embarrass him by telling him I’ll be paid while I’m there, plus I have the money from my work study and the stipend I get from my dad.
“Just be smart, Ben. Go out there and kick some ass.”
“I will.” We’re not an affectionate family, but right now I don’t care. I lean over the console and pull my brother into a hug. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t be going right now. I’m taking his advice and spreading my wings. Brad lets go, which is my signal to leave, and I get out of the car and grab my luggage. I don’t wave goodbye or even watch him pull away from the curb. However, I do send him a text, thank you.
Inside the airport, once I’m checked in, I open the envelope. My brother has given me a couple of hundred dollars, money I know he doesn’t have to spare, along with handwritten instructions on where everything is. As I read over his notes, tears prickle my eyes. I wipe them away quickly, not wanting anyone to see me crying or ask if I’m okay because I am, and Brad has made it as such. This gesture, the thought he’s put into making sure I’ll be okay in New York, means more to me than I’ll be able to tell him.
It’s two hours of waiting before my flight is called. I’m at the back of the plane, in the middle with two men on either side of me, with a chair that doesn’t recline. So much for joining the Mile High club on this flight, not that I ever would, but when Brad mentioned it, the thought did sound appealing. At least I’d have someone to talk to. The guy on my right is on his phone complaining about his wife, and the man on my left is already snoring. It’s going to be a long flight, but worth it.
15
Elle
After a long day at the beach, where Peyton and I laid under the cabana tent, watching families frolic in the sun, surf and build sand castles, we’re finally getting down to the business of planning her wedding.
“Okay, I bought this and figured we can use this to keep track of everything. Most importantly, samples, notes, what you like and dislike can go in here. Plus, here are all the brochures from the list of venues we talked about.”
Peyton slowly flips through the binder I created without saying anything. In fact, she’s been very quiet each time I’ve brought up the wedding, opting instead to go out to dinner, hit the casino, take a dip in the pool or sit on the beach. I’m starting to think something’s wrong and that the flowers Noah arranged for the plane were some sort of apology.
Without asking, I pull the notebook out from under her and close it, setting it aside. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” she states, turning her head slightly as if to indicate she doesn’t understand.
“I call BS, P. You’ve been distracted since we arrived. We’re on vacation. It’s our last spring break together.”
“And I’m enjoying myself.”
I reach for my sister’s hand and look at her adoringly. “Something’s bothering you. I can tell. Are you pregnant?” Peyton’s eyes widen. I smile, knowing I’ve uncovered her secret. “Eek, I’m going to be an auntie.”
Peyton pulls her hands away and shakes her head. “Sorry to disappoint you. I’m not pregnant.”
“Oh. Then what’s wrong because I feel like you’re not having fun.”
“I am, Elle. But I have something to tell you.”
I sit back in the booth and feel the blood drain from my face. “You broke up with Noah, didn’t you? I mean, he sent all those flowers because he loves you, but…” My hand covers my mouth. “Oh God, is Dessie back? I’ll kill her,” I say without thinking my words through.
Peyton smiles and shakes her head rapidly. “Oh hell no. And no, Noah and I didn’t break up, but we did decide to get married in Beaumont.” Peyton’s lips go into a fine line, and her eyes go wide. I let her news sink in, and while I’m upset, it’s a decision she and Noah have to make. It’s not my wedding.
“And you felt like you couldn’t tell me this?”
My sister shrugs. “You’ve been so excited about everything I didn’t want you to think I was ungrateful for all you’ve done so far. Getting married in Beaumont is something we feel very strongly about.”
I scoot closer so I can hug my sister. “It’s your wedding, P. You can get married at the courthouse for all I care, just as long as you get married.” Again, I’m speaking before I realize exactly what I’m saying. “What I’m saying is—”
“I know what you’re saying. Believe me, when I say this, everything with Noah is amazing. I didn’t know what happiness was until we finally got together. I mean, I always imagined what our lives would be like.”
“And does your imagination serve real-life justice?”
“Not even close. I love him, Elle. Right now, our lives are complicated, but we both work so hard to make things easy. When he’s in Chicago, he cooks and cleans so I can study, and when I’m in Portland, I do the same for him so he can focus on being the best quarterback in the league. We’re both exhausted at the end of the day but when I curl up in his arms, I know I’ve made the right decision.”
We hug again, and I fight back the happy tears I’m feeling. Seeing my sister so in love with the man of her dreams, fills me with hope. It gives me something to look forward to in the future. Not that there’s a man on my horizon, but someday, I’m hoping there will be.
I open the binder and flip to the flower section. “What do you want to do about flowers?”
“Hydrangeas are a must.”
“Yes, they are.” I write a quick note. “Do you have a florist in mind?” I glance at my sister.
“Aunt Josie is going to do them.”
“Oh.”
“No, don’t get the wrong idea. You and I are still picking everything out, but I figured it would be perfect for Whimsicality to do the flowers. They’re going to cater as well.”
“Aunt Josie has really turned her little flower shop into something amazing. I really miss it.”
“Me too. Do you remember working there?” Peyton asks.
I nod. “It was some of the best times.”
“The pay was horrible.”
Peyton and I both start laughing. We were paid under the table, and by today’s standards, the wage we were given would make our aunt look like a child laborer. However, none of us did it for money. We did it because we’re family and once we were in high school, it became a weekend hotspot, unless you count the water tower.
“Do you remember when Ben broke the bucket of dishes?” Peyton asks. My brows lift, and my mouth drops open as the memory floods my mind.
“The band was on tour and Ben was insistent that he help out Quinn. Ben had the take-charge attitude and would go to the café every day after school whether Josie needed him or not.”
“And she never turned him away.”
Shaking my head, I think about how Ben was always around when our dad was gone. Even though Quinn was there, Ben always made sure my mom didn’t need anything. Our mom, of course, loved having him around. Ben’s always fit in with my family, sometimes more than I have. I think once my parents find out Ben and I aren’t exactly on speaking terms, they’ll side with him because my behavior has been atrocious. Ben has put up with far more than he should’ve and frankly, should’ve stopped talking to me months ago. But, Ben Miller would never do something like that. It’s not in his nature so the fact that he has, really makes me wonder how badly I’ve screwed up. I wouldn’t even know where to begin to fix things with him.
The gentle touch of my sister’s hand on top of mine pulls me back to the present. “Where’d you go?” she asks.
“Just thinking about Ben,” I tell her. I know they talk and part of me is desperate to ask her if she knows anything, while the other half of me feels she doesn’t, or she would’ve said something by now. “Why don’t you call him?”
“I have.” I shrug. “My calls go to voicemail. When he answers my texts, they are one-word answers. I knock on his door, and there’s no answer. I go to the café where he works, and he’s not there. The last day I physically saw him was the Monday after his birthday. I don’t see him on campus, checking his mail, leaving for school, and believe me, I’ve been watching. Lurking in the shadows, waiting to corner him and demand he tell me what’s wrong.”
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