by Joanna Neil
‘Don’t even think about it, David,’ Brodie cut in sharply, perhaps with more force than he’d intended. His eyes narrowed on his brother. ‘I saw her first—way back when we were teenagers and now since she’s come back to the village. Besides, she deserves someone with more integrity and staying power than you possess.’
‘Oh yeah?’ David’s dark brows shot up. ‘And since when were you the man to offer those things? You—the man who never settles with one woman for more than a few months at a time. I don’t think so, bro. Get ready to move aside, man. Brother or no brother, this is a fair fight and Caity’s a jewel worth fighting for. This is war.’
‘Uh...do you two mind? Have you quite finished?’ Caitlin looked from one to the other, deciding it was time to butt in before things got out of hand. ‘I’ll decide what happens where I’m concerned, and right now neither of you is in the running. From my point of view, you’re probably both as bad as each other. So back off, both of you!’
David stared at her, looking reasonably chastened. ‘Sorry, Caity.’
He soon recovered, shaking himself down and saying cheerfully, ‘I think I’ll go and hunt out a bottle of something from Brodie’s bar, if that’s okay?’ He glanced enquiringly at his brother.
‘That’s fine.’
David left them, taking himself off into the house. Brodie looked back at Caitlin, a trace of amusement in his expression.
‘You were always one to speak your mind,’ he said. ‘I like that about you, Caitlin. It’s the barn incident all over again. You’ve never been prepared to put up with things you’re not happy about.’
His smile was crooked as he added softly, ‘Years ago, you told me we were a pair of hooligans on the rampage, David and me, not to be trusted. You weren’t ever going to date either one of us...me especially, you said.’ His face took on a sober expression. ‘No matter how hard I tried, you’d never let me persuade you otherwise.’
‘So the message was received and understood.’ She smiled at him as she took a long swallow of her drink.
‘Perfectly.’ He returned her gaze, his blue eyes glinting. ‘Of course, it’s always been out there between us as something of a challenge. I know you like me and there were times when you might have been tempted to go against your better judgement. You do realise, don’t you, that my feelings towards you have never changed?’
‘Oh, you can’t be sure about that,’ she said. Even as she tried to make less of it, a tingle of excitement ran through her. ‘It’s been a long time... Perhaps you only want what you can’t have.’
‘I don’t know, Caity. Perhaps you’re right. Things happened when I was a teenager, things that made me question who I am and what I could expect out of life. I always wanted you, that’s for sure. I just wasn’t certain that I deserved you. I still have doubts, but seeing you again has brought all those feelings back to the surface.’
The breath caught in her throat but she ran her finger idly around the rim of her glass to give herself time to think. Why would he feel he didn’t deserve her? Was it because of his behaviour back then, because it had been out of control?
Surely now, more than ever, she had to guard her heart against being hurt?
She said slowly, cautiously, ‘It isn’t going to happen, I’m afraid. I think we both know that. I’m totally off men right now. They’re far too fickle for my liking.’
‘Hmm.’ He studied her, taking in the faint droop of her soft, pink lips. ‘We’ll have to see about that.’
CHAPTER THREE
‘I KNOW IT’S going to be terribly difficult for you this afternoon,’ Caitlin’s mother said worriedly. She was sitting in a chair by her hospital bed; now she shifted uncomfortably, wincing at a twinge of pain in her hip.
‘Yes.’ Caitlin’s answer was brief. The day of the wedding had come around all too soon for her liking. Her emotions were all churned up inside her, though it wasn’t only the forthcoming nuptials that bothered her. A fortnight had gone by since her mother had first come into hospital and after a brief spell at home she had been readmitted. It was distressing.
‘Your aunt’s desperate for everything to go off smoothly. She’s been stressed about one thing and another for some time now.’ Her mother’s grey-blue eyes were troubled. She winced again, moving carefully as she tried to get comfortable. Small beads of perspiration had formed on her brow. ‘She keeps saying how you and Jenny used to be so close.’ She frowned. ‘I wish I could be there to give you some support.’
Caitlin nodded, acknowledging her anxieties. ‘I know.’ Soothingly, she dabbed her mother’s brow with a damp cloth. There was no way she could leave hospital, let alone go to her niece’s wedding.
Instead of making good progress in the last couple of weeks, a nasty infection had set in around the site of the surgical incision, causing her mother a lot of pain and discomfort. Caitlin was worried about her. The consultant had inserted tubes in the wound to try to drain away the infected matter but it was turning out to be a slow process. No one knew how the infection had started but Caitlin suspected it had crept in when the dressing was changed.
‘I’m pretty sure Jenny hasn’t told her family that Matt and I were already a couple when they met,’ she commented softly.
Her mother’s brows rose in startled disbelief. ‘Oh, you don’t think so? Heavens, that hadn’t occurred to me. It’s probably the general stress of the wedding that’s getting to her.’
Of course, if Caitlin didn’t turn up for the celebrations this afternoon, her aunt would soon realise something was badly amiss and would want to know what was going on, wouldn’t she? Caitlin felt more despondent than ever. Even more reason why she should go along to the event—yet all her instincts were clamouring for her to stay away.
She pushed her own problems to one side and sent her mother a quick, sympathetic look. ‘It’s rotten for you to be stuck in hospital today of all days. I know you were looking forward to seeing Aunty Anne and having a good chat—but she did say she would come and see you as soon as she could get away.’
‘Yes, I’ll look forward to that.’ Distracted momentarily, her mother patted the magazines that littered the bed. ‘At least I have plenty of reading material to keep me occupied in the meantime. Thank you for these.’ She smiled. ‘So how’s the new job going? It was good of Brodie to set you on, wasn’t it?’
‘It was...’ He’d been nothing but kind and helpful so far, but Caitlin couldn’t help but think he had an ulterior motive. Hadn’t he more or less said so that afternoon in his garden? He wanted to change her mind about men—and about him in particular. Could he do that? A tingle of alarm ran through her at the prospect. Of course he couldn’t. That would be unthinkable. Talk about jumping from the frying pan into the fire. When he’d left the village years ago, she’d tried to forget about him, put him from her mind. It had been far too upsetting to dwell on what might have been.
‘It’s going all right so far, I think,’ she said. ‘The unit runs very smoothly—everyone knows their job and we all seem to work well together. I’m sure a lot of it’s down to Brodie being in charge. He’s very organised and efficient, and extremely good with people. Somehow, he always manages to get them to do what he wants.’ It was remarkable how people responded to his innate charm.
Her mother nodded agreement. ‘I’m amazed how well he’s doing. Whoever would have guessed he’d turn his life around like that? I mean, I always liked him, but when he went so completely off the rails as a teenager it was upsetting. His poor mother didn’t know where to turn.’
‘Hmm.’ Brodie’s problems had started some time before his mother’s death and Caitlin had never been able to find out the root cause. ‘Maybe leaving the village was the making of him. He had no choice but to fend for himself, and I suppose that was bound to make a man of him. Of course,’ she added with a wry inflection, ‘Discovering he had an inheritance must have been a huge boost.’
Her mother nodded. ‘True, but he could have gone the other way, yo
u know, and squandered it. Instead, he put it to good use. I think he turned out all right. He seems to be a good man, now, anyway.’ She frowned. ‘Though I have heard he’s still restless, still can’t settle.’ She sighed then hesitated, sending Caitlin a quick look. ‘Does he mind that you keep coming up here to see me in the middle of your work?’
Caitlin shook her head. ‘No, not at all...in fact, he’s encouraged me to come to see you. He wants to know how you are. He’s very fond of you. Anyway, I use my break times to slip away from the unit, so there’s no real problem.’ She glanced at her watch and gave her mother a rueful smile. ‘In fact, I should be heading back there right now. I’ve a couple of small patients I need to see before I can go home.’
‘All right, love. You take care. I’ll see you later.’
‘Yes. Try to get some rest.’ Caitlin gave her a hug and hurriedly left the room.
Brodie was checking X-ray films on the computer when she returned to the children’s unit a few minutes later. He shot her a quick glance as she came over to the desk to pick up her patient’s file. ‘How is your mother?’
‘She’s not feeling too good at the moment, I’m afraid...though she’ll never complain.’ She pulled a face. ‘The site of the incision’s still infected and she’s feverish. The doctor’s prescribed a different course of antibiotics and some stronger painkillers, so all we can do now is wait and see how she goes on. This setback isn’t helping with her rehabilitation.’ She sighed. ‘It’s all been a bit of a blow. We were hoping she’d be able to come home in a couple of days’ time but that’s definitely not on the cards now.’
‘I imagine she’s upset about missing the wedding?’
‘Oh yes, that too.’ Her mouth made a crooked line. ‘I think she’s secretly hoping I’ll be her eyes and ears there. I imagine she’ll want to see a video of the highlights on my phone—though she won’t come out and ask.’
He smiled. ‘It would probably help her to feel better about not being there, but I’m sure she’s more concerned about your feelings.’
‘Mmm. Maybe.’ Even at this late stage Caitlin was desperately looking for a way out. Perhaps she could manufacture a sudden headache that would incapacitate her? Or maybe her car would develop an imaginary mechanical fault at the last minute?
Matt and Jenny were being married mid-afternoon, so as to accommodate relatives who were travelling from some distance away, and Caitlin was becoming more and more twitchy as the morning wore on. In a way, she was glad she’d chosen to come into work for a few hours to keep her from thinking too deeply about the situation. From when she’d woken earlier today, her whole body had been in a state of nervous tension.
She skim-read the notes in her four-year-old patient’s file. ‘I have to go and look in on the little boy who has pneumonia,’ she told Brodie. ‘I sent him for an X-ray before I went to see Mum and I’m hoping the results are back by now. He’s not at all well: breathing fast, high temperature... He’s on antibiotics and supplemental oxygen as well as steroid medication. Hopefully, it should all start to have an effect soon.’
‘You’re talking about Jason Miles?’ Brodie brought up the boy’s details on the computer. ‘Here we are. Radiology have sent the films through.’
Laying the file down on the table, she studied the images on screen and frowned. ‘That looks like an air-filled cyst on his lung, doesn’t it? No wonder he’s uncomfortable, poor little thing.’
‘It does. What do you plan to do?’
‘I’ll leave it alone for now—it’s best to avoid surgical intervention, I think. I’ll put him on intravenous cefuroxime and see if that will do the trick. As the pneumonia improves, the cyst should start to disappear.’
He nodded. ‘Good. I think you’re right. That’s probably the best course for now.’ He sent her a sideways glance. ‘Is he your last patient for today?’
‘I just want to look in on Sammy to see how his fractured bone is healing. He went home for a while, didn’t he, with a social worker overseeing things...but he’s back in today for a check-up?’ She frowned. ‘Do you still think the other earlier fractures are suspicious? I know the social worker pushed for police action and Sammy’s parents are distraught... They’re overwhelmed by all the accusations being laid at their door. They’re due to appear in court soon —he could be taken into foster care. Yet they do seem to be a genuine couple to me.’
He was silent for a moment or two, thinking it through. ‘You could be right about the parents. I’ve spoken to them about taking extra precautions with him, though they insisted they were already being really careful.’ His brow creased. ‘I’m beginning to wonder if we aren’t dealing with some underlying disease that could cause the bones to fracture more easily than most. I think we should get a blood sample for DNA testing along with a small skin biopsy and send them off to the lab. We’ll need to keep an eye on the boy in the meantime—have him seen in the clinic on a regular basis.’
‘Okay. I can set that up before I leave.’
‘Good.’ He leaned back in his chair and studied her. ‘So, I’ll come and pick you up after lunch, shall I—around two-thirty? Then we’ll head off to the church?’
‘Um...’ She ought to have been expecting it but the reminder still caught her off guard. ‘I...um...well, you know, I was thinking... It might be embarrassing for Jenny to have me there. I know her mother dealt with a lot of the invitations, so I’m not necessarily Jenny’s choice as a guest.’
She wriggled her shoulders slightly. ‘Perhaps it would be for the best if I were to send a message to say something’s cropped up—an emergency at the hospital or some such. I mean, it’s true, isn’t it? Jason’s very poorly—maybe I should come back here to keep an eye on him?’
He shook his head, his mouth quirking a fraction. ‘You know that won’t work, Caitlin, don’t you? You’re not an emergency doctor and we have people here who will take excellent care of him. You’re trying to find excuses, when instead perhaps you should be facing up to things. You need to deal with this, once and for all, instead of running away.’
Her grey eyes narrowed on him. Coming on top of all her worry and apprehension, his comment seemed a bit like a reprimand.
‘Are you saying I’m a coward?’ After everything she’d been through, the thought irritated her, and she reacted in self-defence. ‘Why should I be the one who has to suffer? They’re in the wrong. Why do I have to pay the price for what they did?’
‘Because you won’t be able to live with yourself if you don’t,’ he said in a matter-of-fact tone. ‘Sooner or later, you have to face up to the fact that it’s over between you and Matt. He’s in love with someone else. See it and believe it. Isn’t that what you’re running away from? The truth?’
‘How can you be so heartless?’ Her voice broke and she stared at him, frustration welling up inside her. ‘Do you have no feelings? Is that all relationships are to you—off with the old and on with the new?’ A muscle flicked in his jaw but he remained silent and she went on. ‘What about the aftermath? It’s so easy for you to shrug things off, isn’t it?’
Resentment grew in her and all her past dealings with him came bubbling up to the surface. ‘No wonder Beth was so hurt when you finished things with her. You didn’t care too much, though, did you? Not deep down. As far as you were concerned it was just one of those things that happened from time to time. You changed your mind about her, didn’t like getting in too deep, and decided to call a halt. It didn’t matter to you how she felt, did it? You were ready to move on and you weren’t about to look back.’ She stared at him. ‘How could I ever have believed you might have changed?’
‘So this is all about me, now, is it?’ His dark brows lifted. ‘I don’t think you can get out of it that easily, Caitlin, by turning everything around. You’re the one who has the problem and the best way you can deal with it is to put on a brave face and go to the wedding.’ His voice softened a little. ‘I’ll be there with you,’ he said coaxingly. ‘Show Matt you�
�ve found someone else, that it doesn’t matter what he’s done—that you and I are a couple, if that will make you feel any better.’
She looked at him aghast. ‘You think I can do that with you—pretend that we’re together, that we care about each other?’ She gritted the words out between her teeth. ‘I don’t think so, Brodie. I’m not that much of an actress.’
To her surprise, he flinched, his head going back a fraction at her sharp retort. Obviously her dart had struck home.
‘Is it such an alien concept? I’m sorry you feel that way,’ he said quietly. ‘Finding you after all this time, I was hoping we might be able to put the past behind us and move on, get to know one another all over again. I’ve always had feelings for you, Caitlin, and I thought this might be a chance for us to get together.’
Still upset, she said tautly, ‘Did you? That’s unfortunate, because it isn’t very likely to happen. We’re all out of fairy godmothers right now.’
She picked up Jason’s file from the table and walked away from him. For her own peace of mind, she needed to put some distance between them. Her nerves were stretched to the limit. Deep down, though, she knew she’d gone too far, knew she’d said too much.
As she drove home some time later, she warred with herself over the way she’d behaved, over what she ought to do. Through it all she was still trying to find ways out of the mess she was in. How could she get out of going to this wretched wedding?
Back at home, it was some time before she could bring herself to admit that maybe Brodie was right. She couldn’t keep running forever, could she?
She fed the hens and tried to think things through as she scattered corn and dropped a couple of carrots into the rabbit’s run. By now the geese had learned to accept her and were grateful for a bucket of greens and a bowl of food pellets.
Why was she so convinced she could bury her feelings by pushing them aside, by hiding them away? Matt was marrying someone else. He didn’t love her any more. Perhaps he’d never truly loved her because, if he had, surely this would never have happened? What was it Brodie had said? Was he looking to get out of the relationship? Perhaps Matt hadn’t been consciously looking but somewhere a chink had opened up in the wall and opportunity had crept in.