by Joanna Neil
She gulped in a quick breath. ‘I don’t want to choose, Brodie, and I don’t want to persuade you to do something against your best interests. You’re the one who has to decide. Stay or go.’ She pressed her lips together briefly to stop them from trembling. ‘I’ve made my decision, for good or bad, and I’ll live with it.’
CHAPTER EIGHT
‘HOW DID YOU get on in London this weekend?’ Cathy was keen to know how Brodie and Caitlin had fared when he’d gone to meet his father for the first time.
‘It went well, on the whole,’ Caitlin answered. ‘But I think Brodie found it all a bit strange.’ As she finished writing up the prescription for Jason’s medication, she glanced across the desk at the nurse. ‘He said he didn’t expect to feel quite the way he did. It was a bit overwhelming.’
‘I can imagine it would be. After all, from what I’ve heard, his natural father is a complete stranger to him. He didn’t know anything about him, his life or his relationship with his mother. Brodie said it was like a bolt from the blue, learning that he was around and that he wanted to meet him.’
Caitlin nodded, handing her the prescription. Young Jason was finally being discharged from hospital today and the medication was to tide him over until his GP saw him next. The little boy was doing really well now, gaining in strength every day. She was glad to see him going home but she would miss him, she acknowledged. Sammy too, was being allowed home on a new regime of medication to help strengthen his bones. He was another one she would miss—he’d started to come out of his shell and was a favourite with all the staff.
‘It’s true,’ she said now, thinking about Brodie and his new family. ‘He didn’t know they existed. I’m not sure what he expected, really, going to see them... I don’t think he knew himself what might come of it but for a first meeting it turned out better than he imagined. We met his father in a pub to start with, so that we could talk in private.’
His natural father had been astonished to find that he had a son he knew nothing about. Brodie’s mother had apparently said nothing to him, probably thinking he wouldn’t want to know, but he was horrified to learn that she’d kept her pregnancy to herself. He would have stood by her and his son, he’d said.
But Caitlin didn’t say any of that to Cathy. It seemed too private, too personal, and it was up to Brodie if he wanted to share that with anyone else. ‘Anyway, then he took us to his house and we had a meal together—the whole extended family. It was...surreal.’
They’d all got on well together. His half-brother and half-sister especially had encouraged him to accept the promotion he’d been offered and go to live closer to them so they could keep in touch regularly. Even so, Caitlin still didn’t know what he planned to do.
He seemed to be keeping his options open and, much as she longed for him to stay here in Ashley Vale with her, she couldn’t blame him for looking further afield. He’d always worked hard to succeed—everything he did was designed to further his career—and it looked as though his efforts were paying dividends.
‘Are we ready for the little girl?’ Brodie strode briskly into the children’s unit and checked his watch. A twelve-month-old girl was being brought in from the hospital where Caitlin used to work for specialist treatment. ‘She’ll be here in about ten minutes.’
Caitlin nodded. ‘We’re all set.’ Cathy left them, hurrying over to the pharmacy to get Jason’s prescription filled.
‘Good. I want this transfer to go smoothly. If it all goes well she’ll be able to have the operation tomorrow morning.’ He glanced at her, his dark eyes brooding. ‘Are you okay with everything? You’re prepared?’
‘You mean because it’s Matt who’s bringing her here?’
‘Yes, that’s what I mean.’ His tone was unusually curt.
‘Of course. You don’t need to worry, Brodie, I’ll be fine.’ She frowned. ‘Look, I know you must have things you need to do, meetings to go to and so on... You can leave everything to me. There won’t be a problem. Matt and I are both professionals, after all.’
‘Hmm.’ His mouth flattened. ‘That isn’t exactly what’s bothering me. I think you know that.’
‘I told you, I’m over him.’ She didn’t try to argue the point any more. This was a difficult time for Brodie, she recognised that; if he was unusually tense right now it was probably to be expected. His mood wouldn’t have darkened simply because of Matt’s impending arrival, would it? Matt was his friend and they kept in fairly regular contact with one another. They must have smoothed things over with one another by now.
No, his taut, preoccupied manner surely had more to do with discovering the existence of his real father after all these years of believing it would never happen. It had been a profound experience for him and it was bound to be unsettling.
For now, whatever state their emotions were in, they had to put all that to one side and concentrate on their work. The tot who would be arriving here any minute now had been suffering from symptoms of chest pain, bouts of fainting and shortness of breath. After specialised tests she’d been diagnosed with a narrowing of the pulmonary valve in her heart. This narrowing was causing a problem with the flow of blood to her lungs.
‘They’re here.’ Caitlin heard the faint clatter of a trolley and hurried to meet her new small patient. Greeting Matt with a brief nod, she concentrated her attention on the baby. Connected up to various monitors that recorded her heart rhythm, respiration and blood oxygen, she was wheeled in to the ward and between them Caitlin, Brodie and Matt set about transferring the child to her new temporary home. She was a tiny, vulnerable little thing, and Caitlin wanted to pick her up and cuddle her. ‘Hello, Emily,’ she said softly. ‘We’re going to look after you now. We’ll make sure you’re going to be absolutely fine.’
‘Her parents followed us here,’ Matt said. ‘They should arrive within a few minutes.’
Brodie nodded, acknowledging his friend and listening as he outlined her condition. ‘We’ll do what we can to get her settled and then I’ll go and talk to the parents. It’s a straightforward procedure she’ll undergo tomorrow, a balloon valvuloplasty; she should be fine afterwards.’
Matt agreed. This hospital was a centre of excellence for catheterisation procedures; if everything went well and her vital signs were satisfactory the little girl would have treatment to widen the valve. Afterwards she should be able to live a normal life. There wouldn’t even be much of a scar, because the catheter would be inserted in a vein at the top of the infant’s leg and the thin tube would then be passed up to the heart. Once there, a balloon would be inflated to widen the valve. When that was done to the surgeon’s satisfaction, the balloon would be deflated and would be removed along with the tube.
Brodie supervised the infant’s admission to hospital but, once Caitlin had sorted out the baby’s medication, he left the ward and went in search of the parents.
Caitlin saw him glance back once briefly in her direction—that same dark, brooding look in his eyes that she’d seen earlier—but then he continued swiftly on his way. It occurred to her at that moment that she hadn’t realised quite how much Brodie kept his feelings locked up inside him. Perhaps the relationship she’d shared with Matt was one more seed of doubt that made him feel unworthy in some way. Maybe she ought to try to do something to get him to open up to her more.
‘I heard your mother was back home after the problems with her hip and the emboli in her lungs,’ Matt said, walking with her to the cafeteria a short time later. The paramedics who had accompanied the child were in there, taking a break before the journey home. ‘How is she?’
‘She’s feeling much better, thanks.’ Caitlin smiled, amazed at how relaxed she was in his company. ‘She’s using crutches to get about at the moment, and she has physiotherapy every day, but she seems to be doing very well. She’s determined to get out and about to see to the animals and so on, so at the moment I’m having to make sure she doesn’t overdo things. Of course, the puppies keep us on our toes. They’
re into everything.’
‘I heard about the new additions to the menagerie. She’ll be in her element.’
‘Oh yes, she is. She’s even contemplating keeping a couple of the puppies, though we’ve managed to find people who want to take care of them when they’re old enough to leave their mother.’
‘Well, if she’s taking a keen interest in things it sounds as though she’s going to be all right in the long run. We were worried when she didn’t make it to the wedding.’
Caitlin nodded. She expected to feel a pang of dismay at the mention of the big event, but nothing happened, and she felt an immense lightening of her spirits. ‘Yes, it was difficult for her.’ She glanced at him. ‘I thought it all went off very well.’
‘Yes, it did.’ He bought two coffees and a couple of buns and started to carry the tray over to the table where the paramedics were seated. ‘I’m glad you came along on the day,’ he told her as they walked across the room. ‘I was worried about you. I know I treated you badly...but things just sort of slid out of my control.’
‘I know. It doesn’t matter. Forget about it.’
‘Are you sure?’ He studied her, his expression solemn. ‘Do you forgive me?’
‘I do. It’s all water under the bridge. I hope you and Jenny will be very happy together.’ She meant it. It was as though a weight had been lifted off her.
He smiled. ‘Thanks, Caity. I think I needed to hear you say that.’ He pulled out a chair for her and said quietly, ‘Brodie’s been telling me what a fool I’ve been and how badly I treated you. I knew it, of course. I hated what I was doing to you and I hated that it was ruining my friendship with Brodie.’
‘He’s had a lot on his mind this last week or so. I wouldn’t worry about it too much.’
‘I don’t know about that. He seems okay, but he’s had a problem with me for quite some time. It just got worse recently.’
She frowned. ‘I think he was jealous at first because you were with me, and then he was worried because he thought I was hurt.’
He nodded. ‘I thought it might be something like that.’
She smiled as they approached the table. ‘You’ve always been good friends. I’m sure things will be fine between you from now on.’
They sat opposite one another and chatted for a while, sharing the conversation with the paramedics, who were already well acquainted with Caitlin from her time at St Luke’s.
After a while, Caitlin’s pager bleeped and she made her apologies. ‘I have to go and check up on a patient,’ she said. ‘I’m sure I’ll see you all again before too long. Take care.’
She hurried along to the ward to look in on the youngster who had some time ago suffered an allergic reaction to penicillin. ‘How are you doing, Janine?’ she asked the five-year-old. ‘Nurse tells me you’ve been feeling a bit breathless?’
Janine nodded. ‘My chest feels a bit tight.’
‘Okay, sweetheart. I’ll have a listen, shall I?’ Caitlin ran her stethoscope over the little girl’s chest then went over to the computer at the desk and brought up her recent X-rays on the screen. They’d been done that morning to see if the infection was clearing.
‘I think we’ll give you some extra medicine,’ she said, returning to the child’s bedside after a while. ‘Something you can breathe in to make your chest feel better.’
‘All right.’ The girl settled back against her pillows while the nurse went to sort out the new medication.
Brodie met Caitlin at the entrance to the patients’ bay. ‘Is there a problem?’ he asked.
‘It looks as though she has a bit of scarring on the lungs from the recent infection. I’ll ask the physio to come and show her how to clear her chest and do breathing exercises. As long as she has antibiotic treatment for recurrent infections she should be okay.’
He nodded. ‘So how did it go with Matt?’ he asked. ‘I thought you might still be with him, catching up on things.’
‘No, I left him in the cafeteria when I was bleeped. Haven’t you spoken to him?’ She was surprised. ‘I’d have thought he would have caught up with you again before he left.’
‘I’m sure he will but he’s not likely to tell me how he left things with you, is he?’
‘Things are the same as they ever were,’ she told him. Her gaze was thoughtful. His self-doubt was coming to the fore once again. ‘I think you worry too much. He’s married now and he only has eyes for Jenny. But you know that, don’t you?’
‘It’s your feelings towards him that concern me,’ he answered, but his pager bleeped before he had time to say any more. He checked the text message and immediately became businesslike. ‘I have to go and assess a new patient.’
‘Okay.’ It was nearing the end of her shift and she said quickly, ‘Will I see you back at the house tonight? You could come to supper if you like?’
He frowned. ‘Thanks but I’m not sure if I can make it—I promised Dad I’d go and see him at Mill House. He seems to be anxious to put things on a better footing between us lately.’ He lifted a dark brow. ‘I guess you were right about him all along. He’s fighting his own demons.’
She was disappointed she wouldn’t be seeing him but she tried not to let it show. If he’d wanted to spend time with her, he would have found a way, wouldn’t he? ‘That’s fine,’ she said, trying to inject a note of nonchalance into her voice. ‘I’m glad you and he are getting on better. When all’s said and done, he’s the one who brought you up. There must have been good times as well as bad.’
‘Yes, there were. I think my memories were coloured by the way I found out he wasn’t my real father and by the way he acted towards me when Mum died. He was angry and then he shut me out. I suppose that spurred me on to rebel against him all the more. We were both hurting and we lashed out at one another.’
She reached out and lightly touched his arm. ‘I hope you can work things out between you.’
He made a wry face. ‘I think we will. We’re both up for it, now that we’ve finally squared up to the truth and realised our shortcomings.’
‘Good luck, then.’
‘Thanks, Caity.’
Caitlin finished her shift, checking on all her young charges and making sure they were comfortable and happy before she left the hospital.
Then she drove home, taking a route through town and along the country lanes, letting the quiet beauty of the Chilterns soothe her. She wanted to spend time with Brodie but, if he preferred to stay away, what could she do? Maybe she would have to get used to the idea that he wouldn’t be around for much longer. David had already gone back to London. Was Brodie planning on joining him there in a few months’ time?
‘Sorry to love you and leave you, Caitlin,’ her mother said shortly after she arrived home. A car horn sounded outside on the drive. ‘My friend’s arrived to take me to the book club meeting—did you remember it was on for tonight?’
‘I remembered, Mum. Enjoy yourself.’
‘I will. You’ll get yourself something to eat, won’t you? Because I’ll be eating at Freda’s house. There’s the makings of a ploughman’s lunch in the fridge and I made a batch of scones earlier. You could have them with some of that strawberry preserve.’
‘Thanks, Mum. Don’t worry about me. I’ll have a shower and change and then I’ll sort something out.’
‘Good.’ Her mother looked at her closely. ‘You’re looking a bit peaky. I hope you’re not coming down with something.’
‘I’m fine, really.’
‘Hmm.’ Her mother wasn’t convinced. ‘Is it Brodie? Is he the problem?’ She frowned. ‘I wish you and he could sort yourselves out. I thought when he bought the house next door he was all for settling down—but now that’s all up in the air again with this job in London on the cards.’
Caitlin flicked her a glance. ‘He told you about it?’
‘Oh, yes. He said it’s a fantastic opportunity. They’ve told him he can have carte blanche to make changes and there’s even an executive house tha
t goes with the job.’
Caitlin’s heart sank. It sounded too good to be true and he was obviously impressed with the terms of the contract. Why would he even think of turning it down?
After her mother left with her friend, Caitlin showered and changed into jeans and a fresh, pretty top, then took Daisy for a walk along the quiet lane by the house. The terrier was happy to be out and about, fully restored to health with a shining, shaggy coat. She explored the grass verges, her tail wagging the whole time. Caitlin let her sniff and forage for a while, until finally she said, ‘Come on, then, Daisy. It’s time we were heading for home. I expect the puppies will be wanting their mum back.’
Daisy eagerly started back along the lane. She was unusually happy to hurry home and Caitlin had no idea what had brought about that enthusiasm until they rounded a bend in the road and saw a lone figure up ahead. He was coming towards them.
‘Brodie?’ Caitlin’s eyes widened. ‘I thought you’d be up at Mill House.’
He walked towards her, long and lean; his body was supple, his legs clad in dark chinos, his shirt open at the collar. ‘Hi there. Yes, I was. I talked to Dad for a while and then told him I had an invitation for supper at your place. He seemed to think I should take you up on it.’
‘And you were okay with that?’
‘Oh, yes. I told him I was hoping he’d say that.’
She laughed, letting Daisy off the lead now that they were close to home. ‘You got on well with him, then?’
‘Yes, it was good. I think we smoothed a lot of things out. We’ll be okay.’
The dog ran up to him, fussing around him delightedly, rapturous at finding her favourite person in all the world so near at hand, and Brodie stroked her silky head in return. ‘I thought I’d find you both out on a walk along here,’ he said.