by Leah Banicki
"I just want to understand why I want to be near you. Why I am drawn to you?" He was still holding her hand and stroking it slowly with his thumb, driving her nerve endings to a slow roar inside her head.
"I feel the same Lucas, but what about Sarah Ballentine?" He had a pained look and stopped the torture to her hand.
"I never felt this way for her. She was pretty and pleasant. I was at Yale and she was taking courses in a sister school nearby. I was in the orchestra and so was she. Sarah sought me out. She was constantly around and a friend of hers finally forced the issue by telling me she was interested. Once I graduated it seemed like the next step was to get married. She said ‘yes’ but then, once I told her I was going to farm out west, she changed. I hope the best for her but I am certain that our engagement is all but over." Lucas gave Corinne a boyish smile that completely made her forget what she was going to say. Nearby there was a sound that drew their attention.
A 'kip-kip' sound echoed through the dark night, it resembled an animal noise but wasn’t. Whistles followed it and a strange hush fell over the camp.
Without knowing why Corinne's heart did that jump that could not be explained but just a certain knowing that danger was near. She glanced at Lucas and felt the grip on his hand loosen but then his arm was around her shoulders protectively. His face a wash of the same feelings she felt just then, an unknown fear.
Clive broke through the darkness slowly, his face was serious and his body tensely listening. He leaned in close to them.
"It's the Blackfeet, they have been threatening to raid for months over the buffalo hunting grounds. Lucas, get her out, they cannot find her, or you, here. There is a great rock just on the north side of the camp. There is a deep crevice. You can hide there. Don't come out until it's quiet. Keep her safe."
Lucas and Corinne were on the move as Clive disappeared into the darkness. The kip-kip sound continued but Corinne was nearly oblivious to it. Fear was pounding in her ears. This could not be happening. They ran by her tent and with a second to think she broke her grasp with Lucas's hand, ran into her tent, and grabbed her saddlebag. Her mother's journal was in there. She would not lose it in a savage battle over hunting rights!
"Cori, where did you go?" Lucas said in a savage whisper. She clasped his hand wordlessly and he pulled her along. Her eyes were still adjusting to the blackness after staring at the fire so long; she was having little luck seeing anything. Her inner compass was aware that the river was around this area. Not wanting to spend the evening shivering, she whispered.
"Be careful, the river."
They moved quickly weaving through the village. The small fires were down to burning embers that gave off a little light. Corinne tried to keep her eyes off the embers as to not ruin what little night vision she had left.
The last tepee was soon a hundred yards back. They moved slowly now with no moon to guide them along. Corinne thought about Angela stumbling through the dark then tumbling into a ravine. In this flat terrain it was unlikely. She could easily trip though.
They stop; Corinne reaches with her own free hand and felt the barrier of rock.
"Cori, this way." They scooted to the left, and then felt the edge turn. They nearly tripped on low brambles twenty times before they came to the crevice. It seemed wide enough for them both and they cautiously moved into the depths of this enormous boulder. It was clean and quiet and they sat down in the middle as it opened up to a small flat area. There was a pit for a fire there but fear made them cautious. Lucas sat with his back against the opening and pulled Corinne next to him. The night air wasn’t cold but the chill of the situation drew them closer.
The silent night was broken by savage screams, whether in pain or to terrify they worked on Corinne. Her fear broke her down and she began to weep quietly, holding her hands over her face.
"Cori, be calm. The Shoshone have many great warriors. This fight will not last long." Lucas held her as she calmed herself, his chest catching any wayward tears as she slowly stopped crying. They sat this way and tried not to listen to the haunting sounds of battle. The grunting and yelling muffled through the rock.
"Why did Clive say they cannot find me here?" Corinne asked softly to distract herself from the sounds of battle.
"Cori, you are far too precious to end up captured in a Blackfeet war party. All I can do now is pray and keep you safe. Thankfully we got out of the village before anything could happen to you." He held her face with a strong hand and gave her a quick blind kiss that penetrated her heart. It was over fast but she thought about it for several minutes. On this dark night he had shared much with her, his protection, his feelings and even a kiss.
As she sat in the dark listening to the sounds of war dying off she was thankful for the quiet company of Lucas. He was a steady strength when she needed him. She knew her feelings were new and unknown, but another part of her felt he was solid and already tied to her in some way. She didn’t know how to continue the talk they had started tonight but she would find the right place and time somehow. She was certain that she wanted to go slowly. She thought of Andrew and how the day they married the relationship started sour and continued until that last day.
The sound of hoof beats came and went and it made Corinne think that the Blackfeet had gone. They sat still and waited. There was no need to act hastily and draw attention from anyone if there was still danger lurking around, and with the night air beginning to cool down staying still within Lucas’ arms seemed warm and safe. Corinne smiled to herself a little whenever he moved in closer.
The sound of far off footsteps caught their attention. They both tensed and listened harder.
"Lucas, it's safe to come out, or you can wait, I'm bringing a lantern." Clive's voice calmed the tension out of their shoulders. Lucas helped her stand. They heard Clive shuffling around outside then saw the light from the lantern coming closer through the cleft. He was within the circle in a few moments. With the lantern they could see the inside of the boulder. It was an interesting place, this natural formation created a little hollow place. As they suspected there was a fire pit and it also had a place on the wall to place treasures.
"Clive, are you hurt in any way?' Corinne's voice was quiet and shaken. Her hands were on him as soon as he was near enough, checking for any sign of injury.
"A few scratches, no need to worry Corinne. However a few others did get more than scratches. The Blackfoot party was not a large one. They just seemed intent on stealing horses and today's buffalo kill. Two young warriors had the worst injuries. I am hoping they will allow you to take a look, maybe you can prevent infection." Clive pulled Corinne into an embrace to calm her fear.
"The battle was short, as you heard I'm sure. The Shoshone warriors have the renegades under control. No women or children were involved."
They walked back to the village and Corinne was immediately taken to see the injuries. Lucas was still carrying her saddlebags as she went to retrieve her oils and herbal kit. He stopped her for a moment after he handed them over.
"We'll talk again soon Cori." Corinne had to look up to watch his eyes as he spoke. She gave him a nod and squeezed his hand before she let go.
"Thanks for taking such good care of me tonight."
"It is my pleasure." His easygoing look was back and he gave her a wink before leaving her to her business.
The young men had some cuts but no puncture wounds. Corinne could see they would need a few stitches and Clive translated to the women caring for the men that she had some healing medicine that might help fight infection. They welcomed her help. She was thrilled.
She spoke in English in a soothing voice that Clive translated softly. She went through her kit and got lavender, eucalyptus and the precious small vile of tee tree oil. She cleansed their wounds and then applied her mixture to the edges of the wound and also to the needle. The women did a good job cleaning the wounds free of dirt and grime so Corinne spent a brief amount of time stitching the wounds. Then she reapplied her
mixture and bandages them. The job was done quickly. She washed her hands and was thinking she would head to bed when she realized that sleep would be a long time off. They wanted to know more about her medicines.
The elder women and a few prominent men of the tribe were talking animatedly about the medicines and Clive could not translate fast enough. They wanted to see her mother’s journals and learn everything from her. Corinne was excited to share but also exhausted from the long day. Clive, after a few hours called the event closed and told them that Corinne was tired. He led her back to her tent with a lantern and gave her a fatherly kiss on the forehead. She was asleep as soon as she lay down. She had nightmares all night though, battles and injuries greater than the ones she had recently experienced.
The morning came late for Corinne; the whole village seemed to be moving slow after the long night. The young boys were talking of the battle and in the way of young boys, they enjoyed reliving the fight. The sizzling food eventually brought everyone out of their beds.
Corinne sat at the fire and nibbled on her breakfast, wordlessly. She was nervous to see Lucas today. What would he think of their time together yesterday? She wasn’t sure what to think about it herself. The feelings inside her were swirling around faster than she could catch up with.
The day flew by when the women came for her, along with Clive, to talk about her herbs and oils. They had an idea to send someone with Clive to Oregon City to learn the language and be trained by her. She was very willing to do the training as long as they could keep both lines open. She wanted to learn from them, too. Corinne was excited to hear they were serious about their intentions and discussed the most capable young woman for the journey.
The Indians had given a map to Clive with lots of instructions about the location of water holes. There would be a few people traveling back with them and tagging along to Oregon City with the Grant outfit. Corinne was thrilled when she found out that Bluebird would be coming with them. She felt a strong bond with her and longed to breach the language gap between them. She knew Bluebird was a special girl with a keen intellect. Her black eyes were filled with mirth and wisdom for one so young. Corinne guessed she wasn’t even sixteen years old.
Before they left that evening Corinne made a few good trades for her bottles of oil. She got beaded moccasins that were so comfortable Corinne was certain she would never wear any other shoes. They also made her a full-length coat with heavy warm fur insulating it. The golden tan hide was delicately beaded with wildflower patterns. Corinne was touched to get such a beautiful and generous gift. They said the coat would keep her safe 'for the time of cold, mountain snows would be coming soon.'
She knew she would wear the coat in honor.
* * * * *
Chapter Twenty-Five
July 17 1848
The group that left that night to travel in the cool of the evening was Clive, Lucas, Corinne, Bluebird, and two men from their tribe. They would be guiding them to some springs on their journey through the South Pass and the mountains ahead. Corinne didn’t understand much of what they said unless Clive translated but she did enjoy their smiles and genuine warmth. She looked forward to traveling with them and knowing them all better as the journey progressed.
A few looks passed between Lucas and Corinne as they prepared to leave. She could read in his eyes that he wanted to talk more with her but perhaps the time would come another day. She had a strange wish to be near him again like they had the night before. Cuddling against his chest had been lovely and a bit frightening. She could not say why it was both but now she seriously wished she had her mother or Angela to talk to. She may yet confide in Chelsea but that was complicated. She was Lucas's sister-in-law. Perhaps it would create a strained relationship if she had questions about his sincerity or changed her mind about her feelings. How did things get so complicated so quickly?
They plodded through the night slowly guided by the stars. The few night bugs chirped and hummed their songs as the group moved toward the South Pass; the wagon train would be close to that place soon. They were going to find a water hole ahead of them and then guide the train to it. Corinne had concerns that the loss of so many animals had already crippled the train's ability to keep going but Clive explained that wasn’t the case.
"The harsh reality is that with the loss of life and supplies along the way, it is an unfortunate but necessary part of the journey. The strain of the journey will always mimic nature. The survival of the fittest is the rule. The wagons get lighter as they eat through supplies. The terrain gets harsher and people and animals get sacrificed to the demands." Clive said, "It's the hardest thing to see after so many years of traveling, but it's a brutal truth." He made eye contact with her as she thought about his words. "What we are doing Corinne is harder than anything ever should be. When we get to our Valley we will have 'seen the elephant'. We survived the trail. The great spirit of this land is now in us, and we have conquered it." Corinne felt humbled by his speech and remained silent for a while. She could only wonder at how she had survived when she had seen so many strong men fall.
* * * * *
"Come ride with me Corinne." Lucas rode near her and spoke loud enough for Clive to hear, too. Corinne glanced to Lucas's expectant face and then to Clive who nodded with the smallest hint of a smirk.
They rode ahead for a few minutes and then slowed to a walk. Lucas kept his eyes ahead and Corinne could see a serious look cross his features as he was thinking about what he wanted to say to her.
"I keep thinking about you." He finally said, daring a look at her. She wanted to smile but the serious look made her pause. She would let him talk.
"I know we have a connection but you are right to ask about Sarah. I left her behind without truly letting her go. I believe in my heart that she is not waiting for me, but my integrity and honor is smarting from my actions with you." He looked away to say the rest. "The fact is, I entertained feelings for you while engaged to someone else. I do not regret having feelings for you at all, but I cannot abide the dishonor upon you and myself if I continue to act upon these feelings before sending word to Miss Ballentine of our cancelled engagement."
"I will never doubt your sense of honor, Lucas." Corinne said softly to clear the air. She could see he was struggling with his actions.
"Perhaps I am too harsh on myself but I have to see myself as a just and honorable man. I cannot in good conscience play with anyone's emotions lightly." Lucas stopped his horse and looks toward the sunrise before him, so intense and raw. Corinne knew in that moment she would never see him the same way again. He was a good man. That he cared for her at all seemed a miracle. His integrity and honor was surely something that made her proud to know him.
Corinne suddenly felt her heart drop through her to the ground. Perhaps Sarah still wanted him. Maybe she had already written to him telling him of her devotion and willingness to come to him. Perhaps this was just a mild feeling Lucas had and his honor would dictate him to wait for Sarah and abandon his fledgling feelings for her. Corinne realized that she had no claim like Sarah had on him. He had accepted gifts from her family. In some cultures that made them legally bound.
"You look worried Corinne." Lucas's face was calmer now. Like he had released some pressure off himself and now was happier for it.
"I ..." Corinne faltered not wanting to admit she suddenly wished to keep him for herself. "I am at a loss. This is new to me and perhaps I cannot say as well as you have how I feel." Corinne felt a foolish tear escape from one eye and travel down her face. She hated her stupid emotions that kept giving her away. Lucas rode closer to her to so he could wipe it away. She beat him to it with a swipe of hand.
"I just realize that you are quite a man Lucas Grant." She stood up in her stirrups and without over-thinking she kissed him briefly as he had done just a day before in the dark. "Now we are equals in this." She sat back in the saddle and waited for his response. He was first surprised then seemed pleased.
"I will bid
e my time for you Cori." Lucas reached a hand to her face and stroked her chin. She leaned in for a moment to accept the comfort of it.
"If we are meant to be, it will be."
They turned back and soon were back in the party with Clive and the others. They all settled soon after in a shady spot to sleep during the heat of the day.
* * * * *
Chapter Twenty-Six
July 18 1848
The travel was slow as Clive was checking his map and conversed with the Indian scouts that came along. Lucas kept busy with the men and Corinne stayed near Bluebird.
The communication between Corinne and Bluebird was limited but Corinne desperately wanted to get to know her. Her kind face and wise eyes seemed to beckon her friendship. Corinne was certain Andrew and her Aunt would have hated her having any relationship to what they would call a 'savage redskin.'
Corinne learned that Bluebird was the English translation of her name from Clive. It was pronounced 'Doli' and Corinne practiced it a few times before she got it right.
As they rode along Corinne and Bluebird traded words, they went through hair, hand, horse, foot and each other’s names but tired quickly. The morning heat was escalating and they kept watching the men to see if they wanted to set up a rest area soon.
They had been traveling for many hours, water, and rest was in order. Clive seemed pretty engrossed in conversation and then gestured that we follow. It had been a habit since they rose in the pre-dawn hour. They were looking for a good water source for the animals. We all knew this was of the utmost importance. Corinne realized that every time she thought of her own thirst she realized the wagon trains would be even worse. She had her fill of fresh water in the Indian village.
Clive led them around a group of low scrub bushes. A giant boulder jutted from the ground but behind it was a shadow where the sun could not reach this early in the day. The Indian scouts jumped off their horses and began digging with small wooden shovels. Within a minute the ground began to grow dark and water bubbled out like a deep breath. Everyone gasped and jumped down with their canteens. By turn they all were laughing and drinking, the water was plenteous. Clive drank his fill of the sweet cold water then got busy with the map again. The scouts were pointing and talking and they all agreed after several minutes they had the lay of the land captured. Bluebird pulled a satchel from behind her saddle and opened it near the water spring. She pulled out a brush and some powder and with a small scoop of water she made a red watery paste. She went to the side that faced east and began to paint a bright red circle with two wavy lines under it. It was rather large on the rock and would be seen from quite a distance.