by C. B. Haight
Collett then looked around the room. Everyone was there, Cynda, Rederrick, James, Jenny, and even a stoic Nate, whom she had hardly seen since his arrival, stood in the corner with his deep-blue eyes staring at her.
For some reason, Collett could not explain, at that very moment, Cade’s presence was in truth the only one that mattered. With his hand holding hers, she felt grounded.
Speaking with false courage, Collett said, “Okay, let’s get started. How do we do this?”
Selena answered her with a soft, soothing tone, “We will try the easiest way first then go from there.”
“What is the easiest way?” Collett asked apprehensively.
Selena smiled, “You come over here and take my hand.”
“That doesn’t seem so bad, then.” Collett replied with a relieved sigh.
“Not at all.” She said with a laugh, “and I don’t even bite.” She raised her brow and smiled in Cade’s direction. “Are you ready, Collett?” She finished.
“As ready I can be.” Collett replied, and moved to Selena, reluctantly releasing Cade’s hand.
Selena held out her small, soft hand, palm up, her slender fingers perfectly manicured. “Calm yourself Collett, there’s no need to be afraid. I won’t hurt you.” She offered reassuringly.
Of course Collett knew that, but she felt excited and scared at the same time. She took a deep breath, looked around for reassurance, found Cade’s warm, encouraging eyes, then placed her hand carefully in Selena’s.
The quick, small spark between them jolted Collett, it almost made her let go. As it was, she startled slightly. Selena kept her grip tight and held her in place, closing her eyes. Collett felt strength, and peace from Selena. Her battered nerves calmed as she let the tranquil feelings in. It was the most peaceful and relaxed Collett had felt in a long, long time.
After what only seemed to be a couple of minutes Selena loosened her firm grip, and stumbled back a step. Collett opened her eyes and saw Cade’s worried expression. He now stood right next to her, looking like he was ready to catch her, in case she fell over.
“Are you all right?” He asked concerned.
Answering him with a nod, Collett looked over to Selena, who was now sitting in the chair, looking drawn and tired. Hesitant but eager, Collett asked, “Did you…. Did something happen? Did you see something to help me?”
Jenny handed Selena a cup of water. Before Selena could answer Collett, Cynda said, “Let’s give her a moment to recover. Are you alright, Selena?”
Selena nodded and took a sip of her water.
“I don’t know about the rest of you, but that was one of the most intense thirty minutes of my life.” James said.
“What? It couldn’t have been thirty minutes.” Collett said surprised.
“Collett, why don’t you sit down, too,” Cade said calmly. Then he carefully led her to the couch and sat down with her.
“Thirty minutes?” Collett whispered. “How can that be? It seemed to happen so fast.”
“I was surprised myself.” Selena added. “Never before has it taken so much.”
Collett looked to her, “You look tired, I’m sorry. I had no idea what this would do to you.”
Selena waved away the apology, “As I said, it has never happened this way before. Trust me, it is very much alright. It was worth the experience.”
Collett was still anxious to know what Selena saw so she inquired politely, “Does this mean you see something?”
Selena took on a pinched, sad look and with a controlled, precise movement she set her glass of water on the table. She looked at Collett with her deep brown eyes. Then, using a sympathetic gaze and an apologetic voice, Selena answered, “Collett, every journey has pitfalls. This is just one of yours. I really am very sorry, but I cannot help you.”
“What do you mean you can’t help her?” Cade countered. “You must have seen something in all that time. Felt something?”
Selena dismissed Cade’s tone, and gave him a kind look when she answered, “I did… and I cannot help Collett because she does not need, or want my help.”
Softly Collett pleaded, “I don’t understand. I do want your help. I do need your help. Please! I’m desperate to know who I am.”
Selena looked back to Collett. Smiling a full and sincere smile, she said vaguely, “Collett, you already know. You are hurting now, so you do not want to see it. Time is what you need. You will see the truth when you are meant to, and you won’t need my help. In truth, it is we that need you. When you remember who you are, you will only want help from one, and it is not me.”
Collett looked at Selena with a sad, broken expression. Cynda went to her and laid a hand on Collett’s shoulder to offer support. She directed her gaze to Selena, “Thank you Selena. Don’t worry Collett, we’ll help you though this.”
Cade hated seeing Collett so disappointed. He wanted to fix this for her. Wanted to make Selena tell him what she saw, or even shake her until she told them something. Cade knew though, it wouldn’t matter. Selena had given Collett all she would. She always stood firm in the information she gave. He knew that from personal experience.
Cade did ask, “So are you saying Collett will remember?” He wanted Collett to at least have some hope.
Selena answered him carefully, “I’m saying she can. When she will, is up to her.” Standing she said, “I better get back to the shop. Collett, it was truly a pleasure to meet you. I hope one day you will come back and see me.”
Rederrick straightened up from his spot near the fireplace and said, “I’ll take you back, Selena.”
Selena moved to leave then looking to Cade she asked, “Cade? I wonder if you could give me a minute before I leave.”
Cade looked away from Collett, “Can it wait?”
“No, it can’t,” she said with a firm tone.
Giving Selena a quick nod, he murmured, “I’ll be right back,” to Collett. Then he stood to follow Selena out of the room. She walked into the foyer, turned suddenly and held out her hand.
With a lifted brow Cade looked down at her hand seeing the challenge for what it was. Defiantly, he asked, “Haven’t we been down this road?”
Selena looked at him and said, “You know as well as me, the ripples a small drop of water can make in the still pond. So, humor me.”
Resigned, Cade lifted his hand and placed it in Selena’s soft warm grasp. Selena closed her eyes for a moment, “Sooner than you’ll be ready for,” she began. “You will come to an old broken bridge. Cade, you can burn it, and try to keep everyone away from the possible danger of crossing it, thus forgetting what great things you might see and feel on the other side. Or you can shore it up, taking your time to work your way carefully across it, fixing and strengthening the weak points. Then you will witness for yourself what treasures lay there waiting for you, and all the people who will be able to cross after. This is a life-changing decision that will affect more than just you, more than just her.
You will be presented with a true opportunity here, and every decision has consequences. It is entirely up to you whether they are positive or negative. When you are faced with this decision, weigh it carefully. Then no matter what…don’t turn back.”
Selena opened her eyes and looked into Cade’s confused gaze. She gave him a brilliant smile and called Rederrick to inform him she was ready. While they waited, Selena put on the coat that hung over her arm, and Cade could only think about what she said.
When Rederrick entered the room, Selena threw out one more cryptic comment, “Cade, when the time comes trust in her to know what is right. No matter what, no matter the cost, believe in her. She is not willing to cause anyone undue pain, especially you. Some things simply must be done with fierce courage and resolve.”
Rederrick shared Cade’s puzzled expression as Selena finished and turned, exiting through the large front door.
Cade asked Rederrick, “Now what in the hell am I supposed to do with that?”
Rederrick shrugge
d his shoulders, “I’m not sure, but I’m glad someone got some advice today.” Then he followed Selena out, shutting the door behind him.
Cade stood there by himself, repeating her words in his head, trying to make sense of them. He knew she must to be referring to Collett in part. The confusing part was the trust thing. He did trust her. Didn’t he? He asked himself.
Moreover, what was all that crap about the bridge? Why couldn’t she just tell him something the straightforward way? “Here’s the problem, and this is what you need to do.” Why did it all have to be some vague puzzle? He hated puzzles.
“Cade?” Cynda’s voice startled him.
He turned, “Yeah?”
Cynda looked at him with a motherly expression, “Are you alright?”
His answer was short and clipped, “Yeah… fine, why?”
She scrutinized his face and body language. Seeing his tight jaw and narrowed brow, Cynda knew he was bothered by something. “Could you come and sit with Collett? I’m going to talk with James before he goes.”
Shaking off Selena’s cryptic words, Cade said, “Yeah okay, I’m coming.”
Cade entered the room and walked over to the couch where Collett still sat. Her arms were folded, and she was slouched over. It looked as if she were trying to contain all of her frustrations and emotions, when they just wanted to come bursting out.
“I was so scared of what she would tell me today,” Collett quietly said as she heard him enter the room.
Cade sat next to her and put a hand on her back. He rubbed in soothing motions, not speaking, just letting her talk.
“I didn’t want to find out something bad about myself. I was afraid I would hear something I couldn‘t live with. I wasn’t prepared to find out nothing. Why is this happening to me? Why can’t I remember?” Collett pleaded.
He wrapped his arm around her, letting her lean into him. Then Cade said, “Selena said you can remember. We just have to figure out how. Don’t get discouraged and give up yet.”
Collett sat up and gave him a cross look. “Is that what you think? I would just give up. You think I haven’t been trying?”
Cade started to answer, “That’s not what I meant….”
Collett cut him by off, standing she said, “Don’t you get it? For the last two years of this horrible nightmare, I have been trying to figure it out! Trying to remember anything about who I am! I am desperate to understand why someone wants me dead. You have no idea what it’s like not knowing who you are! Not remembering the people who may have been important to you!”
Cade stood then running his hand through his hair roughly. “You’re right. I don’t understand it, but I’m trying to help here, Collett. I am not your enemy. We, the people here in this house, are not your enemies. So quit trying to attack us when you get frustrated. I understand you’re scared, but you can’t let your fear rule you. Do whatever it is you need to do to get over it, and move past it. Let me enlighten you a little on the subject of fear. We’re all afraid of something. It’s how we act against our fear that makes us who we are. I have seen men who were afraid of dying, march into battle strong and proud, praying to their God that they would prevail, trying to fight for their beliefs, just to make the world a better place. I have watched while sickness and death spread though towns. I’ve seen things as simple as colds kill children, all because selfish doctors afraid to get sick just stepped away, and watched people die. The actions we take against our fears and trials shape us in this life. That is what makes us strong and courageous.”
Collett looked at him quizzically; her face had visibly paled. “What did you say?” she whispered.
Cade, confused by the sudden change in her asked, “What? What did I say?”
Collett mumbled softly, “Sickness. They were all so sick. Then she was sick. She was so horribly sick. Oh no!” Her hand covered her lips as the image became clearer. A single tear slipped free of her crystal blue eyes.
Cade quickly figured out what was happening and cursing under his breath said, “Collett, look, we don’t have to talk about this right now.”
Collett looked at him with a pained expression and eased herself back onto the couch. “Juliet coughed so hard, she could barely breathe. Her skin burned with fever. When I touched her head I could feel the heat.” Collett stared down at her hands. “It burned my skin. When she slept, I could hear the rattle in her tiny chest. Then one night, she took one last rattling breath and just…stopped. Stopped smiling, stopped breathing. She just stopped living. Just like that, she was gone. I held her frail body, felt the weight of it when she died.” More tears escaped her eyes, running down her ivory cheeks.
Her tears tore through him. Wanting her pain to stop, Cade sat by her again, and said firmly, “That’s enough. Let’s go and get some tea.”
“NO! I need to remember!” Collett protested. It hurt so much. “Someone needs to remember! Don’t you see?” She was pleading now. “It matters if I remember. She mattered! I’m supposed to remember her! I loved her. My sweet, innocent Juliet… I have to remember. Why can’t I remember?” The last words came out in a pleading whisper.
He couldn’t stand it anymore. “That’s enough.” He wrapped her up in his arms and pulled her body to him cradling her tightly in his embrace. Then repeated softly, “That‘s enough. For now, it’s enough. I’m sorry Collett. I’m so sorry.”
Collett pushed away from him enough to look into his eyes, “You knew,” she accused.
“I suspected,” he said carefully with a voice full of compassion.
Deflated, she leaned back into his warm, comforting embrace. This up-and-down emotional rollercoaster was wearing her out. She sniffled, “You were right. I don’t mean to attack you. It just seems you’re always there whenever I lash out. I’m sorry.”
“Does it help? To lash out I mean?”
“Sometimes,” she answered honestly.
“Then I guess I’ll have to keep being there,” Cade replied as he pulled closer.
Chapter Eighteen
One week after Selena’s visit, Collett was at an impasse with regard to remembering who she was. There were no more vague memories or terrible nightmares. Her mind fell into what she felt was a sleep state. She had a hard time focusing on anything truthfully. There was too much jumbled in her head, and she couldn’t pull one thought forward at a time. When she did, her thoughts centered on Cade and their budding relationship.
Rederrick watched her, looking at her dazed expression as he called her name for the third time. “Collett?”
This time she heard him. Looking sideways, Collett saw his pinched and concerned features and realized that this was not the first time he had said her name, “Hum?”
“Are you alright?” he asked.
Trying to ease his mind, Collett answered absently, “Yeah, fine.” Seeing his appraising eyes, she admitted, “Sorry, I was just thinking.”
He scrutinized Collett carefully, “You know, we can do this another day.”
Collett smiled at him and responded, “No, I need to get all of this down. Cade keeps reminding me we may not have a lot of time. On top of that, with the upcoming holiday and Cade’s tight schedule for my training with him, it seems my time with you is limited.”
Rederrick wondered to himself if Cade wasn’t pushing too hard. He knew Cade was trying to keep her safe, but the phrase, all work and no play jumped into his head. Rederrick decided he would go over the emergency numbers one more time, and then he would give her a break.
He said, “Why don’t we go over the phone list one more time.”
Collett stood from the chrome and black chair she occupied in the security room, and walked over to the bank of screens playing out security footage. Rederrick was teaching her how to work some of the more basic equipment and briefing her on emergency protocols. Cade insisted she needed at least an hour a day going over the vast amount of information in this room.
Answering him, Collett recited the four numbers Rederrick had taught
her for emergencies: his cell and Cade’s cell, not that Cade showed any sign of leaving the house as long as she was in it. Then she rattled off Nate’s number and finally Cody’s who had yet to arrive.
Cody kept in contact and called Rederrick again yesterday to tell him he would be delayed until this Tuesday. Apparently, an unexpected emergency had come up.
As she rattled off numbers, Rederrick thought about all that Collett had been through this last week. It had been exactly two weeks and two days after Collett’s run-in with the demon, and they were no further along in understanding any of this.
Cade and Rederrick had done a massive amount of research, looking for any small clue they could find, trying to make some sense of this. They were still coming up empty-handed. Making matters worse, the waiting was making everyone edgy. They expected Collett’s attackers to make a move by now.
Thanksgiving was only one week away. If they didn’t find something soon, Rederrick worried it would cast a shadow over the festivities. All three of his children were making plans to come home for the long weekend.
As Collett finished her list, Rederrick heard wistfulness in her voice. He could tell she was starting to feel cooped up here in the house. Collett hadn’t been outside for more than two weeks now. She didn’t utter a single complaint about her self-imposed prison. She just took it stoically, complying with anything to make it easier on those around her.
When Rederrick didn’t speak up after she finished, Collett twisted her neck, looking over her shoulder, and asked, “Was that right?”
“Yeah, it was right,” he answered. “You won’t have any problems remembering if you need them now.”
Collett squinted her eyes and studied Rederrick. His thoughts were preoccupied as well. She tried a positive tone to reassure him, “Maybe we could go over it a few more times, just to be sure. I would hate to forget your number if Cade needed you. Or we could review the safe’s codes in the garage,” she suggested.
Rederrick gave her a fatherly smile and questioned, “Do you really believe you’ll forget, or are you trying to reassure me that you won’t?”