by C. B. Haight
Collett followed and asked in a voice filled with concern, “What is it Cynda, did I do something wrong?”
Cynda shook her head and said quietly, “No, you did nothing wrong. I am just a little stunned is all?”
“What is it then? What did I do?” Her voice rang with insecurity.
“You took away my worry. I think,” Cynda said.
Collett narrowed her eyes and gave Cynda a look that silently asked, ‘Are you crazy?’ though the only word to escape her mouth was, “What?”
Cynda just ignored it and continued, “I remember now. I was so cold and tired; I just wanted to go to sleep. I didn’t want to wake up, was sure, I was not going to wake up.”
Collett asked forcefully, “What are you talking about?”
“The river, that day at the river, I heard you. I was there in the dark and I heard you telling me I needed to come back. I didn’t really want to, though. Then I saw Rederrick in my mind, and Tracy, James, and Ashley. Suddenly, I wanted to fight. I wanted to wake up.”
“Cynda, I’m still not sure what you’re talking about. Yes, I was there and yes, I spoke to you. Cade was there too. He warmed you up remember? That’s why you woke up, Cynda, it wasn’t me. All I did was talk to you.”
Cynda glared at her, “I know what I’m talking about. I remember Cade too, but you don’t really get it. Until I heard your voice, I had given up. No…it was more than just your voice.”
“I remember hearing you that day, but it’s strange; I’d easily forgotten the wonderful warm sensations my body felt when I heard you. I felt tingling all over. Then I remember listening to your soft, almost musical voice, reminding me people loved me and needed me. ‘It wasn’t my time,’ you said.
“Then a moment ago I was worried about you. Then you touched my hands and spoke to me with reassuring words. I felt it again. It wasn’t as strong as before, but it was there, that warm tingling, a feeling of comfort. Then poof! I didn’t feel worried anymore. I almost forgot what I was thinking about.”
Tentatively Collett mumbled, “I’m not sure what you’re saying here, and even more certain you’re just really confused.”
“Alright, if you don’t believe me, how about a little experiment?”
“What kind of experiment?” she asked carefully.
“Tomorrow, let’s try this empathic thing on Cade and Rederrick, and then see what happens. To make it fair I won’t tell them my theory. You, in turn, have to agree to give it your best shot. We’ll just let the chips fall where they may.”
Remaining unsure, but willing to consider it, Collett asked, “Why tomorrow?”
“I want your mind clear and focused when you do this. Plus, I noticed it was sort of draining on you.”
Collett answered quickly, “It might have been, but it wasn’t too bad.”
Cynda scrutinized Collett carefully. Her cheeks held a pink tint, and her face was alight with excitement. She didn’t want to push Collett too hard, but time was short so she relented. “Okay we’ll try it tonight, but if it is too much you have to tell me right away.”
Collett remained uncertain of this plan, but she could also see there was no other way to convince Cynda. She also wanted to try out her new found skill of sensing emotions some more. So, she nodded her agreement. Then she asked, “What if you’re wrong?”
Cynda grinned deviously, “There is something you should learn about me, Collett. I may not always be right, but I’m never wrong,” she said teasingly.
Collett couldn’t help but smile at her confidence, “Okay… What if you are right?”
Cynda’s smile fell, an unsure expression replaced it, “I’m not sure, but I have a sneaking suspicion that whatever it means, it must be important.”
Collett wasn’t sure how to feel about this possibility. To her it all seemed very unlikely. All of it was thrilling and nerve-wracking at the same time. Collett knew however, they needed to find out for sure. “Well then, who do we try it on first?” she asked.
Enjoying the game, Cynda gave her a sideways glance and said sarcastically, “We’ll give them a chance to volunteer first, but if no one steps up to bat we’ll convince my loving, devoted, willing to do anything I say husband, of course.”
Collett couldn’t help the smile from spreading across her face once again as she replied, “Of course.”
Chapter Nineteen
As promised, Cynda told no one about how she suspected that Collett had eased away her burden of worry. However, during dinner that night, Cynda did tell them all about Collett reading her feelings and thoughts so easily.
Cynda then explained that Collett wanted to try out her new skills and see if she could read any of their emotions. Collett kept her gaze averted from Cade hoping he would not be the first to volunteer. Oddly, the thought of delving into his feelings made her nervous. Surprisingly, the first person who did volunteer was not Rederrick or Cade. It was Jenny.
“I’ll do it,” she said simply. Everyone’s heads turned and their stunned gazes locked on her. “I think I’d be much easier to read than Mr. Werren or Mr. Williams. What, with all the trainin’ and experience they’ve had. Besides, I may be old now, but I still have a bit of an adventurous spirit left in these creaky bones.”
Cade couldn’t hold back his smile as Jenny said his name so formally. Jenny had known him for almost twenty-five years now. She still defiantly refused to call him by his first name. Cade was an associate of her husband’s. He had brought a devastated Jenny here, to Cynda and Rederrick, twenty-four years ago to help her start over.
All those years ago The Faction brutally killed Jenny’s husband for helping Cade find and rescue someone they were holding at one of their secure facilities. Cade knew Jenny would need a safe place for a while, so he brought her to the safest place he knew. Jenny had been here ever since.
Jenny and Cynda had taken to each other right away. Cynda’s mother had passed recently, and Jenny never had children, so they bonded together, lifting each other up, and made a family.
“All right. You can go first Jenny,” agreed Cynda. “We’ll go ahead and try this in the parlor after dinner.”
“I’ll just go now, and take dinner to the young Nate, in the security room,” she said, then she left to make a plate for Nate.
Everyone sat in silence for a time, finishing up their ham and baked potatoes. The only sound in the room was the scrape of flatware against the plates. Cynda gave Rederrick a pointed look, letting him know she expected him to be the next volunteer. Lucky for him, Cade noticed how oblivious he was. “I’ll do it, too.”
Looking up from her plate, Collett met his eyes. She felt relieved when Jenny spoke first, and had hoped she’d dodged reading Cade.
She felt her nerves jitter. Most of the time, she couldn’t sense a single emotion from Cade. What will I sense now, she thought. Those few times she had sensed emotion from him, the feelings were very strong and intense, almost uncontrolled. Then they had winked out, just as quickly as they had come.
Cade stared right back at her with a challenge in his warm eyes, “I mean, if that’s alright with you, Collett.”
“Yea…” she cleared her throat annoyed that her voice croaked. “Sure, that’s fine,” she said with false confidence.
Cade inclined his head and grinned. He didn’t have to be an empath to see how nervous the thought of reading him made Collett.
Truth be told, Cade wasn’t so certain about it himself. He wasn’t even sure what compelled him to volunteer. Other than saving Rederrick from Cynda’s wrath, there was no good reason for it. The possibility of her finding his growing feelings for her worried him. She was just getting comfortable around him. She almost welcomed his small light touches now, and his closeness didn‘t put her on edge anymore. What would happen, he wondered, if she knew the whole truth?
He wanted Collett to know how he felt, but only when the time was right. Simply, he was afraid when she found out, she wouldn’t feel the same. The thought of her pulling back
, pulling away from him, was enough to make Cade regret so easily volunteering. He realized, if Collett rejected him completely, it might be too much for him, but curiosity didn’t just kill cats. It had a way of trapping all kinds of animals, including wolves.
After dinner was finished and the plates cleared away, they all adjourned to the parlor. Rederrick lit a fire as everyone settled in. Upon Cynda’s direction, Cade moved the two wingback chairs to face each other, putting them close together.
Just as he finished, Jenny bustled into the room. Collett invited her to sit in one of the two chairs then sat in the opposite one facing Jenny, putting her back to the fire. Cynda stepped forward, and her green eyes sparkled with unspoken excitement. She opened her hand, revealing the same three crystals they had used earlier that morning.
Collett closed her eyes briefly, then scooped up the stones and laid them in her lap. I can do this, she reminded herself. I have done this before. “Are you ready?” she asked Jenny.
Jenny nodded and took a deep steadying breath.
Collett explained, “This morning, it took me a moment to center myself and my emotions. That way, my own feelings won’t interfere and get confused with yours. Then, I will try to read some of your emotions, and if we’re lucky, maybe some of your thoughts.”
“You just take all the time you need, sweetie.” Jenny replied. “Do you need to hold my hand or something?”
“No, not right now, if I can’t get something after a while, we’ll try a physical connection to help, but I would like to try to do this without it first.”
“Okay then, do whatever you need to,” Jenny replied, clasping her hands together and laying them in her lap.
Closing her eyes, Collett took in several deep breaths, letting them out slowly on a count of ten. She let go of her own thoughts and nervous emotions with each calming breath. She was looking once again for that peaceful white space in her mind. After a few minutes, Collett felt relaxed enough to start reaching out to Jenny.
She found the process much harder this time, mostly because there were so many different emotions in the room around her. It was something they hadn’t accounted for. It was hard to push through until she could feel just Jenny. It was sort of like listening to a radio station with too much static, the people here in the room were the confusing static skewing the sound. Collett was unwilling to give up so easily though.
Straining harder, she reached out for the strong nurturing feelings that surrounded Jenny the first time they met, more than two weeks ago. When she finally found it, Collett found it much easier to recognize Jenny from the rest of the people in the room and to stick with her emotions.
Searching for a particularly strong emotion, Collett ultimately found a warm, soft emotion that drew her in. She decided to focus on it further. Her brow pinched in concentration, “Love. I can feel love…” she voiced quietly.
So quietly in fact, Rederrick didn’t hear, “What did she say?” He whispered to no one specific.
With arms folded tight, in order to keep himself from touching Collett, Cade answered solemnly, “Love.”
The voices almost broke her concentration. Collett pinched her eyes closed tighter, trying harder to shut out the other people in the room. Keeping her focus on Jenny, Collett started again, “You still love him.”
Jenny’s chocolate brown eyes watered as she answered the proclamation, “Yes dear, I still do. I love him very much.”
“Sometimes, just the strength of that love sees you through each day. You see him in your dreams. You think of him often. Oh Jenny, you miss him terribly. I can feel it.” Collett didn’t realize it, but as she spoke, her hand fisted tightly at her breastbone. She felt the loneliness sharply in her heart. It was as if the pain was as much hers as it was Jenny’s.
With the feelings so vivid in her heart and the memories so clear in her mind as well, Jenny’s voice cracked, “That I do, dear.” A single tear escaped running down her soft, wrinkled cheek.
Cade moved across the room, not to comfort Collett this time, but to offer his support to Jenny. He reached down and grabbed her hand, and Jenny gripped it tight, welcoming his support.
A fresh wave of raw emotion rushed through Collett. She rode the wave as it pulled her in deeper than ever before. She could feel the same raw, sad loneliness that had broken Jenny’s heart so long ago. Collett startled slightly, as images invaded her thoughts. The crystals in her lap clattered to the floor. She saw vague flashes of a younger man with sandy hair and a dimpled smile. Then, there was blood, and a quick, small, painful memory of a funeral. It was so swift Collett was unsure whether the picture was real or imagined.
She felt the drain as well. Her head spun and the images quickly disappeared. Tears leaked from her closed eyes. She opened them slowly and looking past the teary blur, stared directly into Jenny’s sad, love-filled eyes.
“You’re so proud of him, his sacrifice, and his courage. You never once blamed him… you believed in his choice, believed it was right.” Collett stated with awe and wonder in her voice.
This time Jenny only nodded. The words were stuck in tight in her pained chest.
Collett swiped at her unchecked tears, her heart broke for this woman. She stood and put her left hand on Jenny’s shoulder as she crouched to meet her gaze, the unshed tears still making her eyes glisten in the firelight. Collett remembered Cynda’s words when they discussed love only days ago.
“Jenny,” she began with a soothing voice. “Someone once told me when you love somebody, as strongly and as powerfully as you loved Sam, it never fades, and it never dies. That kind of love follows us into the next life. It is everlasting. You have been truly blessed to have found it and will be blessed again when you meet up with him once more.”
Jenny smiled through her tears. She looked up to Cade with glistening brown eyes, squeezing his hand to let Cade know she was alright now and was grateful for his support.
Jenny felt a peaceful calm enter her heart, leaving the strong love she held for Sam and erasing some of her sad loneliness left over by the loss of her husband. Jenny never could have imagined Collett pulling at her old wounds and finding Sam’s special place in her heart. And then somehow the pain Jenny carried for so many years ebbed, and she felt content.
Cynda watched the entire event unfold carefully; keeping close to Collett in case she needed support or grounding. She tried to examine each change that occurred in both women thoroughly. She waited patiently for this very moment. When she saw it, she lost her focus on Collett and focused intensely on Jenny. She watched the amazing way Jenny’s drawn expression shifted into a calm, serene smile, full of love and hope. Cynda couldn’t help but smile to herself. Collett had done it again, and Cynda knew it.
Then she directed her smile to Collett giving her an, I told you so smirk. Her smile fell when she saw Collett. She was very pale, flushed. She was paler then she should be. Beads of moisture dotted her brow, and her crystal blue eyes had dark shadows within them, hinting at the toll this exercise must have taken for her.
Concerned, Cynda approached Collett with weary eyes, “Are you alright?” she asked under her breath, trying not to draw attention.
“Yes, I’m fine. I just have a small headache. It was harder than it had been with you.” Truthfully, she thought, it was more than a little headache. It was more like an icepick jamming at her skull. Collett felt the intense throbbing behind her temples and couldn’t help rubbing one side with her free hand.
“Why don’t you sit back down for a minute? I’ll get you some water,” Cynda said, and quickly left to get the water, sending Rederrick a pointed, worried look on her way out.
Of course, Cade’s sensitive hearing picked up their whispered conversation, and he focused his attention on Collett. Like Cynda, he noticed the profound change. He patted Jenny’s hand and then letting go, Cade took one large step to reach Collett. He moved a stray hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. “Why don’t you sit down, catch your breath�
�� or do something to put some color in those cheeks.” He had tried for a calm tone but failed.
“I really am fine, just a small headache. I promise,” Collett explained quietly.
Cade wasn’t buying it. His protective feelings for Collett came out, and once again, he lost sight of everyone else in the room besides Collett. Putting his hands on her shoulders he looked into her now dark eyes, carefully scrutinizing them for the lie.
She looked back into his warm eyes, and without even trying, Collett felt his strong concern rush through her. As always seemed to be the case, the contact somehow amplified the effect. He was concerned for her. Collett could feel his worry over her pale skin color, her pained expression. She sensed his worry made him nervous. He wasn’t sure what he should do, and clearly he never liked being unsure of his next action. It created a frustrated anger in him, and those emotions poured into her.
Collett’s eyes fluttered, and she felt the dizziness creep in. Reading Cade accidentally was too much. Collett heard someone say her name. Jenny maybe, but it sounded distant and tinny.
She put a hand to her head to quell the spinning, and her world suddenly tipped on its side. Cade had scooped her up into his arms as if she weighed no more than a small child. He looked into her now wide-open eyes, with concern all over his face.
“I think that’s enough for one day, don’t you? I’m taking you to bed.”
As Cade then started from the room, Collett heard Rederrick say, “I’ll take your turn on watch, you take care of her.”
Everything was happening so fast, she couldn’t think. Out of nowhere Cynda appeared in the hallway with a glass of water. “Oh, my, what happened?”
“She almost fainted. In fact, I’m sure if I hadn’t steadied her, she would have,” Cade answered gruffly before she could even form the words. “I’m taking her to her room to lie down.”
Steadied her? Collett thought, did that happen?
Cynda nodded, “That’s a good idea. I’ll make her some revitalizing tea and bring it up shortly.”