by Tracy Lauren
I wake up screaming.
“Hold her, someone hold her!”
“Get the sedatives! I need her still!”
I feel hands and arms reaching for me, holding me down. It feels like there are dozens. Panic rises like the tide in me. I want to run! I want to run!
Maybe someone shoots me with a painkiller. I can’t tell, my whole body seems to be on fire. It’s like there’s lava sluicing over my bones and under my flesh. I want to crawl right out of my own skin. But a calmness, a coolness begins pouring through me.
“No more mistakes like that one,” I hear someone say.
“Start the injections or it will rip her from sedation again.”
Yes, I think, someone please start the injections.
The next time I wake up, my insides feel tense. It’s as if my body is having a panic reaction, but without cognitively engaging with why I might be panicking.
I blink a few times. There’s a bright light shining directly over me. I shield my eyes. My body feels different. Something is off. I try to sit up.
“Slow yourself,” comes a voice from across the room.
“Narron?” I ask, squinting to see who is there.
“Move slowly,” he instructs me again. I ease up onto my elbows.
“Where are we? What am I doing here?”
“You are in the fortress. Five days of healing have passed since your injuries.”
“Injuries? Do you mean to say I’ve been sleeping for five days? How did that—” I ask, but my memories spill in.
Drykn and his evil eyes. Drykn and a glass shard jutting from his face. The taste of blood in my mouth. The sound of glass breaking. The sensation of falling, never-ending until it does just that. It ends. Abruptly.
The memories bring all the fear rushing back at me. I scramble to get up and hear others in the room startle and jump back. I can’t see them though. The light blinds me. Narron hurries to my side, his hands up.
“Please, move slowly.”
“What? What the hell are you talking about?”
Maybe he doesn’t want me to re-open any of my wounds. I look down at myself, starting with my hands. I remember that repulsive feeling of clutching onto a jagged shard of glass, of clutching it so tightly that it dug into my own flesh. And the sensation of slipping down the banner, trying desperately to grip it for dear life, all with a sliced-open hand.
But when I look at my palms I see nothing of consequence. No open wounds, no bandages, or scabs. Not even a scar remains as evidence of my near-death experience.
I touch my face, remembering the hits Drykn landed there. There’s no pain or swelling.
“Narron! Tell me, what’s going on?” I beg, jumping down from the cold metal exam table. When I hit the ground, the sound is louder than I imagined it would be. In some ways I feel…I don’t know, heavier? At the same time, I feel like there’s a fluidity in my motions that I never felt before.
“Call The Oscillion,” Narron says over his shoulder. Someone runs from the room.
“Damnit, Narron, just say it!” I demand, throwing my arms up in exasperation. There’s a terrible sensation inside me when I do it. It feels like all the fluid, blood, and guts in my body are unbuckled and free to explore the cabin.
I topple over, feeling like I’m going to be sick. Narron hovers over me, his massive body blocking out some of that awful bright light.
The door opens. I don’t need to look up to know that it’s The Oscillion who enters.
“What have you done to me?” I ask.
“Leave us,” The Oscillion says. Unseen men hovering at the edges of the room make their departure. Narron still hovers. “You too,” our master says, and Narron turns to leave, albeit reluctantly. The door shuts and we are alone.
“You did very well with Drykn, V. Your performance was everything I had hoped for and more.”
“It was less of a performance and more of a desperate struggle to live, but whatever. I think the more important thing to discuss is what the fuck is wrong with me?”
“Wrong with you? I must say, that is ungrateful even for a human. Do you know that Drykn fractured your skull? Did you know that a mere five days ago your arm was broken and your back embedded with glass? And you should have seen your hands!” The Oscillion exclaims, sliding his fingers between mine and holding my hand up for inspection. “But here we are, a short five days later and you are healed. Better than healed.” He tosses my heavy hand back into my lap.
“It’s hard to be grateful towards you when you’re the one who threw me to the wolves in the first place.”
“Wolves…a dangerous animal, I presume? I wonder if Drykn and his men would say the same? Or would they call you the wolves?”
“Wolf,” I correct, but I get his meaning. “That’s unfair and you know it.”
“Did you know that you killed one of them, V? You actually crushed his skull in with a small statue. Vicious…Vicious V. That has a ring to it, doesn’t it?”
I remember now the words spoken between Narron and The Oscillion. One dead, Drykn with his eye gouged out. The other with his face nearly bitten off. My stomach sours.
“If I’m healed then why do I feel like shit?” I ask, not looking into my master’s face.
“That is your Trans Alloy Skeletal Enhancement, and you’re welcome. It is a very expensive piece of equipment and I don’t give it to just anybody. As a matter of fact, none of my other guards have a TASE. Only you. You and I both.”
“A what?”
The Oscillion pulls all that long black hair of his to one side. He takes my hand again and places it at the base of his neck. There is something like a small box there, small with lots of tubes coming out of it only to embed themselves into The Oscillion’s flesh. My blood runs cold and I rip my hand away to search the back of my own neck. Sure enough, I have one too. Shaking, I explore the thing with my fingers.
“What you are feeling there is the processing unit and recycler. The processor is the interface between your brainstem and nervous system allowing the alloy to run seamlessly throughout your body with no more thought than it takes to reach out and touch someone. The recycler is constantly filtering the fluid so it does not calcify.”
“What is it for?” I ask fearfully.
“This,” The Oscillion says and swings his palm out. A blade seems to appear right from the middle of his hand. I stare wide eyed at it.
“Try to hit me,” he says.
“Hit you? I—”
“Do it,” he says flatly.
I swing at him, halfhearted. My limbs still feel new and different. But when my forearm connects with his it feels like I just ran full speed into a steel pole.
“Ow, what the—” I look closely at The Oscillion’s arm. Metallic spiderwebs crisscross over his flesh.
“I don’t get it,” I say, shaking my head. “Is it a weapon…or armor?”
“It is both,” The Oscillion says proudly. “And now you have it as well.”
“That…that stuff is inside me?” I question shakily.
“Inside you, coating your bones and nervous system. Before you learn how to control it you may struggle with the problem of intention.”
“The problem of intention?” I parrot. “Does this stuff have a mind of its own?” I ask, dismayed.
“No, absolutely not. It has your mind, or your brainstem, to be more accurate. The primitive part of you that instinctively knows when to fight. I must warn you, you must be careful. In the beginning a strong emotion and a swift movement can easily impale a person.”
“It can do what now?” I exclaim, jumping to my feet.
“Center yourself, V. Becoming too excitable can be a danger even to yourself at this early stage of acclimation.”
“Oh my God…” I murmur. I want to hang my head in my hands, but I’m scared of poking my damn eyes out.
“Enough wallowing. First flag is in two days. That is when your next mission begins.” He helps me to my feet. Every one of my movemen
ts is stunted by caution. I’m like a feeble old lady as I try to keep this weapon inside me at bay.
“What do you want from me now?” I ask, dejected.
“I want you to kill for me.”
I let out a long sigh and struggle to steady myself against the exam table. “Please. Please, you can’t be serious. I don’t want this. I’m not a killer,” I plead, even though I know I have no advocate in The Oscillion.
“All evidence points to the contrary. Besides, V, you are a rising star amongst my ranks. I implore you, for your own wellbeing, come to peace with that and all the wonderful things it could mean for you.”
“And Dax? What about him?”
“I haven’t forgotten my promise. I will allow you to speak with him after you prepare for your mission. And besides, I think this task might hold some meaning for you personally as well.”
I look at this awful man. This awful, selfish man. What good is an outright refusal when I’m this man’s slave? What good would refusing do me when my master holds the only thing I hold dear as leverage over me?
“I want you to kill a rival of mine. He is the second in command for someone even you may have heard of. A crime lord by the name of Ju’tok Magoh?”
I frown. “Why have I heard that name before?”
“Likely because he is at the very center of the human slave trade. It was his men who stole you from your planet.”
I hate to admit it, but he has my full attention now.
“Doesn’t that sound lovely? Wouldn’t you enjoy getting some revenge? Now’s your chance for it and an opportunity for me to expand my empire.”
“And once your rival is dead? What’s your plan then?” I question.
“Then there is only one male who stands in my way,” he replies.
“You plan to kill this Magoh guy too? You’ll actually be able to stop the human slave trade?”
The Oscillion laughs. “Stop the slave trade? Sweet V, I will run the slave trade and be rich beyond my wildest dreams.”
“What about humans?” I ask.
“What about humans?” He shrugs.
“I thought you said you didn’t abide by rape. Don’t you get what’s going to be happening to all of those people?”
“You seem to misunderstand me, V, and I prefer to be abundantly clear. I would not rape you because I find the act repugnant and I would not allow anyone else to rape you without the most severe of consequences. However, that is not because you are a female or in the image of the goddesses. That is because you belong to me. I do not care what masters choose to do to their slaves as long as they pay me for it first. Listen to me, I’m offering you a chance to exact revenge on those who wronged you, but we aren’t setting out on a mission of goodwill to change the galaxy. This is strictly business. My business.”
“How can you be so evil? How can you allow this to go on, especially when you’re in a position to actually end it? You say rape is distasteful in one breath and then turn around and condone it in the next? What if this were your people? Would you be so blasé and uncaring then?”
“I am one of the last of my people, and let me tell you, V, there’s nothing left to rape anymore. Such is life.”
“And that’s it? That’s how you’re going to justify it? People get fucked, now it’s my planet’s turn? Tough luck?”
He stares me down.
“I can see you are still trying to acclimate, V, which is why I allow these liberties you take, but do you truly believe your foolish outbursts are going to make me change my mind? That they will somehow make me want to relinquish billions of credits that could be mine?”
“And what do you think? That you’re going to turn me into a killer and one day I’m going to wake up and realize I like it?” I scoff at him with all my venom and hatred. “You’ve kidnapped me, enslaved me, but more importantly, you stole from me. You stole the one good fucking thing in this universe and you’re the fool if you think I’ll ever forget it.”
He levels me with his gaze, cold and hard. “Do not forget, V, I see you for who you really are, even if you do not. I will mold you into everything you have ever wanted to be but have been too afraid to even dream of. Mark me, the day will come that you will thank me for it,” he growls, inches from my face. Despite myself, I tremble, scared of what he will force me to do and scared that he isn’t wrong.
“It is time to train,” he says, rising.
“Where’s Narron?”
“Narron will not be able to assist you in this endeavor. I am the only one on this planet who can instruct you on your new skill set. But do not worry, you will see our friend Narron before too long.” He pauses to laugh a cruel laugh and I’m left feeling like there is some terrible joke I’ve missed. “You have become something of a legend here on Quar V, and unfortunately, you won’t be able to carry out the task assigned to you without a proper disguise. But it is not yet time for that. For now, follow me.”
I struggle to get to my feet as The Oscillion turns away from me. I hear his footfalls receding down a hallway as I work to stand. Every movement I make feels weighted and unbalanced.
“When do you expect me to kill this guy?” I call out ahead of me.
“You have two days,” is his distant reply.
Hah. “Sorry to break it to you, Osc, but it’ll take me longer than that to learn to walk again!”
“It better fucking not!”
Chapter 41
V
To call what The Oscillion and I do “training” would be a joke. A bad joke, one that I’m most definitely the butt of this time. I wouldn’t even put this “training” in the realm of the fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants stuff Narron leads by throwing home decor at me.
Nope, the Oscillion just wanted me to meditate. And honestly, I would have rather he beat my ass in a fistfight. I’m sorry, but I have too much crap going on in my head right now to sit still and practice deep breathing techniques.
My afternoon with The Oscillion passes painfully slowly. I’m left alone with my thoughts, sitting across from this terrible fiend. He’s going to make me kill someone. I have killed someone. I would have killed all of Drykn’s men if it came down to it. And I’ll kill whoever The Oscillion asks me to if it means Dax and I will live another day.
Dax…poor Dax, waiting for a rescue that will never come. I know that wherever he is he’s living with hope in his heart. It’s a dream, though, a dream that I’ll never be able to live up to. All I can offer him is life. Surviving at all costs, or surviving despite the costs, is the only thing I’m good at. Heroism just doesn’t seem to be in my blood. I’ll get to see him, though, to talk to him at least. I start trembling at the idea. The last day we saw each other we made love. It’s been weeks since then. A stupid, frivolous girl thought crosses my mind. What if he’s forgotten about me?
“Still yourself,” The Oscillion hums from his side of the room, his eyes closed and his body motionless.
I huff at him.
“That is not the breathing I showed you.”
“No shit,” I mumble.
“Silence.”
I sit for a while longer, staring at him. Hating him.
“Close your eyes,” he commands, though his own eyes are shut.
“How do you even know I’m looking at you?”
“You are so obnoxious in your endeavor I can practically hear you looking at me.”
“Fine.” I make another effort toward calm, if not peace. But my mind wanders quickly. I’m sitting here in this opulent room in The Oscillion’s fortress. More than a dozen guards are lined up in the hallway, just outside the door. Dax is likely somewhere here, somewhere in this building and yet unreachable without The Oscillion’s permission.
He’ll hate me, I think, when he discovers how often I’ve been here and still, I haven’t made an attempt to rescue him. If they tell him I killed someone he’ll probably hate me for that too.
What would Dax do if he were in my shoes? He’d try to save me somehow. But the
n again, he’s lived in this world and knows how to navigate it. Me, on the other hand, I wouldn’t even know how to find him, nor would I know how to get him out of here. I think of the guards in the hall, their boots stomping as they chased me, and me not knowing where to go or what to do. No one is on my side anymore.
“Enough!” The Oscillion says, raising his voice.
“What now?”
“What now? What now, you ask? You are supposed to be concentrating on the deadly weapon I have just had installed into your nervous system. Instead your mind is racing, as well as your heart, and you are clearly not thinking of the task I’ve assigned to you.”