Love Me or Leave Me Alone 3

by Nikisha Mock

  On the entire ride home, I had flashbacks of making love to Bryce. I wasn’t prepared for the bullshit I was about to have to deal with at home. I had no idea what was even going to come of this thing that had started with Bryce but I knew it would get intense.

  As I pulled into my driveway, I could see the living room light on and another light upstairs in my room. Instead of feeling guilty, I felt sick to my stomach. I didn’t want to see Tyler. I didn’t want to hear his sorry as excuses. I didn’t want my mama upset any more than she probably already was. I wanted to drive away but I knew that was stupid. This was my house. I cut the engine and got out, ready to face the music. Ready for war if necessary. Tyler had messed with the wrong chick tonight.

  “Eva! Oh baby I’m so glad you’re alright!” my mama said as she embraced me in a big bear hug.

  “I’m sorry, Mama. I won’t ever do that again, I promise,” I said, feeling like total shit.

  “It’s okay. I’m glad you’re home now. I can go on back to bed,” she said. She kissed me on my cheek then went back to the guest room.

  As I walked up the stairs, my feet felt so heavy. It was like I was in a scary movie. The closer I got to the top, the further away it seemed like it was. I walked into my bedroom. Ty was sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. He looked up at me. His eyes were bloodshot red. He looked so sad. I couldn’t give two shits. If anything, I should have been the one looking torn. I walked right past him into the bathroom. As I was turning on the shower, he appeared in the doorway. He scared the shit out of me when he spoke.

  “Baby,” is all he said.

  I froze in place. I wasn’t ready for the bullshit. Not tonight, not with my mama downstairs and the kids up here asleep.

  “Ty, the best thing you can do right now is leave me the hell alone,” I said in a harsh but even tone, never once turning around to address him or look at him.

  “Eva, please. Don’t shut me out.”

  “What does that mean, Ty? You’re the one that’s clearly been foul. You can’t deny what I saw with my own eyes. So what exactly is there to say?” I yelled. I didn’t mean too but fuck it, he provoked me.

  “I know it looked bad. I know it did. I don’t even know how to explain it. But when I tell you that I have never laid hands on that girl, I really hope you believe me.”

  Was he for real?

  “I do not believe that. Nothing you can say will change that, Ty. If you’re not fucking with her then why were you out with her, huh?” I could not believe he was starting things off with that lie.

  “I asked you to marry me. I come home every night to you. I have not even looked at another woman sideways except you. I don’t have the time for those types of games. If I wanted to be with her, I could be. I would be.”

  “None of that ever stopped a wayward dick from wandering. I trusted you, Ty. Even after all that I have been through in the past, it was different with you. I believed everything you ever told me. I never questioned you, even when that mess happened with Karen. When you told me what it was, I believed you, no questions asked. But tonight? Nah, that was on a whole different level. Let’s not forget that this is not the first time you have been caught in a compromising position with this same chick. So please save that for someone else. I am not trying to hear it.” I was fighting tears. I was mad at myself for it. Not only did I not want to cry right now but I was also feeling like the biggest hypocrite.

  He sighed and shook his head. He was looking at the floor. When he looked up at me, I saw a look in his eyes that I had never seen before. It made my breath catch in my throat.

  “I know it looked fucked up. I know it did. When I tell you that I never fucked that girl, I expect you to believe me. I’m not gonna keep sitting here repeating it. Have I talked to her before, yeah I have. She pops up everywhere her friend does because Jay is fucking with her friend. Tonight, when Jay asked me if I wanted to go out for drinks I had no idea those girls were gonna show up. She was there when I got there. I could have spazzed and left but I really didn’t see the big deal because the only woman I want is you, Eva. Should I have left? Yeah, I probably should have. That is the only thing I’m apologizing for. Now you can take that for what it’s worth or not but I ain’t gonna keep trying to explain this shit to you. I told you what’s up already.”

  I thought I was going to pass out. I started breathing heavily. I couldn’t catch my breath. My entire body starting getting hot. I felt faint. Ty ran over to me and grabbed me. If he hadn’t I would have fell. Was he telling the truth? He seemed to be real sincere about it. Oh my God, what had I done?

  Chapter 15

  Ciara

  When I got home, all I wanted to do was crash. Jay had been blowing my phone up and so had Darren. I realized that I hadn’t really talked to Darren since I found out I was pregnant and honestly, now was not the time for me to talk to him. I decided to turn my phone off and deal with all of that tomorrow. I knew Jay had bumped his damn head for even thinking about calling my phone. I made a mental note to block his number as soon as I woke up.

  Everything that had happened tonight was crazy. I tried to jump on Jay as if I could really beat him. Eva had caught Tyler with another woman. I think we were all thrown off by that one. The man put a ring on her finger. Didn’t that matter to him at all? I really didn’t see that one coming and I know my girl didn’t.

  There are some truly scandalous women out there but these men never cease to freaking amaze me. People need to go back to when we were kids and remember the real marriages that many of the old folks had. How many people did we know that had parents and grandparents that had been married for longer than we had been alive? Even through all the bad times, they still made it work and they valued family. Nowadays people disregard other people’s feelings and do whatever the hell they want too without considering the hearts they were breaking and the lives they were ruining.

  I rubbed my stomach at that moment and realized that I had no business bringing another life into this world when I didn’t even know what I wanted to do with my own life. It wasn’t fair and I knew it but I made up my mind right then and there that I wasn’t going to have this baby. I never thought I would ever be in a position to want to have an abortion but right now, I really didn’t feel like I had a choice. I cried and cried and then I cried some more. I felt dizzy and then I felt like I was having a panic attack.

  This was all so damn unreal! I wasn’t going to be cliché and wonder why me because I knew why me. Nobody forced me to do anything so I knew what the chances were that I could get pregnant. I always thought it would be me and Jay raising a family and living happily ever after and me. I really hated Jay now. I don’t know how I almost fell back into that nonsense with him. Whatever it was is truly a wrap now though. Jay showed his true colors one too many times and now I finally believed him. He was never the man for me and I should have known that but blame it on my foolish heart.

  Darren had his own situation he needed to deal with. No. I needed to focus on me for a change. I was doing that and doing it well until that day I ran into Darren on the street. I should have kept walking. I knew it wasn’t fair to be counting him out already but I wasn’t feeling the mess he had going on and he needed to handle all that first before I considered anything further with him.

  I pulled the covers way up and turned on my side. There were no lights on and no TV. All I had were my thoughts to consume me. I knew sleep wouldn’t come easy but I had to try. First thing Monday morning I was making an appointment at the clinic. Maybe Yanna would go with me, I was thinking. I fell asleep thinking of the huge mess I had made and wondering what my next move would be.

  Chapter 16

  Star

  Shit had popped off before my night even got started. We had a few drinks together. That was fun but it was over way to quickly for me. I was glad the girls were alright but I came out so I definitely wasn’t ready to go home. I spotted a spot I wanted to go in so I headed that way. It was
late but the bars didn’t close till the early hours of the morning so I figured I could still get in a few drinks before I went home.

  I walked in the bar, found one last stool left, and took it before anyone else could. It was a cool little spot. Laid back and kind of chill, like my mood for the night. I asked the bartender for a Henny and Coke. I decided to go straight for the hard stuff. That way it would take fewer drinks to get me right then I could take my ass on back home.

  “Excuse me, somebody sitting here?” I heard a soft voice say.

  I turned to see who it was. I’m sure my mouth was wide open even though I tried to stay cool. Baby girl was bad! I’m talking about Nia Long, Taraji Henson type bad. She had a real short haircut that fit her face perfectly. She was wearing ripped jeans and a little black tank that stopped above her naval, exposing her sexy ass belly ring. The tank read “Dope” on the front in red letters. I let my eyes roam further. I noticed she had a tattoo on the right side of her neck but I couldn’t really see what it said. She had one of those earrings chicks wear that had a chain running from her ear lobe up to a cuff that was around the top of her ear. The other earring was a round stud. She had a small nose ring that accented her little cute nose real good. I was feeling her. All she had done was ask me a question.

  “Hey. You good?” she asked, snapping her fingers in my face, snapping me out of my daze.

  “Oh, my bad ma. I’m good. Nah, nobody is sitting there. You good,” I said, trying to regain my cool because I had to look lame as hell staring at her like that.

  “Whew, good! These shoes are killing me. I really needed to sit down,” she said as I was watching how her ass spread out when she sat down on the barstool. Damn, shorty was bad. Her skin was like smooth caramel. I noticed she had a few more tats on her left arm.

  “I’m Reign, what’s your name?” she said. I was having trouble finding my damn voice.

  “Oh, wassup, Reign. I’m Star,” I finally said. I was mad as hell at myself for acting like a teenager with a crush. Damn, she had me tripping hard.

  “Well, Star, you here by yourself? Why you keep looking at me like that? You here with somebody or something?” she asked as she laughed. Damn. Busted.

  “Nah, girl I’m good. I’m by myself. Ain’t nobody looking at you no type of way,” I laughed like a lame ass, trying to blow it off.

  The bartender put my drink down in front of me in time for me to take a swig so I could keep from saying anything else corny. This wasn’t like me at all.

  She laughed. “Well okay, then. Hey, bartender, can I get a peach Ciroc and a shot of Patron, please?”

  “Two for one, huh? Rough night?” I asked, still looking at her.

  “Not really. I was bored at home so I said fuck it and decided to come down here, get a few drinks then call it a night. What about you?”

  “I’m good. I was supposed to meet my homegirls down here but some extreme bullshit popped off as soon as I got here. I made sure they were good then we kind went our separate ways but I wasn’t ready to go home so, here I am,” I shrugged.

  “Lucky me,” she said as the bartender handed her the drinks.

  She licked her hand, put salt on it, and then she took the Patron shot, licked her hand again, and then sucked on the lime the bartender had given her with her shot. When she stock out her tongue, I noticed the lime green tongue ring she had. It had been a minute since I had got immediately turned on by somebody but Reign did something to me.

  “Is that right? Why so lucky?” I said because I honestly couldn’t think of anything else cool to say.

  “Because then I wouldn’t be able to chill with you tonight,” she smiled at me.

  I took notice to the cute little dimples she had in each cheek. I was a real sucker for dimples. Her eyes were brown but not dark brown. They were lighter. When the flashing lights in the club hit her eyes, I could really see their true color. She was crazy pretty. I liked her style.

  “Who said I wanted to chill with yo ass?” I said, returning to myself for a minute. Couldn’t let no chick punk me.

  “You ain’t gotta say it. I already know,” she said as she licked her lips. Damn. I was getting wet every time she opened her mouth.

  “Whatcha trying to do then?”

  She downed the last of her Ciroc then stood up. “Let’s go,” she said.

  Without another word, I was up. I followed her to her car. I was immediately impressed. She was driving a bad ass all black BMW. Shorty was fly. Her ride was too.

  “You riding with me or you want me to take you to your car?” she asked.

  “Take me to my car. You might have a crazy chick or nigga or something. I can’t be hemmed up like that,” I chuckled but I was dead ass serious.

  “You’re funny. Get in.”

  Once I got to my car, she waited for me to start it up then we were on our way to wherever. I had no clue. I didn’t care. Reign was bad, I was lonely, and I hadn’t had any good-good in a while. So I followed her. I threw on some Jeezy to match my mood. I checked to make sure I had my piece just in case because. I wasn’t a dummy.

  We pulled up to this real nice apartment complex, the kind with a gate code to enter. I was feeling it. I was glad as hell I hadn’t taken Reign back to my shitty apartment. When we walked inside, again, I was impressed. She had some of the hottest furniture I had ever seen. She had this real nice kitchen table. All four chairs were a different color. Her living room set was similar with a red loveseat, royal blue couch, and burnt orange chaise lounge. She had a big picture of Bob Marley hanging over her fireplace. I noticed a few other pieces of art.

  “Make yourself at home while I go change,” she said.

  I looked over at her bookshelf. Reign had a big collection of books, most of them I never read but I did notice a few familiar author names like E. Lynn Harris, Eric Jerome Dickey, and Lolita Files. When I was in prison, I had plenty of time on my hands. One day somebody handed me a book. It was an urban joint. I was feeling it. After that, I read everything I could until my little bid was up.

  Reign came back in the living room in some little boy shorts and a sports bra. When she turned around to sit down on the couch beside me, I got a peek at her ass cheeks hanging out. I had the sudden urge to smack it but I didn’t. She had a real nice tattoo on her back too. I wanted to see more of it so I asked her to sit up. It was a bunch of roses on a vine that twisted from her left shoulder all the way down to above her right ass cheek. I couldn’t resist touching it. She arched her back a little when I touched her and looked back at me.

  “Chill, girl. I’m checking out your ink. That’s pretty dope,” I told her. She relaxed.

  “Thanks. I want it to come around to my side then down my leg. Maybe one day. This shit hurt!” she said. We laughed.

  She pulled out some weed and asked if I smoked. I held up my own pre-rolled blunt. No offense to her but I didn’t know her. Therefore, I wasn’t smoking her shit. I would settle for my own.

  “Okay, I see you then. So what’s up, Star? Tell me something about yourself,” she smiled as she commenced to rolling a J.

  I thought that was cute. I watched as her little fingers twisted up the rolling papers. She was a pro. That much I could tell. We would get along real good.

  “Whatcha wanna know? Ain’t much to tell really. I’m twenty-four. I work at a strip club. I’m just tryin’ to make it. What about you?”

  “A strip club? You strip?” she said with a shocked look on her face. I looked at her like she was crazy. We cracked up laughing.

  “Hell nah, I ain’t no damn stripper. You tried it. I’m a bartender. It’s a little something that keeps me out of trouble. Well, most of the time.”

  “Most of the time, huh? Yeah, I bet.”

  She walked over to where her phone was. She messed around with it for a little bit then some Bob Marley started playing from this big speaker thing she had sitting on a table. Reign started gyrating to the beat while looking at me. I sparked my blunt and inhaled. I didn
’t take my eyes off her. She rubbed her hands across her cute little titties. I smirked. When I was really getting into it, she laughed then came back over to sit down beside me.

  “Aye, why you stop?” I laughed.

  “Please, you see titties and asses clapping every night. You’re not checking for my amateur ass,” she said as she held her hand out for my lighter. I lit her J then looked at her.

  “I don’t give two shits about those hoes at the club. Downtown Al’s got some hot chicks, but I made it my point to not fuck with none of them ever again. Once was enough,” I told her, thinking about Indigo for a split second but I shook it off. She was my past. That’s where her ass was gonna stay.

  “No more, huh? Must have had a real bad experience,” she said through tight lips as she exhaled.

  “Bad enough. But forget all that. Don’t think I didn’t notice that you still ain’t told me shit about you. So spill it,” I said. She laughed.

  “I mean, like you said there ain’t much to tell. I’m twenty-two. I study art at the community college. I got a little job at Starbucks on campus but it’s enough for me to play with. I got my own money though so I’m good.”

  I wondered what she meant by that. I didn’t press the issue though. I was starting to feel the weed. The only thing on my mind was sticking my head straight between her legs. Reign was doing something to me.

  “Why do you keep looking at me like that?” she giggled a little. I could tell I was making her nervous but I didn’t mean too.

  “You’re so beautiful. I think you know that, though.”

  “I don’t even think about it like that. I’m me, Plain old Reign.”

  “Baby girl trust me, you might be a lot of things that I have yet to find out but plain ain’t one of them.”

  She looked at me for a minute. I couldn’t really tell what was on her mind. She stood up then she straddled me. She put her arms on my shoulders and kissed me without saying a word. I cupped her ass with both hands then grabbed the back of her neck and kissed her right back. She broke the kiss and looked at me. She had put her hair up in a ponytail. It looked real cute sitting at the top of her head. She smiled at me. Out came those dimples again.