by Simone Elise
“I don’t think there is a point.”
“You need to start taking better care of yourself. You are pregnant.”
“Really? I didn’t know why my stomach was getting bigger.” I wanted to roll my eyes.
Dad’s hand cupped my jaw, and he forced me to look him in the eye.
“You will be a fantastic mother. What you’ve done for me will never be forgotten, and I’ll repay you back one day.”
“You don’t owe me anything, Dad. You would have done it for me.”
“Well, if I can’t pay you back, I want you to tell me you will be keeping this baby.”
I couldn’t do that. I shook my head.
“Abby. You might think you don’t deserve him, but all he will want in life is your love and approval. Two things I know you are capable of.”
“I just don’t want to screw him up.” I teared up again. “I fail at everything. I screw up any good thing that comes my way. Look at what I did to Kade! That was all me. I’m not sure if I’m capable of loving him back anymore.”
“Don’t drown in regrets, Abby. Don’t let Blake take you away from this world when you have so much to live for and so much to give. You, Abigail Harrison, are stronger than that.”
“So you are telling me one day I’ll wake up and want to face the day?”
“I’m telling you that as of tomorrow, you won’t wake up thinking the worst is going to happen. You’ll start to look forward to the days ahead of you again.”
“What about Kade? Will I be capable of giving him what he wants?” Here I was treating my Dad like he could look in a crystal ball and tell me my life was going to get better.
“You already are.” He helped me up. “Now I want you to get some sleep. You look like you haven’t had any for a while.”
“Sleep is a luxury.” And that was downplaying it. “I think I’ve had one good night sleep in over a month. And that was only because I was sleeping with Kade.”
“Well, I’m sure I can order my VP to go to bed with you for an afternoon.”
I smiled. The first real smile in I didn’t know how long. “I think I’ll manage without him.”
“Have you been?”
Had I been managing without Kade? Every day I thought of him. Every day I was reminded of what I lost. Every night I'd find myself dwelling on how I had lost him. All the things I'd take back to get him back. The answer was so easy it just slipped from my lips.
“No.”
Dad smiled at me. “Come on. You're going to bed. You want to eat before or after?”
“I'm really not hungry.” But I would kill for sleep.
Dad held the study door open for me, and immediately I felt the tension in the air. Looks like everyone had been waiting for World War Three, not expecting Dad to be a softie. He gave me a kiss on the head and pushed me in the direction of the stairs.
I was so tired I just let my feet guide me to my room. I was on autopilot. I heard Dad bark at them, asking what they were looking at, when I was halfway up the stairs. I smiled again. No one was expecting Dad to go soft. But from the way I heard him start barking at them and ordering a beer, I knew he wasn't showing them the side I had just seen.
I opened my bedroom door and went to my bed, dropping the packed bags on the floor. It's funny, all I could focus on this morning was running. Now, well, now I didn't know what I was running from.
Was I running from the baby?
From Kade?
From the gang?
I knew the real answer – I was trying to run from my past. I grabbed a long tee shirt from my wardrobe and kicked off my jeans and top and threaded the long top on.
Sleep. I could do that, couldn't I?
My body needed it. It was basically shutting down from exhaustion.
There was a knock on my door and I opened it.
Kade.
“I didn't hear any yelling, so I'm guessing it went alright?” He stood in the doorway with a warm smile on his face.
That smile melted any walls I had up. I nodded my head. “Dad was actually calm about it all. But he has ordered me to sleep.”
“That's why I'm here.” Kade walked in, closing the door behind him and kicking off his boots. My eyes went wide. Dad had been joking about ordering his VP to sleep with me, wasn't he?
“You're not seriously going to spend the afternoon watching me sleep, are you?”
“Couldn't think of a better way to spend my day.”
“Kade, you have more important things to do than watch me sleep!”
“Will you sleep if I'm not here?”
I pursed my lips. Why the hell did he already know the answer to that question?
“No.”
“Then I’m not leaving.”
“I don't expect you to do this.” I put my hands on my hips. “I don't expect anything from you.”
“Just get into bed, Abby, before I make you.” He would have no problem whatsoever about dragging me to bed. Which is the only reason I sighed and gave up walking to the bed and throwing the blankets back.
“You know this is pointless. I can't sleep.”
I lay down, moving the pillow under my head. I felt the dip of the bed next to me. His arm wrapped around me and he dragged me back to him.
“You’ll sleep.” His voice was low and he kissed the back of my head, sliding his other arm under it. His other hand was on my thigh. He had pushed my top up and was drawing calming circles on my skin.
“I haven't been.”
“Yeah, no wonder, after what you've been doing.” He spoke like he knew what it was like to be awake with the demon known as regret and how you couldn't get the image of their body dropping out of your head.
“Kade?”
“Mm?”
I turned on his arm, wanting to look him in the face. Needing to see his real reaction when I asked him.
“Can I leave with you?”
His face softened. “Did you really think I was ever planning on leaving without you?”
“So you want me to come?” Was he sure about this? I didn't see leaving home as a big deal. I wanted to. No. Needed to get out of this town. But was he ready for a relationship that was full time?
“I've been putting off leaving because I didn't want to leave without you.”
“So I'm the reason you haven't left?”
He nodded his head. “I've been trying to come up with a way to get you back.”
“Even though I told you we were over?”
He tucked my hair behind my ear. “Just say I'm stubborn when I want something.”
I rested my head on his chest and his arms wrapped around me. “Thanks for not giving up on me.” I had given up on myself. I had been so set on all this with Blake blowing up in my face. I never thought to think what would happen if it didn't.
“You need to sleep, Abby.” He ran his hand down my spine, and it was so relaxing being touched by him. I snuggled in closer, breathing in his scent. I felt safe. I felt whole. But most of all, I felt like I had found the piece I had been missing these last couple of months. Like the missing puzzle piece was found and now my heart was back together.
“You should go,” I yawned. “I'm basically exhausted. You can go.”
“I know I can. But I don't want to.”
I yawned again and ran my hand down his arm which was wrapped around me.
He was running his fingers under my top, down my back on my welcoming skin. It was warm and comforting. And the more I focused on it, the more my eyelids got heavy.
“I love you, Kade,” I whispered into his chest just before I was completely lost by his touch.
***
God, I was warm and comfortable. I opened my eyes, smiling immediately when seeing Kade asleep. It was either the early hours of the morning or the middle of the night, because the room was dark and I hadn’t shut the curtains last night.
I slowly slipped out of Kade’s arms and got up. My stomach was grumbling for food, seeing as I hadn’t eaten in I di
dn’t know how long. I grabbed my phone. My stomach had woke me up, otherwise I was sure I would have slept longer.
I took my long tee shirt off and put on shorts and a strapless top and grabbed my keys just in case there wasn’t anything in the kitchen.
I took one last glance at Kade before closing my bedroom door softly.
I was heading for the kitchen. Hopefully someone had done groceries. Before, I used to help Kim do them. But as soon as all the shit happened with Blake, I stopped pulling my weight around the club.
I flicked the lights on in the kitchen and lit up my phone, checking the time. Six in the morning. Which meant I had slept for seventeen hours. My body had been really exhausted.
I opened the fridge and groaned, seeing it empty. Ok fine. I was desperate. I’d settle for cereal. I opened the cupboards. Nothing edible. Why had no one done the shopping?
I knew the supermarket would be open. All I wanted was food. I groaned. Did I go do the shopping? Or did I just head to the first takeaway outlet?
Takeaway. My stomach didn’t like the sound of that.
Seems like I was off to do groceries.
Chapter 22
Reaper
I woke up to her gone and I automatically went into panic mode. She hadn’t run away, her bags were still on the floor. But just because she hadn’t run didn’t mean she wasn’t going to. I knew she wasn’t thinking clearly yet. I still hadn’t had time to get through to her, to help her accept what she had been dealing with.
Make her see that she was fit to be a mother. I was half expecting to have to send every man out looking for her when I heard her laughing as I rounded the corner into the kitchen.
She was eating and laughing with Brad. She was still here. She hadn’t run.
I didn’t know what Brad and she were talking about, but it was the first time I had heard her laugh in months.
Her eyes looked over Brad’s shoulder and she spotted me.
“Morning, Kade.” She got up. “You hungry?”
“You’ve been cooking?”
“Yep.”
“So you’ve eaten?” I didn’t believe she had eaten willingly. I was positive I’d have to force-feed her, the way she had been avoiding food.
“Don’t sound so shocked.” She went to lick her thumb. But I was quicker, taking her thumb in my mouth, my hands grabbing her hips and pulling her to me.
“Jam?” I finished licking her thumb.
She smirked. “You hungry?”
“Not for food.”
“I’m going before this gets R-rated.” Brad pushed the chair back, getting up. “Thanks for pancakes, Abby.”
“No worries, Brad.” Abby’s eyes hadn’t left mine. “Sure you don’t want pancakes?”
Brad was gone, leaving me alone with my pregnant girlfriend. I ran my hands down her sides, gripping her by the hips and lifting her onto the table. “Not hungry.”
“You look hungry.”
“Like I said, not for food.”
“I’m not having sex in the kitchen.”
I groaned. “Why not?”
She laughed. “I thought you would have had enough of me by now.” She dipped her head, looking me in the eye. “Sorry for wasting your day yesterday.”
“I don’t see spending time with you as wasting time.” The truth was nothing was as important as her. “So you’ve eaten, slept. Are you feeling better?”
“Is that your way of asking if I’ve decided to keep the baby?” She looked at me, knowing exactly what I wanted to know. Had she decided? Had I done enough yet to make her want to have my child? I knew it had been a day. But surely she knew by now, I wasn’t letting her go.
“Yes.”
She sighed, running a hand down my jaw, looking at me as if I had asked her the hardest question in the world.
“Come on, Abby, we can do this.” I had so much faith in her. She was capable of being a mother. Hell, she was more than capable. “I’ll be right there with you.”
“Always?” She looked me squarely in the eye. “You can’t leave me when things get hard.”
“Have I ever left you when things got hard?”
She shook her head. “No.”
“So do you really think I would leave you now or ever?”
“My heart is saying no, but my brain is telling me it is impossible for you to promise me that.”
“Just say yes. Say you want this baby as much as me.”
“I never pictured myself keeping this baby, Kade. As soon as shit started with Blake, I knew I only had one option, and that was to give this baby up. But…”
“But?” I prompted her to keep going
She smiled. “But I prefer the idea of starting a family with you.”
“So that’s a yes?”
“It’s a yes.”
I grinned and couldn’t stop myself from kissing her. “I’m going to have a son.”
“You are.” She grinned back at me. “Most guys would be terrified about this. Hell, especially a biker. Being committed to something, or more importantly someone, is meant to be your biggest fear.”
“I’ve already faced my biggest fear.” I dragged her closer to me. “And that was living without you.”
“You’re going soft, Kade.”
“Only when it comes to you and our baby.” My hand went to her stomach. I wasn’t joking when I told her I had faced my fear. Being without her was, hands down, the worst time of my life. Watching her with another man, it was a slow and painful torture.
She linked her arms around my neck and brought my head to hers. “So this is what it feels like to have the man you love loving you back.”
“I’ve always loved you back.” I was going to kiss her to remind her of that when a throat clearing had me pulling back.
“See you two are awake.” Roach walked in. “Abby, we need to talk about that tattoo on your shoulder.” Roach went to the coffee machine.
Abby let go of me, and I preferred her wrapped around me. I helped her off the table.
“You mean the tattoo that is permanent, Dad?” she said.
“How many times did I tell you NOT to get a tattoo? And that,” He pointed at her, “is worse than a bloody picture.”
“I stand by my decision.”
Roach scoffed. “Next you will be telling me the two of you are getting married.”
I shrugged my shoulders. I had thought about it and Abby’s eyes went wide, like it was impossible for me to have thought about it. She looked incredibly nervous all of a sudden and it made me smile.
“So Reaper, have you decided when you are leaving? You know you can’t put it off any longer.” Roach looked at me.
“I’ll be heading out as soon as Abby is cleared to travel.” I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her back to my chest.
“So you’ve decided to go with him, Abby?”
“Yep.”
“And about the baby?” Roach looked at her, wanting an answer.
“You will have a grandson.”
And just hearing that had me grinning. She wasn’t back to herself yet, but I knew she was coming back to me. Agreeing to keep the baby was the first step. Helping her come back from the hell she had been through was next.
“I’m happy to hear that, but,” he pointed his coffee mug at her, “I’m not happy with the tattoo.”
“Doesn’t matter, Dad. It’s not coming off.” Abby sounded happy about that. “And you can’t give me a lecture when you have Mom’s name.”
“I never made her get mine though.” Roach looked at me as if I was the one to force Abby to get it.
“Reaper had nothing to do with it. Hell, he didn’t even know I got it.”
“Yeah, and now it’s never covered!”
“So?”
“So,” Roach looked between us. “You two are never solid. Making a commitment like that is a big deal.”
“Well, I’ve made it.” Abby pushed away from my arms. “Now I’m going to give Kim a lecture about letting the kitch
en get so low on food.” She turned and kissed me on my cheek. “I’ll see you later.”
And she was gone, leaving me with Roach.
I doubted that Abby was even halfway up the passage before Roach’s eyes narrowed at me.
“You going to look after her?”
“Always have, always will.”
“You going to look after my grandson?”
“You already know the answer to that.”
“I wouldn’t let Abby just leave and start a family with anyone.”
“This your way of saying you are giving me your approval, Prez?” I smirked.
“Stop smirking. Just because I’m letting her go doesn’t mean I won’t drag her back as soon as you fuck up.”
“Not fucking this up.” And I meant it. I was going to make sure that the happiness I had just seen in her eyes stayed. I was going to make sure that hollowness and emptiness was gone forever. I wouldn’t stop till she was back to herself.
And seeing that happiness in her eyes minutes ago proved to me she was coming back.
Chapter 23
Kim
I don’t know how Reaper did it, but the cold, distant Abby was gone. She had slowly come back to herself. She was back helping out around the club, and they seemed stronger than normal. In fact, they were glued to each other.
And it was starting to piss me off. I was starting to miss not seeing them together.
“Oh for the last fucking time, would you two stop it,” I fumed, slapping my magazine down and glaring at them.
Abby laughed and just curled in tighter to Reaper. The two were making me sick. Always kissing, always cuddling, and Abby had taken to always sitting on him. Which I don’t know why he wasn’t complaining, seeing she was five months pregnant.
“Oh Kim, you really need to get laid.” Abby just smirked at me from her boyfriend’s lap.
Had she taken to the idea of being a mom well? Yeah, she had. Reaper was more protective of her now than ever. When she wasn’t clinging to his side, she was being watched by someone that Reaper had roped into watching her. So needless to say, Reaper didn’t take chances when it came to Abby.
Abby was number one.
The club came second.
“Whatever, fatty,” I muttered, picking up a beer.
The two were leaving this weekend. Reaper had taken the President Patch for an old charter. He had convinced Brad into being his Vice President, so he was leaving too.