by Simone Elise
I reached out to her and wrapped her in my arms, pressing her body hard against mine. She melted like butter against me, resting her head on my chest.
“I missed you.” She spoke into my chest.
“I never thought I would hear you say that.”
She twisted in my arms, popping her head out to look up at me. “Why? You didn’t honestly expect me to walk away from you? I love you, Kade. You might be the Reaper, but you’re my Reaper, and the father to our son.”
“You’re something special, you know that, Abby Harrison?” I brushed the side of her face and tucked her hair behind her ear.
She intertwined her hand with mine and pulled on me to follow. I kicked my boots off and followed her up the stairs. She pushed our bedroom door open and let go of my hand, grabbing something off the bed and putting it in the drawer next to her side.
“Sorry to pull you away from the party.” She looked up at me with a guilty expression. “I was going to wait until morning, but then I didn’t know how hungover you would be.”
I leaned against the doorframe, watching her. “I wasn’t partying. I was in the study, and you can message me anytime, and I’d come.”
“Still, you’re not at my beck and call.” She chewed her bottom lip and nervously rocked on her feet. “Kade, I don’t know how things are going to go back to normal, but I want to try.”
I stepped into the room, sliding my vest down my arms and putting it on the chair.
“Abby, as long as we are together, I don’t care.”
I stood in front of her, running my hand down her bare arms. My hands stopped at the hem of her tank top, and slowly I peeled it off her. Dropping it to the ground.
My eyes ran down her and then froze.
“What’s that?” I didn’t want to touch it as it still looked sore. A line as long as my hand was stitched up across her tummy.
“Um, that’s where they took Matthew out.”
Immediately I felt like an idiot. Of course.
“Oh.”
“I know it’s ugly.” Abby dropped her head, and then she went to cover it with her hand.
“Don’t.” I pushed her hand away. “Scars tell a story, baby, and this one isn’t ugly, it just tells the story of our son.”
She looked up. “You mean the story of how I lost our son.”
“Fate happens. Nothing we can do about it. And for the last time, it wasn’t your fault. If anything, it was mine. I should have come home earlier.”
“You were busy with the clubhouse. If I called when I first had a contraction, then maybe I would have made it to the hospital.”
“All what ifs and should haves. It doesn’t matter right now.” I wrapped an arm around her. “All that matters is I’ve got you.”
“You will always have me.” She reached up on her tippy toes and kissed my lips. “It will take something more than that to drive me away.”
I lifted her up and put her on the bed, being careful of her stomach. My arm rested under her head, and I bent down and kissed her lips. I wanted to be gentle, and I was. Until she wrapped her arms around my neck and pressed her lips hard against mine.
“I love you, Kade Wilson.” She broke away from the kiss and whispered against my lips. “Now will you please fuck me?” Her lips twisted into a smirk.
“I thought you would want gentle.”
“We don’t do gentle, Reaper.” She rolled her eyes and lifted her head up and kissed my lips, slipping in her tongue. Immediately, I slipped my tongue into her mouth while my hand roamed down her bare stomach, skipping over her stitches. I tugged on her pants and slowly pulled them down.
She wrapped her bare legs around my waist. Then with as much force she had, she attempted to flip us. Knowing what she wanted, I rolled onto my back and let her have the top.
She reached behind her and unclipped her bra, slipping it down her arms and then tossing it to the ground.
Looking up at her, it just hit me. This beautiful woman was my world. My everything. The last week had caused me to go crazy without her.
Why hadn’t I thought of it before?
“Abby.”
“Mmmm?” She was kissed down my chest.
“Abby, will you marry me?”
She looked up at me, her eyes wide. “Kade, you don’t have to ask me that just because of what happened.”
“I’m not asking because of what happened. I’m asking cause you are my world and I want you to be Abby Wilson, and I want you wearing a ring on your finger that says you’re mine and all mine.”
She blinked and stared at me. What was she thinking? Hell, what was I expecting her to say? We hadn’t spoken in days and now that she had reached out to me, I wanted to make sure we were never apart again.
“Then in that case.” She chewed her bottom lip. “Yes.”
“Really?” I grinned and sat up, grabbing her around the waist and holding her in place.
She nodded her head. “Yes, yes, YES.” She placed her hands on my cheeks and planted a soft kiss on my lips, then wrapped her arms around my neck.
After hearing that, I couldn’t stop myself. My hands ran down her bare back, and with one flip she was on her back and I was taking full control.
My future wife had asked for something, and I was planning on giving it to her, hard. Just like she asked.
***
We were lying in bed; she was curled into my side and my fingers were running down her arm. After last night, it turned out to be a good thing we had the house to ourselves. I don’t think her dad would have liked hearing us last night, and they would have heard us.
“So you got any plans for today?” I asked her.
She was quiet.
“Abby?”
“Um yeah, I do.”
“What?”
She went quiet again.
“Is something wrong, Abby?”
She sat up and sighed. “No. It’s just I have something that needs my attention today. I’m sure you have a million things to do in the clubhouse.”
I sat up, watching her. Why was she acting weird?
“Nah, I don’t. I thought I would spend the day with you. Or maybe we could go to jewelers and get a ring for that finger of yours.”
She was silent again.
“Abby?”
“Um, I can’t.” She fiddled with her fingers.
“Why?”
She sighed and reached for her bedside table, opening the drawer and pulling out a folder. She placed it on her lap.
“What’s that?” I asked.
“The reason I can’t do anything with you today.” She opened it up, and a booklet of tiny coffins was the first thing I saw. “I have to organize the funeral for Matthew.”
My mouth opened. My mouth closed. What the fuck did I say to that?
“See, I didn’t want to tell you and upset you.” She sighed and closed the folder.
“So you were planning on doing this by yourself?” I finally strung a few words together.
“Yes, who else would do it?”
I took the folder off her lap and opened it. “Or maybe I could help.”
“You... you would do that?” She looked at me, completely and utterly surprised.
“He was our son and like I said, I had no plans for the day.” It hurt to look at the tiny coffins, and the thought of my son at a funeral house just punched me right in the guts.
Her hand fell on mine. “Thank you. To be honest, I’ve been putting it off, and the funeral director wanted answers today.”
“Then we will give the answers. Together.” I kissed the top of her forehead, and she curled back into my side. I threw one arm around her and held her tight.
Chapter 31
Abby
Kade was holding my hand when we walked into the lounge room. Dad was sitting at the dining table and Kim was in the kitchen.
“Well, look who’s made up.” Kim crossed her arms and smiled at me.
“We were never fighting.” I glanced at Dad,
who was staring at me again. It was like he was waiting for me to crack.
I leaned back against Reaper’s chest and he wrapped an arm around me. I felt safe in his arms, and for the first time in days, I felt whole again.
“Um, we’re heading out for the day.” I glanced between Dad and Kim. “So will you be alright?”
“Yeah, we will be alright. What have you two got planned for the day?” Kim poured her cup of tea and went and sat at the dining table.
“Um, we’re going to plan Matthew’s funeral. The funeral director has been on my back about it over the last couple of days and decisions have to be made, so today we are doing that.”
The room went silent. Then after a few minutes passed, Dad stood up.
“You alright, little one? You sure you can do this?” He placed a hand on my shoulder, and I nodded my head.
“Yeah Dad, it has to be done.”
“Righto. Well, you look after her, you hear.” He looked Reaper in the eye.
“We will be fine, Dad.” I pulled out of Reaper’s grasp and gave Dad a quick hug. “I’ll see you guys later.”
With that done, Reaper and I left, both with a heavy heart. This wasn’t going to be easy.
***
The window was down, and the fresh air was blowing through the cabin of the Ute. I leaned my head against the frame of the window and let the air take my worries away.
Every decision was heartbreaking, and if it wasn’t for Kade, I don’t think I would have been able to make any. He held me up when I was falling.
The funeral was organized for the day after tomorrow.
Everything was done.
We were pulling into the clubhouse when Kade squeezed my hand. “I just have to update Brad on a few things, then we can go. Is that ok?”
“Of course.”
He parked the ute and I got out, following him inside. The clubhouse was full with Kade’s charter and Dad’s as well being here.
“I’m just going to get a drink.” I let go of Kade’s hand and headed toward the kitchen.
He was talking to Brad when I glanced over my shoulder. I wondered what they had to talk about. I pushed the kitchen door open and was met by Kaylee.
“Hey, Kaylee.” I went and got a glass.
Her eyes widened slightly, which made me frown. “Are you ok?” I asked as she remained quiet.
“Um, I’m fine,” she said, and she turned her back to me and continued to make a sandwich.
I filled the glass up with water, and I was nearly finished when she turned around.
“Abby, there is something I need to tell you, and I’m only telling you because you seem like a nice girl and clearly could do better than this type of life.”
I frowned again at her and nodded my head for her to continue.
“Um, the night before last, I kind of, well, not kind of. I did. I mean we did. Long story short I had sex with Reaper.” She put the knife she was holding down and just watched me.
I opened my mouth and closed it. I put my glass down and looked back at her. “Why?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “He was angry, and I guess he needed to blow off some steam. Look, I’m telling you so you can get out. A guy like Reaper is what he is. He isn’t faithful, and he isn’t the type of guy you build a future with. He is a mistake, or you’re used for his needs. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you.”
So while I was in the hospital doubled up with guilt about losing his child, he was out here fucking Kaylee.
“Thanks,” I mumbled and walked out of the kitchen.
He had my name tattooed on his neck. He asked me to marry him. Yet how could I trust him?
I was in the bar when I spotted him still talking to Brad. It hurt. One night he was with Kaylee and the next night he was with me. Did he really forgive me about Matthew or was he just pretending like everything was ok?
He looked up at that exact moment. I don’t know what my expression was like, but he stopped talking to Brad and walked straight to me.
“What’s wrong?” He looked me in the eye.
I glanced over my shoulder, and Kaylee was walking out of the kitchen, then I looked back at him. He followed my eye line and then regret captured his face.
“Abby, whatever she said...”
“Are you telling me it isn’t true?”
“No, but...”
“Simple yes or no.”
“Yes, it’s true.”
“Can I have the ute keys? I want to go home.” I put my hand out.
“No, not till you talk to me.” He crossed his arms. “I’m not letting you leave and then do something stupid.”
“And what would you class as stupid, Kade? Because I think staying here and being with you, thinking that we are going to have a happy ending, is stupid.” I shook my head. “Everyone was right. You don’t have a heart. You’re the Reaper. You care about yourself and your men.”
“That’s not true. I love you, and you know it.”
“I don’t know anything anymore.”
I needed to get out of here. After everything today, I just had to get out of this. I can’t take this as well. It was enough with what we had to do for Matthew.
“Don’t leave.” He gripped my shoulders.
I looked up at him, tearing up. “Sorry Reaper, but I can’t do this.” I turned sharply and stormed over to Brad.
“Brad, can you give me a ride home? Now.” He looked at me and Reaper and then nodded his head.
“Thanks.”
“Abby, I’m not letting you walk away from us.” Reaper followed us out, but I wasn’t listening. Not caring that everyone was listening to him yell at me how he wasn’t letting me leave. Like I was the one breaking his heart.
I scoffed. “So how were you planning on us working, Reaper? You sleep with me one night and one of your club whores the next?”
“Abby, it was a mistake. For fuck’s sake, listen to me!”
I straddled Brad’s bike and wrapped my arms around him. “No.” I looked him in the eye. “I know what you want from me, and I can’t give it. I can’t be that woman. Won’t be that woman.”
“Abby, I was angry. I thought you didn’t want me! You told me you didn’t want me!” He put a hand on the motorbike, stopping Brad from pulling out.
“I loved every side of you. I understood your darkness, hell, I would help you through it. But clearly that wasn’t enough. I can’t be that woman. I can’t stand by your side if it means you destroy all my self-confidence. Now this is the part where you realize I’m right and you do the right thing and let me go.”
Had I made my point?
With a torn expression on his face, he let go of the handlebars and Brad took off. I clung to Brad tightly and cried silently into his back. It felt like someone had taken a hot knife and stabbed it through my heart.
***
I walked through the front door feeling numb. I knew Reaper, and I knew he wasn’t giving up. He would be here any minute. I closed the front door.
“Abby, you home?”
I pinched the bridge of my nose and let out a long sigh.
“Yep, I’ll be right in.” I sang back.
I walked into the lounge room, and Kim was lying on the couch drinking Reaper’s whiskey. Which gave me an idea.
“So how did everything go with Matthew?” Kim flipped the page of a magazine, not looking up.
“Can we go out?”
She looked up. “What?”
“I said can we go out, like we used to. I just wanna get really drunk.”
“Ok, what happened?”
“Nothing. So can we go out?”
She sat up, putting the magazine down. “Sure, we can go out.”
“Good, get changed quickly. I don’t want to be here when Reaper comes home.”
I turned sharply and took the stairs two at a time and then walked to my bedroom. I was going to get changed quickly and then leave. Then I was going to drown my sorrows the only way I knew how, with liquor.
<
br /> ***
“Ok, you need to tell me what happened.” Kim took the glass off me, and I wobbled from side to side.
We had been drinking for a solid few hours now. Not that Kim was keeping up. She was too busy trying to get information out of me.
“Fine, you really want to know?” I reached for another shot, swallowed it, then turned to look at her. “Reaper slept with another girl, a regular club whore that lives at the clubhouse. That he will see every day and that I will see at every event.”
Kim stared blankly at me. “So that was the night after the hospital fight?” she asked.
“Yes, that night.”
She stared at the empty glass, and I knew she was biting back words.
“Come on, Kim, just tell me what you’re thinking.”
“Well, you were harsh on him, Abby. You wouldn’t see him, and then you only saw him cause he broke the door down and made you see him. Then you went and said you didn’t want to see him anymore. You kind of gave him mixed messages.”
“So you’re saying I caused it to happen?”
“No, I’m just saying that there is blame on both sides. You drove him away, and he most likely just had sex with her out of rage.” Kim put her hand over mine. “Seriously, this is Reaper we are talking about. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt you on purpose. He loves you.”
“If he loved me, he wouldn’t have done it.”
“He made a mistake. Don’t let it frame your future with him.”
I stared down at the refilled glass. As much as she was right, there was also so much wrong with it all. I gripped the glass and threw it down.
The sooner I couldn’t remember what it was I was upset about, the better.
***
I stayed at home and to my surprise, Kade didn’t come around. Dad stayed at the clubhouse and Kim kept me company. But today was the day I had to face him. I couldn’t put it off any longer even if I wanted too.
Today was Matthew’s funeral.
Kim and I were in a limo, and it had just pulled up at the plot. We were directly behind the funeral car and behind us, well, it was beyond describable. I glanced out the back window.
Close to a hundred motorbikes were riding in rows of three, led by Reaper in front and Dad behind him. They were loud and impressive and had crawled behind us the whole way from the funeral house.