by Simone Elise
She gave me a cold expression. “Are you joking? There would be hundreds of Jakes around, Abby.”
“Yeah, but this one knew my name.”
“You’re the daughter of the local motorcycle President. I think everyone knows your name.”
“You have a point.” Maybe I had been overthinking it. There was just something odd about him. I couldn’t put my finger on it. But the way he knew me, it just gave me the creeps, though he looked normal.
“I’m heading to the supermarket if you want to come along?” Kim said, snapping my mind back into the moment.
“Clubhouse shopping?”
“You guessed it. So you coming? Get away from all this?”
“Yeah, why not.” I got up from the bed. “Hey, Trigger hasn’t mentioned anything about Reaper, has he?” I fiddled with the end of my tank top, not making eye contact.
“No, why would he? The only one Reaper will be checking in with is you. How is he anyway?”
I looked up and put a fake smile on my face. “He is great. Let’s go.”
Lying to my sister? Not the best move, and usually she would call me out on it. But it seemed she got thrown at the mention of Trigger. I wondered what was going on between them two. She always kept it quiet, but I knew she had strong feelings for him. Pity he would never tell Kim how he really felt.
Trigger
I was a man who knew what he wanted. But what happens when the thing you want, you just can’t have? I threw back another shot of whiskey, just watching.
Abby and Kim.
Both were laughing at each other at the bar. Both were wearing tank tops too small for them, causing their breasts to look even bigger. They were even wearing matching black shorts. Twins. Right down to the clothing.
The only difference between them tonight was Kim was throwing down beers and Abby was throwing down soda.
Did they realize that every pair of eyes in this room kept moving toward them? Brad had, and he had made it his mission to redirect those eyes. Leaning against the bar next to Abby, but not joining in on their conversation. No, he was too busy giving people the ‘fuck off’ eyes every time someone stared too long.
But he hadn’t noticed me.
Kim was tearing me apart. Did she know what she did to me? She had me hot and sweaty with just one look. She had me on my knees just begging for her attention. But just because she had me mentally locked up didn’t mean I was going to be physically locked up by her.
No, I was keeping my distance.
Sure, the sex was better than great. And every time I thought she couldn’t get more appealing, she did. Every time I think I couldn’t fall harder for her, I sank to a new level.
I wondered if Reaper was as under the thumb as I was? Sure, he married Abby and now was having a kid with her, but did it kill him not to be able to touch her? To show to the world she was his every second of every day?
Every time a bloke looked at Kim, I was ready to smash skulls. She was mine. Maybe she didn’t know that. Maybe she thought what we had was casual. I was standing here thinking the bloody opposite.
I needed her.
I needed her now.
Was it fair that I just took what I wanted and then let her go again?
No.
But I couldn’t claim her. I couldn’t just tell her she was mine. She wouldn’t want that. She wouldn’t want to be locked down with a thug like me. She deserved better. Yet here I was thinking of all the ways I could tear that tank top off.
She had never said no to me. Not once. Whenever I couldn’t go any longer without her and gave into the temptation, she was there, waiting and willing.
So as I moved toward her from across the room, I knew the only problem I was going to have was to get her away from Abby.
She was in the middle of laughing when I approached her.
“Kim.”
Her head slowly turned around, and her smile dried up. Those eyes stared right through me. Could she see how badly I needed her?
“Hi, Trigger.”
“Can we talk?”
She knew what I meant by ‘talk'. There actually wouldn’t be much of it.
She looked back at Abby, and Abby shrugged her shoulders. “I’m fine. Brad’s here.” Abby glanced over my shoulder. “Stalker.”
“And you wouldn’t have it any other way,” Brad fired back.
“Ok then, we can talk,” Kim said before gulping down the rest of her beer and following me.
Her hand brushed mine, and that was enough to send a spark through me. I needed her. Now. Pushing the kitchen door open, it was empty.
She followed me in, closing it behind her.
“Lock that,” I said.
When I didn’t hear the click of the lock, I turned around, confused, only to be faced with the most determined face I had ever seen.
“How about we have that talk?” Kim said, crossing her arms.
“Sweetheart, you and I both know I wasn’t talking about actual talking.”
“Pity, I’m in the mood for it.”
She wasn’t normally like this. What had gotten into her?
Groaning, I ran a hand down my face. “Fine, say whatever it is you have to say.” I wasn’t interested in hearing it. One of the bonuses with Kim was she wasn’t much of a talker. She had never been with me. She did what I wanted.
“You use me.” She pressed a finger into my chest. Startled, I looked back at her, surprised. “You use me and then spit me out.”
“Where is this coming from?”
“It’s coming from a girl who is sick of playing second,” she snapped.
“Second. Who are you second to?”
“To any other female that may catch your attention. And you know what? I’m sick of waiting for you to want me. I’m over just accepting we are friends with benefits. Because we aren’t friends to begin with. You, Trigger, are a pig.” She looked up at me with a solid glare. “And I’m done.”
“You can’t be done with me, sweetheart. History would say otherwise.” She was causing my heart to beat faster. She had to be bluffing. This wasn’t really happening. Kim was breaking up with me, and we weren’t even in a relationship.
But the hole she was crafting in my chest was telling me different, telling me right now I had a hell of a lot to lose.
“Like I said. We are done. So next time you want to ‘talk,’ go and find another female. Cause I want better.” With that said, she spun on her heel, grabbed the door handle, and stormed out. Leaving me in the kitchen, barely breathing and barely accepting what just happened.
Had she rejected me?
Kim rejected me.
Never had she done that.
Should I give up on her and find another female? Yes. Her flat-out saying she was done with me should make me want to run in a different direction. Instead, I was thinking of all the ways I could get her back.
And fuck it. I had never been more determined to do something in my life.
Abby
“Do you reckon Dad has any idea what that blonde is going on about?” I asked Brad, feeling rather amused, watching my dad with a twenty-year-old girl on his lap. Her mouth had not stop moving, and Dad hadn’t stopped reaching for his drink.
“No.” Brad laughed. “We should play a drinking game for every time he has one; we have one.”
“Yeah, because getting drunk on soda is so possible.” I rolled my eyes.
“Aww yes. I forget you are up the duff.”
“Surprised you can forget that, considering all the shit you bought.”
He laughed again. “Come on, Abby, you loved shopping.”
I screwed my face up. “No.”
“I think we need fresh drinks,” Kim said.
Brad and my head both snapped to Kim. When did she get back? I thought she had gone to talk to Trigger. Their talking usually involved a bed.
“You’re back.” I arched my eyebrows at her. “What happened to talking to Trigger?”
“I did talk to him.
”
“Yeah, but usually your talking isn’t talking.”
“Well, tonight it was.” She clicked her fingers at the bartender.
She was avoiding eye contact, which normally meant one thing. Something big happened. What did she do? Whatever it was, she was regretting it. I could tell from the look on her face and the way she was standing. She wasn’t happy.
“God, this prospect sucks at manning a bar,” she grumbled.
“Hey Kim?”
“What, Abby?” She dragged her eyes off the bartender to look at me.
Then there it was. Pain. It was so clear in her eyes. Did I push her further? Did I ask why?
“We were about to start a drinking game. Every time Dad gulps one back, we do too.” I smiled softly at her. Now was not the time to bring it up. Now was the time to get her drunk, because she needed to forget about reality for a while.
“Isn’t he still with that blonde?” Kim looked over her shoulder only to see Dad having a drink.
“Yep.” I grinned. “And hating every minute of it.”
“Looks like I’m already behind.” She looked back at me, this time with a smile on her face. Being her twin, I knew when to push and when to back off. And right now, she just needed her sister to let her breathe.
***
I was supporting Kim up as I unlocked my bedroom door. She groaned as we just made it through the entry and I was dumping her on the bed. She might be tiny, but she was heavy! Well, at least heavy to me.
“It’s not fair!” she goes. “You have everything, and I have nothing.”
“Kim, you’re drunk.” I pulled off her high heels. How did she walk in these?
“You got the husband, the baby, and all I have is…” She looked at me with an empty expression. “Nothing.”
I hadn’t wanted to bring it up all night. In fact, I stayed right away from the subject. “Well, that’s not true.” I looked down at her. “You have Trigger.”
She immediately starting laughing dryly. “No, not anymore.”
“Whatever happened can be undone, Kim.” I thought they had just had another fight to add to the many.
“No, I took a stand. And this time. I’m not crawling back to him.” She pulled herself up the bed till her head was resting on my pillows. “He wants this casual thing, and I want something serious. Something stable. Like you and Kade.”
“Come on. Kade and I stable? Now that’s a joke.” I was the one laughing this time.
“You know what I mean, Abby. Reaper is there for you. No matter what. I want that. And if Trigger won’t give it. I’ll find it with someone else.”
From the tone of her voice and the serious expression she was giving me, I was kind of getting the impression she wasn’t joking.
“So you seriously broke up with him?” I looked her dead in the eye. “Unless he wants serious?” Which we both knew Trigger wasn’t capable of.
Her bottom lip dropped and she nodded her head. “I think I’ve done the right thing. But it is the complete opposite of what my heart wants.”
“Our heart doesn’t always lead us in the best direction.” I was speaking from experience. Reaper and I had done it the hard way, but look where we had turned out. Though he wasn’t here now and I didn’t know when I would see him next. He also hadn’t checked in. I think doing it the hard way was the best way for us.
Kim slid between the sheets and I flicked off the lights.
“Yeah, maybe you are right,” she muttered into the pillow before falling asleep.
She was drunk, so sleep came easily to her. Me, however? I was wide awake wondering what my husband was doing. Did he miss me like I missed him?
I rolled onto my side and reached for my phone. Would it matter if I was the one to make the first contact? It’s not like he told me to not contact him.
I was staring at my phone when it lit up and it was Reaper’s name I saw. You had to be kidding me! I grinned foolishly as I answered, in such a rush I nearly dropped the phone.
“Abby?”
I just got the phone to my ear. “Yeah, I’m here.”
“You ok?”
“Yeah, sorry, I nearly dropped my phone.” Just hearing his voice was all I needed to settle the nerves. “How are you? Did you get there ok?”
I heard him let out a long breath. “Yeah, I got here.”
Feeling as if there was tension between us, I decided to cut it with a knife. “Well, are you done yet so you can come home?”
He was silent.
I guess cutting the tension wasn’t the best idea.
“He isn’t here, Abby.”
I frowned and popped a hand under my head, leaning on my elbow. “So you are there and he isn’t?”
“He has moved.”
I groaned. “How long is this going to take you, Reaper?”
Then I got the worst reply possible.
“Months, babe. Months.”
My heart dropped. I had barely lasted this long without him. How the hell was I going to last months? My hand went to my stomach. How were WE going to last without him for months?
Chapter 52
Seven months later
Abby
“It’s not fair.” Kim pursed her lips and stared at me. Her hands were on her hips and she was rocking back and forth on her feet.
It was late evening, and we had all just finished having tea. I was clearing the plates.
“What’s not fair?” I could think of all the things Kim could be complaining about. Kim loved to complain.
“You are nine months pregnant, and you don’t even look full term. Like you should be fat.”
I rolled my eyes. This again.
“I am fat, Kim.”
“Yeah but not fat fat.”
I will never understand why she was so obsessed with how big I am. Maybe I wasn’t as big as other women, and the doctor did say I was carrying ‘tiny'. Which meant I was small. It didn’t matter. I felt huge.
“Girls, stop that.”
Kim and I froze and then turned to our left. Dad was standing there, red-faced and looking to be on the grumpy side of life. Though he was soon to be a grandfather, he didn’t look it.
“What’s wrong, Dad? Do you agree that Abby isn’t fat enough?” Kim snuck a smug look my way as she said.
“Abby’s nine months pregnant and you have her clearing dishes. My girls don’t do the dishes. Now put them back!”
I rolled my eyes. “I can clear a few plates.” Why was everyone treating me like I was about to break? Sure, this time I had been more careful, but everyone else was taking it just as seriously as I was. But clearing a few plates? I could do that.
“You aren’t hired help.” Dad took the plates off me and dumped them on the table, breaking a few in the process. “Go to bed.”
“At seven!” Kim and I both said.
“Better in bed away from this lot. Abby, you should be sleeping more. You won’t be getting a lot of it once the baby is here.”
This again. “Yes, Dad.”
“Kids keep you up and on your feet every hour of every day.”
“Yes, Dad.”
“You and Reaper have no idea what you are getting into.”
“Yes, Dad.”
“Stopping yessing me and go to bed,” he growled.
Did I fight it? What was the point? “Fine, I will.” Maybe Reaper would call later tonight. But as soon as I thought it, I knew what the answer was. No. No, he wouldn’t call. Because he was busy. Unlike me.
***
Days passed slowly, and Reaper hadn’t called.
I was lying on the bed staring up the cracked white ceiling. The music from the bar pumped through the bones of the old house. The laughter was loud and I could smell the cooking meat, cigarette smoke, and alcohol drifting through the open bedroom window.
My hands were on my stomach, and I could feel the baby moving inside me. Was it weird that I still didn’t know what I was having? With my first pregnancy, I wanted to know ever
ything. This one I was treating myself by wrapping myself up in cotton wool.
Protecting myself from everything.
It didn’t help that I didn’t have my protector here. My strength. My other half. My man. I took a steady breath in. Right now, I wanted Reaper. I wanted him to have his hands on my stomach, watching and feeling the miracle we created.
Instead, I was by myself. In my childhood bedroom.
Alone.
I had never felt more alone.
Sure I had Kim. Brad. Dad. But I didn’t have the person I wanted.
My phone vibrated next to me. I reached for it and slid it open.
“Hello?”
“How’s my wife?”
I closed my eyes. Just hearing his voice was comforting.
“Missing you.” I was honest but kept the need and want out of my voice. He didn’t need to know how badly I needed him. No point making him feel guilty.
***
“Brad, you aren’t coming inside the delivery suite.” I gave him a hardened expression and crossed my arms. “Never. Ever.”
He held up the somewhat faded and crumpled ultrasound picture. “But I was there for this!”
I groaned. “You were there for the first ultrasound, that doesn’t mean you will be there for the birth!” I was heavily grossed out by the fact and the whole pushing a baby out, and it really wasn’t settling my nerves. The last thing I wanted was an audience. But now that word had gotten around that Reaper might not be back in time, well, everyone thought it was their place to step in. Even Dad, but he had taken my firm no as a sign. That couldn’t be said for Brad.
“Come on, Abby. I promise I won’t go down to the business end.”
“YUCK! If you want to be in a birthing suite so bad, go and get your own wife and get her pregnant.”
A grin spread across his face. “Why would I do that when I have you? My best bud. All up the duff.”
“Not happening. Anyway, Reaper will be here.”
The smile on his face dropped and a grim smile took its place. “Yeah, of course.” He was saying it, but he wasn’t convinced by it. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me in, kissing me on the forehead. “He wouldn’t miss it.”