She smiled. The patented Chase Hatton ease, incredible. She took the cup and he clinked the bottle against it before taking a swig straight from the bottle. She sat down next to him, drinking wine from her coffee cup.
“Chase, you should really be proud of all you’ve done here,” she gestured widely.
“What, this room? It really isn’t that hard to—”
“No, no. Your whole life. You saw what you wanted and you worked hard to achieve it.” He wondered if that were true. “Not many people can say that.”
He peered into her eyes, wanting to tell her she was wrong; the one person he had really wanted in his life had walked out the door when he was eighteen. But he found he had lost his voice. His eyes traveled from her eyes to her lips and back. He set the bottle down on his opposite side purposefully. She remained motionless, engaged by his actions. He reached over and put his hand behind her neck, rubbing his thumb across her cheek gently.
“What about you, Hope? Have you found what you wanted?”
He pulled her in and kissed her, his lips pulling hungrily with each kiss, wanting to bring her closer, wanting to go deeper into her.
At first Hope froze. But then, she didn’t know if it was the wine or something else, but she just felt helpless to resist. It felt so good. Her life had been without this sort of passion for so long. Sure, she had Phillip, but he had never had the pull on her Chase did. She kissed him back, releasing her heart a little more with each kiss until she felt like she had given him her all. Her body was molten, hot and liquid, and she imagined him gently pulling on a beautiful golden ribbon running through her core, releasing her with a steady power that flowed from him through her.
He sat on her right, turned toward her with his right knee up. She reached out and touched his leg. “Oh, God, Hope,” he moaned. She knew that even if the door had been open, she would still want to be making love to him here, now, in the middle of sawdust on a painter’s cloth. His hands ran down her bare arms to her legs and slid underneath the thigh, pulling her closer. His kisses became harder, wilder, more impassioned, crushing her with his need.
Shivers slid through her as his hand moved ever so slowly across her stomach to the bare skin of her upper chest. He took her bottom lip into his teeth and nibbled, forcing a groan from her. His hand slid under the cloth of her halter top, where she was already aroused and cupped her flesh. Changing course, he moved his hand to her back to ease her down to the floor.
Panicked seized her and she pushed against him, struggling to get away. “No! No!” She scrambled to her feet and turned away from him. “I’m sorry,” she cried out. “I can’t!”
He jumped to his feet behind her, seizing her by the shoulders. “Hope.” He spun her around to face him. She tried to back away and tripped over a wrinkle in the tarp. He reached out and quickly snatched her around the waist, saving her from toppling over. “Hope.” He searched her eyes. “Don’t do this to us again!”
Her hair had come loose when he grabbed her to stop the fall. He took both of his hands and frantically, almost roughly, began brushing it away from her face, as if desperate to get through somehow. “Can’t you see I still love you? I’ve always loved you. Why can’t the past just stay in the past?” He kissed her again and she tasted the salt of her tears. “I know you want me.”
She shook her head, trying to deny it and pull away, but he grabbed her arms. “I can feel it. But Hope, do you love me? Isn’t there any part of you that still loves me?”
The thought rang through her head so loudly she was sure he could hear it. Of course I love you. That’s the problem!
“Chase, I can’t do this again,” she sobbed. “I just can’t!”
“Why?” He released her arms. “Why?” he said more quietly. There was a loud thump on the door. They both jumped, startled. She instinctively flew back into his arms, their hearts racing.
“Chase? Hope? Are you in there?” Hal’s muffled voice came through the door.
Hope began to brush at her face, wiping away any signs of tears. He let her go and took a step toward the door. “Yes,” he called out tiredly. “We’re in here.”
“How do I get this open?”
“There’s a code,” Chase replied halfheartedly. “Could the man have any worse timing?” he mumbled under his breath.
“Would it be ten numbers? There’s a sticky note on the wall out here with some numbers on it.”
“Yes, I suppose so.”
They heard the beeping of buttons being hit and the hiss of the door releasing. Before Hal could even look up from the keypad, Hope burst out of the room.
“Thanks, Hal,” she said, keeping her head down. “I’m going to bed,” she called over her shoulder.
He stormed out wordlessly and followed her down the hall. He glanced back to catch Hal staring in the room as if it could give him some clue as to what went on inside it. Then Hal turned and simply followed the pair to bed.
* * *
The next morning, Chase was in a foul mood. He ate his breakfast in silence, staring out at the rain pouring into the ocean, the gray day suiting his frame of mind. Hal sat opposite of him, reading the newspaper.
Hope came in dressed in a black, sleeveless, lightweight sweater with a squared neckline and tan shorts. “Good morning,” she said brightly, although her eyes showed she had gotten little sleep. “So, Hal, what’s on the agenda today?”
He lowered his paper with a smile. “Well, we were going to do some shots of the two of you hiking—” his eyes shifted to the window, “—but the rain has put that out of the question. So instead, I thought we’d head to the studio and get some shots of Chase singing. We’ll intersperse them in the video. We’ll shoot a few where Chase is actually singing—it gives a more realistic impression—and a few where he is lip-synching as it has to match the actual recording we put out. You’re welcome to tag along.”
Hope glanced up, perhaps to see if he would form any kind of objection. His lips were set. “Okay, I’d like that.”
She continued to make small talk as she ate some yogurt and granola, but after being met with curt answers, or in some cases, no answer at all, she gave up and sat stirring her half-eaten yogurt around. “Umm, I’m going to be spending tonight at a hotel, but you’ll be able to reach me and I’ll be available to you any time you need me.”
Hal peeked over his paper to catch his reaction to the news. He kept his face as rigid as stone. “Okay,” Hal answered for him. “That’ll work just fine.”
“I think I’ll just go then and pack. I’ll be in my room when you guys are ready to go.”
After she walked out, Hal folded his paper in half. “So just how long are you going to make things miserable for her?”
“Stay out of it, Hal!” he growled.
“Damned if I will, Chase!” Hal rose and stood behind his chair, his hands gripping the top rail. “If you have feelings for the girl, Chase, you need to tell her about them.”
He glanced up quickly, and then sighed, placing one hand over the bridge of his nose and rubbing his eyes. “I did, Hal. That’s the problem.” The rain began to beat down harder, thudding loudly on the roof of the deck.
“Chase,” he said quietly, “Hope has feelings for you. Yeah, maybe she keeps trying to push them down for some reason, but they’re still there. You need to be patient with her.” Hal turned and padded softly down the hall, leaving him to stare out at the rain pouring from the gutters and onto the deck.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Hope thought about how excruciating the limo ride to the studio had been. Chase brooded and cursed the electrician who had caused them to be locked in the room together. She fluctuated between distracted and close to tears. And Hal shuffled through papers that didn’t need to be shuffled through.
At least when they got to the studio, Chase came out of his stupor a little. Here, he was in his element. By the time he sat down on the stool in front of the mike and donned his headphones, he was even joking around with som
e of the crew. She breathed a huge sigh of relief, and her smile felt less strained.
But when Chase began singing, the mood changed again. She was totally caught up in the music, hardly daring to breathe; and for his part, Chase had never sung more beautifully or with more emotion. He looked up and caught her eyes in the booth, and it was as if he were pouring his soul out.
All I want is to forever be lost in your eyes,
To sing you my love, and to hear your reply.
I strum in the dark, put my heart on the stage,
To the roar of the crowd, but it’s your voice I crave.
I pace in the shadows and wait for my cues,
All the while wondering why I must pay these dues.
Why don’t you come back, I would beg you to stay
So I could get lost in your eyes, if only just for the day.
Your eyes once led me down paths of desire
In their reflection I could see my soul on fire
And now your eyes haunt my dreams at night
And I wonder just why we couldn’t get it right. So,
I pace in the shadows and wait for my cues,
All the while wondering why I must pay these dues.
Why don’t you come back, I would beg you to stay
So I could get lost in your eyes, if only just for the day.
Someone came in from an outside door and the light shifted causing her to see the reflection of her eyes in the glass separating her from Chase. The mirrored version of her eyes widen as a thought rammed into her with the force of a Mack truck. It jarred her so much she staggered backwards, losing the reflection altogether. Chase had always told her how beautiful her eyes were. Now, as he watched her and they again connected through the glass, she knew. Her hand flew behind her as she fought to seek her balance, stumbling backwards a few more steps. She turned and bolt out the door.
* * *
Hope heard Hal burst through the exit door behind her. She stood just a few feet away, her back to him, trying to control her trembling. She brought a hand to her mouth in order to stifle a sob, the other arm wrapping around her waist as she tried to even out her breathing. The sky had cleared and the only sign left of the early morning rain was the humidity in the air and a few dried worms on the concrete.
“Hope,” he said tentatively.
“Oh, God, Hal, I’m sorry. I just can’t do this anymore. I’ve tried because I knew he needed me, but this is tearing me up inside. And what’s worse, it’s tearing him up inside and I really can’t bear to see that.” She started sobbing uncontrollably.
Putting his arms around her, Hal led her over to sit on the curb. She put her head in her hands, trying to calm down. “I’m sorry. I know you don’t need this. You’re always so professional, I’m sure you must think I’m a complete fool.”
“No, Hope. No. I don’t think that.” He rubbed her back soothingly.
Chase left the studio by another exit and was searching for them in the parking lot. He rounded the corner of the building and saw them at a distance: Hope, sitting on the curb, obviously distraught, and Hal, comforting her.
This is an impossible situation, he thought. It’s killing Hope, and it’s not doing wonders for me, either. He had tossed and turned all night, still feeling his lips on hers, the way she had touched his leg, the warmth of her sun-kissed skin…and knowing she was only a room away didn’t help matters much.
He wondered what she must be saying to Hal. The only thing he knew for sure is that he would only make matters worse. He turned around slowly and headed back inside.
Hope had begun to regain some of her equilibrium.
“Hope, I know this is none of my business. But, what’s going on with you and Chase?”
She sighed. “It’s a long story.”
“Well, I’ve got all day,” Hal said kindly.
She squinted at him through her bloodshot and swollen eyes. “Okay. Okay, I’ll tell you. I’ve never told anyone this except my mother. As you probably guessed, Chase and I dated in high school. He was my first, and only, love. Until the day I caught him…cheating on me.”
“That just doesn’t sound like Chase! I don’t believe he could do that to you.”
She got choked up again. “I wouldn’t have believed it either, but there they were. He had gotten her pregnant and they were discussing it.” She sprang up, agitated, pacing back and forth in front of him. “I know this sounds ridiculous. It was eight years ago. And I had gotten over it, I swear! Well, sort of. I had moved on anyway. But then my boss gave me this assignment, and I really tried to stay professional, I did. But Chase…has this…power…over me. He moves me when I want to stand still. And that song. I just couldn’t take it! I’m sorry, Hal, I really am.”
“Hope, quit apologizing. I know you are doing the best you can do under the present circumstances.” He sat quietly, contemplating the next course of action. “We can just make do with what we’ve filmed already.”
“No, Hal. I don’t want you to change anything because of me. I think I’m just tired. I couldn’t sleep last night. If I could just go back and sleep for an hour.”
“Of course. I’ll get Tom to take you back to Chase’s. If you’re up for it, we’ll film tomorrow. But if you’re not, it’ll be just fine. I’m sure we can make a video out of what we have.” He turned to leave, but she reached up and grabbed his hand.
“Thanks, Hal, for listening.”
“You got it.” He smiled at her, giving her hand a squeeze before heading indoors.
* * *
Chase wrapped up the studio work as quickly as possible. All the way home he thought about Hope and how he wanted to apologize to her. When they walked into the house, it was stone quiet. He immediately headed toward the bedrooms, but when he got to Hope’s, he found the door was open, the bed was made, and all signs of her had vanished as if she had never been there at all; all except for a note propped against the pillows. He plucked it off the bed, and read.
Thanks, Chase (and Hal), for letting me crash here. Your home is beautiful. If you need me, you have my cell.–Hope
He crumpled it in his fist, and threw it across the room.
* * *
Hope luxuriated in a bubble bath in her posh hotel room. She heard a key in the lock outside. It can’t be Phillip, because his plane doesn’t get in until…oh my gosh! Is it really that late?
“Phillip?”
“Hope!” His voice sounded good. He rushed into the room. “Why, you little vixen! Waiting for me in a bubble bath. I’ll be right in.” He yanked on his tie.
“No, silly! Come here.” He came over and knelt on the soapy floor to kiss her. She ruffled his hair, which had gotten a little bleached; she liked it. “You look good.”
“Uuum! So do you,” he said, swatting at the bubbles that were covering her body. He kissed her again, deep and passionately.
He’s a good kisser, she thought matter-of-factly. “Tell me about your trip.”
“It was long and boring, and I’m glad I’m back.”
“Long? You weren’t even gone long enough to get there. What happened?”
Phillip sat crosslegged on the floor, pulling his tie and shoe off as he spoke. “We got as far as London and they closed off entry to the country, so we came back.”
“Why to L.A.?”
“Because we’re covering the People’s Choice Awards tomorrow.”
“You and I?” She flew up.
“No, me and Liz, silly. But don’t worry. You’ll get to go, as my guest.”
“Oh!”
“You sound disappointed.”
“It’s just…I wish I could get pieces like that.”
“Well, it’s just because they knew you were on this Chase Hatton thing. How’s that going by the way?”
“Don’t ask.” She sank lower in the tub.
“That bad, huh? Is he a real ass or something?”
“No, not at all. It’s just… Hey, wait a minute, my invite to the People’s Choice Awa
rds, that was your big surprise, right?”
“Not exactly.” Phillip raised an eyebrow, his blue eyes twinkling. Without another word, he stood and walked out of the bathroom.
“Well, what then?” she called after him.
“You’ll see.”
* * *
Chase pulled up in front of The Sunset Astoria Hotel. He had told Hal he was going for a drive, but he went, instead, to check on Hope, expecting to arrive before Phillip’s flight did. As he pulled into the wide drop-off loop in front of the famous hotel, he saw her waiting on the sidewalk. She was dressed in a simple but curve-hugging black dress and her hair was arranged with soft ringlets which were swept up on top of her head. She held a little black purse in her hands by a gold chain strap and appeared to be waiting for something. He was about to get out of his car when he saw a black sedan pull up in front of her. The driver got out and walked around to open her car door for her. He recognized the face from the photo on her end table. Phillip grabbed her around the waist and kissed her. She giggled, glancing around to see if anyone had noticed.
Chase closed his car door and started his engine, speeding away before she noticed him sitting there.
* * *
It had been a pleasant evening for Hope. They enjoyed an excellent dinner followed by a little dancing. Now she and Phillip were walking to their car from the restaurant. She had a sheer wrap around her shoulders over her sleeveless dress, and Phillip looked as always as if he had been cut out of the cover of fashion magazine. There were times when she took great pride in being his date; tonight wasn’t one of those times. Her mind kept drifting to Chase.
The night was mild, and people were out enjoying it: families with dripping ice cream cones, people in-line skating, young couples in love. Being with Phillip had been so…uncomplicated. Like the route you take home from work every day, she could be with him with her eyes closed and still arrive in one piece. Phillip held her hand as they walked, and they were in the midst of a comfortable break in conversation when he halted in front of a huge water fountain. It was lit with a variety of lightbulbs in different hues as geysers of varying heights danced up and down in random order, as bright and welcoming as the candles in the windows at Christmas time.
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