Taking his cue, he brought his hand to the back of her neck, and tilted her chin up. He kissed her, running his hand slowly over her exposed neck. To have her here, finally, awakened everything in him. His heart raced, and his head swam with desire. The physical need radiated from his core, gripping him and setting his nerves on full throttle. The candlelight played on her hair, making its golden highlights sparkle. He pulled away and started to unbutton her shirt unhurriedly. When it was loose, he pushed it off, running his hands down the smooth skin of her shoulders and down her arms. He kissed her neck slowly, as if he didn’t want to miss any inch of her. As he started to slide the strap of her camisole down, he felt her shiver. He stopped.
“You’re shaking.”
“I’m scared,” she admitted.
“Of me?” he said in surprise.
“You are the only one I’d be scared with. Doing this with you…you are the only one who has ever meant so much. I don’t want to mess up.”
“Hope.” Suddenly, he didn’t want to hurt her; she was so fragile. “Maybe we’re rushing this. We’ve only known each other a short time as adults.” He started to move his hand, and she covered it with her own.
“No, please, Chase.” Her voice was almost hoarse. “Don’t stop. I’ve waited so long. I want you so badly.”
Her words pushed him over the brink. She wanted him! How many times had fans screamed they “wanted” him? But he had longed to hear it from only one woman, this woman. And he knew there was no turning back for him now. He lowered his mouth to hers. With each kiss he claimed more of her, drawing her up and into him.
They took things slowly, finding each other again, finding each other for the first time.
They both appreciated they would never have this again, this first time together. They took off their clothing piece by piece, and viewed with their eyes, touched with hands and mouths, appraising, approving, wanting, but trying to hold down desire, until restraint was no longer an option. He caught their reflection in the mirror and was turned on all the more. He lifted her and laid her on the bed.
She was more beautiful than he had ever imagined. He lay with her and let his hands travel over her taut stomach to the luscious curve of her hips, his own body responding with each sensation his hands offered. Her feet were delicately shaped, and the calves were a wonder in and of themselves, their muscles rounded, but firm. She bent supple knees, drawing him upward, moving him to her center.
Chase’s touch was liquid fire, a prairie fire, sweeping along her, racing out of control. Her body anticipated where his fingers would go, trembling with impatience. Wherever he touched her, the next inch beyond his fingertips begged for him to roam there, too. Her hands ran over his wide, solid chest, over broad, hard shoulders, and along his back, clutching with desperation. It had never, never been this way before. She had never felt this overwhelming need to be closer to someone, to melt together so that the lines became blurred, to form each other as one. Being pressed together, flesh against flesh, was not enough, not nearly enough. She wanted to take him into her, to offer herself up willingly to whatever need he had. She wanted to please him more than she had ever wanted to please a man before.
What started out slowly, with respect and wonder, ended up in wild abandon, each completely trusting in the other’s ability to fulfill them, to value and to cherish them. It was the first time either had made love with both their bodies and their whole hearts, and the experience was mind-blowing.
As he journeyed over her body, he discovered unexpectedly erotic places, like when he kissed her delicate ankles or pushed his tongue between the flesh behind her curled knee, arousing them both. She was ready for him, wanting to be complete, but he wasn’t finished yet. His strong hands flipped her onto her stomach. He explored the flesh of her rear, and then pressed his palms into her hips, allowing his fingers to venture to her front side, grasping her along her pelvic bone. She tightened. He was in control of her there and she wanted more of it. Instead, he slid his fingers over the curve of her butt and down the slope of the small of her back. He spread his hands out as they trailed up her back, along her shoulders.
She felt his tongue trailing along her shoulder blades, nipping at her as he brought himself down on her, his weight pleasant, his hardness, the feel of his skin against hers, the heat, sending yet another spasm of delight through her. She lifted herself on her arms, throwing her head back to reach him. He moved her hair to one side and brought his mouth to her neck, applying pressure with his teeth in a primal way that forced a moan from her lips. His hands slid to feel the fullness of her breasts, the hardness of her nipples as he pressed them between his fingers. She was surprised by the strength of her desire and drunk on his power to sway her. He lifted himself suddenly and she took the opportunity to turn over.
They stopped all movement, staring into each other’s eyes, wild with the passion of their bodies and the ardor of their hearts. His hair fell forward and she could see his muscles bulging as he held himself above her. Her hands rested on his chest, waiting for him. He brought himself down and into her while gazing on her face. She closed her eyes, and they both released the pressure of wondering what it would feel like when, at last, he was inside her.
They savored the sensation momentarily, and then he began moving. Her hips rose to meet him, her hands slipping down to his rear to pull him in with each potent thrust. Her face contorted and her breathing came quickly until she let out a gasp of ecstasy. Her body relaxed and she ran her hands along his back, barely letting them touch as she soaked in her pleasure. He let her enjoy the feeling before he moved again, and she let out a gasp of surprise as another silvery shiver stirred within her.
He drove deeper and deeper, until their passion peaked and they collapsed together. Her nails raked gently along his sides, holding him close, without the will to release him. Reluctantly, after a time, she loosened her grip. He kissed her on the forehead tenderly before falling beside her on the mattress, letting his breathing return to normal.
In the moments right after their lovemaking had ended, Chase lay with her in his arms, enveloped in utter bliss, unable to speak.
“You are…incredible!” he breathed finally.
She rolled on top of him impetuously, her arms crossed on his chest, her head on top of her arms. She smiled brightly. “I’m so glad you said that, ‘cause there is nothing to make you doubt your…abilities…like having someone cheat on you.”
“Hope, your sexual prowess isn’t that important to me.”
She frowned. “I’m not sure that is a compliment,” she teased.
“You know what I mean. I mean…if you could never make love again, I’d be okay with it.”
“Again, not sounding like a compliment.”
“What I’m trying to say is I love you for more than just your body.”
She pouted.
“Not that there is anything wrong with your body, your body is fantastic, it’s just there is more to it than that.”
She continued to stare at him, enjoying the way she made him squirm and watching his backpedaling spiral downward. “I’m just saying—”
“If you couldn’t do me at least once a day, your life would have no meaning?” She walked her hands up his chest as she said it in a most beguiling way.
He smiled. “Okay, I’m going with that. That’s my answer.”
“Good!” she cried cheerfully, kissing him on the nose.
He grabbed her around the waist and flipped her so it was he gazing down on her beautiful face in the candlelight. She laughed, and he kissed her happily. Then, he became serious. He leaned on his elbow, rubbing her smooth skin, not able to get enough of her.
“You know, I came to find you at Mizzou.”
Her eyes flickered with surprise. “You did?”
He nodded. “I wasn’t able to get away until about a month after school started. I had started a daytime job at Mr. McCoy’s. You remember Mr. McCoy’s?”
“The candy stor
e across from the school? Of course! How did you land that sweet job? No pun intended.”
“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “Maybe because Mr. McCoy was always sweet on me.”
“Oh, that was bad!”
“And yours wasn’t?” He tweaked her nose playfully. “Anyway, I worked days there, and nights I was wrapped up singing. But, I finally had a day off and I went to find you, to straighten things out between us. But, as I went to climb the stairs into the dorm, I saw you in the window…with a guy.”
“Oh!” She felt as though she had the wind knocked out of her. “I’m sorry. I’m so sor—”
He put a finger to her lips. “Sh-sh-sh! No, no! That’s not why I told you. I didn’t want you to feel bad.” He gazed at her. “I just wanted you to know, I didn’t give up on us easily. I came for you.”
“Thank you.” She reached up to pull him in for a kiss. Tears trickled down her cheeks.
“I shouldn’t have walked away,” he added regretfully. “I should have stayed and we could have talked things out like we did tonight. I should have fought harder.”
“We can’t undo the mistakes we made in the past. I’m just so thankful we have a second chance. And I’m glad you told me I mattered enough to you that you tried to find me. I always wondered,” she ended quietly.
He took her hand and kissed it. “I don’t know if I can ever explain to you how much you mean to me, Hope. After you left, it took me a long time to get my head on straight, and even then, a day didn’t pass without me thinking of you.” Tears began pouring down her face. “Oh, honey! I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
“No,” she answered, choked up. “It’s just…I’m so happy. I had kind of given up hope that I could ever love anyone again. And the idea of making my way back to you…well, it was too much to hope for.” They kissed, and then snuggled closer together, their fingers intertwined, almost afraid to sleep for fear it might all slip away.
“Chase?”
“Hmmm?”
“I’m sorry I didn’t believe in us more. I should have at least given you a chance to explain.”
“Hope, like you said, it’s all in the past. And besides, I’ve been thinking about that. Do you think maybe it is because of how your father was, the things he told you constantly? Maybe he made you feel, I don’t know…undeserving of love. Maybe that made it easier to believe Chip’s lies?”
She couldn’t believe how well he knew her, perhaps better than she knew herself. “I thought about that, too,” she responded slowly. “I think he kind of messed me up in a lot of ways. He made me afraid to reach too far, to stray too far from my comfort zone…” she trailed off, deep in thought.
He squeezed her and turned so they were both on their sides, his arms wrapped around her, and eventually, they fell asleep.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
When Chase woke up, he found his arms still around her. It wasn’t a dream. His mind flashed back to the night before, remembering all the confessions and promises it held. Then, as he breathed in the sweet fragrance of her hair, he started remembering more, a rapid fire series of sensations—the way she had looked as they stood naked in the candlelight, the sound of her moan as his tongue traveled along her thigh, her hands clenching the iron bars of the headboard in her ecstasy, and her warmth as she had finally melted into his arms and fallen asleep.
He carefully sat up on his elbow so he could peek at her peaceful face. He played with a few stray hairs that fell along her neck. Then, unable to resist, he kissed her there.
She stretched languidly beside him. “Chase, tell me that’s you and not just a wonderful dream I had,” she said sleepily, without turning over.
He kissed her more along her neck, then nuzzled her ear, whispering seductively, “It better be me.”
She turned over slowly, and he felt her breasts brush his chest. She peered at him for several seconds, her eyes seeming to soak in each detail of his face. Then, impulsively, she threw her arms around him and squeezed him tighter than he thought she could, holding on until her arms grew tired. “Oh, I’m never letting you out of this bed.”
“Sounds good to me,” he responded, his cheek against hers, his eyes squeezed shut with emotion. All of a sudden, he sat up, taking the covers with him. “Oh, geez! You’re going to be late for work.”
She clutched at the covers. “No. Come back. I don’t have to go in today. I was fired.”
“You what?”
“My boss fired me yesterday.”
“But…why? Did it have anything to do with Phillip?”
“No. He told me I didn’t ‘put myself out there’ in my writing, or in my personal life.”
He thought about this. “Well, do you think that’s true?”
She sighed. “I think he was pretty much right on the money. Until last night.” She reached up and stroked his face, and he smiled.
He lay back down, and she snuggled next to him again. “Actually, this is great. You can come on tour with me now, if you want. It’s just a short one, three months.” She didn’t respond. “Don’t you want to come?”
She sat up, leaning on his chest. “Oh, babe, I want to come. Nothing in the world sounds better…but I have some things I have to take care of here first.”
His face clouded. “Does this have to do with Phillip?”
“No. As far as I’m concerned, everything with Phillip is long over.”
“I’m not so sure he knows that.”
She thought about this. “No. I think he will move on now. He’s a smart guy. I think he’s probably figured out I’m in love with you and he has no chance.”
“I still don’t like the idea of him being here, and my being gone.”
She lay across his chest, putting her head down. “It’ll be okay, Chase, I promise.”
“Okay. Well, I just don’t like the idea of my being gone, then. I’ve finally got you back, and I have to leave. It sucks! Maybe I’ll just call Hal and cancel the tour.”
She lifted her head. “You can’t do that! We can wait a little longer to be together.”
“Honestly, Hope, I don’t know if I can. Besides, you said you were fired. What could you have to do?”
She rolled back over into his arms. “I just have some…unfinished business. Something I have to do for myself. By myself.”
He frowned. “You’re being awfully mysterious.”
“I’m not meaning to be. I’m not sure I even understand it myself. I just need to take one more shot at proving myself to my boss. Then I can walk away.” She looked him in the eye. “I’ll come as soon as I can. It’s just something I have to do.”
He squeezed her head, kissing the top of her hair, feeling the heartache beginning. He pushed it away. He would not let it ruin the time they had left together.
“When do you have to leave?” she asked quietly.
He sighed. “Tomorrow morning, at the latest.”
“Oh!” she breathed, and he could hear the surprise and extreme disappointment in that one short exclamation.
“We’ll just have to make the best of our time together.”
She exhaled.
“Hope?”
“Hmmm?”
“I’m starving.”
Her laugh sounded like bells ringing. “Well, I guess we’ll have to do something about that.” She flounced out of bed, completely naked, and headed to the kitchen.
He sat up and watched her through the doorway as she started the coffee, and then came back to pull on some clothes. “Do you always walk around your apartment naked?” he asked, amused.
“Not always.” She smiled. “But, I figure I’m too high up for anyone to see me from the street, and no one can see over from the building across the way because it’s too far.” She had pulled on a pair of sexy red panties and an over-sized t-shirt he thought must belong to Phillip until he saw the symbol on it.
“Hey! Isn’t that my t-shirt?”
“Uhhh…maybe?” she answered with a guilty look on her face. “One
time we got caught in the rain, and you let me borrow it…and I kind of”—she rushed the rest of her answer—“purposefully didn’t give it back.”
“Why you little thief!” He grinned widely. “It looks better on you than it does on me anyway. Come here,” he growled.
“Uh-uh! Not yet.” She scurried into the bathroom and he could hear the water running. A few minutes later, she returned. She smiled. “I had to brush my teeth first.”
“Not fair.” He swung his legs out of bed. He grabbed his underwear off the floor and pulled them on. “Just wait there.” He disappeared into the bathroom for a few minutes, then rushed past her and jumped into bed, pulling the covers up. “Okay. Now you can come.”
She ran over and jumped playfully into bed with him. He grabbed her, kissing her deeply, rubbing his hands over her legs, to the back of her thighs and slipping a finger or two underneath the elastic of her lacy panties.
“What…about…breakfast?” she asked between kisses.
He pulled away and grinned at her wickedly. “To hell with breakfast!”
With a suddenness that made her gasp, he rolled them over so he was now straddling her. He began kissing her neck and let his hands wander under her t-shirt. The skin was soft as he slid his hands along her sides tantalizingly, not yet touching her breasts, but letting her know wordlessly that he intended to. His lips were on hers, and she picked her head up off the pillow in a reflexive effort. Taking advantage of her positioning, he pulled the pilfered t-shirt over her head.
He left her lips with a teasing pull, sucking on her lower lip before releasing it to slowly move down her body. She gripped the bedposts, tense with withheld passion. His mouth reached her panty line and his hands pulled gently, slowly on the lace, removing her panties and tossing them aside.
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