We enter the hallway and Savage is there waiting on us. “Let’s go,” Kace says, pulling me down the hallway. Chris is suddenly here with us, too, and the hallway is just wide enough for him to step to Kace’s side and grab his arm. “Wait. Man, I know this isn’t how you wanted this to go down, but it did. It’s here. It’s now. Tell her everything. Just tell her. Tell her and face it together.”
“Let go of me, Chris,” Kace orders.
“Not yet.”
Kace shocks me by shoving him against the wall. “I said let go of me.”
“You want to fight,” Chris challenges. “You want us both to screw up our hands? Maybe you do. You’re on a mission to punish yourself, but you’re punishing her, too. I’ve been here, man. You know I have. It goes no place good.”
Seconds tick by and Kace steps back from him and scrubs his jaw, cursing under his breath. He grabs my hand again, and starts walking, charging toward the exit and I have to double-step to keep up. He all but blasts through the exit and thankfully the SUV is waiting on us. Adrian is leaning on the door and quickly straightens.
“Behind you,” Savage says, as Adrian opens the door for us.
Kace pulls me in front of him and I climb into the backseat. He follows but he’s back to not touching me. I’m insanely aware of him not touching me, too. Savage and Adrian climb inside the front of the vehicle and Adrian sets us in motion. “Someone needs to pack up our room,” Kace says. “We’re going to the airport. I need the plane ready now.”
I rotate to face him. “No. No, we are not going home tonight, Kace.”
“We’re going home, Aria. Decision made.”
“Because it’s your life, not our life?”
“Because it’s the right decision.”
“For who? Alexander? He wanted to get to you. He did. He wanted to destroy us, you’re trying to let him. Do not do this.”
“We both need out of this city.”
“What we need is to talk.”
“No,” he says. “No, we really do not need to talk.”
“Damn it, Kace. I love you.”
He grabs me and pulls me around and half in his lap. “I told you not to say that.”
“I love you, but right now you’re letting all the wrong things control you.”
“You don’t know what this is, Aria.”
“Because you won’t tell me. And because you didn’t, you gave him the chance to burn us. Don’t let him win.”
He sets me back down in the seat. “Airport. Turn up the radio.”
Savage flicks us a look and turns up the radio. Kace’s rejection twists and turns inside me, cutting me every which way. Screw it, I think. I maneuver my skirts and I climb right on top of Kace’s lap, straddling him. The music is now blasting and I lean into Kace, my lips at his ear. “Sara told me to fight for you but she assumed you cared about me. She was wrong. Obviously, you were looking for an out.” I move to get off of him and he catches my waist.
“I’m doing what’s best for you.”
“Liar. You’re the one running.” I try to move again. He holds onto me. “Let me go. Why are you bothering to hold me now, Kace?”
His jaw tics and then he releases me. The minute I climb off of him, he calls forward to Savage. “Go to the hotel.”
Relief washes over me. He’s not completely checked out. The man I know is still present, beneath all of that anger.
Not anger, I amend. Self-hate. He hates himself. And as Sara so rightfully said. I have to love him when he cannot love himself.
The ride is short, but it feels eternal. We sit there, not touching. It’s excruciating.
We arrive at the hotel and Savage opens my side of the vehicle. I slide out and Kace doesn’t follow. He gets out on the other side. He might as well cut me with a knife. I’m suddenly not sure he brought me here to work through this or just break up with me. I don’t know what I’m doing. We are not Chris and Sara. We’re new, and obviously not as close as I’d believed.
My eyes meet Savage’s and he says, “Don’t give up.”
“He already did,” I breathe out.
“No he hasn’t. Don’t give up.”
My lashes lower and I nod, but I can’t look at him again. I’m spiraling inside and trying to hold it together. I step away from the door, shivering as I realize now that my coat is still at the museum. Thankfully this is San Francisco, not New York and it’s only in the fifties or so, but the wind is cold. Kace is waiting on me, and he, too, is coatless but he’s not shivering. Hugging myself I start walking toward the door. Kace falls into step beside me and we enter the hotel just like that. Side-by-side, not touching, not looking at each other. We don’t stop once we’re in the lobby. We keep walking toward the elevator and Kace punches the button. The door opens and I step inside the car. Kace follows and swipes his card to punch in our floor. He leans on the wall to face me. I lean on the wall, too, but only a shoulder as I face the door. I can feel him watching me but can’t look at him right now. I’m now officially angry.
The doors open and I exit, walking ahead of him toward our room. I can feel Kace at my back, watching my every step, but he doesn’t try to catch up to me. Of course, I’ve achieved nothing but charging ahead. I’m at the door and forced to wait on him. This is all on his terms. He’s in control. And that’s how he likes it. He decides when we live or die. Emotions are pounding on me and I’m an explosion waiting to happen.
He claims the space beside me and I can feel his presence. He’s like a glass of whiskey—it burns and then warms you all over before it sizzles your nerve endings. And I drank the whole bottle. He slides the card and I notice his hands, his talented hands that play that violin like no other human being. Hands that touched me in ways I’ve never been touched. Hands that can melt me in a single caress. I’m suffocating in too much everything and I couldn’t even explain what that means to anyone who asked.
The minute the security light turns green, I open the door and step inside the room. I take only a few steps and whirl on him. He’s already inside, the door shutting behind him.
“Already can’t look at me, I see,” he says. “Or touch me.”
“Are you serious? I’m looking at you now. I was afraid I’d start yelling at you if I looked at you in the elevator.”
“Is that right?”
“You’re baiting me. Stop it. You are the one doing all this Kace. You. I’m angry and hurt because of how you’re acting, not because of what Alexander said. I could give a damn what Alexander has to say.”
“We both know that’s not true.”
“You were just waiting for the moment you could do this. You were never in this all the way.”
“I told you I had a side you wouldn’t like.”
“If this is it, you’re right. I don’t like it. We should go home. You go to your apartment and I’ll go to mine. Of course, I don’t have one because you own it now.”
“You own it. It’s deeded in your name.”
“I don’t want your hand-me-downs, Kace. I’ll sign it over to you and find a new place.”
In a blink he’s in front of me, catching my arm and pulling me to him. “I told you you’d run.”
“I’m not running. You shoved me out the door. You didn’t even give me a chance to know the truth. I trusted you with my life and you can’t even trust me with something bad that happened in yours? I love you, Kace, but that isn’t enough for you and it’s not enough for me. Let me go.”
“You want to know the truth, Aria?”
“I want you to trust me. I want to know all of you, not just the parts you think I can handle.”
“You can’t handle this.”
“Then why were we playing this game together? Let me go and I don’t mean my arm. Let. Me. Go.”
His mouth closes down over mine, hot and hard, a lick of demand on his tongue before he says, “You want to know all of me? Take the dress off.” He sets me away from him.
I stumble back and grab the back of the couch behind me. He stands there, waiting, watching and this doesn’t feel like any time I’ve undressed for him before. But he needs control right now. I feel that. I knew that in the hallway. Alexander took it. Now, I’m taking it by demanding answers. He needs to balance that, to control me in other ways. And I know him enough to understand that comes from some deep, damaged place he buries all the pain in his life. And that pain runs deep.
He needs to know that I still trust him enough to be vulnerable with him.
I reach for my side zipper and then slide my dress down, stepping out of it. I’m wearing a gorgeous gold studded bra and panty set and when I set the dress on the couch, his hot gaze sweeps over my body, and then lifts. “All of it. Except the heels.”
There’s a coldness to him that I don’t like, and yet, I am helpless to control my desire for this man. I am wet and wanting. I am also certain that he’s trying to intimidate me and it won’t work. He’s still him and I’m still me. I unhook the bra and toss it aside, my nipples puckering with the cool hotel air in contrast to his hot stare. My fingers catch the small strings at my hips and I slide them down. Kace’s stare traces their path, with such intensity he might as well be touching me. I step out of the panties and straighten.
“Now what, Kace?” I ask.
He tears his shirt over his head and stalks toward me. “Don’t push me, Aria,” he says, his hands on my sides, over my ribcage and I’m hyperaware of his long, talented fingers just beneath my breath. “You won’t like the results.”
“Still trying to get me to run?”
“Baby, we both know you’re going to run.”
“I’m here, Kace, I’m naked in every way with you. It’s your turn.”
“You want to know how dark I can get?” His hand is on my breast, his touch rough but erotic, fingers pinching my nipple.
“Yes,” I breathe out.
“You think you can handle that? You really think you can handle that?” He doesn’t wait for an answer. He turns me to face the couch, forcing me to catch my hands on the cushion. He presses into me, and his hand is on my backside. He smacks my cheek and I yelp. It’s not hard, but it shocks me, which is his intent.
I suck in a breath preparing for more, and he leans in and cups my breasts, his lips at my ear and he says, “That’s only the beginning. Still think you can handle it?”
I suddenly don’t.
This is not a gateway for him to have control and give it away, by talking to me. This is him just plain pushing me further out the door.
“Stop,” I hiss and his grip eases. “Stop, Kace.” I turn in his arms and stare up at him. “I won’t ever be able to love you enough, will I?”
He must sense the shift in me, the defeat, because he softens instantly. “Aria.”
“I can’t give you all of me, and I have, and feel like you’ve got one foot out the door, Kace. I’ve lost too many people. I’d rather just be alone. So just let me off the couch. I’ll go home. I’ll take a flight and—”
“No,” he says, his fingers twining in my hair and dragging my gaze to his. “You go home with me. You go home with me.” His mouth closes down on mine, and his kiss is different now, gentler, but desperate, demanding, but not controlling. A deep, soul-searing kiss, that melts me oh so easily. He scoops me up and carries me to the bedroom, lays me on the mattress, and comes down on top of me. “I’m sorry.”
My fingers tangle in his dark hair. “Don’t push me away.”
“I’ll try.”
“Kace—”
“I need to feel you next to me right now.” His mouth closes down on mine, and I don’t fight him for answers. I sink into the kiss and his touch, and what follows is us making love the first time after our confession of love. He undresses, and I get rid of the only thing I’m still wearing—my high heels. And then he’s kissing me, so many delicious places, that I can say, I’m owned. I’m so very owned by this man and I like it. I don’t fear it. I don’t fight it. I fall into it and him. I feel our bond again, and God, I needed to feel it. I feel our love. With him inside me, kissing me, our bodies swaying together, I am complete, my world is right again. When it’s over, he stands up and walks to the bathroom. My heart is racing with where this goes next, but he returns and brings me a towel, sliding it between my legs, and we roll into each other, side-by-side, facing each other. He strokes my hair from my face. “I do love you, Aria. Like I didn’t think I could love anyone.”
“I love you, too.”
“You are not alone.”
“Neither are you, Kace. You know that, right?”
His lashes lower and he rolls to his back and stares at the ceiling. “I met her at a Riptide event. She was a producer out of L.A. I hired her and she went on the road with me.” He looks over at me. “I never loved her. I never pretended to love her. I have never told anyone but you that I love them.” He looks back at the ceiling, as if the rest he can’t speak while looking at me. “Easy sex. Companionship.” He sits up. “We were together for a year. She told me she loved me. I knew I’d been selfish. I knew I had to end it. And so I did.”
“And?” I grab a throw blanket and wrap it around me. He stands up and pulls on his pants.
“She lashed out. She did interviews and said I’d cheated and abused her, none of which was true. I think it was meant to distract me and it worked. She hopped in Alexander’s bed and used insider information to cut me. One of my songbooks I’d long-wanted back from a studio finally had a contract expiring. She and Alexander bought it out from underneath me. He now owns some of my best, most profitable music.”
“I’m—speechless. I’m—I really am.”
“I wasn’t. I was furious. I became my father’s son. An eye for an eye. I went to war, Aria. I went at her first. I made sure she didn’t work in the industry again. I went at her hard. I ruined her. Alexander was next but he threatened to lock down my music. It didn’t matter. I didn’t care about the money. I have plenty of money but that was my life’s work. It was personal. I was coming for him.”
My throat goes dry because I know she’s dead. “And something happened?”
“Yes. To give you history, she’d met Chris. She knew his story. She knew about my sister—” He looks down.
“And she knew how this would affect you.”
“She did. It was like a final ‘fuck you,’ an ‘I won. I threw the last punch. I beat you, you bastard.’” His eyes meet mine. “Now you see the monster I can be. The mind my father made.”
“No.” I scramble off the bed and rush to him. I let the throw fall away, and wrap my arms around him. “No. You are not a monster. You did what anyone under attack would do. What did you do to Alexander?”
“Before tonight, I decided revenge was my mistake. I needed to just stop. After tonight, I’m coming for him.”
“He had to know you would. Why did he even come here tonight? I don’t understand.”
“I think he loved her. He always seemed to have a thing for her, even when we were together. There is no other logical reason.”
“I don’t know Kace.” I grab the blanket again and wrap it around me. “How much did he make off your music?”
“An ungodly amount.”
“Can you take him to court over your music?”
“I could and I’d win but he’d splatter this suicide stuff all over the news. It would hurt the charity. It would attach to Chris and Mark, and I can’t do that to them. Or you. That’s not the answer.”
“Her dying worked in his favor. I don’t mean to be a conspiracy theorist, but what if he killed her to save himself?
“Meaning what?”
“Her supposed suicide is what made you back off. You’re afraid it will hurt people you care about. He knows that.”
“No,” he says quickly. “I believe he loved her. And I don’t believe he would have shown up here tonight to bait me.”
“May
be he wasn’t baiting you. Maybe he was using me to seal up the deal. To give you just another reason not to go public by taking him to court.”
“He reminded me why I will go after him and crush him.”
“How?”
“Harshly. And it won’t be in a way that he can hurt those I love.” He catches my arms and molds me to him. “Don’t run.”
“I’m not running. I’m naked, always completely naked with you. I always have been with you, Kace. About time you joined me.”
He throws away my blanket and takes me back to bed.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
The next morning, Kace and I have breakfast with Chris, Sara, Mark, and Crystal, at Chris and Sara’s lovely apartment. Mark and Crystal are staying a few days and Kace and I just want to go home, our home together.
After a smooth private flight home, with only Savage and Adrian along for the ride, we land in New York City. Once we’re in a Walker-driven SUV, Gio’s silence is back on my mind. “I know Walker has looked over the shop, but I just—can we go and just see if there is any sign of Gio? And again, I know that’s illogical. I know Walker would know but—”
Kace leans in and kisses me. “Of course.” He gives Adrian the instruction and it’s not long before we’re at the shop, the chilly now-November wind gushing around us.
I punch in the code, eager to get into the warm storefront, and Kace pushes it open for me. I step inside with him on my heels and gasp.
Gio is standing there, and his gaze goes to Kace. “What the fuck are you doing with my sister, Kace?”
A Wicked Song Page 21