by Colbie Kay
"Mom, can Connor come with us, please?" Zane elongates his please, begging me to allow his best friend to come to the amusement park with us.
"If it's okay with his parents." I point my finger at him and narrow my eyes. "It's Grandma and Grandpa Mayfield's night with you, so no ganging up on me later for him to stay the night."
He rushes to me with the biggest smile on his face, hugging me tightly. "Deal." He pulls back. "Can I have your phone to call him?" I hand it over, he runs to his room. A few minutes later he comes back out. "His parents said he can go."
"You ready to roll then, Z?" I ask as I grab my bag off of our dining room table.
He's practically bouncing with excitement. "Yep, let's roll." The amusement park is his favorite place to go, and the boy isn't scared of any of the rides. I lock up our apartment and we race each other to the car. Zane beats me, but we’re both laughing hysterically as we open the doors, get in, and buckle up.
"Come on, Mom!" Zane yells for me to hurry up. He and Connor are already in line for the Slingshot. It's the worst rollercoaster ever and Zane makes me ride it every time, knowing it scares the piss out of me.
It’s over a hundred feet in the air. When it starts, you automatically go into a drop that shoots you to the bottom. Hence the name. And then you have to go through the loops and twists and it turns upside down. I fucking hate it, but I love my son, so I do it for him.
I catch up to them. We stand in line for what seems like forever. When we’re seated, I have an overwhelming feeling of loneliness. Zane and Connor sit in front of me, couples sit behind me, and I leer down at the empty seat next to me. I wish Devon could be here with me, with our son, experiencing this. Not just the rides, but the family aspect of it all. I fasten my harness and wonder how long I’m going to make him prove himself. Hasn't he done that by showing up every day like he's promised?
My mind goes blank as we propel downwards, gaining speed. "Ahh!" I scream and hold on for dear life. Motherfucking, cocksucking, son of a bitch! I hate this shit!
We hit the bottom and zoom back up, coming around the first loop. Everything blurs as I spend the next few minutes hoping I don't have a heart attack. I scream every second of this horrible ride, and my throat hurts by the end of it.
When it’s over, we move on to the next ride.
There's a knock on the door. Already knowing it's Zane's grandmother, I holler while walking over to answer the door, "Z, your grandma is here." I open it and invite her in.
"Hi, Daphne." Connie smiles and steps inside.
Closing the door, I reply, "Hi, Connie."
Zane comes running out of his room with his backpack hanging on one shoulder. "Hey, Grandma." He gives her a hug and then hugs me.
"You have your toothbrush?" He tends to forget that when packing.
"Yes, Mom." He rolls his eyes.
Bending down, I kiss his forehead. "Be good and I love you."
"I love you too."
Connie's smile falls. "Zane, go wait out in the car. I need to talk to your mom for a minute." She pats his back and he follows her orders. When the door is closed, she asks, "Did you know Devon was back?"
"Yes, he's come to see me at the shop a few times." I downplay the actual amount because I didn't know he went to see his parents.
She sighs heavily. "He was drunk and talking nonsense when he showed up late one night." Her eyes pool with tears.
My brows knit together. "What do you mean nonsense?"
"Stuff like it's not his home and he's not wanted." Her bottom lip quivers. Why would he say something like that? His parents love him, and yet, he cut them off just like he did me. "Why would he say such things?"
I pull her into a hug. "I don't know. It doesn't make sense to me."
She sobs on my shoulder. "That wasn't my son, Daphne. What happened to my boy?"
"He's going to be okay, Connie." I rub my hand up and down her back.
She pulls away, sniffling, and wipes her nose. "I hope so. I saw that leather vest he was wearing. He's been running around with those motorcycle guys."
I stay quiet.
"I better go."
I open the door for her. "Try not to worry too much. Have fun with Zane, and make sure he doesn't eat too much sugar."
She laughs. "See you tomorrow. I'll have him home by noon."
I wait a few minutes after she's left, bite my bottom lip, and decide to get my phone.
"Hello?" His deep husky voice sends shivers through my body.
"Hey." I smile and trek to my bedroom, lie on my bed, and stare at the ceiling.
"I'm glad you called." I imagine him smiling. It's quiet in the background, making me wonder where he's at. "How was the amusement park?"
"It was fun. We picked up Zane's best friend, Connor. He still made me ride every damn ride. Where are you?"
Devon laughs. "You always did hate them. I’m in my room at the clubhouse. Is it the same as when we were younger?"
I picture him lying on his bed much like me without his shirt on and his muscles on display. I used to love looking at Devon’s perfect physique. But from the size of him now, I’d say I would have a lot more exploring to do and I wouldn’t care about his scars. An ache forms between my legs as I try to refocus to answer his question. "Pretty much. They have some new rides and some of the old ones."
"Do they still have the Ferris wheel?"
I smile brightly. "Yes." I haven’t ridden it since the last time I was there with Devon.
"That was always my favorite." His tone turns playful.
I laugh. "Just because you always stole a kiss at the very top."
He joins in my laughter. "Did you know, I always bribed the guy running it to stop us at the top?"
I gasp loudly. "No, you didn't!"
Devon laughs harder. "I did. I always let you get on first. So, when your back was turned away, I'd give him a twenty."
I grin. “You know, I would have kissed you any time you wanted.”
His voice lowers in a sexy way, “Yeah, but there was just something about being at that highest point, looking down at all of the lights and the city as far as we could see, then gazing into your shining eyes, and having my lips against yours.” I release a breath I didn’t know I was holding. My heart pounds harder. Devon always did have a way with words, and a way to make me putty in his hands. I fell so easily in love with him as a young girl, and it’s happening all over again as a grown woman.
I ask, "You remember how we used to sit on the phone for hours?"
He chuckles. "Yeah, I'd stay on until you fell asleep or I'd sneak over."
I sigh. "Those were the days, when we had no worries, no fears, no complications."
"We could have them again, Daph." I know we could, but my head is still fighting my heart. I want to let him in, but I want to keep him at a distance. I'm not sure I'm ready to close that space.
We stay on the phone for hours, just like we used to, until my eyes feel heavy and begin to fall shut.
Quietly, I hear him whisper, "Goodnight. I'll love you forever, Daph."
Over the last two weeks, Daphne and I have grown closer. I spend time with her during the day at Runaway Tattoo, and we spend our nights talking on the phone after Zane is sleeping. I miss the hell out of her when the shop is closed, but at least I get to hear her voice, and I fucking love it when she gets tired. Her tone turns sultry.
I haven't pushed for more with her or to meet Zane. I know I have to give her time, but it's getting hard as hell not to have them completely in my life. I have every intention of making her mine and meeting my son after we go on this run to Oklahoma. I know Daphne, and she is getting closer to the edge. I just need to give her the push to fall, but at the same time, assure her I’ll be there to catch her.
"Tomorrow we ride out to help our Oklahoma Chapter." Hanger's voice pulls me from my thoughts. "Tonight, we need to bring all the women and children here. When we get to the compound in Oklahoma, we will be filled in about the plans for how
everything will go down. Hunter and Hacker, I want you two to head over to our storage unit and gather the guns and ammo. Load up the van, and tomorrow Pretty Boy will drive while Ghost sits passenger. Got it?"
The room fills with, "Aye's."
Hanger calls church and one by one we leave chapel. I don't hang around, instead, I walk outside to my Harley and head for Runaway Tattoo. I'm not going to tell Daphne that she and Zane have to go to the compound because she wouldn't agree to it. She's not my Ol' Lady yet, and I haven't even met my own son. I don't want it to be that way. But...I do need to tell her that I'll be gone for a couple of days.
I walk into the tattoo shop and go straight to Daphne's office. She's not in here, so I sit in her chair, prop my booted feet up on her desk, and wait. She's probably with a client.
An hour later she opens the door and jumps a little, startled that I'm here. "Shit, Devon!" She lays a hand on her chest. "You scared the crap out of me."
Smirking, I lean up in the seat. "C'mere." I hold my arms out and she willingly comes to me. Pulling her down onto my lap, I run my fingers up and down her back. "I have to leave town for a couple days."
Her eyes connect with mine. "I figured. Audrey mentioned you guys leaving and that she had to pack."
I nod. "They want all of the women and children to stay at the compound while we're gone. You aren't affiliated yet, so I won't ask you."
Her hand reaches up cupping my cheek, her thumb caresses my skin. "Devon, be careful."
My eyes close for a moment before opening to her sparkling grays. "I will." Tilting my head a little, I kiss her wrist. "I'll come see you as soon as we get back."
"Okay."
Lacing out fingers together, I kiss the top of her hand, and with my free hand, I grip the back of her neck. My gaze searches hers and I bring her closer, planting my lips against hers.
My hand tangles in her hair as my tongue glides along hers. Her fingers tighten around mine. Her other hand roams to the back of my head, keeping me from breaking our connection.
Fuck! I want to bend her over the fucking desk and take her right here. My willpower is quickly dissolving as my cock twitches against my zipper.
Letting go of her hand, I push against her shoulders, trying to gain some kind of control to stop this. "Fuck, Daph. We gotta stop."
Her features transform from lust-filled to confusion. "Why?"
I blow out a deep breath. "Because if we don't, I'm not gonna be the nice guy anymore. I'm gonna take what I fucking want. It's not going to be slow and easy, it's not going to be romantic, or what you fucking deserve. It's going to be rough, hard, and with you bent over this fucking desk, ass bare, and my cock pounding your beautiful pussy until you can't fucking walk for a God damn week."
Her eyes widen, mouth gapes open. "Holy hell! And tell me why I don't want that?" She stares at me stunned, blinking her eyes. I’ve never spoken to her like that, but my restraint is quickly breaking.
I growl from her egging me on. Now imagining it, my cock continues growing with need for her. "Because this isn't the right place or time."
"I know." She sighs with understanding and dips her head down before lifting it back up. "It's getting harder to control myself around you."
I chuckle. "Who you tellin'? I'm hanging on by a fucking thread and it's about to break. You fucking drive me crazy, Daph, but I'm not gonna fuck you like a whore because I'm leaving for a couple days. You deserve better than that." I place my finger under her chin, keeping her eyes on me. “I promise after we get this shit worked out and you're mine, like you always should have been, I'll fuck you as hard and rough as you want every day of the week for the rest of our lives. But for now, I gotta go."
"After all that, you’re just gonna leave?" She overexaggerates another sigh and throws her arms in the air.
She stands up from my lap, and I stand with her. "I don't want to, but I have to." Leaning in, I kiss her neck right where her ticklish place is. She starts to giggle and tries to hide the spot. I give her one more chaste kiss. "I'll love you forever, Daph."
Her lips tilt up. "Forever."
My smile widens. Finally, she said it. For the first time since we were teenagers, my chest swells with happiness.
I leave the tattoo shop and head back to the compound to get my shit ready.
I walk through the clubhouse doors. It’s already filling up with families. I spot Mullins through the growing crowd and walk over. "Hey."
He turns with his arm around his wife. "Hey." He grins. "You remember my wife, Christy?"
"Of course." I lean in, kissing her on the cheek.
"Hey, Devon." She smiles brightly.
I look at each of their kids. "Man, you guys have grown since I last saw you." I ruffle CJ's light-colored hair. He's the oldest at almost fifteen. He smiles but shrugs away. Hailey is eleven, Demi is nine, and the baby, Summer, is five.
"I've been making the rounds and introducing them to everyone," Mullins tells me.
"That's good. They're a great group of people." I gaze around the room and think about how lucky I am, but the two people I wish were here, aren't.
"The Ol' Ladies have been so nice and welcoming." Christy's voice drags my attention back to her. "Chatty is preparing food for everyone. It should be ready in a little bit."
I nod and rub the back of my neck as my eyes drift to Mullins. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Sure." His brows furrow, but he follows me to an empty corner of the bar. "You sure you wanna ride tomorrow? It could get dangerous and you have a family, brother."
His stare bores into mine as he tries to make sense of my hesitation. "Yeah, I'm sure. Look around, brother, who doesn't have a family here? We are all taking a risk, no different than the Army. Since I've started prospectin', I'm happier than I have been for a long time, and Christy sees that. She's happy that I'm happy. Shit, home is better. We aren't fighting anymore, and we’re finding each other again." His face turns serious. "This club did that for me, and I'm not about to let it down."
I nod with a heavy sigh. "Okay, I get it." I slap him on the shoulder. "Go enjoy the rest of the night with them."
He chuckles. "I plan on it."
I leave him standing there and head toward my room.
Grabbing my duffle bag out of my closet, I begin putting extra clothing inside. I gather anything and everything else I might need and open the top drawer of my nightstand. Reaching for my pistol, I check the clip and lay it on top before zipping up my bag.
Under my bed, I take hold of the box and begin looking through it. I lie back, staring at the ceiling, thinking about Daphne and Zane. I say a prayer for myself that I come back to meet my son for the first time, and that my brothers all come home safely.
I'm not sure how long I've been lying here, but someone knocks on my door. Shoving the box back under my bed, I holler, "Yeah?" The door opens, and Christy walks in. I sit up surprised. "Hey."
She gives me a small smile. "I know you weren’t expecting it to be me." She looks down at the bed and points. "Can I sit?"
I scoot up closer to my headboard. "Yeah, sure."
My eyes connect with hers. "I wanted a minute alone with you to talk." She sighs heavily. "When you guys were deployed and then Chad did more re-ups after you were discharged…things were hard. Being an Army wife, it's like we live in a constant state of fear, waiting for the doorbell to ring that will give us that fateful news." She looks down for a moment and brings her tear-filled eyes back to mine before she continues, "I prayed every day for God to bring my husband home, and he did." She shakes her head and pushes some of her short blond hair behind her ear. "But he wasn't the same man. It changed him and not for the better, but then he came here a few weeks ago, and it's like I have my husband back. The man I fell in love with, but now he's throwing himself in the line of danger again. I'm grateful that this club brought him back to me, but I need you to keep him safe with whatever you guys are walking into. Keep him safe and bring him home to me."
She pulls back. "Thank you. You're his best friend."
"I know, and he's mine."
She sighs and puts the smile back on her face. She slaps my thigh. "Let's go eat."
We both stand, and I follow her out.
After we finish eating and the picnic tables outside get cleaned up, a prospect starts the bonfire. We pull chairs up close to the fire, which is licking high up into the air. Embers and ashes float slowly to the ground. I watch the flames burning brightly with a beer in my grasp. I take a long pull from the bottle, looking around at everyone talking and laughing. The kids run around playing with no worries in the world. I sadly smile to myself and drop my chin to my chest.
"They'll be here with you one day." Jacey's hand lays flat on my shoulder.
When my gaze connects with hers, I nod. "Yeah, not soon enough though."
She sits down on the empty chair next to me. "The best things in life take time." Her gaze travels to Bear. "I haven't seen you around lately."
I keep my stare on her profile. "I know. I've been spending a lot of time at the tattoo shop. I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you the last time I saw you."
Her head darts in my direction. "You don't need to apologize to me. I get it. I really do. I wasn’t the nicest person when I was fighting Bear."
My brow arches and a grin appears. "Wasn't the nicest?"
"Okay." She huffs and rolls her eyes. "I was a bitch." We both laugh. She grows serious. "Be careful tomorrow."
"I will." I put my arm around her and pull her close for a side hug. "I love ya', Short Shit."
She lays her head on my shoulder. "I love you too."
"Everything good over here?" Bear questions behind us. I knew it wouldn’t be long before he joined us, he doesn’t let her get too far from him.
We both tip our heads up. "Yeah." We say in unison with matching smiles.