With hesitant and gentle reverence, she lifted the brown book out of its container and felt the weight of it in her hands. She was afraid to open it. Afraid it would fall apart as the others in The Vault had long ago. But this book looked well intact. It had been protected from the elements for all this time. Protected from the warmth of the air. She had to open it.
It’s been five months since it happened. I’d forgotten this journal was in my bag. It was supposed to be a birthday present for my daughter…
They were right. The lunatic survivalists that trapped us here beneath the library were right. This was not like the Y2K scare or any of the others. This was real. This was apocalyptic.
Mark is gone. He must be. He worked in an office on Wall Street. All our family and friends…gone. And the reports we’ve gotten from what’s left of the military… Nothing remains. Any life that survived above has been destroyed by the radiation. A solar storm, they say. A fire that scorched large portions of the Earth. That melted glaciers and boiled oceans. Who could live through that?
The military apparently. Though they did leave one suit and some testing equipment behind for us to share so we could see the wreckage for ourselves, perhaps find more supplies.
How do I tell Tessa her father is dead? That it was a freak accident and not fate that brought us to the library in time, not to pick up a copy of her favorite story, but to be taken belowground by some foul-looking men with knives and a few crazy librarians? Yet they saved us.
They saved us. But is this really salvation?
Xian turned the page, tears streaming from her eyes as her hand opened to capture the image that slipped out at her action. So lifelike, it showed a blonde woman, her arms wrapped around a tall, dark-haired man who held a grinning child in his arms. They looked so happy, surrounded by lush green trees and colorful flowers.
And the sky…
“It was blue.”
She wiped her cheeks, blinking through the tears as she soaked in the colors. They stood in the sun, uncovered and uncaring, beneath a sky that mirrored the ocean in its beauty. So much beauty. All gone.
She continued reading.
We’ve met others. People who happened to be in subways or mines when everything burned. People who lived beneath the city in places I never knew existed—some of them say there are animals being kept safe underground as well. Tessa was pleased at the news.
More military, though they seem to have their own survival plan now, separate from ours. Some of them have already lost touch with what it means to be civilized, showing allegiance only to each other—like a clan or tribe of warriors. But at least we are not the only ones left. And if there are more here, there must be survivors all over the country. The world.
We can be outside now, mostly at night. There was rain, though very little, and it was cleansing. They are saying we need to rebuild, that everything we need is in the books that were saved along with us. And those books have become valuable.
A couple of raiding parties have tried to take them, and a few of the women were raped and killed in the process. This is not the first time the men have attacked, several women are pregnant even now, but for my Tessa, I will try to make it the last. She is too young to understand, and I hope she never does.
The women held an emergency meeting. We are weaker, but we must gain the advantage. We have to protect ourselves. Our children. We will be smarter than they are. We hear the men talking at night, fearing another solar storm. Fearing God’s wrath. Maybe we can use that to our advantage. Convince them that protecting us is a way to soothe that anger. And we must use the information we have here as a form of control as well. They must not be allowed to hurt our children. To hurt Tessa. One of the older librarians has been reading a book on Goddess worship and pagan mythology. She thinks she’s stumbled upon something that might help. I wouldn’t have chosen this path, but there is no man like Mark among the survivors. There are few men who can be trusted. The women must survive. It’s the only way we can have a future. Tessa must survive this wasteland, she must be given a chance.
Hel wasn’t sure what to do. What had happened? She’d been standoffish since he’d touched her, preferring to finish the journey with Siraj instead. But this. This was something different.
Xian had come out of The Vault with an expression on her face he’d never seen before. More than lost. More than broken. As though someone had told her the moon would never rise again. She’d asked to be taken to the cleansing cave—a nearby cavern that held a spring of clean, hot water where travelers could bathe or refresh themselves. He’d taken one look at her and agreed immediately, not arguing when Siraj wanted to join him to ensure her protection. All he could think about was Xian. What was wrong?
Siraj crossed his arms and leaned against the rocky opening, staring out at the emerging orange dawn. “If she were mine, she wouldn’t be in there alone. Especially not when she looks so beaten up.”
Hel stiffened. “She’s not yours. She’s not mine either. She belongs to no man.”
Siraj snorted. “That is a shame. If any woman in the Wasteland was ripe for pleasure, it’s our curvy Priestess in there. If I’m not mistaken, you don’t go burying your face between the thighs of any female unless she’s a Rose…or she belongs to you.”
Hel had Siraj’s front pressed against the rock face, his body leaning heavily against him and a dagger pressing against his neck before the man could blink. “I should kill you now.”
Siraj chuckled breathlessly. “Probably. Though I doubt Xian would think highly of you if you did. I’m still recovering from wounds she tended. So, my dear Sun Guard, I see you can be aggressive when you want to be.” He pressed his ass against Hel, and Hel was shocked to feel his own reaction. “Much as I enjoy the rough stuff, I can tell your Priestess needs it more. She needs a passionate distraction, a lover who can take the reins. Take her mind off of her troubles.”
He was tempted. Oh, so tempted. He relaxed his grip on Siraj. “I am a Sun Guard. To sleep with a Priestess outside of the lottery is to be banished. To sleep with her…would mean death. No doubt for us both.”
Siraj rubbed his neck, turning to meet Hel’s gaze. “There is nothing here but ghosts and regret. I won’t tell if you won’t. I’d be willing to bet you my treader that our lovely exotic flower will welcome your breach in protocol.” He eyed Hel’s knife warily. “She knew I was watching when you touched her. She enjoyed it. And I could tell she wanted more from you. She was yours for the asking.”
Hel’s grip tightened on his dagger, but it wasn’t from the desire to use it. Just desire. Xian had known? He felt a flash of jealousy that Siraj had seen her, the woman he’d worshipped for so long. Worshipped but not known. Not the way he wanted to. He was beginning to realize that this might be his only chance. She had responded to him. Wanted him.
Siraj seemed to sense him weakening. “She needs you. I’ve got good instincts, I’ve had to, but I don’t need them to know that.”
Something stirred within him. Shifted. “You may be right.” He thought about how long he’d fantasized about Xian, how many things he’d always wanted to do to her, things he’d barely admitted to himself. He’d spent so many years protecting her, he even did it in his mind. Perhaps it was time to stop.
He smiled wryly. “I don’t suppose you’d want to wait out here?”
Delight transformed Siraj’s handsome face. “I don’t suppose I would.”
Hel sighed and shook his head, trying to act nonchalant. Inside he could hardly contain the primal excitement burning in his veins. He felt a moment’s worry, a moment’s pity for Xian as he began to enter the cave.
Who would protect her from him?
Chapter Six
Xian knelt beside the pool of bubbling water, staring into the liquid, unblinking, as though it would give her all the answers. Answers that would make more sense to her than the ones she’d found in the box.
She piled her hair on top of her head, using a jeweled bone to ho
ld it in place. Lowering her robes to her waist, she scooped a handful of the cleansing water and let it slide down her arm. She bathed herself slowly, studying the markings that covered her body. Marks of the Goddess. Sensual spirals twirled down her arms, her belly, even her sex. Her destiny had been written into her skin, her soul, for so long, she was not sure she could process what she’d found today.
The journal showed her what had been. The image of the man, woman and child, so happy together. The words of sadness, regret and resolve. Words that, in gifting Xian with a window into the past, had caused the small cracks in the foundation of her faith to split wide open.
She hadn’t been able to finish the journal, nor examine the other book in the package, not with her stomach in knots, her eyes blurred with tears. What those women had done to survive was understandable and, in itself, incredible. But what did that mean for her? What was she now? Where did she belong?
“Xian.”
She wasn’t surprised to hear his voice. Her heart had been crying out for him since she’d arrived. She continued to wash without looking up. “Xian? Yes, I suppose that is appropriate, isn’t it? I am no High Priestess. Not here. Not today.”
He knelt behind her and she could feel the heat of his body against her bare back as he agreed. “No. Not today. Today you are Xian.”
Her broken chuckle was tinged with bitterness…and hope. “And who is she? Do you know?”
Hel’s blunt fingertips touched her chin, turning it until she had no choice but to look up into his eyes. “I have always known her. She has haunted my every dream, tempted me each day that I breathe air. She is all that is beautiful and strong.” The determination in his malachite gaze made her shiver. “Xian is mine.”
His kiss was not the gentle request it had been before. His lips were marking his territory. Taking everything. She loved it. When he lifted his head she was breathless, aroused, all thoughts of what she’d seen, what she’d learned, gone with the power of her need. She noticed Siraj over Hel’s shoulder and startled in his arms.
She’d never seen that kind of smile on her Sun Guard before. It was confident. Sexual. “I know Siraj is here, Xian. This time, I know. I wish only for your pleasure. What would you do should I ask you to invite him to stay?”
He was studying her carefully. So carefully he must have seen the excitement sparkling in her eyes. Her voice was trembling when she answered. “Obey with haste and enthusiasm, Sun Guard, as I always do.”
They shared a secret smile as both remembered the last time those words were spoken. Before their world had turned upside down.
A splash drew both their gazes to Siraj, who had already stripped bare and now stood in the heated pool, the water lapping low on his lean hips. “This is hotter than I’d imagined.” His smirk told her he wasn’t merely speaking of the water temperature. “What say you, sweet Xian? May I stay?”
She looked up at Hel once more, unsure where this was leading, but unable to deny her desire to find out. “Yes, Siraj. You may.”
Siraj came closer, his warm brown eyes drawn to her full breasts. “I have the stars’ own luck it seems. Though not in all things. Your Sun Guard is still woefully overdressed. As are you.”
Hel shook his head at Siraj. “You’re to follow my lead. That is our deal.”
Siraj shrugged. “A deal I am more than happy with. I believe I’ll enjoy your brand of, um, leadership. I merely grow impatient for your first command.”
She’d thought Hel disliked Siraj. They must have reached some kind of understanding. She shifted in Hel’s embrace, her tight nipples scraping his bare arm.
His jaw clenched. “Xian. Stand up and remove your robes.”
Xian found herself obeying instantly. The tone in his voice thrilled her. She stood and the loose robes that had rested at her waist fell to her feet. She had no desire to cover herself. She wanted to be seen. To enjoy the masculine admiration in their expressions as they traced the heavy globes of her breasts, the dip in her waist, her sex bare but for her markings of fertility.
“By the moon, she is stunning.” Siraj had lowered his voice reverently. He came closer, and Xian could see his long erection skimming the top of the steamy water.
Hel stood beside her, setting his weapons and boots on the ground before slowly removing his clothes. “Yes, but she is so much more than that. There are no words to describe her. There never have been.”
Her heart jumped at his words. She wasn’t perfect. “Careful, Hel. I would not wish you to be disappointed. I’ve never—I don’t—”
He placed his thumb against her lower lip, stopping her words with a touch. “You could only disappoint me if you sent me away.”
She sighed. He stood there, naked, something so pure and beautiful in his gaze, and she was overcome with emotion. “Then you will never be disappointed.”
Hel lifted her easily in his arms and stepped into the water beside Siraj. “That is what I wanted to hear, my Xian. Now. Let us pleasure you.”
The two men shared a look, bending together to kiss her neck, her breasts. Hel lifted his head to join Xian in watching Siraj take one hard nipple between his teeth, biting with just enough pressure to make her gasp and arch in Hel’s arms.
“You like that, Xian? I didn’t think I would. Didn’t think I would enjoy seeing another’s mouth on your skin. Thought I would kill whoever tried.” He slid one hand beneath the water, between her legs. His fingers pushed inside her sex, her arousal easing his way, and he growled. “You more than like it, don’t you, my innocent Priestess? You love it. Love driving both of us wild, watching us go mad with wanting until all we can think about is fucking you. Claiming you.”
Goddess, his words. She knew words had the power to arouse, but she’d had no idea she could be so effected. Siraj was leaving a trail of not-so-gentle bites over her torso while Hel continued to thrust inside her with his fingers, the sensations enhanced by his graphic words.
She did love it. Less than a week ago she had never been touched. Men barely met her gaze. Women called her leader. Now, pressed between these two strong men, so different, but both desirable—now she felt right. A woman. A goddess. She had lost her usual serenity, her usual control. But she wasn’t afraid.
Hel would keep her safe. She trusted him, always had. Though she had never seen him like this. Controlling. Masterful. He was different. But so was she.
Siraj’s hand brushed against Hel’s where it touched the skin of her upper thigh, and she felt Hel flinch. She looked up at him, wondering at his reaction. It was known the men of Kroy Wen, even many of the Sun Guards, participated in same-sex relationships in between breeding times. It made sense when no lottery was scheduled, when they did not have enough to trade for a Rose, that they would seek satisfaction where they could find it. It was even promoted by the Temple to decrease frustration. Xian had the distinct feeling that Hel had never sought it out…and that Siraj had. The idea was evocative. Enticing.
She lost her train of thought as they moved closer, and she felt two hot cocks burning against her hips. Hel’s fingers, Siraj’s lips, they weren’t enough. She needed more. Craved it as she’d never craved anything before. She’d dreamt of it since she’d overseen the lottery, witnessed the Breeders and Priestesses open their bodies for the men’s primitive invasion. Flesh sliding against flesh, forcing two into one. Longed for it since Hel first took her in his arms.
Her body was aching. Empty. “Please.”
“You cannot torture her, Sun Guard.” Siraj was panting against her neck. “Not this time. She is too ready. If you do not take her soon, then I surely will.”
Hel snarled. “She is mine. You’ll put your cock nowhere without my permission.” With that warning he dragged Xian higher up his chest, until her breasts were crushed against his body and her mouth being ravaged under his.
He pressed his forehead against hers. “Stop me now if you must, Xian. There is no going back after this.”
“No. Don’t stop. I beg you.
I want you to. I want it to be you.”
Xian wrapped her legs around his waist, clinging to him as she remembered how he’d pulled away before. His groan was pained. “Have no worries, my love. I know exactly what you need.”
She felt his hands grip her hips, guiding her body until she could feel his shaft brushing against the lips of her sex. “Yes.”
“I offer myself to you, my Priestess. Soothe my anger. Sate my passion. Know me.”
The ritual words uttered at the start of the lottery. She could see he was trying to show her honor and reverence. To pay tribute to the courtship of the Goddess and The Angry Sun. They were words she never thought to hear anyone say to her.
She responded in kind. “I accept your offering. Come inside and I will sate you with my body. Know me.”
Hel skimmed his lips across hers, sharing his breath as he lowered her onto his erection. Her mouth opened on a soundless cry, and he took full advantage, filling her mouth as he filled her body.
Too big…too much. She’d pleasured herself, used tools made of clay and sun-glass to simulate, to train others, but she wasn’t prepared for how different this felt. This true intimacy. This connection.
His heartbeat pulsed through his skin inside her. When she thought she couldn’t take any more of him, he angled her hips and lowered her another inch. She felt stretched to the point of pain, but it was a good pain. A beautiful pain.
He tore his mouth from hers and pressed his forehead against her shoulder and a fine tremor passed from his body to hers. Xian wrapped her arms around his neck, her hands in his hair. She felt connected to him, beyond the physical. She knew he was still holding back, still protecting her from the strength of his passion.
She began to rock against him, circling her hips slowly, sensually. Her breath caught and a sudden image flashed in her mind. Xian was kneeling in the Temple, surrounded by Priestesses before the last lottery. Several had expressed nervousness at that years’ chosen. They were too rough. They did not know how to bring pleasure. She had invited them to her personal chambers, reminded them that they had the true power in the sensual struggle. They could please themselves. As they cried out in ecstasy around her, from their hands, their clay phalluses, she recalled seeing something out of the corner of her eye.
Wasteland: The Priestess Page 5