“Shami, you need to tell the men that I’ve gone out to fetch you dinner.”
“Shami having dinner with Grace.”
“I know, baby, but Noor needs to hide from the bad men. Can you help Noor hide?”
Shami’s brow creased. “Noor-di hide,” he said solemnly.
As quietly as possible I tapped on the latrine door.
“Let me in, Aamaal. It’s an emergency.”
“I’m not finished” came her surly reply.
“Please, Aamaal. I need to come in, quickly!”
She unlocked the door just as I heard the voices rounding the corner. I slipped in and locked it behind me. I wasn’t sure if I’d been spotted. The smell in the room made me gag but it also filled me with hope. If I could find someplace to hide I was certain the men wouldn’t give the room any more than a very brief once-over.
“Pran and Nishikar-Sir are coming, Aamaal,” I whispered, looking down to where she was crouching above the hole. “They can’t know I’m here.”
She nodded in understanding. It broke my heart at how easily she accepted a dangerous situation.
“If they open the door, I will stand behind it,” I whispered. “You must make sure they don’t open it too far. Can you do that?”
She nodded again.
“Hello, Shami.” Voices were just on the other side of the door. I recognized Pran’s. “Where’s Noor, Shami?”
“Noor-di buy kebabs,” said Shami.
I had to smile. I almost never bought kebabs. We couldn’t afford them, but they were Shami’s favorite. If I got through this, he was definitely getting kebabs tonight.
“Would she leave them alone?” asked another male voice. It had to be Nishikar-Sir.
“She wouldn’t leave them on the street but she’d leave them in here if she was just going out to get food,” said Pran.
“I told you I wanted to see her. Why would you let her go out?”
“I’m very sorry, Nishikar-Sir, I didn’t know you were coming tonight, you didn’t—”
Pran’s obsequious pleading was cut short by a loud thwack.
“Do you think I have time for your excuses, you useless mule? Go find the girl and bring her to me.”
“She might be in there, Nishikar-Sir.”
“Why didn’t you say that in the first place? Are you trying to hide her from me?”
There were two more loud cracks, accompanied by Pran’s whimpers. I had to admit I felt a grim satisfaction in hearing him get beaten.
I jumped at a sharp rap on the door and I pressed against the wall.
“I’m in here!” shouted Aamaal.
“Is that you, Aamaal?” It was Pran again, though his voice sounded different than I’d ever heard it, weak and frightened. “Where is your sister?”
“She went to buy food,” said Aamaal.
“Why did she leave you two here?”
“I have bad diarrhea. Do you want to see?”
If I hadn’t been so terrified, I would have laughed.
“These children are more effort than they’re worth,” snarled Nishikar-Sir. “I hope you charge Ashmita double to let them stay here.”
I bristled with indignation. We were already charged for every bucket of water, the rental of Ma’s bed, a share of the electricity and we bought all our own food. What more could we be charged for?
“Of course, Nishikar-Sir, we’ll certainly do that.”
“I’ve been offered a good price for the girl, Pran. I’ll be back for her before morning. When she returns, lock her up.”
My blood pulsed in my ears. It was true, then. That was his plan. I was trembling so much I had to sit down on the filthy, urine-stained floor.
“I understand, sir. It’s just that I think Ashmita was hoping to delay a little longer. The girl’s a top student, medal-winning.”
“Education is wasted on girls. It only gives them expectations they have no right to. Ashmita’s delayed long enough. How old is the girl, thirteen, fourteen? Does Ashmita plan to wait until the blossom has wilted? She’s worth less every day.”
“But the Devadasis, sir, they support each other. If you anger one—”
“Let them experience my anger! The Devadasis are born to be whores. They should know their place. If Ashmita cooperates, the girl can continue to work here. If she doesn’t … well, I have brothels all over the country. I’ll send her away and Ashmita will never see her again. See how she likes that!”
“Ashmita’s been a good earner for—”
Again Pran was cut off. The door reverberated as something slammed into it. There was a muffled grunt.
“Ashmita will be dead within two years. Her earnings are already a fraction of what the young girls bring in. The lounge is full tonight because you got the young one back. We need more like her. We’re doing the lot of them a favor by training the girl. Everyone expects something for nothing. Who does she think will feed those brats once she’s gone?”
Loud footsteps receded down the hallway. I rose heavily to my feet and put a cold hand on the door. I was on the point of opening it when Shami spoke.
“Why are you sitting there, Pran-ji. Do you feel sick?”
Clever boy. I didn’t know Pran was still outside.
“Shut up!”
There was scuffling, at first quiet and then louder.
“Let go, Pran-ji.”
“You’re coming with me. It’s long past time I introduced you to a little place where your sister spent many nights at your age.”
No! I threw open the door and took in the scene in an instant: Shami was twisting and cowering away, trying desperately to escape as Pran dragged him down the hall. I saw the familiar light of excitement in Pran’s eyes as the tears rolled down Shami’s face. My little brother, who’d endured countless injections, a life of wracking coughs and constant illness, who never complained, never cried. I ran after them and leaped on Pran’s back, pummeling him.
“Let go of him!” I screamed.
Pran dropped Shami as he turned his attention to me, raising his hands to ward off my blows while trying to grab my swinging arms at the same time. I felt rather than saw Aamaal join the fray. Pran howled in pain. I knew Aamaal had bitten him. I’d suffered her bites myself on many occasions. He lashed out, and I heard the sickening crack of his fist hitting flesh. It wasn’t my own, so it had to be one of my siblings’. I turned to look and saw Aamaal flying through the air. She cracked against the wall and dropped to the floor. She lay still, whimpering. I left Pran to rush to her but he grabbed me from behind and threw me to the ground. As he bent over me Shami leaped on his back, a whirlwind of teeth and nails.
“Go get Ma, Shami,” I gurgled as Pran easily shook him off and dragged me to my feet, one hand clutching my hair, the other encircling my throat.
Shami was off, scampering down the hall. Pran didn’t even notice.
“You’ve been trouble since you were a child.” Pran pulled me after him in the opposite direction. “I hope Nishikar-Sir does send you away. I’ll be glad to be rid of you.”
There was only one place we could be going in that direction. The box.
“No, Pran-ji,” I pleaded. “You don’t have to lock me in there. I won’t try to escape. Just let me look after my sister.” I craned my head over his shoulder, trying to see Aamaal. She hadn’t moved from where she’d fallen. Her arm was twisted underneath her body in a way that looked physically impossible. “Please, Pran-ji, I beg you.”
He laughed. “You’re going to be doing a lot of begging over the next weeks, little Noor.”
“STOP!” My mother had come. She rushed forward with an energy I hadn’t seen in weeks and gave Pran a hard shove that made him release me, though he took a chunk of my hair with him. I winced, then ran to Aamaal, still flat on the floor.
“What do you think you’re …?” Ma broke off midsentence when she caught sight of Aamaal. In seconds she was at my side. “What has he done to her?” she demanded.
“She atta
cked me,” said Pran, coming to stand over us. “You’re lucky I didn’t do worse.”
Ma wasn’t listening. She gently raised Aamaal so she could free her trapped arm but it dangled uselessly from her shoulder. Aamaal moaned.
“It hurts, Ma,” she said.
Ma laid her down again, positioning the floppy arm at her side. “Stay still, child,” she said. “Noor, go get a dupatta. We need to bind it.”
I jumped up, grateful to have my old ma back and taking charge. Even Pran stepped aside to let me pass as I ran to the ladder. I clambered up, only slowing when my head was above the level of our floor. Deepa-Auntie and Lali-didi were entertaining customers. I was as quiet as possible as I rushed past their closed curtains. Ma’s own bed looked recently vacated. I knelt down and pulled out our box of clothes, taking Ma’s cleanest and least worn dupatta. For a moment I wondered if she’d object, but this was Aamaal. I was sure she would have made the same choice.
I raced back to my sister. Shami and Ma were on the floor comforting her. Pran stood nearby. I helped Ma use the dupatta to bind Aamaal’s arm tightly against her chest.
“We must take her to the hospital. Noor, go out to the main road and bring back a taxi.”
“Noor’s not going anywhere.” Pran suddenly came to life, crossing his arms and spreading his legs in a stance clearly intended to prevent our passage.
“What are you talking about, flea-on-a-rat’s-backside? Noor needs to help me take her sister to hospital. Can’t you see you’ve broken Aamaal’s arm?”
“You can go but Noor stays here.”
“Why should I leave her? What’s it to you?”
“Nishikar-Sir wants to meet her.”
“For what purpose?” Ma knew the answer. There could be only one.
“He wants to sell me,” I said, before Pran could come up with a lie.
“Not without my permission,” said Ma coldly.
“There’ll be trouble if she’s not here when he returns, Ashmita. I won’t let him take her tonight but we must let him see her, so he doesn’t think you’re openly defying him. Then tomorrow we can all discuss what is to be done.” Pran’s voice was uncharacteristically reasonable. I felt a prickle of fear.
Ma gave him a hard stare. She too was suspicious. Aamaal moaned again. Ma got unsteadily to her feet, Aamaal in her arms. For the first time I realized what this fight had cost her. Though the drugs I’d been slipping her had helped, she was still weak.
“Please let me go with them, Pran-ji,” I pleaded. “I promise I’ll come back.”
“I’m sorry, Noor,” he said, sounding genuinely regretful. “I can’t do that. You must meet with Nishikar-Sir tonight. But I promise I won’t let him touch you until your ma returns.”
Ma looked from Pran to me, her face creased with indecision.
“I’ll be back soon, Noor. If I go quickly I might return before Nishikar-Sir gets here. Look after your brother.”
I held my breath, rigidly holding myself, so the tears would not fall.
“I’ll be back soon,” she repeated. “She had better be here when I return, Pran, or you will experience the true meaning of trouble.”
Ma swept past him and disappeared around the corner and out of sight. The harsh glare of the fluorescent light gave Pran’s pointed features a maniacal glow as he advanced toward me. Shami hid behind my leg. I put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.
“If you go quietly, Noor, I won’t beat you.”
“You don’t need to lock me in, Pran. I’ll wait for Nishikar-Sir and my mother.”
He laughed. It was the most chilling sound I’d heard all night.
“You’ll be gone long before your mother returns, Noor. I’ll make sure of that.”
“You wouldn’t dare. Ma will be furious.”
“Perhaps, but she’ll get over it. We both know which daughter she loves, Noor. She’s always treated you as little more than a servant. I’m surprised you aren’t looking forward to getting away from her. You’ll have your own life, your own money.”
“Before or after I’ve paid back my purchase price?” I scoffed.
“Don’t worry, you’ll work in another of Nishikar-Sir’s brothels, possibly in Calcutta or Bangalore. Wouldn’t you like to see a bit more of this great country of ours? There will be no purchase price because he already owns you. A share of your earnings will go into your own pocket from the first day. Who knows, perhaps someday you’ll earn enough that you can send for the little brat.” He nodded at Shami.
I hoisted Shami onto my hip and tried to walk past him. “I’ve heard enough, Pran. I’ll wait outside for my mother.”
“You will do what I tell you, Noor, or I’ll wring your brother’s neck, like you should have done the day he was born, sickly runt that he is.”
I hesitated. Pran made a grab for Shami and we scuffled, Shami kicking out with his little legs, but even united we were no match for Pran. He had Shami out of my arms in seconds. We squared off, him holding my squirming, clawing brother, and me, my arms empty. I thought my heart would stop; the pain of seeing Shami in Pran’s clutches was that great. My pride, watching Shami’s determined struggle not to give in, was matched only by my agony. It was a struggle I’d witnessed every day of his life.
“All right,” I said. “Let him go. I’ll go with you.”
Grace
I wanted to recreate my fifteenth birthday. That’s my excuse. It was the best birthday I’d ever had. Up till then most of my birthdays had been little-kid birthdays: specifically, unpopular little-kid birthdays, by which I mean I celebrated with my family.
By my fifteenth birthday I still didn’t have enough friends to have a party but I did have one exceptionally wonderful friend who was determined to make my birthday special. Tina said it was time we had a sophisticated grown-up evening, no parents allowed. She chose a real five-star restaurant, with napkins and fine china. She even had to make a reservation. We both got dressed up and put on makeup. We had a good giggle when we got to the place and the hostess realized it was just us.
Tina ordered truffles crostini and roast duck; I ordered scallops almandine and grilled salmon. We were both dismayed to discover truffles were just expensive mushrooms. They tasted hideous so we shared my scallops. The only rule was that everything we ordered had to be something we’d never tried before—new experiences to celebrate the new me. Tina said turning fifteen was like teetering on the precipice of adulthood. Sixteen was an adult. Fifteen was a practice run. The excitement of dating and college and careers seemed just around the corner. We couldn’t wait.
I didn’t tell Noor that Friday was my sixteenth birthday. I didn’t want to pressure her or make it into a big deal. But it was a big deal, bigger than she could possibly have imagined. The past few weeks had been a nightmare. I couldn’t believe that all my hopes and expectations of who I’d be on my sixteenth birthday could have imploded so dramatically in such a short space of time. I thought maybe with Noor I could recreate some of the magic of my friendship with Tina.
As usual it took many lies to convince my parents to let me spend the evening with Noor. It wasn’t just that she was a sex worker’s daughter, though that did worry them. More than that, they no longer trusted me to make good decisions without adult supervision. I told them Parvati and VJ would be there as well. I thought they might be more encouraging if it seemed that I was developing a group of friends. It didn’t help. They didn’t know any of my new friends, so their overprotective paranoia was in overdrive.
Mom insisted on talking me through my plans multiple times. If I hadn’t known better, I’d have suspected it was the lawyer in her trying to trip me up in a lie.
“And you’re going with VJ’s driver?”
“Yes, that’s why I’m walking to his house.”
“Why can’t our driver take you?”
“It’s like last year, Mom. VJ’s taking me out, like Tina did.” I knew that would get to her. Mom was almost as devastated by my loss of a best friend as I
was.
“Maybe I should call VJ’s mother,” said Mom.
“Please don’t embarrass me, Mom. I need to go out with friends like a normal teenager.”
Mom sighed. The Achilles’ heel for both my parents was always the same. They wanted my life to be perfect. To control them, the only real challenge was to figure out how to convince them that giving me what I wanted would ensure that.
I spent considerable time deciding what to wear. I didn’t want to dress super-fancy like last year but I did put on one of my prettiest Indian print dresses and a bit of makeup. I wasn’t trying to show off. I just wanted to look my best. I hoped Noor would notice and tell me I looked nice. If it felt right, I’d admit it was my birthday. Maybe after the falafel place we could get cake somewhere.
When I was ready I did a quick turn in front of the mirror.
“What do you think, Bosco?” Bosco, asleep on my bed as usual, raised his head and looked at me. “I’m sixteen. Can you believe it? I want you to know things are going to be okay from now on. I really like Noor and I’ve got VJ. So you can stop worrying about me.”
I wasn’t at all sure if this was the truth, but I wanted it to be. I went over and gave his ears a reassuring rub, kissed him and headed to the kitchen to say good-bye to my parents.
Dad was sitting at the table. “Your mom tells me you’re going out with VJ and some girls from the NGO tonight,” said Dad, trying to sound as though he wasn’t crushed.
I walked over, hugged him and kissed the top of his head. He gave me a one-armed squeeze and I stayed a while with his arm around me.
“We can go out tomorrow night, Dad. It’ll give you more time to plan something really super-special.”
Fifteen Lanes Page 20