by L. L. Fine
Looking for a challenge: You know that? You don’t know everything.
*
"You’re clearly bringing him into a shitty world," he said firmly.
"Still, I will not have an abortion."
08/05/01 Email to Zomy
Dear Zomy,
Hi.
Thank you for giving me this opportunity to communicate with you. This is important to me, because you are important to me. No longer as a Deep Throat, but as man. And as a dad in the future.
And that's perhaps the keyword: future.
Our children are our future. The reason we exist, and their kids are the reason they exist. And if we were able to know the future, perhaps we wouldn’t bring them into existence.
Right?
It's only in your mind. You think you know the future. But this isn’t true. A lot of people think they know the future, and all are wrong. Or, at least, weren’t altogether right. There’s always room for error, or else other people disrupt your plans. And you, with your advanced genetics and big computers, even you admit you're just getting started.
And as you've possibly discovered something important, it's critical. But maybe other people in the world have discovered it? Or will discover it? And maybe someone will think of something, not now - maybe in a hundred years. You just don’t know!
In short, what I’m saying is, it will give the future a chance. And if you see it as all black, at least be consoled that your child will delight you, as I know my daughter delights me.
Stop thinking, start living.
That is my message to you.
Love,
Liron
08/06/01 Email
Liron,
Thanks for the love, there was no need. I'm really not that worth it. About everything you wrote about the future, it will be fine. We are going to bring up the child, it's just not clear in what form this upbringing will be.
About the future itself? I'm not going to rely on others. I never trusted anyone to do my work for me, and I'm not going to start now. The lady and I decided we would stay and fight, and we are working on a solution.
It won’t take too long, I think.
You'll hear from me.
Chromosomy
*
Keshny was in a dilemma.
For several weeks now he had been puzzling. For the few weeks since order was restored, since the purification of the Institute from the virtual fungus that stuck to it. Since the work got back to normal.
His dilemma was called Zomy.
On one hand, the odd Computerman served as the Institute's oracle. An essential resource for everything. He was not a biologist, but his knowledge was amazing. Anyone who wanted something only needed a few minutes with Zomy to find it. Not from Zomy, probably - but from the huge computer he had built, ensuring as he went that he was the only one who knew to operate it skillfully. From this perspective, Zomy was not replaceable.
On the other hand, Zomy had lost every shred of trust Keshny had ever held for him. There was not much from the beginning, Keshny admitted to himself. Zomy was a mystery, and Keshny did not like mysteries. From his past in Bnei Brak to his hazy background in computers, everything about him was strange. Bloody mystery.
And the GSS investigations revealed nothing strange really. But he didn't trust the GSS either, not since Yigal Amir and his fucking champagne. Religious zealots do not think rationally, he had concluded long ago. And Zomy had strong religious beliefs, or, at least, a background in it. He regularly listened to Jewish music, damn it.
No. He did not trust him.
Certainly not after what happened in the United States. Certainly not after what happened with the fungus! God knows who created it! But what in God’s name caused Zomy to find it at that moment - and then do what he did. Suicide? Hero? Or spy?
Keshny recalled stories of Eli Cohen, the Israeli spy in Syria. He was considered, in the eyes of the Syrian leadership, as a hero, reliable, an “our” man, above suspicion.
How many Eli Cohens were there in Syria? How many in Israel?
So what, he's an IDF veteran, and from an elite unit. So what? So what?
He just didn't trust him.
How can you trust someone who knows so much more than you? How can you trust someone who watches all your steps, when you know that he can see everything that happens on your computer (or the GSS's, for that matter) any time he wants?
Keshny never trusted anyone completely. And Zomy - he did not trust at all.
Good. He came to a decision.
08/10/01 Email
Liron,
They are sending me to the American branch of the Institute.
There are consequences.
We'll talk later.
Z
08/11/01 MSN Chat
Zomy 17: You've found me?
Columbus: Yes, for now. Welcome back.
Zomy 17: You know, he didn't really discover America.
Columbus: Good luck counts.
Zomy 17: I mean, he was more about South America. I'm sent to exile in the northern continent.
Columbus: Exile, eh?
Zomy 17: That’s how it feels.
Columbus: But you've been there before, right?
Zomy 17: Many times, but this time it’s for an extended period. Years probably.
Columbus: Why?
Zomy 17: Official reason? To monitor the computer network from outside. Unofficial reason? I don’t know, but there is one, certainly.
Columbus: Maybe you're just afraid?
Zomy 17: No, no. Too much chaos around me lately…
Columbus: And ... Lia?
Zomy 17: Oh, now it gets complicated.
Zomy 17: No one knows about Lia.
Zomy 17: No one knows anything.
Columbus: What does she say about all this?
*
For a long time she said nothing. Just sat on her chair, in her room, in front of the new screen of her new computer, staring at some point on the table. Zomy remained standing in front of her, and finally sat down.
She looked at him.
"Why ... why did you come to me with this?"
"Because I think it's your business as well," he said and squared his shoulders.
"What can I do about it? They tell you to go, then you must go."
"I can say no, you know."
“I don’t know what to tell you. "
Zomy leaned back, adjusting his oxygen mask on his face. He did not know what to say. How to break the silence. He never imagined he would end up in such an embarrassing situation when he entered her room. He planned a lively conversation on plans, on arrangements, on... thinking like a man, he realized. Not thinking how a woman with an unwanted pregnancy would think - such complex issues to consider in so many ways. She could not cope with additional pressures.
And here she was in front of him, so beautiful, so fragile, so pregnant.
“So refuse, that’s what you should do.' Her eyes met his, and her fingers were crossed.
"If I say no, I'll have to explain why."
Oh.
She raised her eyes, focusing on his gaze. Her fragile, imperceptible shrug made room for a certain, new toughness. She could not avoid dealing with the issue, she realized.
And Zomy was relieved.
"Explain what? Us?"
"He already knows about us. But not this." He indicated her stomach.
"I really don’t want him to know."
"Ultimately it will come out."
"So it comes out in the end! Meantime it’s a personal matter and I don’t want them to know about it. Certainly not Keshny."
"Do you want to come with me?"
"What, to see Keshny?"
"No ... I meant abroad."
Lia considered this. What had she here? No family, no roots, a job she didn’t enjoy, at least not recently. She could always go back to private practice, apply to an HMO or hospital. Something in her very much wanted to get away from everything related to the Institute, to Z
omy ... no, not Zomy. But yes, perhaps keeping Zomy away from the Institute, yes. Perhaps going overseas was not a bad idea.
*
Zomy 17: She said she had to think about it.
Columbus: Give it time.
Zomy 17: There is no time! I'm practically being kicked out of my office in two days.
Columbus: Isn’t that a bit drastic?
Zomy 17: Yes, but don’t forget the line of work I’m in. It's not like there's a union or a statutory two-weeks’ notice.
Zomy 17: It’s all clandestine.
Columbus: And yet, it seems harsh to me.
Zomy 17: I've known things move faster here. This is relatively calm.
Columbus: What’s your view on all this?
Zomy 17: It’s quite a quandary.
Zomy 17: On one hand, I really want to go abroad. It got pretty nasty here recently.
Zomy 17: On the other hand, without Lia, there's no point.
Zomy 17: And what about Lia going abroad? Her lab is here.
Zomy 17: And we can’t continue with our research.
Columbus: What’s with the study? You started saying that there's something there, maybe.
Zomy 17: Yes, there ...
Columbus: So...? What exactly do you do have?
Zomy 17: There is the beginning of something. We’ll test it.
*
"Listen, it's not trivial."
They were back on the grass, hiding from the blazing sun in the shade of the trees, sipping from cold drinks cans. The tree, like many in the small park, had recently been equipped with listening devices. It did not bother Zomy too much. The transcripts were digital, recorded directly to a central computer, where potential listeners were studying long minutes of chirping birds.
"But doable?"
"I believe so," said Lia, and a pinch of enthusiasm crept into her voice. "It's not so complicated a mechanism as a personal biological clock. On the contrary, it seems quite simple, once you understand what's happening. The mechanics just happen during meiosis itself."
"You have no idea how to cancel it?"
"I have some ideas. But I need you here, not in America."
"Keshny wants me to leave tomorrow, you know."
"Turn him down!"
"Come with me!"
"But, Zomy, we already talked about this."
"And you know how hard it is for us! Come with me. Come with me to Keshny, we'll explain it to him. Ask him a few days to organize. Maybe two weeks. You think it’d help us, two weeks?"
"Two weeks?"
*
Columbus: You know, you talk about periods so small, it just sounds crazy. How can you do anything useful? Doesn’t the research take years?
Zomy 17: It’s slow by other means. You forget what computing power we have there. Not least, it was the work of years to build a suitable database. Now it's just technical.
Columbus: Still, two weeks? How?
Zomy 17: Our system is upgraded all the time. Not only the number of computers, but their quality.
Columbus: Explain.
Zomy 17: What computer do you have?
Zomy 17: Never mind, I know what computer you have. But what did you have last year?
Columbus: Pentium 3, but I upgraded since then.
Columbus: Oh.
Zomy 17: See? Here we have a grid of hundreds of thousands of computers, that upgrade all the time and not on our site. Understand? So everything gets faster and faster. And really it's just technical.
Columbus: How technical? You’re dealing here with Creation.
Zomy 17: Anyone who brings children into the world is dabbling with Creation. We just happen to facilitate error.
Columbus: According to what you said it’s not exactly a mistake, it’s a mechanism that ... what is it?
Zomy 17: You could say it’s an evolutionary mechanism.
Zomy 17: It also has a good Darwinian explanation, which is also taken from game theory.
Columbus: Game Theory? What the hell?
Zomy 17: Mathematics.
Columbus: Yuck!
Zomy 17: It’s rather fascinating, you’d love it.
Columbus: OK, I'm listening.
Zomy 17: Look, consider an animal species in which adults do not die naturally.
Zomy 17: The species grows and grows and grows, and slowly creates competition for resources between the robust adults and the soft youngsters.
Zomy 17: The adults won’t allow the youngsters to strengthen and threaten them.
Zomy 17: Which makes this race murderous to itself.
Zomy 17: Eventually you have a race full of older subjects murdering the young ones when they’re very small.
Zomy 17: It's also kind of inflexible, because new young aren’t born with genetic variation.
Zomy 17: So this whole species, as a race, fails to respond well to changes in the environment, and finds it difficult to survive.
Zomy 17: In short, the problem: death must be a mechanism to refresh the lines and pump in new blood all the time at the expense of the old.
Columbus: So death is not an accident, but a pre-defined mechanism?
Zomy 17: Yes. And other mechanisms are designed to ensure that the mechanism of death works for everyone.
Columbus: It’s a pretty smart mechanism, isn’t it?
Zomy 17: I didn’t say that.
Zomy 17: But you know, as a mechanism for evolution it’s quite far-reaching.
Columbus: Explain.
Zomy 17: All evolutionary features…
Zomy 17: (We know…)
Zomy 17: Have a quite regular structure. It's like a line of computer code, but instead of electronic signals it encodes proteins.
Zomy 17: Now, these proteins are going to play a role.
Columbus: What's the difference here?
Zomy 17: There’s no encoding of protein. There’s a set distance between the two chains’ different code, getting shorter every generation. When the two chains unite, they stop performing, and then meiosis is messed up.
Columbus: And meiosis is – tell me again?
Zomy 17: The division of the fertilized egg.
Zomy 17: Now.
Zomy 17: It's not that simple, because the area that separates the chains is exposed to genetic changes. Like some kind of litmus paper.
Zomy 17: And only if there is no genetic change in the area, it shortens…
Columbus: So your goal is to prevent it being shortened?
*
"This month is borderline, but it will do."
Keshny's air conditioner was set unusually cold, unlike the summer that raged outside. Zomy and Lia stood there in front of him, searching his face for the effects of their news.
As expected, he moved not a muscle. After an interesting and spicy career, Keshny was experienced in the management of military intelligence, which cut off all contact between his face and his feelings, or his thoughts.
Sad? Happy? Satisfied? You could never tell from his expression what he really felt, or what he really wanted from you.
Zomy knew that once, after one of the wars, Keshny spent time in one of the less pleasant prisons in the Middle East. A captive. He knew he was tortured for quite a while. Is that there he developed his poker face? Or, maybe, somewhere else?
"You pose a problem to the Institute, both of you," Keshny responded pertinently. "Basically, I have no obligation to allow your little issue here to interfere with work, you know."
Lia gave Zomy a surprised look, and he, in turn, took a deep breath from his oxygen tank. He was about to say something, but Keshny stopped him, raising a hand.
"But - you're established and respected here, and I'd love, of course, to help you as best I can. Are you... going to keep this baby?”
Again exchange glances.
"We haven’t decided," Lia said quickly, before Zomy could get his answer out from behind his mask.
Did Keshny seem a little more relaxed?
"We really don’t know,"
said Zomy. "We need more time to decide."
Keshny looked at them, standing in front of him, just below the grille of the air conditioner (planned in advance, by the way, to cause maximum inconvenience to everyone standing there) and shivering. Something inside him felt a glorious victory. He was right! All along the way, he was right. He was right - and the ulcer was wrong.
They did have sex, though they vigorously denied it at the time. And they had an affair, so they were lovers - despite all their pretence and games. I read through their masks, he thought with increasing satisfaction. Computerman and the Ice Doctor, who would have thought?
God only knows what she saw in him, of course.
And now they stood before him, begging for mercy, trapped in a situation they did not know how to get out of. Two small children, embarrassed. Not only did they have trouble dealing with the pregnancy, Computerman also got a long stint abroad, complicating things for him even more.
One moment…perhaps this was his way of trying to stay here?
"Are you sure you’re pregnant?"
"Third month," said Lia. Zomy remained silent.
"Sure it's his?" Keshny asked her as if Zomy wasn't even in the room. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Zomy’s neck reddening, and smiled to himself. What happened under the mask was open to speculation.
"Yes, I'm sure." Lia sounded almost calm.
"And you're going to get married?"
*
Zomy 17: No, that would be a very complicated solution. If we try it, this is really the work of years to decipher the mechanism and fix it.
Zomy 17: There are much easier ways to settle the matter.
Columbus: So your goal is to prevent the gap reducing?
Zomy 17: The goal is to prevent the pieces from sticking together at all.
Zomy 17: What we do is attach an indestructible border to the top of the lower chain.
Zomy 17: So no matter what happens in real time, even if it is completely shortened the two chains won’t touch each other and will continue to function.
Columbus: Brilliant.
Columbus: I have no other word.